Suzie blinked. ‘Well, no, but I’ll keep him outside when you’re here.’
‘Gee, thanks.’ Jess stared at her and, standing up, went to the door. ‘Now I know where I come on your list of priorities,’ she said and left, tears filling her eyes as she got into her car and drove away.
Jess was trying her damnedest to write a funny piece on dating when her phone buzzed. Her heart sank when she saw it was a text from Louis. She’d noticed that they were getting less loving and more demanding. When would he give up? The only ones she’d responded to were work-related and, as a result, he’d criticised the last two pieces she’d sent in and used them as an excuse to drag her into the office to ‘discuss’ them. On both occasions it had been late in the evenings when there were few staff around and he’d sat too close, brushing against her at every opportunity.
‘You know you want me as much as I want you, Jess,’ he’d said the last time. She couldn’t believe the risks he was taking. Anyone who saw them would know damn well what was going on or what wasn’t. Either way, she’d be labelled. She’d have to stop it, stop him, but she had no idea how to without jeopardising her position. The obvious answer was to stop writing for the Gazette but as Louis was the only one giving her the chance to write articles on politics and current affairs she was loathe to do that. Why should she lose everything just because he wanted her? And was it her imagination, or did he want her more since they’d been found out? Did he get some kick out of the dangerous position he was in? She sighed, knowing that if he didn’t back off she’d have no other choice but to walk away.
In the old days she’d have gone to her mother for advice. Yes, Mum would have been upset and disappointed at Jess having got herself into this mess but she would had counselled and advised her. Now, Jess could just imagine the tongue-lashing she’d get – you made your bed, et cetera. While her mother was telling everyone exactly what she thought of them, they were all pussyfooting around her, pretending that everything was fine. But it wasn’t. Nora was right. Maybe they should tell her that.
Jess had tried to talk to Noel about it, but he seemed to be in a world of his own at the moment and waved away her concerns. He didn’t see the changes that she and Sharon did. Her little sister had been reduced to tears a few times lately but, then, it was worse for her. Not only had she lost her mother and friend, but Bobby had lost his doting granny too. Not that the child seemed bothered. Like so many at that age, he seemed to be in a world of his own half the time and, once engrossed in one of his toys, he wouldn’t even react when he was called. But Suzie had gone from fussing over the child and excusing his behaviour to being positively nasty and Sharon was distraught.
Jess found herself in an increasingly pivotal position in the family dynamic, comforting Sharon, showering Bobby with more love than she ever had before, and keeping tabs on Noel. She’d gone from being daughter to carer and now to mother.
Most of the time Jess had been able to keep on Mum’s good side although it was hard work. But, since Mum had seen her with Louis, things had gone steadily downhill. Though she’d forgiven Jess, her mother still seemed angry and would attack her, out of the blue, for no apparent reason.
Tears welled up in Jess’s eyes, blurring the words on the screen. Her phone rang and with a tired sigh, she sniffed back her tears and answered it. ‘Hello, Jess Connors?’ she said, trying to sound upbeat and professional. She hadn’t looked at the display and there was a good chance it was Amelia, Beth or Jordan, her other editors.
‘Hi, hon.’
She smiled, relieved to hear Katie’s bubbly voice. ‘Hey, Katie, how are you?’
‘Busy. Are you going to Jen’s party?’
‘I don’t think so. I’ve a lot on.’ Jess did not feel in a party mood.
‘Is it your mum? I thought she was better now.’
Jess was filled with guilt at the sympathy in her friend’s voice. She hadn’t told Katie anything about Louis, letting her believe the reason she wasn’t available much was all down to her mum but now she needed to confide in her. Maybe Katie would have some suggestions as to how Jess could extricate herself from this mess with the minimum amount of disruption to her career or income. ‘She’s fine but we need to keep an eye on her, you know? And Noel’s exams start next week, so he’s got too much on his plate to be much help.’
‘Yeah, well, you’ve a lot on your plate, too,’ Katie argued. ‘Don’t put everyone else first, Jess, not all the time.’
