‘Mum!’ Sharon hissed again. ‘Stop it – now.’
Jess stood up and faced her. ‘Yes, Mum, stop it. You’re not doing Sharon any good. If you have anything to say to me, at least have the decency to leave her out of it, instead of attacking me in a hospital ward.’
Suzie was suddenly conscious of the silence from the other patients in the room and Sharon’s face, crimson with embarrassment. Suzie looked back at Jess, who was glaring at her from cold, hard eyes, her mouth set in a grim line. Lovely Jess, who was always smiling and kind, who’d sat by her hospital bed every day.
‘Go home, Mum,’ Sharon said.
Suzie met her eyes and saw the same coldness there.
‘Go on, I’ll call you later,’ Sharon added, her voice softer.
Suzie looked round the room and watched the occupants hastily avert their eyes. She looked back at Jess, but she’d turned her back on her mother and now sat on the bed by her little sister, who took her hand and squeezed it. Suzie felt like the outsider and realised she’d overstepped some mark. Yet again. She didn’t understand how; she’d only spoken her mind. ‘You know where I am if you need me.’ Suzie’s smile faltered when neither of them replied. ‘Take care, then,’ she said, with forced cheerfulness and, ignoring the curious stares, walked the length of the ward and out of the door, shaken by the joint dismissal by her daughters. Why would they turn on her like that? Maybe she’d been hard on Jess, but it was only because she loved her and didn’t want to see her waste herself on a scumbag and get a bad reputation. Then, no matter how talented she was or how hard she worked, people would always think she’d risen through the ranks on her back rather than her own two feet. Was it wrong that she cared about that? Wasn’t it her duty as a mother to try to do the best for her child?
Suzie felt confused and cross but was surprised, on the bus home, to find her cheeks wet with tears.
Chapter Sixteen
Four days later, the obstetrician smiled at Sharon and Keith and disappeared through the split in the curtains. Sharon put her head in her hands and groaned. She felt the bed give as her husband sat down beside her and stroked her hair.
‘Hey, this is good news, you’re coming home.’
‘Yeah, to go to bed.’
‘Stop exaggerating. You just have to take it easy.’
‘How am I supposed to do that?’ She heard her own voice rising and took a deep breath. The doctors and nurses had made it clear that her stress and anxiety would hurt her and the baby and, though the news of her pregnancy had come as a shock, once she got used to the idea, she was quite excited about it. She stroked her still-flat stomach. ‘Sorry, Baby. Mummy’s sorry.’
Keith lifted her chin and smiled at her. ‘We’ll figure it out. Hey, we’ve a new baby on the way.’
His eyes shone with happiness and Sharon gave a grudging smile. ‘Yeah.’
He leaned forward and brushed his mouth against hers in the softest of kisses. ‘Everything will be perfect.’
‘But how will we manage? I’m not allowed to drive or carry anything heavy. I have to rest for a couple of hours during the day.’ Panic threatened and she kept rubbing her tummy, willing herself to stay calm.
‘I told you, we’ll work it out. I can drop Bobby to school and we could arrange for him to go to the after-school club at the crèche next door until I’m finished work.’
‘No. That would be a disaster. Not only would we be changing his whole routine, he’d have to deal with lots of different adults and children, all strangers. You know he couldn’t cope with that.’ She could see Keith fighting to hold in his frustration but she wouldn’t give in on this. She knew that it was wrong for Bobby and would be a huge setback in their son’s development.
‘We don’t have many options, sweetheart. My mother has her hands full looking after Dad, or you know that she’d be happy to help.’
‘I know that,’ Sharon assured him. Neither of Keith’s parents were in good health and certainly wouldn’t be able to cope with Bobby.
Keith looked at her, his eyes beseeching. ‘We need your Mum, Sharon. We need to get past whatever is going on between her and Jess and do what’s best for our family.’
She knew that he was right, but the thought of entrusting Bobby to her mother’s care still scared the hell out of her. She needed to have some control, some way to keep a tight rein on her mother. She’d been a great mum to them, so surely, somewhere beneath this new, hard shell, the softer woman was still in there. Sharon finally met her husband’s eyes. ‘If she does it, she does it in our house, where I can keep an eye on her.’
