by Jaime Maddox
Maybe, but first she needed to know the rules of the game. She needed to share her feelings. And she needed to know Alex’s feelings as well. She rested her head against Alex’s shoulder and spoke into her jacket, still holding her arm.
“Alex, you’re an English teacher. You’re good with words. You’ve got to come up with a better answer than that.”
“I don’t think I understand the question,” Alex said.
Brit leaned back and found Alex’s eyes. “What are you after, here? You know me. I’m not some girl you can just play with and then cast aside. I’m not fling material. So what do you want with me?”
Alex stammered, finding her courage. She sniffled, the cold air causing an inopportune runny nose. Then she spoke the truth of her heart. “You make me forget everyone else in the world, Brit. No one else is on my mind or in my heart. I want to be with only you. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing. If we’re doing it together, I’m happy.”
“But what do you want? Are you looking for a new best friend? Someone to hang out with? Someone to bike with? A new golf partner?”
Alex shook her head. “All of those. But a lover, too. I want a real relationship, Brit. With you.”
“You were somewhat put off when you found out I’m a virgin. What’s changed?”
Alex shook her head, reached for Brit’s hand. “Oh, no, Brit. I wasn’t put off. I was just shocked.” Alex paused and looked heavenward, unable to find the courage to look at her. “I feel unworthy of you,” she whispered.
The confession shocked Brit. “You?”
“Yeah, me.”
Brit took Alex’s hand and squeezed it. “Look at me, Alex.”
Brit waited until Alex looked down at her. “I’ve never felt such an attraction to another human being. It’s so powerful I feel like I’m flying most of the time. But I have to know this means something more than sex to you. If not, I can’t do it. Maybe, if we didn’t work together, I could have a little fling. Because, honestly, you turn me on so much I think I’ll die soon if you don’t touch me. But I can’t make love with you and walk away and pretend each time I see you that it didn’t happen.”
“Didn’t you hear me? It’s not about sex! I want a relationship with you.” The way Alex tripped on the words made Britain laugh, and Alex joined her. “I’m nervous. You make me nervous.”
Pulling Alex closer, Brit once again folded herself in her arms as she attempted to reassure her. The heat of Alex’s body was the perfect remedy to the chilly night. The combination of Alex’s firm muscles against her and the gentle way she held her made Brit feel safe. How could Alex ever hurt her?
Emotions overwhelmed her—fear, happiness, desire. She thought she might cry. This was exactly where she wanted to be, and it felt right. She knew she had to say something to Alex, but for a moment she just stayed silent and enjoyed the perfection of the moment.
Then stroking Alex’s back, she tilted her head, kissed along her jaw until she found her ear. “I don’t imagine you’re nervous very often. But if it makes you feel any better, you should know that I share your jitters.”
“It does,” Alex said, and she kissed the same place on Brit’s ear. “So what now?” Alex asked.
Brit felt exhausted as heat seemed to soften the resolve of her muscles. It took a few seconds to think about Alex’s question. She had no idea what came next. A kiss was the last thing she’d imagined as she’d followed Alex’s retreating form onto the patio. But then she thought of her fantasies, of how she’d always imagined it would be. How it should be.
“Why don’t we go on a date?” Brit said.
“A date?”
“Yes, a date. You pick me up, we do something fun together, you drive me home afterward.”
“And we don’t have sex.”
Brit laughed. “Not until the second date.”
Alex pulled Brit close again, and their mouths found each other in the darkness. This kiss was slower, wetter, deeper. Hotter. They pulled away breathless.
Alex dropped her hand to hers and pulled her toward the house. “Do you wanna get out of here and go on a date with me, Ms. Mouse?”
Her heart soaring at the words she’d never really thought she’d hear, Brit smiled.
“I’d love to, Captain.”