Jess’s guilt mounted. ‘Should you be going partying, miss? Don’t you have exams to prepare for?’ Katie worked as a receptionist in an accountancy firm but had found she liked working with numbers and had gone back to study accountancy at night.
‘Excuse me, I am completely organised. I have a strict schedule. If I get four hours’ revision done this evening and six tomorrow, I’ll have earned a night out. I’ve also scheduled in coffee to sober me up on Sunday. Meet me then, at least, usual place?’
‘Yeah, I’d like that,’ Jess said.
‘You sure you’re okay?’
Jess smiled at the concern in her voice. ‘Yes, I’m tired, that’s all.’
They said their goodbyes and Jess turned her attention back to the blank screen. Her guilty feelings at lying to her friend were interrupted by the buzz of her phone. She picked it up again and froze when she saw the caller. He never phoned unless it was about work, so, taking a deep breath, she answered.
‘Louis, hi.’
‘Hey, sweetheart. A client just cancelled, I thought we could get together.’
Jess sank back in her chair feeling weary. ‘Louis, I’ve told you, it’s over.’
‘I need to talk to you, it’s important, Jess. I could be there in thirty minutes. Do you want the job or not?’
Job? She frowned, hesitating. His tone was very brisk and professional. Was this really a business call?
‘Look, forget it, I’ll give it to someone else. It’s just you’re always saying that you want to write pieces on politics—’
‘No, it’s fine,’ she said hurriedly. ‘I can drop in to you if you want.’
‘I’m not in the office. I’ll see you soon.’ Louis said, a smile in his voice, and hung up, leaving her wondering if she’d been out-manoeuvred.
Jess paced nervously as she waited for him, pausing at the window from time to time. She jumped when the doorbell rang, and taking a deep breath, she smoothed back her hair and hurried down to let him in. She opened her mouth to say hello only to find herself slammed against the wall, Louis’s hand closing round her throat.
‘You haven’t been answering my texts, Jess.’
‘Louis!’ she gasped, shocked by the attack and the crazed look in his eyes. ‘Stop, you’re hurting me.’ She thought of banging on the wall for her landlady and then remembered that she was away.
‘Why aren’t you answering my texts?’ he repeated, his voice low and intense.
She mustn’t panic, she must calm Louis down and convince him that she would play along, at least until he loosened his grip. Then she’d . . . Well, she didn’t know what she’d do. Despite the fact that she could barely breathe, she forced herself to answer. ‘You lied to me, Louis. I thought that I meant more to you.’
The pressure eased off on her neck and his expression softened.
‘Sweetheart, you know it’s you that I want.’ His hands moved down over her body. ‘I can’t get enough of you.’ He leaned in to kiss her, pulling her against the length of his body.
‘Let’s go upstairs.’ She reached around him to supposedly close the front door, intending to make a run for it but his arm shot out, barring her way.
‘Let me, darling.’
‘Hi, Jess. Am I too early?’
Jess looked up in surprise and relief when she saw who was standing on her doorstep, his steely gaze on Louis. It was Cal, Noel’s friend, happily a rather tall, broad-shouldered and intimidating figure who easily moved Louis’s hand and placed himself between the two of them. Jess thought quickly. ‘Cal,
hey, how’s it going? Sorry, I’d completely forgotten you were coming. This is Louis Healy, editor at the Gazette.’ She met Louis’s eyes and gave an apologetic shrug.
‘Am I interrupting? Only you said you were interested in writing that article for me and I’m a bit short on time.’
‘No, please come in, Cal,’ she said, aware of the tremor in her voice. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Louis? This was a prior engagement that I forgot.’ She forced herself to meet his eyes.
Louis gave a grim smile and nodded. ‘Business is business. Give me a shout if you want to talk about the political piece. I want it by this Friday so time’s ticking.’
What piece? she wondered, hesitating then realising it was probably just a line. ‘I really appreciate it,’ she gushed and put a gentle hand on his arm.