‘Absolutely not. You would never relax. Every time you heard her raise her voice you’d be running down to check up on her. He goes to your mum’s house. I know it’s not an ideal solution but it’s all we’ve got.’
Sharon closed her eyes and racked her brain for a better one, but she felt so incredibly tired, and it would be a relief to let someone else take control for a while. She nodded in resignation. ‘Okay, but we need to put some controls in place.’
‘Controls?’
‘We need to explain the situation to Bobby’s teacher so that she can watch out for any change in his behaviour.’
He nodded. ‘Makes sense.’
‘And I’ll ask Jess to drop in from time to time to keep an eye on Mum.’
‘Remember, Noel lives there too,’ he pointed out.
Sharon brightened. She was pretty sure that Noel’s exams ended next week and he’d be free for the summer. ‘That’s true. We could give him a few quid to hang around and keep an eye on Mum. He’d be glad of the cash.’
Keith laughed. ‘I’d be happy to line his pockets rather than a stranger’s, and, remember, love, it’s only for four to five hours, five days a week. The rest of the time Bobby will be with us. It will all be fine, you’ll see.’
And Sharon felt herself relax for the first time. Maybe this could actually work. It might even mean that Keith would develop a better relationship with their son.
‘Get your stuff together and let’s go home, Shaz. Then I’ll go and see your mum.’
‘Shouldn’t I do it?’ Sharon asked although she had no real wish to. She hadn’t seen her mother since that dreadful scene when she’d been so awful to Jess.
‘No. You look after junior and leave your mum to me. I’ll handle it, I promise.’
Tears filled her eyes, as they did so often these days. At least now she knew the reason for them and her huge appetite. She fondled her tummy and smiled at her husband. ‘I love you.’
He hugged her. ‘I love you too.’
Suzie tutted irritably as Keith stood at the window, jangling his keys. She banged down the kettle and glared at him. ‘For fuck’s sake, will you stop fidgeting, Keith? You’re worse than Bobby.’
‘Sorry.’ He pocketed the keys and sat down at the table. ‘It’s been a difficult few days.’
Suzie put the coffee in front of him and sat down. ‘Is Sharon’s condition worse than you’re letting on?’
‘It’s probably more serious than even she realises,’ he admitted. ‘It’s not really the baby’s life they’re worried about.’
Suzie gasped. ‘What do we do?’
‘Sharon needs to be stress-free and have total rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. I wanted Bobby to go to a child-minder after school and then I’d pick him up on my way home from work, but Sharon won’t hear of it. She says changing his routine and sending him to a stranger would be even worse.’
‘I suppose that’s true,’ Suzie admitted.
‘Which is why I was hoping you would take him.’
Suzie stared at him, realising she’d completely snookered herself. She tried to come up with an excuse, but how could she say no? Her daughter’s life was at stake. If anything happened to Sharon, she’d never be able to forgive herself. It would be damn near impossible to keep her temper with the little brat, and she knew that minding him would exhaust her, but she’d just have to get on with it. There
was no other option. She took a deep breath and looked Keith in the eye. ‘Of course I will.’
‘I’m really grateful, Suzie – only there’s something else. Sharon will only agree to this if you treat Bobby . . . well, the way she does.’ He held up his hand as she opened her mouth to tell him where to go. ‘I know that you, like me, think that she’s far too soft on him. But the fact is, Suzie, if you’re hard on him and he comes home upset, then it defeats the purpose. We have to keep Sharon calm so that her blood pressure stays under control. If that means both of us biting our tongues for a few months and letting Bobby get away with murder, it’s a small price to pay for a healthy wife and baby. It would only be for a few hours, five days a week. Think you can manage that?’
Suzie thought of how she lashed out, lost her temper and swore, and felt real fear for a moment. Could she control herself? She looked up at his anxious expression as he waited for her answer. ‘I’ll do my very best, Keith. That’s all I can promise.’
‘That’s good enough for me. Thanks, Suzie. I can’t tell you what a weight you’ve taken off my shoulders.’
