by Chloe Walsh
"I'm okay," I whispered, curling my hands around his large wrists.
"Baby," he whispered, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Fuck, baby."
"I'm okay," I repeated, clutching onto him for dear life. "Everything's okay."
"Only one visitor at a time, please," Nurse Campbell announced as she sauntered into the room. "Two of you better scoot on back to class."
"Nate…" Jackson began to say, but my boyfriend cut him off.
"Jackson, don’t fuck with me right now," Nate snapped, entirely uninterested in what my brother had to say.
"She's my sister –"
"And she's my girlfriend," Nate snarled. "I'm going nowhere."
"Andi?" Nurse Campbell asked. "Who do want to stay with you, sweetheart?"
"I want Nathan to stay," I replied, cheeks reddening. I felt awful, but there really was no choice to make.
"Fine," Jackson hissed. With that, he stalked out of the nurse's station.
"I better…" Ivy muttered as she chased after my brother. "Andi, call me later, okay?"
She was gone before I had a chance to answer her.
"Now," the nurse announced in a serious tone of voice as she waddled towards me. "I have some questions for you, sweetheart." She glanced at Nathan and then back at me. "Some personal questions. You might feel more comfortable if we do this alone."
"I'm her boyfriend," Nate shot back as he planted his butt firmly on the cot beside me.
"Even so…"
"It's okay," I assured the nurse when she eyed Nathan. "I want him here."
"Very well," she said before getting straight to the point "Let's talk menstrual cycles. When was your last period?"
"Okay, maybe you should wait outside," I choked out, mortified.
Nate rolled his eyes. "Don’t be dumb."
"Well?" Nurse Campbell repeated, tapping her foot impatiently.
"I don’t know…um…maybe August?" I offered, feeling embarrassed. "I had a real light period in September, but it was only for a day and they usually last about five…why?"
"Huh." She looked at me with a blank expression. "Am I correct in saying you're sexually active?"
"Sexually active?" I squeaked. "Oh my lord."
"We are," Nate confirmed, taking my hand in his.
"Are you practicing safe sex?" She directed that question towards Nate.
"Yes." I nodded, relieved to have the correct answer to at least one of her questions.
"Not at the start," Nate said gruffly. "I…uh…" He cleared his throat before speaking again. "There were a few…uh incidents a while back."
"Well then." Nurse Campbell reached into a cabinet drawer and retrieved a urine sample pot. "You best get peeing, sweetheart." My eyes followed the nurse as she removed a long rectangular box from the same cabinet and pulled out a stick.
"What?" Awareness smacked me straight in the face. "Why?" My mouth fell open and I leapt down off the cot, refusing any part in this craziness. "I'm not pregnant."
"Well, now honey, you need to check," the nurse ordered as she thrust the box into my unwilling hands. "You're showing all the signs. Best be safe than sorry."
"Nate?" With tears in my eyes, I rushed towards where my boyfriend was standing with a horrified expression. "Nate!"
"It's okay, Andi," he choked out, catching me as I threw myself into his arm. "It's fine. It's…. fuck...don't panic, baby. It's okay."
"I can't be," I sobbed, trembling in his arms. "I can't. I can't."
"Andi….Baby, listen to me." Holding my face in his hands, Nate stared into my eyes, forcing me to focus on him. "You need to go in that bathroom and pee in the cup."
"But I don’t wanna–"
"Shh…" He pressed a kiss to my forehead and exhaled shakily. "Don’t think about it, okay? Just go pee. I'll wait right here for you."
"You won't leave?"
"I'm not going anywhere, I swear."
With the deepest of reluctance, and with sheer terror in my heart, I did as I was told and went to the bathroom.
When I returned, I felt numb to the bone as I handed the sample to the nurse and walked straight back into Nate's awaiting arms.
The two minutes I waited to hear to nurse's verdict were the two longest minutes of my life, and when she said, "Two pink lines, honey. You're most definitely pregnant," I felt like I had died inside.
****
"IT"S GONNA BE OKAY," Nate reassured me for what had to be the fifteenth time since we left school. "I'll take care of you, Andi. Both of you."
"I know." I didn’t know. We were kids with a kid on the way and no possible way of financially funding ourselves. Tears slid down my cheeks as I sat in the passenger seat of Nate's Chevy. We'd skipped class and were currently parked up at Echo's Point. We'd been sitting here for about three hours. And in those three hours, I had cried half of my bodyweight out. Nate had spent the time trying to reassure me, but I knew he was terrified, too.
Dropping my head in my hands, I forced myself to breathe slowly. All I wanted was to have a full blown panic attack, but that wouldn't solve anything. I needed to be rational right now. I needed a plan.
Who was I kidding?
I didn't have a plan.
I was seventeen years old and pregnant with my brother's best friend's baby.
My father was going to kill me.
My mother was going to freak out.
Jackson was going to disown me – permanently this time.
"Andi," Nate said in a tone much more patient than I deserved. "I promise you. I fucking swear to you, I will take care of you." He placed his hand on my back and gently stroked me. "I love you so much. Please don’t cry…"
His words only made me cry harder.