Chapter Nineteen
Film Festing
It was the second Friday in November, a cold, clear, crisp evening. Snow flurries had been dancing outside Alex’s window earlier in the day, threatening their plans, but they’d dissipated without a trace, making way for a magnificent sunset. An orange sun was just falling off the mountain’s top as Alex rushed in the door from practice, deposited one bag and picked up another, and threw some food into a cooler before heading back out the door. She drove to Brit’s and announced her arrival by phone, then waited for her in the parking lot.
This was the weekend of the film festival, and they’d scheduled practice to allow them forty-eight hours of downtime. It was crazy, the idea of driving two hundred miles just to watch a few movies, but they were doing it anyway. The movie previews were exciting, and they’d see Sal and Sue and hang out with Kim and Tam.
Alex was eager for her friends to spend time with Brit. Their opinions meant a lot to her, and even though she wouldn’t give up on Brit if they suggested it, their stamps of approval would make her feel better. She and Brit were both looking forward to seeing Sal. Since reconnecting at the beach, Alex knew Brit had been speaking to Sal weekly. Sal had taught for more than thirty years and was a great source of advice for everything from handling tardiness to developing test content. And her basketball knowledge was superb. They often put the phone on speaker as they talked hoops and Sal shared her ideas for plays and drills to help her players develop. Sal was important to both of them, and now that they were dating, both she and Brit wanted to share the news in person.
“All set?” Brit said as she opened the rear door and put her bag on the seat.
They talked nonstop during the trip, even through their quick dinner at the service plaza in Allentown. In truth, they’d been talking for two weeks. Since that moonlit kiss beneath the canopy of stars, so much had changed between them. Before that, neither was sure of the other. But they’d made a pact, sealed with a kiss and witnessed by the moon. Conversation had always been easy for them, but now it was more relaxed. They were talking about feelings and making plans instead of basketball and school and the weather.
“Yep,” Alex replied, and after leaning over to give Brit a kiss on the cheek, she started the car. Dating. They were dating. They looked for each other at school, and walked by each other’s classrooms, and slipped each other notes. Taking advantage of every opportunity, one or the other of them always reached out to touch a shoulder or an elbow when they were in close proximity. Once in a while, their eyes would meet, and they sent messages that way. You look great. It’s nice to see you. I want to kiss you again. And again.
Alex was smitten. But since that first, scorching, life-altering kiss, there had been only a few follow-ups, and Alex was frustrated. Brit’s comment about sex on the second date had clearly been a joke. They’d watched a movie at Alex’s place the night after the Halloween party and kissed good night in the driveway when Alex walked her to the car. Short, sweet, and intoxicating—that kiss had just left her hungry. After practice a few days later, Brit made Alex dinner, and another solitary, fabulous kiss occurred. They’d spent Saturday together, gone out for dinner with friends, and kissed in the car before Brit retired to her apartment, alone. Again during the week, Brit kissed her at the door. All of these one-kiss nights were driving her crazy. The need for more was driving her crazy.
Alex was amazed at how her priorities—and perhaps her needs—had changed. In her life before Brit, she would have laughed at the idea of dating. She wanted and expected sex, and she found plenty of partners who thought like her. Now though, she’d be thrilled to just cuddle, and to hold Brit, and to kiss her for hours. Sure, she wanted to make love,
but sex was a big commitment for Brit, and she was willing to wait until Brit was ready. They’d occupy separate bedrooms in Rehoboth—or at least that was the plan. Alex was eternally optimistic.
When they grew restless with the stops and starts of Friday-night traffic, Brit turned on the stereo, and as they listened to the Kinky Boots soundtrack the miles passed quickly. Alex had seen the show, and Brit wanted to, and they both knew all the words and sang along. They seemed to float on the fun lyrics and happy ending. It was after ten when they pulled into the parking lot of the condo. Kim and Tam had decided to take in a movie, so they wouldn’t see them until later. Alex and Brit were alone.
The thought made Brit shudder. Sure, they’d been alone dozens of times before this night. This was different, though. Rehoboth was a vacation of sorts, meant for them to relax and let loose. Just what did that mean to Alex? In the past, it had meant sex. What now that she was with a woman who wasn’t such an easy conquest?
