“And that was it?” Casey asked. She couldn’t believe there hadn’t been a dark period in his life, after losing his child and his marriage.
“What else was there? We married for the baby’s sake, but with nothing other than that to hold us together, the marriage couldn’t survive.”
“And life just went on? There were no regrets on either side?”
Jess drained the last of his tea. “Casey, this was no Cinderella story. It was a giant mistake that I’ll never make again, and I learned.a lot from it. But regrets?” Jess’s voice dropped, serious once more. “The only person with regrets was Cy. It nearly destroyed him when she broke the engagement... but I honestly thought he’d gotten over it. He was dating another woman, telling everyone that he must have been nuts to fall for Lydia in the first place, so...”
He hesitated, then continued. “I didn’t know he was still in love with her until I told him she was pregnant and we were getting married. Cy just walked away. I tried to patch things up—tried again when Lydia and I called it quits. But he couldn’t get past my touching her.”
A depressing weight had settled in Casey’s chest. Because tonight at Dusty’s, seeing the redheaded woman draped all over Jess, she’d finally admitted that her feelings for him went well beyond jealousy. Those intense feelings of caring had been the catalyst for her returning his kisses so ardently, wanting so desperately to make love with him.
But she couldn’t sleep with a man who still had feelings for another woman. “So... what happened to Lydia?” she asked hesitantly. “Do you still hear from her?”
“After five years?” Jess shook his head. “No, we made a clean break of it. She’s remarried now, to the editor of the paper she went to work for. I guess she’s the lady of the manor now. Which was what she’d always wanted, despite the fact that she got sidetracked for a while—first with Cy, then with me. For a few months, she almost had herself convinced that she could be content here. But people can’t escape who and what they are. And they shouldn’t try.” His gaze met hers for a moment, giving Casey the impression that his message applied to her, too. Then he glanced up at the sky, and moonlight illuminated his sober features. “So now you know the whole story. Cy hates me because I betrayed our friendship. I destroyed his life.”
“No, you didn’t,” she replied kindly. She wouldn’t debate Jess’s claim that people couldn’t change, even though she believed anything was possible if you wanted it badly enough. But she refused to believe that he had destroyed his friend’s life. “The fault was Cy’s, for not being able to accept that we can’t always have the things we want in life. And maybe Lydia’s, too, for agreeing to Cy’s proposal before she was sure she could love the man, flaws and all.”
And that was something Casey suddenly knew a great deal about. Because looking back now, she should never have married Dane. He had been a father figure, a brilliant surgeon, a man she loved and respected. But she had never been in love with him—and he had deserved better than that. She regretted that, somehow, he had known. No wonder he’d tried so hard to buy her affection with beautiful things and expensive trips.
Jess pushed away from the support post. “It’s getting late. Maybe we should get some sleep.”
Casey nodded, knowing that sleep was the only thing he was suggesting. The flames that had roared through their veins and catapulted them into each other’s arms earlier tonight had been banked for the moment. It was understood that the physical attraction was still there—that he still wanted her, and she still wanted him. But making love was a celebration of the senses and the spirit, and if they slept together tonight, the experience might have been less.
Jess followed Casey inside, and at the base of the staircase, he tipped her face up to his and kissed her softly. “As for our being together... you make the decision. I’ve pretty much told you that I’m a bust at long-term relationships. It’s nothing I’ll ever try again. You need to understand that.”
An hour later, Casey was curled up in the bentwood rocker beside her bedroom window, listening to Jess’s restless movements coming from the next room. There was a thud as a book or something hit the floor, then the rustle of blinds and the forceful squee of the wood-framed window being shoved open. His headboard thumped against the plaster wall between their rooms as he flopped back down on his bed.