She looked at him, surprised to see that his eyes were bright with tears.
‘You’re a good lad, and Sharon is lucky to have you,’ she said, grudgingly when he was leaving.
‘And I’m lucky to have her and the best mother-in-law in the world.’
‘Ah, now, less of that bullshit,’ she said, flapping her hands at him. ‘When do I start?’
‘Wednesday?’
So soon? Suzie felt panicky but she managed a grim smile. ‘Grand. And you don’t need to collect Bobby from school, Keith. I’ll do it. I’m supposed to be taking exercise.’
He frowned. ‘Let me run that by the boss and I’ll get back to you. But thanks. Oh, there was one other thing. I’m pushing my luck now but can you babysit tomorrow night?’
Suzie felt herself blushing. ‘Oh, no, sorry, Keith. I’m going out.’
‘No worries, I’ll ask Jess. Bye, Suzie.’
‘Bye, love.’
Jess checked her ringing phone and let it go to voicemail. She wasn’t ready to talk to her mother yet. She was fed up of the barbs and insults and making allowances for her bad behaviour because of that brain injury. There was no reason why she had to pretend she liked the woman her mother had become. She didn’t. Mum had become an insensitive, hard bitch and that was an end to it. Jess wasn’t going to let her hurt her any more. And as Suzie was so keen on straight-talking, Jess decided, the gloves were off.
The phone rang again and, when she saw it was her sister, she answered. ‘Hi, Sharon? How are you feeling?’
‘Better, thanks. I’m home but with strict instructions to rest.’
‘I’m glad you’re home but exactly how do you get to rest when you have a child?’ Specifically Bobby. Ten minutes in his company when he was in one of his moods was exhausting.
‘I can’t, not alone,’ Sharon agreed and proceeded to tell Jess the plan. Which was all very well and Jess had offered to help, but spending time with both her nephew and Mum was asking a hell of a lot. She realised that Sharon had stopped talking and was waiting for an answer.
‘I know that you probably don’t want to see Mum at the moment, but I would feel so much better if you could drop in and out and play spy. Please?’
Jess closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the cushions. ‘Of course.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, but don’t blame me if your son is scarred for life when he sees his aunty throttle his granny.’
Sharon laughed. ‘Thanks, Jess. Thanks so much.’
She went on to tell Jess about asking Noel to help, which made sense. If they were all involved in Bobby’s care, it shortened the amount of time each of them had to spend with the child, which would make it less likely any of them would blow a fuse. She felt bad thinking that way about her nephew but it was a fact. How would Sharon cope with him when she had a baby to look after, too? Jess shuddered.
She stared at the phone in her hand and debated whether to call her mother or just drop in. They had to talk and they couldn’t do it in front of Sharon. She decided to go round there. It would be harder to say what needed saying face to face, but Jess had found out that there was more chance of getting through to Suzie if you were looking her in the eye. Not bothering with makeup, she threw on jogging pants and a hoody and tied her long hair back into a ponytail before setting off for her mother’s house. Though it was May, it was a chilly morning and she took the shortest route along the busy main road. She’d come home along the coast when it was warmer. She’d probably need the longer walk to blow off steam after this conversation.
The small house sat in a sprawling estate in Kilbarrack and, as she approached her family home, Jess noticed that the wall could do with a coat of paint, and the grass and flowerbeds were overgrown. She’d have to nag Noel to do something about it. She pulled out her keys, then hesitated. Given how strained things were at the moment, it seemed inappropriate to let herself in, so she rang the doorbell. Suzie came to the door, her face lighting up when she saw her. For an instant, Jess thought that she looked like she used to, always greeting her with a welcoming smile. Instead of the fancy tops and tight trousers she’d taken to wearing, Suzie was dressed in a warm top and comfortable jeans and, like Jess, she wore no makeup.
‘Jess, what a nice surprise. I’ve been calling you.’ There was no reproach in her voice but a wariness in her eyes. ‘Have you lost your key?’
‘No.’
Suzie frowned when she offered no explanation but didn’t comment. ‘Come on in. I’ll put on the kettle.’