The condo looked small from the outside but had an open layout and was quite roomy inside. On the first floor was a small study, with a stocked bookshelf and a large couch and chair flanking a reading lamp. A kitchenette opened to a spacious combined living and dining area. Up a flight of stairs were three bedrooms. She and Alex deposited their bags in rooms separated by a shared bath. Alex showered first, and after slipping into sweatpants and a long sleeve T-shirt, Brit joined her on the couch. Alex looked comfy in sweats, too. They were still alone, except for a bottle of red wine, a corkscrew, and two wineglasses sitting on the coffee table.
Raising a questioning eyebrow toward Alex, Brit picked up the bottle. It was the same cabernet she’d enjoyed on their first…date? “For me?” she asked.
“You liked that label, didn’t you?” Alex queried.
“I did. Thank you!” As Brit began peeling the foil wrapper from the cork, the significance of the second glass registered. There was no beer or other beverage on the table in front of Alex. “And will you be joining me?”
“I thought I might broaden my horizons.”
Pouring just an inch of wine in each glass, Brit showed Alex how to swirl the wine and inhale the aroma before taking her first sip. “Now let it flow slowly across your tongue, from the tip to the base, so you can pick up all the flavors.”
Tipping her head down and her eyes up, Alex laughed. “I don’t know if this is appropriate conversation for a chaste date.”
Brit’s shoulders shook with laughter, and she gasped and began choking on her wine. She handed the glass to Alex as her eyes watered and she coughed and sputtered, desperately trying to regulate her breathing. Meanwhile, Alex was slapping her back with an open palm. When it was over, once again Brit burst into a fit of laughter, and leaning forward, Alex pulled her into her arms, their lips meeting as they both giggled. The laughter quickly faded as the kiss deepened, setting Brit on fire and melting her, and then breathless, they pulled apart.
“This is why I drink beer,” Alex explained, and Brit fell against her and began laughing all over again.
Brit turned slightly and gently ran her fingers down Alex’s cheek. Shifting her face into Brit’s hand, Alex kissed the tips before she slowly lowered them back to Brit’s lap. Before either of them could speak, before Brit could close the gap between them for another kiss, they heard a key in the door and the muted tones of human voices.
Clearing her throat but not turning away from Britain, Alex announced, “We’re in here.” She sounded both disappointed and relieved that their friends had arrived.
Brit quickly distanced herself from Alex, smoothed her clothing, and then sipped her wine. Alex stood to welcome her friends.
They all exchanged hugs, Kim got a beer for both her and Alex, and Tam poured herself a glass of the cab. “How was your trip?” Tam asked. “Traffic, huh?”
“Awful,” Brit replied, “but the company was nice.”
“Hmm, so I hear. You two are dating, is that it?” she inquired, and Brit was sure she saw amusement somewhere in the depths of Tam’s eyes.
“Dating, yes. We’re going to tiptoe into this rather than run full steam.”
“Kind of like what we’re doing,” Kim interjected.
“Yes, exactly. How’s it going for you?” Brit asked them.
“Very well. In fact, we decided to take this to the next level. We’re going away for a few days at Thanksgiving to get better acquainted.” As Tam said the words, Brit could see the color rising in Kim’s cheeks, like mercury in a meat thermometer.
“Stop pressuring me, Tam,” she interjected, and they all laughed.
“Well, let me explain,” Tam said. “When we do it, finally, we won’t be able to get out of bed for probably days. So we have to wait for a holiday, or we’ll both lose our jobs.”
“Good thinking,” Alex said, nodding as she sipped her beer. “I’ve heard of things like that happening. It could be a disaster if you don’t plan it properly.”
“Shut up, Alex,” Tam retorted as she flipped the third finger of her left hand in Alex’s general direction.
“Where’s the romance? Where’s the spontaneity?” Alex demanded.
“Oh, I promise it’ll be romantic. But as far as spontaneity goes—we don’t have time for that right now.”
