by Lucy Clark
‘Thank you, Professor.’
At the use of his title, Gil raised one eyebrow but didn’t make any other comment. ‘Goodnight,’ he added, before turning and walking towards the main hotel lobby.
Slowly, as he walked towards the bank of lifts, the realisation of what had just happened hit him with full force. He’d kissed another woman. A woman who wasn’t his wife. A woman who wasn’t June.
The pain of losing his wife and daughter had torn his heart to shreds. He’d locked himself away. He’d focused on work. He’d had one person after another telling him that in time he would move on. That in time his heart would heal and that he’d one day be able to love again.
He hadn’t believed them.
Now, though…he was torn with a mixture of emotions. Part of him was proud that he’d managed to take that step. That after four years he was not only interested in another woman but had actually kissed her. Yet the other part felt as though he’d betrayed June. He’d kissed another woman. He’d moved on with his life and he’d left June behind. She didn’t deserve that.
He took the lift back to his suite, where he kicked off his shoes and lay down on the bed, hands behind his head as he looked at the ceiling. It had taken him years to get over June’s death and until the moment he’d pressed his mouth to Phemie’s, he hadn’t thought he had. He’d had some idea that sackcloth and ashes would be the normal way of his life and yet, without realising it, he’d moved on.
He’d somehow moved away from needing June lying beside him in the bed, hearing little Caitie breathing from the crib. He’d sold their house, he’d bought an apartment in Bath, not far from the hospital, and he’d locked himself and his memories away.
To find that at some point during the past four years he’d unconsciously moved on left him feeling more than a little guilty. That part of him felt hollow whilst the other part, the part that could still taste and smell Phemie in glorious Technicolor, felt free and elated.
It was all completely ridiculous. He simply didn’t do personal relationships. Not any more. They caused far too much pain when things, beyond your control, went wrong. Perhaps it would be a bad idea to go back to the RFDS base where she worked. Being that close to the woman, working alongside her, without too many distractions, seeing her smile, or the way she brushed her blonde hair out of her eyes, or…
‘No.’ He stopped the thoughts. Personal relationships were out of the question but from a medical perspective he was highly intrigued with the RFDS set-up. To be able to experience it first hand might even assist with his research. Work. Work was what he needed to focus on, not the soft, supple lips of Dr Grainger, yet when he closed his eyes again, the vision of her face was all he could see.
CHAPTER NINE
PHEMIE knew the only way she’d manage to get through the next few days was to focus on work. Thankfully, being at a medical conference, she was able to do just that. Discussing techniques with other doctors during lunch, looking at trade demonstrations and new products on the market, wishing the RFDS had unlimited funds to buy most of the new products. She filled her time with all those things but mostly she was one hundred per cent aware of avoiding Gil at all costs.
It wasn’t hard, given she felt he was doing the same thing and as keynote speaker all of his time was scheduled down to the last second. If they had happened to be in the same place at the same time, they ignored the gravitational pull that existed between them and instead focused on niceties. He would ask how her nerves were holding up and she would praise him on his latest speech. He treated her the same way he treated all other delegates—with polite enthusiasm—and part of her was a little miffed at that reaction.
She wasn’t the same as everyone else. She was the woman he’d kissed so tenderly and yet was treating like she was…just another person. Phemie knew her reaction was ludicrous. Of course Gil, professional that he was, wouldn’t treat her any differently in front of other delegates simply because there might be the far-off possibility that he had an emotional attachment to her.
If he’d walked in, hauled her into his arms then dipped her backwards before planting a big smoochy kiss on her mouth, well…Phemie’s breathing increased just thinking about it. She closed her eyes and worked at controlling herself before focussing on what was happening up on the podium.
It would be her turn soon. After the next break, she would be required to take the lead and present her work to the entire conference. Mentally she ran through her presentation again, hoping beyond hope that her computer didn’t falter, that the laser pointer would work, that there wouldn’t be a blackout.
