by Ramsey Isler
She was young. Asian like me, but maybe Korean. She had clearly been hitting the gym on a regular basis. She was solidly built, but she was still at least two inches shorter than me. I felt like I could maybe take her in a physical fight if it came to that. But there was the chance she knew taekwondo or some shit. That would be a problem.
“The infamous Kal Kai,” she said, smiling. “We’ve been looking all over for you.”
“Well you’ve found me,” I said. “Congratulations. And you would be?”
“The person who’s bringing you to face Mater,” she said.
“Ah. Well, sorry to disappoint you but I’ve met her once before and that was enough for me.”
“You don’t have a say in this,” the woman said.
I tried to think of ways to keep this from escalating into a fight. “Are you really going to try to capture me up here? Do you know how much surveillance is around?”
“I’ve taken care of all the cameras and the guards,” she said. “I come here all the time.”
Ah crap. I was hoping she hadn’t covered those bases.
My new opponent didn’t waste any more words. I could feel her reaching into the Rift for more power, and I had to react fast. Using one of the oldest tricks I knew, I threw a wave of dark force at her through the Rift. Casting that spell on reflex felt like pushing water in a bathtub; easy and familiar. My opponent moved in a wide circular motion and swung her arms around, deftly pushing the wave right back in my direction and running at me at full speed. I cut a wedge in the wave of Rift material to avoid having my own spell knock me on my ass, but the woman used my moment of distraction to her advantage and got in close quarters. I backed away and ducked just in time to dodge a fist headed for my temple, but I didn’t see the knee that was aimed at my stomach. She scored a solid hit to my midsection that sent me reeling.
For a second I thought about phasing into the Rift to catch her off guard. I figured that she was young, and it was possible she didn’t know the phasing spell yet. But if I went into the Rift while I was 86 floors up, what would happen? Would I fall? I had put countless objects into the Rift using a different spell and they had always stayed exactly where I put them. But for the phasing spell I wasn’t sure how the physics worked, so I came up with another idea.
My opponent was careful. She didn’t come at me aggressively again. After her last attack she waited, crouched like a cat about to pounce. She wanted to see what I would do next. I had a feeling she was quite good at defending attacks and redirecting them against her foes; the nightcrafter equivalent of jujitsu. So I wasn’t going to throw more magic at her, at least not directly. Instead, I reached out to the floor beneath her, and yanked upwards. A block of concrete two feet tall shot up under her feet and rocketed her into the air. I had intended for it to just flip her around so I’d have an opening to pin her down and escape. But I’d misjudged my strength up here in this hotspot. The force of the concrete spiking upwards pushed her clear over the suicide fence.
Shit. I overdid it.
My last frantic thought was hoping that she knew how to fly like Kellar did, or she had some other spell I’d never learned that would save her. But she didn’t. She just kept falling and screaming, until she was so far away I couldn’t hear her anymore.
CHAPTER 4
I stood frozen on the observation deck for a good twenty seconds before I could even think, let alone move. I’d killed this woman. I killed another human being. I’ve often thought about killing Kellar if I had to, or going to extremes to protect myself against another nightcrafter. But now I’d actually done it, and I felt horrible. I was sweating. I felt nauseous. My vision was starting to blur as my eyes watered and stung.
Somewhere, buried beneath all the panic and terror, a logical and rational part of my brain was fighting to be heard. “You have to get out of here.”That little voice had a point. This was not the place to be right now.
I ran off the observation deck and got into the elevator, then I jabbed the button for the lobby until the doors closed. The trip down felt like forever but it was only a few minutes, and when the door opened again I practically ran into the lobby. That’s when I saw the body across the street.
I turned away and headed for another exit. The security guards in the lobby weren’t paying me any attention. They were too busy on the phone with the authorities and staring at the corpse outside while they tried to explain what had just happened. I’d always liked the muted golden light in this lobby, but now it felt uncomfortably bright and hot. All I could think about was escaping into the cool, comfortable darkness.
My feet seemed to be moving on their own, and before I even realized it I was in an alley. As soon as I was clear of the light, I phased into the Rift. It was quiet here. No sirens. No helicopters. Nothing but pure, relaxing silence.
In the silence I could think. My breathing and heart rate went back to normal. Cold, hard logic pushed back the horde of prickly emotions threatening to take over my mind. It was an accident. An accident. Besides, this never would have happened if that crazy lady hadn’t been trying to do me harm. All I wanted was to find a hot spot and leave. And I did that. I’d found the location I needed to keep the nightcrafters from using their most dangerous ability.
I just had to get past the cost of my victory.
I slipped back through the Rift. My ears were immediately assaulted by sirens and the mechanical chatter of police radios. I could see red and blue lights reflected off the windows in front of me, but I didn’t turn around to look at the scene directly. All that reason and logic I felt on the other side of the Rift left me like water out of a drain. Emotions came rushing in to fill the void. Panic washed over me in waves. I pulled out my phone and called Newton. He answered after two rings.