This wasn’t just about me.
This was about Nathan, too, and I couldn’t stop crying long enough to ask him if he was okay.
My phone pinged then, distracting me from my potential breakdown. Reluctantly, I dragged my phone out of my pocket and unlocked the screen.
To: Andi
From: Jackson
Time: 18:05
10-26-2016
Message: Mom and Dad are back from St. Barts. They want you home now.
Oh. My. God...
My heart fell into my butt as I read and re-read the message over and over.
To: Jackson
From: Andi
Time: 18:06
10-26-2016
Message: How do you know?
To: Andi
From: Jackson
Time: 18:06
10-26-2016
Message: I'm sitting next to one of them.
To: Jackson
From: Andi
Time: 18:11
10-26-2016
Message: What should I do?
To: Andi
From: Jackson
Time: 18:12
10-26-2016
Message: Go back in time.
To: Jackson
From: Andi
Time: 18:13
10-26-2016
Message: Do they know about me and Nate?
I waited with my heart in my mouth and my eyes locked on the screen until it pinged.
To: Andi
From: Nate
Time: 18:15
10-26-2016
Message: Yes.
"Andi?" Nate's voice penetrated my thoughts and I turned to look at him. The moment his eyes landed on my face they were filled with concern. Who is it? What's wrong?"
Numbly, I handed him my phone and whispered, "Everything."
I shook from head to toe as I watched Nathan scroll through my messages and when he finally looked up at me, I could see the worry in his eyes.
"Take me away from here," I begged, flinging myself at his mercy. "We'll leave. Tonight. Right now if you want."
"Andi, You're seventeen, baby," he choked out, voice torn, as he wrapped me up in his arms. "I'd get arrested and you'd get dragged back here."
"Then we make sure they don’t find us," I urge
d, heart racing in my chest. "Nate, if I go home now, you know what will happen." Inhaling a shaky breath, I squeezed out, "You know what they'll make me do when they find out."
"Over my dead fucking body," he shot back, snarling. "Nothing's gonna happen to you while I'm breathing, Andi. I can fucking promise you that."
"Please, Nate." Reaching over, I covered his hand with mine. "Take me away from here." Forcing myself to blink back the tears that wouldn’t stop falling, I stared into his brown eyes, willing him to take mercy on me. "The only way you can keep that promise is if you take me away from here. Today."
****
"THIS IS A REALLY BAD IDEA." Nate pulled into my driveway and I expelled an anxious breath. "A really bad idea, Nathan."
My heart was hammering in my chest.
My palms were sweating.
The thought of facing both my mother and father was causing me panic attack symptoms. Come to think of it, I was fairly sure I was having a panic attack. The knowledge that I was carrying Nate's baby in my belly made that anxiety a thousand times worse.
"Andi, baby, breathe," Nate said as he killed the engine and unfastened his seatbelt. "Nothing is gonna happen to you. It's gonna be okay."
"No." I shook my head and wiped a bead of sweat from my brow. "It's not, Nate." Nathan thought a united front would be most effective when facing my parents. He thought that if we face them head on as a couple, they would have to accept us.
I knew he was wrong.
But I also knew that if I walked into that house on my own, the chances of me walking back out were slim.
"Nate, don’t leave me alone in there." Turning to face him, I reached across the truck and grabbed his hand. "Please don’t leave me here on my own."
"Never planned on leaving without you," he replied in a thick tone of voice, brown eyes locked on my face. He lifted my hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. "I won't let a damn thing happen to you. I promise. Okay?"
"Okay."
I shook the entire walk into the house and when we reached the lounge and my eyes landed on my family, I felt like fainting. Honest to god, the only thing that was giving me strength was Nate's hand as he held mine.
Mom was sitting at the edge of the couch with a blank expression when we walked into the room. My father was leaning against the mantelpiece with a half empty tumbler of amber liquid in his hand.
Jackson was sitting on the couch looking forlorn. He was nursing a busted lip and a swollen eye. My heart sank at the sight of him and regret churned inside of me. I knew why my brother was nursing these new cuts and bruises and it had everything to do with me.
"Out," was the first word my father said when he saw us. The look in my father's eyes combined with the condition of my brother's face confirmed my worst fears.
They really did know about us.
"Not happening," Nate shot back calmly, tightening his hold on my hand. I could feel the tension bristling from my boyfriend. It was emanating from him in waves as he kept his hand on mine and his eyes locked on my father.
My mother's mouth fell open when her eyes landed on Nathan's hand entwined with mine. Suddenly the penny seemed to drop and her eyes narrowed. "Oh my god! I didn’t actually believe the rumors." Her tone of voice actually made me furious; like the thought of Nathan being with me was inconceivable.
Frozen to the spot, I gaped in horror as my mother leered at my boyfriend like he was some prized trophy. My palms twitched, the urge to scratch her almost overwhelming me. I wanted more than anything to throw all of my parents’ lies and secrets in their faces, but the image of Callie's face in my mind made me hold my tongue. Just barely.