Her anxiety rising, she quietly slipped out the side door of the convention room and dragged in a deep breath. She needed some air. Fresh air.
Sure steps took her towards the nearest balcony and within a minute she was breathing in the crisp yet polluted Sydney air. It had been raining but instead of the fresh, cleanness outback rain brought, here in the city the May shower had brought a certain mustiness. It didn’t matter. Phemie gripped the edge of the balcony railing and closed her eyes, wishing she could breathe the fresh outback air. She was a long way from home and she knew it. Still, it wouldn’t be long until she returned, back to the wide open spaces and her calm, contented life.
Gil would be coming back with her. She’d managed to arrange it all quite easily and now everything was settled. He would be there. With her. At her place. She knew that. Accepted it as fact. It was only for one week. She could cope. Then he would leave and she would put him from her mind and get on with what she did best—helping other people. He would be on the other side of the world and he would no doubt forget—No. She shouldn’t be thinking of Gil right now. She focused hard, doing some mental gymnastics to get her mind back in order again.
‘Phemie?’
She jumped almost sky high as she spun around, slipping on the slight wetness underfoot but managing to right herself almost immediately. Gil was by her side in an instant, his arms outstretched to her.
‘Are you all right? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.’
‘I’m fine.’ She took a step away from him, needing the distance. ‘What are you doing out here? You should be inside, listening to…’ She stopped and shook her head. ‘You know what? Do whatever you want. I need to go in now.’ She stepped away, making sure her footing was sure and steadfast, given she wasn’t used to wearing high-heeled shoes.
‘Phemie. Wait.’
She turned and looked at him expectantly.
‘Are you angry with me?’
‘Angry? Why would I be angry?’ There was veiled sarcasm in her tone. ‘You say you’re my friend, you kiss me and then you brush it aside as though it never happened.’
‘I’ve been a little—’
‘Busy. I know. It’s fine. Listen, I need to go and calm myself down before my presentation.’ Another step towards the door but this time he moved like lightning and was there before her, holding the door open.
‘I didn’t mean to add to your nervousness. I had to take a call so was already out of the convention room when I saw you leave. I simply wanted to ensure you were feeling all right. With regard to the matter of the other evening…’ He paused and exhaled harshly, as though he was cross, but she got the feeling he was more cross with himself than with her. ‘I would like to apologise if I’ve hurt or confused you in any way. That was never my intention.’
‘It’s fine, Gil. Really.’ She walked back into the warmth of the convention centre.
‘William tells me we’re all set to go on Wednesday.’
‘William’s coming with you?’ She was surprised at this news.
‘No. By “we” I meant us.’
‘Right. Yes. It’s all been cleared for you to come back to the Didja base with me.’ She made sure her words were calm, controlled and concise, not wanting to tell him how her boss had gushed at the thought of having such a prestigious doctor taking an interest in the RFDS. Gil’s ego had been stroked more than enough d
uring the conference. He didn’t need more. ‘We’ll meet nice and early in the lobby. I think the flight is booked for six am. It’ll be a long day of travelling so don’t party too much.’
‘I won’t. I assure you.’ His smile was equally as polite and Phemie nodded before turning away from him again. ‘Uh…just one more thing.’
She turned, trying to remain calm. So much for getting her thoughts into gear. So much for focusing on the task at hand. All she was conscious of was Gil’s light, spicy cologne, the warmth emanating from his gorgeous body and the way he made her knees turn to jelly when he looked at her the way he was doing right now.
‘You’ll do absolutely fine with your presentation.’
‘How do you know? You haven’t heard it.’
‘I just know. Trust me on that and to combat the nerves, just do what I do.’
‘What? Picture the audience in their underwear?’
‘Heavens, no.’ He gave a nervous chuckle at that idea. If he’d pictured Phemie in her underwear when he’d been speaking at the podium, he’d more than likely have had a stroke because she had an incredible body. In fact, he had to school his thoughts right now from picturing her in her underwear. ‘Just before I’m about to stand up to speak, I bite my tongue, blink five times, squeeze my little fingers and snort.’