“Not to change the subject, but how’s school?” Brit asked and took a sip of her wine and leaned back into the cushions.
“You won’t believe what happened to me.” Tam said.
“Do tell,” Brit replied, leaning forward.
“I was getting ready to leave school the other day and couldn’t find my phone. I looked everywhere. It was gone. So, I went onto the computer and tracked it with this app I installed. It was five miles away. I hopped in the car and went to the address, and who should answer the door but one of my students! The little bugger stole my phone. He’s only five years old.”
Brit shook her head in disbelief and Alex shrugged.
“That’s pretty cool though, that you found it. What’s that app?”
Tam promised to download it for her before they left at the end of the weekend.
They spent the next hour huddled around the coffee table, talking and laughing, until the chorus of yawns prompted Kim to suggest they call it a night. Although they’d missed the movies that night, their agenda for the next day was full, and Alex and Brit had plans for an early breakfast with Sal and Sue.
Theirs was the first room at the top of the staircase, and they all hugged good night at the door. Brit’s room was next, and she barely noticed the familiar fluttering in her chest as she anticipated kissing Alex. Since their first kiss, they’d shared a few others, but they’d been limited. She wanted more. More kisses, more everything. Thoughts of this moment had occupied her mind since they’d decided to come to Rehoboth. What if Alex asked to come into her room? What if she didn’t? Brit didn’t know which thought scared her more. Yet she’d never been happier. “I’ve had a wonderful evening,” she whispered.
Alex was standing a foot back, but then she smiled and opened her arms and pulled Brit into a tight hug. “You’re a fun date, Coach Dodge,” she said in a teasing tone. Then she pulled back so they could look at each other.
Brit craned her neck and her eyes met Alex’s before wandering lower to her lips. They were full, and wet from the tongue Alex had just run across them. With her eyes still focused on her mouth, Brit pulled Alex’s head lower until their lips were touching. Alex brushed her lips back and forth across Brit’s, barely touching, creating incredible sensations of tingling and pleasure. Then she pulled closer and their lips closed in on each other’s, and their tongues met again.
And then, just as suddenly, Alex pulled back, placing her fingers where her mouth had just been. “Good night, beautiful lady,” she said before she turned and walked eight feet down the hall to her own bedroom door.
Alex held onto the door frame with one hand, and with the other, she waved.
Britain stood watching, then waved with a simple flick of
her wrist and let her hand hang suspended in midair, as if awaiting something more.
“Good night.”
*
The morning was bright and sunny, and Britain was dressed and waiting when Alex descended to the kitchen at seven thirty.
“How was your sleep?” Brit asked.
“Wonderful. How about yours?” Alex leaned against the counter, looking sexy in jeans and a sweatshirt, and Brit nearly forgot the question before she could formulate the answer.
“Um, okay,” Brit said. In truth, sleep had come slowly as she wrestled with the knowledge that Alex was only a few feet away.
Alex didn’t seem to notice the hesitancy of her answer, and Brit was grateful. What could she say? I couldn’t sleep because I was wondering what you were wearing? If I had come to your room would you have made love to me?
“Okay, then, let’s get movin’.”
Alex drove, heading north out of Oyster Bay and west on Route 24, toward the Delaware farmlands. Traffic was sparse and they made the trip easily, then found Sal and Sue awaiting them at the door.
After sharing hugs, they retreated to the living room. Looking at the leather club chairs, Brit remembered her first visit here—talking to Alex, seeing her smile, thinking how attractive she was. They’d arrived separately that day, but this time they walked through the door side by side, and it felt perfect.
“So, thanks for bringing winter with you!” Sal said.
“Sal, be nice. How was the drive?” Sue asked.
“Uggh,” Alex replied.
Sue grinned. “Yeah, I kind of remember that. I’m glad I live at the beach now and don’t have to risk my life every weekend commuting.”
“Maybe someday,” Alex said.
Sal answered this time. “I won’t say I don’t miss teaching. Especially at this time of year when the season’s so full of promise.”