Slightly mollified, he nodded, glared at Cal and left. She immediately closed the door and almost collapsed against it, breathing heavily.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah, thanks. What are you doing here?’ Not that she was complaining: his timing couldn’t have been better. Cal McLoughlin was the first friend Noel had made when they’d moved up to Dublin. He’d lived round the corner and, although he was six years older, he had taken pity on the obviously devastated young boy and befriended Noel and they’d remained firm friends ever since. Jess used to have quite a crush on the boy with the floppy, dirty-blond hair and hazel eyes but, sadly, he’d always treated her like a sister.
‘I’ll explain that in a moment but first let’s get you a cuppa. You look like you could do with it. Then you can tell me what the story is with that asshole.’
And, as they sat in her tiny kitchen with mugs of tea, Jess surprised herself by doing exactly that. Cal didn’t interrupt or advise but just nodded encouragement when she faltered, his eyes soft with kindness and concern. If only her own family were as easy to talk to.
‘I know I was stupid,’ she said, when she’d finished her rather sordid little story. ‘I should have realised he was only after one thing. We never went on a proper date. He said that he was protecting me, that his staff wouldn’t take me seriously if they knew I was dating the editor.’
‘You weren’t stupid: you were trusting and there are plenty of middle-aged men these days who are, genuinely, separated or divorced.’
‘I wish Mum saw it that way,’ Jess said, still smarting from her mother’s reaction. ‘She hardly talks to me these days and, when she does, it’s usually to make cheap shots. Even Noel’s annoyed with me. I’m surprised you’re visiting the pariah of the family,’ she joked.
‘I doubt Noel’s mood has anything to do with you.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m worried about him, Jess.’
‘Why?’ Jess was immediately on alert. Cal wasn’t an alarmist and he’d never approached her about her brother before. ‘Is he in some kind of trouble?’
‘I’m not sure but I’ve never seen him so withdrawn. I could understand that when your mum was in hospital, but not now.’
‘The pressure of the exams coming up must be getting to him.’
‘Maybe,’ Cal said, but he didn’t seem convinced.
‘Did you talk to him?’
He gave a lopsided grin. ‘I tried but he blew me off. When you graduate in psychology, friends start to get a little nervous round you, wondering if you’re analysing them all the time.’
‘I can imagine.’ She smiled, immediately wondering what he thought of her.
He met her eyes. ‘Just like you’re doing right now.’
She laughed. ‘Guilty. So, what do you want me to do?’
‘Have a chat. He might open up to you.’
‘If he doesn’t talk to you, he’ll hardly talk to me, especially now that I’m a fallen woman.’
‘Tell him it was a mistake and that you’re upset about falling out with your mum and need his help to patch things up.’
Noel was soft and Jess knew that he would help her if she asked, but she still didn’t think it would mean he’d unburden himself to her. ‘You know him well, Cal. What do you think is wrong?’
He shrugged and shook his head. ‘I’m not sure but I think it’s related in some way to your mum. If you ask the right questions, you might get to the bottom of what’s bothering him.’
She looked at him. He was a good friend to them all and his request couldn’t be taken lightly. ‘I’ll talk to him.’
‘Thanks, Jess.’ he smiled.
‘He’s lucky to have such a good friend.’
‘He’s been a good friend to me too,’ he assured her. ‘You all have.’
‘That’s not the way I remember it.’ She smiled at him. ‘Instead of being out having a good time with kids your own age, you were always in our house and you brought Noel out of himself.’
Cal looked at her. ‘Your house was my refuge. I came over to escape my folks’ rows.’
Jess stared at him. ‘I didn’t know.’
‘But your mum did. She knew that they were using me as a pawn and it was tearing me apart. They didn’t like me spending so much time at your place but Suzie told them how much it was helping Noel to get over the death of his father so, what could they say? I owe her a lot.’
Jess felt sad as she too remembered how strong and kind her mum had been during those dark, difficult day when Sharon and Noel were so upset. Jess had been almost sixteen and, never having been particularly close to her dad, had adjusted more easily to their change in circumstances.
Cal stood up. ‘I’ll leave you to it. Promise me you won’t put yourself in a position where you’re alone with that man again.’