This was such a mess. All she had wanted to do after that gentle kiss in the foyer was step into his arms and hold him until the morning. Jess was troubled and unhappy, and she was troubled and unhappy, and a little closeness would have been so good for the soul. But indecision had sent her upstairs to her own room. No matter how much she had tried to put it out of her mind, the fact remained that he’d called for Lydia five years after they separated. But why? Why would he do that, if he and Lydia had made a clean break, had no regrets and had married only because of the baby?
Casey stared out at the extraordinary landscape before her. The steep, craggy ridges of the Rockies, the dark Douglas firs creeping up the granite mountainside, the cloudless sky with stars so far-flung it seemed the entire universe hovered beyond her window.
It made no sense, it defied all logic, and it was truly incomprehensible that this could have happened. But in less than two months, she’d fallen in love with this land.
As she’d fallen in love with Jess.
Chills ran the length of her body with the realization and, swallowing, Casey clamped the arms of the rocker and pushed herself to her feet.
Without any fanfare, without any conscious direction, her decision had been made for her. It didn’t matter that he had called Lydia’s name in his sleep. There were a thousand reasons for that happening—one of them the possibility that meeting Casey that night had sparked memories of another city-bred woman. But if she’d interpreted his words correctly, Lydia was a woman Jess had tried to love—and failed to. There was room in his heart for Casey, if he would only let her in.
Walking to the white-painted door, Casey faced the absurd wooden barrier that hadn’t been strong enough to keep love away. Somehow it had crept under the crack... penetrated the keyhole...eased around the hinges and made itself known. Yes, she loved him. And she knew that in spite of himself—whether Jess believed it or not—if he didn’t feel the same, he would in time. It was in the air they breathed now; he had no choice but to draw it in.
Casey opened the door and stepped into his room. Four feet to her left, leaning against the headboard, Jess lay atop the wrinkled bedclothes, his long, hard muscles and taut abdomen clearly defined in the shifting play of moonlight and shadow.
An electric tension drove the moisture from Casey’s throat as his dark gaze met and held hers. Then she walked the remaining few paces to his bed, the breeze from the open window skimming her bare legs beneath her dorm shirt.
“I’ve thought about it,” she murmured.
Slowly, Jess rolled onto his right hip and brought his long legs over the edge of the mattress, his feet to the floor. He spoke softly, but there was a warning note in his voice, a low note of caution that told her she was wading in dangerous waters. “You have to be sure,” he said. “Because after tonight in the truck, it’s going to be very hard for me to stop if you change your mind.”
“I’m not going to change my mind,” she said. “I want you to make love to me.”
And the die was cast. Jess stood, and she went into his arms, giving him all of herself, without reservation. They kissed hungrily, straining for closer contact. “What do you want?” he gasped through a shudder when they came up for air. “Tell me. I’ve wanted you for so long, I...I don’t want to scare you.”
She could feel the coiled readiness in his limbs, sense the restraint that kept him from throwing her down on the bed and pressing her deep into the mattress. Casey began to tremble with the understanding that Jess’s brand of lovemaking would be more demanding than the gentle trysts she’d known with Dane. But her heart was racing and her blood was on fire, and she couldn’t back away. “Ever
ything,” she whispered, curling her needy fingers into the dark hair at his nape. “I want everything that it means to be with you.”
Then his mouth was back on hers again, the faint scrape of his beard waking Casey to his masculine scent and the wondrous textures of his body. She was warm, melted butter when they finally separated and he settled his hands on her hips.
Jess drew a tattered breath and eased back on the edge of the bed. Then he guided her into the spread of his legs. “Stand still,” he whispered.
Warm, callused hands raised gooseflesh on her skin as Jess slid them up under her dorm shirt, then hooked his thumbs around her wispy lace panties and dragged them down and off. Then, with exquisite slowness, he moved those big hands over her. The air left Casey’s lungs, and it was agony to do what he wanted, to just stand there. Because, though the moonlight streaming through the window lent enough light for her to see his chiseled features and powerful frame, Jess seemed to want to know her body by touch.