Phemie looked at him with utter incredulity before bursting out laughing. ‘Do you really?’
‘No, but having someone make me laugh does help. Usually I call on William but during the past year I’ve heard all his jokes and, believe me, they weren’t that good to start with.’
Phemie’s smile was bright and natural and Gil hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed seeing it.
‘Dr Grainger?’ One of the conference organisers came over. ‘We’ll be ready for you soon. If you’d like to get your things and come this way?’
‘OK.’ Phemie took a few steps away but looked at Gil over her shoulder. ‘Thanks.’
‘You’re welcome.’ His smile was natural and gorgeous and she felt her knees starting to wobble again. ‘Break a leg.’
‘I guess you can feel quite safe saying that at a medical conference, but here in Australia we say “Chookas” instead.’
‘Really?’ The look he gave her said he wasn’t sure whether or not she was pulling his leg. ‘Well…in that case, er…chookas, Dr Grainger.’ The smile on her face made her eyes sparkle and Gil felt the full effect, recalling just how intoxicating those lips of hers really were.
‘Thank you, Professor.’ As she turned and walked away, Phemie couldn’t believe how much brighter she felt. Her nerves had all but disappeared and she was more than ready to stand in front of the delegates and give her presentation. And it was all thanks to Gil.
Phemie didn’t see him again until Wednesday morning when they met in the hotel lobby before the sun had started to rise, in readiness for travelling to the airport to begin their journey to Didja.
‘Good morning, Euphemia.’ Gil greeted her with cheery politeness.
‘How many cups of tea have you already had?’ she asked, slumping down in the chair and pulling a face at his overly bright attitude.
‘Only two cups of what you term “dishwater” this morning.’
Phemie sighed, a small smile touching her lips. ‘Well, I’ve had no tea and no coffee either, so please stop being all sunshiny.’
Gil’s lips twitched. ‘Not a morning person, then?’
‘More like a “don’t disturb my sleep” sort of person.’
‘Yet you’re a doctor. That’s a profession guaranteed to have high sleep deprivation.’
‘Yet it rarely happens that we get called out to emergencies in the wee small hours of the morning.’ She let her eyes drift shut but was more than aware of every move, every breath Gil took. How could she be so in tune with him? She’d known him for less than a week and this was the reaction she was having towards him. Imagine what she’d be like after the coming week in the outback…alone…together!
‘You were the one who set the flight times,’ he pointed out with complete logic. ‘I’m sure we could have taken a later flight, thus giving you time to sleep.’
She opened her eyes. ‘Actually, the morning flights are the only ones that go direct between the state capital cities. Other than that, we would have been flying from Sydney to Melbourne then to Adelaide then to Perth, where we would switch to the smaller aircraft to fly from Perth to Kalgoorlie and then drive to the base. The trip would have been completed when the sun had already set and as you mentioned that you don’t necessarily like to fly…’ She trailed off.
‘Yes. Yes. I accept the early hour.’ Gil shook his head, trying to remain positive in light of hearing her outline their travel plans. He knew it was going to be a long day, most of it spent in the confines of a plane, but for some reason, having Phemie Grainger sitting beside him was definitely taking the edge off the loathing he felt for flying.
Phemie yawned and closed her eyes. ‘As it’s going to be a long day’s travelling, the sooner it’s over, the better.’ She sighed and relaxed further into the softness of the chair.
Gil watched her for a moment before calling over a hotel staff member. He spoke in hushed tones and then returned his full attention to the tired yet highly alluring woman before him. ‘You don’t like to travel?’
Phemie opened an eye for a second then closed it. ‘Oh, I like travelling. I just prefer doing it to my own schedule. If the planes would run at exactly the times I wanted, I’d be more than happy. Perhaps even chipper.’
‘You’re a planner, eh?’
‘A meticulous planner. My mother used to call me…’ she yawned again, her eyes barely open ‘…Miss Hospital Corners when I was growing up.’