“Kinda busy right now,” he said. “What’s up?”
“I . . . I . . . accidentally ended one of the . . . shadows.”
Newton paused, and when he spoke again his voice was shaky. “Ended?”
“Yeah. You know. It’s . . . not moving anymore.”
“Where are you?”
“Near a tall building,” I said.
“Your place?” Newton asked.
“No,” I said. “Different building.”
“Why are you there?”
“I found what I was looking for.”
“Oh,” Newton said. “I see. What exactly happened to the shadow?”
“They took a long trip very fast,” I said. “Newton, I don’t know what to do. This is . . . this is bad.”
“Just be calm,” Newton said. “Breathe. Stay in control. Did anybody see you?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t think so.”
“Are you sure the shadow is gone?” Newton said. I was so glad he was smart enough to keep the conversation vague.
“Yes,” I said. “No doubt about that.”
“Okay,” Newton said. “Were there any cameras around? Were you somewhere public where there might be a lot of surveillance?”
“No,” I said. “I mean . . . yes, but it was taken care of.”
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure,” I said.
“Then just leave,” Newton said.
“ But . . .”
“Just do it,” Newton said. “You’re not on the hook here and there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything. Just leave.”
“Then what?” I asked.
“Meet me where you saw me with the beard.”
I had to think for a second. Newton could barely grow any facial hair so I didn’t think I’d ever actually seen him with a beard. Then I remembered the hobo disguise he’d worn when he met me in Times Square after the nightcrafters had kidnapped me and tried to use me as bait. “Okay,” I said. “I will see you there in an hour.”
I hung up. Something about Newton’s voice convinced me to start walking. So I turned away from the scene and walked down the nearest major street for about ten minutes until my chest felt so tight I could
n’t move anymore. I stepped off the sidewalk, into a quiet dark alley. Then I started crying.
I’m not sure how long I bawled. I know my eyes were burning and my throat was hoarse by the time I could stop the emotions from overflowing. I felt like a monster. I had finally become what I had tried so hard to avoid. I had sacrificed human life to get what I needed.
But, after a few more minutes of bawling, I did what all young men are taught to do in difficult times: suck it up and deal with it. I buried the emotions somewhere and let that rational voice in my head resume control. Newton was right, after all. No one would suspect anything other than a suicide. There was no video of the incident. The guards wouldn’t remember anything. The nightcrafters would never know I learned about the hot spot up there, or about the RID Newton and I would soon install. Everything would go smoothly if I just walked away.
I wiped my eyes, cleared my throat, and disappeared into the night.
* * *
I walked the late night streets in a daze for a few minutes after that. Somehow I managed to get to Times Square, although I wasn’t entirely sure how I’d gotten there. It only takes about fifteen minutes to make that walk, but it felt like I’d left the Empire State Building only seconds ago.
I felt a hand on my shoulder then saw Newton walking past me like I was a stranger. I figured he wanted me to follow, so I let him get some distance ahead before I shadowed him. Eventually he came to a coffee shop that was packed even at this odd hour. I waited a bit before I went in, then searched through the bustling crowd of customers and found Newton at a tiny table in the back. I sat down across from him, and Newton ordered two coffees from the very prompt and attentive waiter. We sat there quietly while Newton eyed the crowd and waited until our drinks showed up. The service was surprisingly fast, despite all the people here. Our coffees were placed in front of us in just a few minutes. Newton turned to me and gave me a tense smile.
“How are you holding up?” he asked.
“Not well,” I said.
“Did anybody follow you?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? Didn’t feel anything in the Rift?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Is there something I should be worried about?”
“No,” Newton said. “Just taking precautions. Can never be too careful. Especially in the predicament we currently find ourselves in.”
“A predicament,” I said. “That doesn’t seem to really capture the essence of this shit storm.”
“You’ll be fine,” Newton said. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this job, it’s this: as long as you take the right action for the situation, things will work out in the end.”
He took a sip of his coffee. I did the same. There was silence between us, but the rest of the room was buzzing with the sound of chattering customers. I had a small epiphany and realized that was probably why Newton had picked this place. Anyone trying to spy on our conversation from a distance would just get a lot of noise.
“And the cameras?” Newton asked.
“She used a spell to disable them. Simple stuff.”
Newton nodded. “Even if she hadn’t done that, we could have taken care of it. Remember that artificial intelligence program I mentioned a while back? The one that scrubs through all the footage of certain activities that are out of the ordinary?”
“I’d forgotten about that,” I said. Newton had mentioned this to me before when he explained how NATO had already known about nightcrafters long before I met Dominique on that fateful night.“Either way,” Newton said, “there’s no evidence you were there. So there’s nothing for us to do but finish the RID and get it installed.”
“I guess,” I said. I drank more coffee. Everything Newton was saying made perfect sense, but it wasn’t really helping. I was still on the verge of an anxiety attack. The nervous energy was bubbling inside me, making me sweat.
Newton must have noticed. “Are you okay?” He asked.