Jess sighed. ‘I’ll do my best, but he’s holding my job over my head.’
‘You write for plenty of publications, Jess.’
‘I do, but not the sort of articles I want. Louis gives me topics I can really get my teeth into.’
‘But at a price,’ he pointed out.
‘True,’ Jess said and walked down with him to the door. ‘I’ll give you a call when I’ve talked to Noel.’
‘Great, thanks. And remember: any problems with that guy, call me.’
‘I will,’ Jess promised and smiled as he gave her a quick hug and strode off down the road.
Chapter Thirteen
Sharon tensed when she heard the door and, after checking that Bobby was engrossed in his movie, went into the kitchen to take Keith’s dinner out of the oven. She was leaving it on the table and going back to rejoin her son when Keith walked into the room.
‘Please, Sharon, stop this.’
‘Stop what?’ she asked. He looked sad and tired and she wanted to go to him but she also wanted him to reach out to his son and, until he did, she couldn’t forgive him.
‘The silent treatment.’
She met his eyes. ‘I don’t know what to say. Between you and Mum, I feel as if Bobby and I are always under attack.’
‘Don’t lump me in with your mother,’ he protested.
‘True, she can’t help the way she speaks to me,’ Sharon snapped, ‘but you can.’
‘I do try but I get so frustrated that I can’t get through to Bobby.’
‘You won’t get anywhere by shouting at him or sitting on top of him,’ she retorted.
‘I’m sorry about that. Please, Sharon. I can’t stand this atmosphere any more.’
‘Me neither,’ she admitted, tears welling up. Immediately his arms went round her and she snuggled into him. ‘Sometimes I wish Mum had died. Can you believe that, Keith? Isn’t that a terrible thing to say?’ The tears spilled out onto her cheeks and his shirt. ‘I feel so guilty about feeling that way but I can’t help it. That injury seems to have knocked all the love out of her. Sometimes I think she hates me and she definitely hates Bobby.’
Keith’s arms tightened round her. ‘Of course she doesn’t. We have to make allowances for her. There are some things she simply doesn’t seem to understand anymore.’
Sharon couldn’t stop crying. It was
as if the floodgates had opened.
‘It will be okay, darling, I promise you.’ He stroked her hair and rocked her as if she were a small child.
‘How?’ she sobbed. There was a roar from the next room and, with a tired sigh, Sharon pulled away.
‘Wait.’ Keith held her firmly and looked into her eyes. ‘We will sort this but we can’t talk here. We need to get away from the house for a few hours and have a proper chat about Bobby. I’m sure there are options open to us.’
Sharon wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that. Options? What options? She thought of what the teacher had said, what she had withheld from Keith, and shivered.
‘Your mum says she’ll babysit any time we need a break.’
Sharon stared at him, incredulous. ‘My mum? You think I’d leave him with her?’
‘Oh, come on, Sharon, she’s looked after him lots of times and he’s been fine.’
‘I don’t trust her with him, that’s the honest truth.’
‘She would never hurt him.’ Keith’s jaw clenched and he looked at her, his eyes determined. ‘We’re going out and your mother is going to babysit and that’s an end to it.’
Sharon remained stiff as a board in his arms, her eyes stubborn. ‘Only after Bobby’s asleep.’
He sighed, nodding. ‘Fine, once he’s asleep.’
Sharon couldn’t bring herself to phone her mother to ask for the favour, so Keith did it. Suzie agreed but she still wasn’t happy. After she’d taken Bobby to school the next morning, she called her sister. Jess picked up straightaway and answered, sounding bright and breezy.
‘Hey, Shaz, how are you feeling?’
‘Fine, thanks. You’re sounding very chirpy this morning.’
‘Yeah, I feel it. I was up at seven working on an article and I’m actually ahead of all my deadlines this week which makes a pleasant change.’
Sharon hadn’t even loaded the washing machine yet and her sister’s cheerful voice made her feel inadequate. ‘Good for you,’ she said, trying to inject some enthusiasm into her voice. ‘Does that mean you could come over for a coffee and a chat?’ Sharon realised that she was holding her breath.
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