Jess didn’t want tea but she went along with the ritual, perching on the edge of the chair. ‘Where’s Noel?’
‘He has his last exam today and then a few of them are going out on the town tonight. I’m so glad it’s finally over. He could do with a rest.’
‘He’ll have plenty of time to rest,’ Jess scoffed, irritated that, while her mother’s personality had changed and she was lashing out at everyone, Noel was still the blue-eyed boy. Suzie brought the tea to the table and opened a packet of chocolate biscuits. ‘You said you’ve been calling me. What was it you wanted to say?’ Jess prompted.
‘I wanted to say sorry for talking to you like that in the hospital.’
Jess shook her head. What kind of an apology was that? ‘So, you’re not sorry for what you said, just where you said it?’
Suzie looked cross. ‘Why are you trying to trip me up? You know how I feel about your relationship with Louis Healy.’
‘Now you call it a “relationship”? In the hospital I was fucking my way to the top.’
‘I never said that.’
Jess shrugged. ‘The words may have been different but your meaning was clear. It was certainly obvious to all the patients and staff on the ward.’
‘Well, I’m sorry, but I get angry every time I think of you letting that man maul you. You’re worth ten of him – no, twenty. You’re not still seeing him, are you?’
‘Frankly, it’s none of your business. I’m an adult, Mum, and I’ll do what I want, I don’t need your permission and I have no interest in your opinion.’
Suzie looked gobsmacked. She sat in silence for a long moment. ‘No, you don’t,’ she said finally, ‘but, if you have an ounce of the self-respect or integrity I believe you to, then you will stay away from him.’
Jess gave a small nod. She was not going to admit she’d broken up with Louis. Maybe it was childish but she wanted her mother to realise that she wouldn’t tolerate her interference.
‘The reason I came over is to tell you that you can’t lash out like that any more. That behaviour is completely unacceptable and it’s not good for Sharon.’ She saw her mother’s eyes widen but forced herself to continue. ‘I understand that you are thoughtless and insensitive because of your brain injury, but you have to understand how hurtful it is for us. In a way, we’ve lost our mum. Well, Sharon and I have. It s
eems Noel can do no wrong.’
‘That’s not true!’ her mother protested.
‘It is, but that’s fine. We all spoiled him. What’s not fine is the way you talk to Sharon about Bobby and the way you talk to him too.’
Suzie’s expression was stubborn. ‘I speak my mind.’
‘No one wants to hear your opinion,’ Jess said bluntly. ‘This isn’t about you, Mum. It’s not even about Bobby. Sharon’s life and the health of her baby are all that matters now. We need to work together to keep her calm and’ – she glared at her mother – ‘if that means not speaking your mind, then that’s the way it’s going to be, okay?’
Suzie stared at her, looking stunned, and finally nodded.
‘Good.’ She stood up to leave.
‘Jess?’ She paused in the doorway and looked back at her mother.
‘I’ll do my best.’
Jess gave her a grudging smile. ‘That’s all I ask.’
Strolling back along Dollymount beach, Jess felt optimistic. That had gone much better than she’d expected. To get an apology was one thing but seeing some understanding in her mother’s expression of the harm she was doing was worth so much more.
Jess thought of what lay ahead of them and sighed. How she was going to juggle her workload and help look after a child was beyond her. She often boasted that she could work from anywhere but it was impossible around Bobby. She hadn’t been the best aunt so far. She never knew what to say to the child. Her attempts to engage him were usually blanked and she’d end up putting on a kid’s movie and watching it with him, although she seemed to enjoy them more than he did.
Noel was the one who seemed best able to reach the child. Perhaps it was because he was still a big kid himself and a bit of a nerd. He didn’t try to charm or impress Bobby. He just hung out with him. Jess’s thoughts turned to Cal and the promise she’d made to check on Noel. It had gone completely out of her head since Sharon had been rushed to hospital, but she’d arrange to see him soon. Apart from sussing out if he was worried about anything, she needed to impress on him how important it was that they keep their mother under control. Jess had played down Sharon’s scare as Noel was in the middle of his exams, but, now that he was done, she could tell him the full story.
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