He spanned her small waist, smoothed the flare of her hips, moved to the low curve of her bottom. His hands moved lower still to skim her thighs. Cases faint trembling deteriorated into shudders as Jess’s thumbs made slow, maddening circles on her skin, skirting, but never reaching, the place that ached for his attention. Then, when it seemed he knew almost every inch of her, he unbuttoned the long placket front of her dorm shirt and slid it down over her shoulders to the floor.
Jess buried his face in her breasts, nuzzling, kissing, sliding his tongue over her nipples and kissing down to her belly. Casey wobbled on rubbery legs and clung to him for dear life. She held his head against her waist, shivering at the feel of his mouth on her, loving the silky texture of his hair against the undersides of her breasts. And suddenly it was too much, and not enough.
She pushed him back on the mattress. Jess took her with him, rolling her into the center of the mussed bed, where they lay facing each other. Then her very patient lover lost all patience.
He kissed her deeply, shoving his tongue past her lips and teeth, thrusting and plundering her mouth until soft sounds of pleasure issued from Casey’s throat and she met him stroke for stroke. In a heartbeat, any control they had was gone. He pulled away and moved down to her throat, rubbing his lips over the throbbing pulse point in her neck, laving the crest of her breast, and then coming back to her lips once more. Soon there was so much raw need and desperation thundering in Casey’s ears, she could scarcely hear.
Jess nudged a leg between hers, and the hard ridge of his arousal pressed against her belly. Instinctively her hips tipped up to him, and they moved together in the first tantalizing prelude to coupling. Then he was kissing her again, driving her wild with his tongue and his hands.
Casey tore her mouth from his, gulping air, every nerve ending in her body curling in on itself. Her hands shook as she urged his lean flanks closer. “Jess, now,” she whispered. “I can’t wait.”
“This isn’t the way it was supposed to go,” he whispered back. “I wanted to make it good for you, wanted to make it last.”
“We’ll make it last the next time,” she insisted.
Jess rolled away from her and grabbed a foil packet from the night stand, ripped it open and took care of their precautions. Then he stretched out alongside her, hooked her right leg over his left hip and, with a low, shuddering sigh, buried himself in her warmth.
Casey’s eyes closed as he filled her, and her greedy muscles contracted around him. Then she forced her eyes open so that she could see his lean, beautiful face, watch the heavy-lidded pleasure she brought to him. It was a sight that only increased the pleasure she felt herself. He began to move. Tentatively at first, then more surely, as his loving found a deep, satisfying rhythm. He was gazing into her eyes, too, murmuring sweet words, even as that roaring began in Casey’s ears again, drowning out every trembling syllable.
They were climbing up the sun-spangled face of a mountain, pushing past sheer granite cliffs to the warm, swirling thermals where hawks dipped and soared like dust motes dancing in sunlight A shuddering began deep inside her.
Casey closed her eyes and burrowed into the crook of his neck and shoulder. In the part of her mind that was still functioning, she wondered if this feeling actually existed outside of romance novels and steamy movies? In the next breath, she knew it must, because the sun began to glow behind her closed eyelids and an almost frightening heat suffused her limbs. She began to tremble in earnest, meet his powerful body in earnest. And when she uttered a small cry, Jess covered her mouth with his, stealing her air, magnifying the sweet sensations spiraling through her.
Then, in a radiant burst of color, they were there, laughing, gasping, kissing and holding each other until their passions were spent and they finally lay sweat-drenched and sated in each other’s arms.
When his breathing had finally returned to some semblance of normalcy, Jess stroked Casey’s hair and murmured softly against her forehead. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Casey threaded her fingers through his chest hair, blissfully contented and loving him more deeply than before. Because she was almost thirty-two years old and this was the first time she’d ever experienced the joyful, soul-soaring weightlessness of orgasm. How perfect that Jess had been the man to give her this gift.
“Of course you didn’t hurt me,” she assured him through a sleepy sigh. “You were wonderful.” But in the next moment, she considered his question again and was suddenly afraid she had behaved inappropriately at that boneless moment of release. “Jess? Was I too—Did I... participate too much?”