“No. No . . . I am not. Okay is just not in the cards for me right now.”
“Maybe we should go back to your place so you can rest. You’ve had a rough night.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s probably a good idea.”
We finished our drinks and took a taxi back to my fortress of solitude. As soon as I stepped through the door, my tension eased a little. But then another wave of emotions hit me. I almost had another moment, but it was interrupted when Newton barged right in and gawped at my furnishings.
“Wow,” he said. “Nice set up. They must really like you.”
“They do for now,” I said. “That might change if they learn about what happened tonight.”
Newton turned to me and frowned. “Why would that be?”
“Because,” I said.
“Because . . . what?”
“I killed her,” I said.
“Accidentally,” Newton said. His features softened. His eyes were suddenly kind and understanding.
“Accident or not,” I said, “it doesn’t change the fact that I killed her.”
“What do you think she would have done to you if given the chance?” Newton said.
“That’s not the goddamn point,” I said. “I’m supposed to be better than that. Better than them.”
Newton took two careful steps towards me. Then he placed his hands on my shoulders. “You are and always will be better than them.”
I wanted to believe him. My intellect was ready to embrace anything he said. But the emotional part of me had sunk into the darkness, and it was enjoying wallowing in there. It wasn’t ready to come out yet.
“Take a seat and let me tell you a little story,” Newton said as he took me by the hand and guided me to the couch. We sat down and he turned to me.
“I killed a man once,” he said.
I had no idea how to respond to that. That was not what I was expecting. I thought he’d say some usual bullshit like, “You did what you had to do” or “It’ll all be fine in the morning.” I never would have guessed he would admit that he once ended a life too. All I could do was blink and stare at him.
“We had an assignment,” Newton continued. “There was a real piece of work we had to take care of . . . Bosnian mercenary called Blago. He was causing all sorts of problems for us in eastern Europe. Too many people died because of him. Too many missions failed. He had to go. So I hacked the electronics in his favorite luxury sports car. Made it look like an accident. Nobody ever knew except Dominique.”
“Wow,” I said.
“He was a psychopath,” Newton added, “and he was guilty of just about every violent crime there’s a name for. If we could have ever gotten him to trial, he would’ve gotten the death sentence for sure. Still, I felt pity for him. I read his whole background as part of my research. He had an awful childhood. Just horrific. No human being deserves to be treated like that, especially not a child. So it’s no mystery why he turned out the way he did. I used to wish I could have done something to give him the life he should have had. But I can’t invent a time machine to go back and fix terrible parenting. I can only fix problems that exist in the present, and I fixed that problem the only way it could be done.”
“And that’s it?” I asked.
“No, not really,” Newton said. “For a while after the deed was done, I had nightmares. I would see that car going up in smoke, but it was not Blago inside. At least, it wasn’t him as I actually knew him. It was an image of him as a child, which is a complete fabrication of my imagination because we never had any pictures of him as a kid. But in that nightmare, I saw that child burn and scream and burn until I woke up. I had that nightmare off and on for almost a year, and then one day I realized that it had stopped.”
“Any reason why?”
Newton nodded. “The last stage of grief — acceptance.”
I let his words sink in for a moment. The house was very quiet. It was just me and Newton. The rest of the universe had fallen away.
“I can’t just . . . accept this,�
� I said. “I can’t just accept being responsible for somebody’s death like it’s no big deal. That would make me no better than the people I’m trying to stop.”
Newton shook his head so hard his shaggy hair flopped about. “This woman most likely would have happily sent you to a gruesome and extended demise, but you are here grieving for her. That is what makes you better than them. We have to do painful things in this job, Kal. Hard decisions have to be made. What separates us from the monsters is that these decisions keep us awake at night.”
“Great,” I said. “Like I didn’t already have enough things in the night to keep me awake.”
“I have something for that,” Newton said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little clear plastic box with a few tan pills in it.
“Have you been self-medicating again?” I asked.
“Yes,” Newton said. “But this is nothing to worry about. All natural. Just a precise mix of melatonin and valerian root extract. Trust me on this. I’ve built up a tolerance to a few sleep aids, but this does wonders.”
I picked up a couple of the pills and stared at them. “How do I know you’re not trying to roofie me?”
“You don’t know, really,” Newton said with a smirk. “That’s why we have to rely on the trust we’ve built up over all this time. Besides, I wouldn’t try to roofie somebody who can literally make me disappear.”
“Smart man,” I said. Then I swallowed the pills.
* * *
I woke up in my bed. I’m not totally sure how I ended up there. I focused my mind to clear away the foggy leftovers of unconsciousness, and I remembered stumbling through the remainder of the night in a sleepy stupor. Maybe I had stumbled to bed the same way. Fortunately I still had clothes on.
The clock on my nightstand said it was just past eight in the morning. I rolled out of bed and walked out of the bedroom to grab some water. Newton was lying on the couch in the living room. He opened his eyes when I approached, smiled, and yawned so wide his jaw made popping noises.