‘Fairly apt, now, given you’re a doctor.’
‘That’s what she thinks.’ Phemie sat there, allowing her body a few more seconds of sleep. ‘Oh.’ She sat bolt upright and stared at Gil. ‘Was I supposed to organise a taxi or have you alr—?’
‘It’s been taken care of.’
Phemie relaxed back in the chair again. ‘Thank you.’
‘Ah. Here we are,’ Gil said, and this time Phemie really opened her eyes, smelling the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee. He waved his hands in a flourish. ‘Ta-dah. This should help you.’
‘Coffee?’
‘Croissants and fruit, too,’ he pointed out with a smile.
‘Where? How?’ Phemie watched as two staff members set the small coffee table between the lounge chairs with the food and drink Gil had somehow ordered.
‘Here.’ He poured her a cup of coffee. ‘Milk? Sugar?’
‘Black is fine.’ She held out her hand and eagerly accepted his offering. ‘Thank you. That was very thoughtful.’ Why did he have to be that way? It only made him more endearing.
His gaze encompassed Phemie, his tone intimate and soft as he watched her sip the dark liquid. ‘But remember, if you get sleepy today, feel free to rest your head on my shoulder.’
Phemie was pleased and surprised by his words. ‘Uh…I’ll keep that in mind.’ Even the thought of doing that brought warmth to her body and a pale pink tinge to her cheeks.
‘I hope you do.’ There was a deep promise behind his eyes and it was one that told her he thought of her as more than just a friend. Yes, he’d declared they were friends and she’d agreed, but both of them were kidding themselves if they thought that’s all it was between them. Still, for now, for the moment, friendship was good. She didn’t need to run from him if it was just friendship, she didn’t need to keep her guard up if it was just friendship, she didn’t need to constantly be justifying her emotions to herself if it was just friendship.
Years ago, when she’d still dreamed of one day getting married and having children of her own, she had decided that her children would be the best of friends and the best of enemies. They would argue and laugh together. They would share and squabble. They would be normal siblings and she would be their loving mother wh
o ensured they worked out all their differences so they could remain friends throughout adulthood.
She had no idea whether Gil had brothers or sisters and that just highlighted how little she really knew this man who was constantly in her thoughts. Seeing him with Anthony, how he’d treated her brother with respect and friendliness, had improved her opinion of him. Seeing him at the conference and the way he’d neatly fielded questions, spoken with enthusiasm and had given even the lowest in the medical hierarchy his undivided attention had improved her respect for him. Seeing how he was so thoughtful where she was concerned had improved her love for him.
Love!
Her eyes bugged wide open at that and she must have made a little sound as Gil immediately turned to look at her.
‘Phemie? Are you all right?’
‘Uh…’ She looked away and swallowed. ‘I’m fine.’ She forced a smile. ‘Coffee’s still a little hot. Burnt my tongue,’ she lied, whilst her mind completely rejected her previous thoughts. Love? No. She wasn’t that insane. It would be ridiculous to fall in love with a man she barely knew who lived on the other side of the world…especially when falling in love wasn’t in her plan. Not at all.
‘Car’s here,’ Gil announced, and Phemie came back to earth with a thud, surprised to find her coffee finished and her plate empty. She looked at Gil to find him watching her.
‘Are you sure you’re feeling all right?’ he asked again.
‘Fine.’ She smiled as though to prove it and stood, picking up her luggage.
‘I can carry that,’ he offered, reaching out for her suitcase, but she shook her head.
‘I can manage. Besides, it’s on wheels so it’s no big drama.’ She headed out the hotel’s sliding glass doors and stopped short when she reached the kerb. ‘A limousine?’ Phemie looked quizzically at Gil. ‘Is this…is this for us?’
‘I thought it might be nice to travel to the airport in a bit of style and luxury,’ Gil remarked as their luggage was loaded into the boot.
‘I’ve never been in a limo before.’