Groggy laughter bathed her ear, and Jess nuzzled a kiss to her temple. “I’m no expert, but I don’t think it’s possible to participate too much. Why would you think that?”
Her face grew warm. “Because that’s never happened for me before.”
Lifting himself onto an elbow, Jess smoothed back her hair and studied her. “Not ever?”
She shook her head.
“Then that means I’m your first,” he whispered. And even in the semidarkness, she could see the warm, satisfied glow in his eyes. He kissed her softly, and when their lips parted, there was a quiet smile on his face. “That also means you have a lot of catching up to do.”
The breeze through the window coaxed Casey awake, and she stretched her spine along the mattress. The muzzy effects of last night’s lovemaking brought a smile to her lips. Eyes closed, she reached across the rumpled covers for Jess, wanting to experience again the warmth of his arms... the rich, dizzying climb and release of coupling as nature intended.
But instead of touching firm, taut skin, her hand found a tangled clump of sheets. Disappointed, Casey sat up quickly. He was gone? But how could he have left without saying anything? Without kissing her goodbye?
Then, with a jolt, she realized that bright sunshine was streaming through the window. Casey shot a look at the clock on the night stand. And was alternately stunned by the time—eleven-thirty!—and warmed by the note beside it:
Tried to wake you a couple of times but you were out like a light. I have to take a quick trip to town, then do some work on the irrigation lines. Should be back by five o’clock. Don’t cook.
He’d finished with “You’re wonderful” and signed it “J”.
Gooseflesh peppered her arms, and Casey’s heart swelled in the breezy quiet of Jess’s bedroom. He thought she was wonderful. “Yeah?” she whispered. “Well, I think you’re pretty wonderful, too.”
Pressing a kiss to the note, she slipped her unbuttoned dorm shirt over her head and carried the note into the bathroom. Small wonder she hadn’t been able to wake up. An airy tickle curled like smoke behind her navel as she remembered that incredible first time...and the second...and that exquisite, soul-milking third time that had left her limp and exhausted, and pleading, “Enough!” through her breathy laughter.
Casey’s smile grew as she laid the note on the sink, shed her nightie, then turned on the shower spray and stepped behin
d the curtain. She’d never known this feeling of being in love before, never known this glorious feeling that even if the world stopped spinning, it would be all right, as long as she was in Jess’s arms.
Then, for some unknown reason—maybe the fact that she was just too happy for her own good—something dark shivered through her and she squeezed the shampoo bottle she held in a death grip. Oh, please, she prayed, suddenly afraid. Please don’t let anything happen to spoil this.
It was ten minutes to five when Casey heard Jess pull in and start up the porch steps. With a buoyant smile, she raced from the kitchen to the foyer and sailed into his arms the moment his boots cleared the threshold. “You remembered!” she cried happily. Then she kissed him soundly, the way a woman in love kissed her man.
This morning, when she finally made it downstairs to the kitchen, she’d been surprised and delighted to see a pretty carafe of hot coffee beside her breakfast place setting—and on her plate, a Hershey bar with almonds. Her mind had reeled back to the night she told Jess how much she’d loved her dad—and how her father had always made sure there were plenty of Hershey bars in the house, because they were Casey’s favorite. To anyone else, the gesture might not have been all that important. But to Casey, it was yet another expression of the love that was growing in Jess. A love he was still afraid to acknowledge, but was there, just the same.
Jess broke from the kiss first, groaning deep in his throat. “Mmm, nice. But save it until I grab a shower. I smell like my horse.”
“I saved half of my candy bar for you,” she said happily. “And I don’t care if you smell.”
“Well, I do.” He pried her away from him and plopped his black Stetson on her head. “And thank you, but there was no need to share your candy. Cupboard’s full of them. I bought every Hershey bar Aunt Ruby had in her case this morning. ”
Accidental Heiress Page 16