"I won't tell you again," my father sneered as he glowered across the room at Nathan. "Get the fuck out of my house, Cole. This is family business." I noted that my dad kept a safe distance from Nate. I knew that if he wasn’t here right now, this scenario would be very different, but he was here.
"Then I'll say it again for all of us," Nate replied coolly. “It's. Not. Happening."
"This is your fault," Dad roared, turning his attention to my mother. "Feed rats and you'll never get rid of them." He looked at Nathan and then me before shaking his head in disgust. "What's the old saying; lay with dogs and you're gonna get fleas?"
"Don’t talk about him like that," I snapped, shocking myself and everyone else in the room. Jutting my chin up, I added, "I know this seems fast, but I love Nathan." He squeezed my hand and in that touch, pumped enough courage inside of me to say, "And he loves me right back. And we're… we're together now." My voice was trembling as I spoke. "So you guys will just have to get used to it."
"I'll just have to get used to it?" my dad replied, voice terrifyingly soft.
"Yes," I whispered, swallowing deeply.
"Huh," he mused. I watched in horror as my father brought his arm back and flung the glass tumbler straight at us. Moving fast as lightening, Nate swung me around, protecting me. The glass hit Nate in the back before shattering on the marble tiles beneath us.
"Jesus Christ, Dad!" Jackson hissed as leapt up from the couch. "What the fuck are you thinking?" He shoved our father in the chest and gaped at him. "That's Andi, you prick!"
"Speak to me like that again, and I'll ruin you," Dad warned Jackson. "I mean it, boy. I'm not messing around anymore."
"Don’t sweat it, Jackson," Nate taunted, turning to face them both. "Your father throws like a bitch."
"I bet that's what the coaches told you, star quarterback," Dad hissed, "Before they cut your ass from the team."
"Is that supposed to hurt me?" Nate threw his head back and laughed. "You'll have to do better than that, asshole."
"Come on, hotshot," Dad taunted, gesturing for Nate to come at him. "Bet you'd love to hit me right about now."
"And have you throw me in jail for assault and battery?" Nate continued to smile and it was clearly driving my father crazy. "I'm broke, not stupid."
"You don’t care about your football career?" Dad goaded. "What about your drunk-ass momma? Care about her boy?"
"Sticks and stones, old man," Nate shot back grinning. "You can thank my 'drunk-ass momma' for teaching me that."
"You." Dad turned his attention on me. "Get your ass up to your room, now."
I made to move before stopping in my tracks. I didn’t have to listen to him anymore. I didn’t have to let him control me and punish me for being born his daughter.
"No," I whispered. "I won't."
"What the fuck is this?" Dad roared. "Get the fuck upstairs and pack your shit, Adriana. Now!" Furious, he added. "I warned you what would happen if you broke rank. I called St. Bernadette's this afternoon," he added.
"There's a space waiting for you right now," Mom interjected.
"So I'll say it one more time, Adriana," Dad snarled. "Go upstairs and pack your shit."
"Dad, this isn’t the military," I cried out. "I'm not a soldier in your fantasy army. You can't command me to do things and then banish me away when I don’t comply."
He took a step towards me then and Nate stiffened beside me. My father's eye lit up in delight. "Ah," he said. "So my daughter is your breaking point."
"Absolutely, asshole," Nate shot back without missing a beat. "All bets are off when it comes to her. My patience. My tolerance levels. Everything." Releasing my hand, Nate took a step forward. "She's also the reason I'd gladly do time inside – if it meant beating the life out of your worthless ass."
"Nate," Jackson said then, voice pained. "Just go, man. You're only making it worse for her."
"Fuck you. I'm going nowhere without her," Nate snapped, losing his cool façade. "You expect me to walk out this door so that piece of shit you call a father can call one of his contacts and have her sent away? Or knock her around like he does you?" Nate glowered at my brother. "Over my dead fucking body."
"I wouldn’t let that happen to her," Jackson shot back, but Nate wasn’t having any of it.
"You wouldn’t let that happen? It's a
lready happening to her!" he roared, tone laced with disgust. "It's been happening to her since the day she was born, Jackson." Chest heaving, Nate shook his head and glowered at my brother. "That prick would lock Andi up in a fortress if he had one at his disposal, and the way you've been treating her this past few weeks only tells me that you're just as defected in the head as he is!"
"I am nothing like him," Jackson snarled, visible shaken from Nate's accusation.
"Could have fooled me."
"I was hurt, dickhead," Jackson shot back hoarsely. "You're my best friend. She's my sister. You two were screwing around behind my back!"
"Well boo fucking hoo, Jackson," Nate shot back without an ounce of hesitation before adding, "Build a bridge and get the fuck over yourself. You don’t get to know everything about her or me. I love your sister. Always have, always will, so you can either get over it or get out of my way, because I'm telling you now, friend, I aint giving her up for you or anyone else."
Jackson glowered at Nathan but he didn’t reply.
"And here's some food for thought," Nate tossed out, glaring at all three of them. "My family might not be much to talk about, but at least we're an average shade of dysfunctional. You all are off the fucking color charts crazy."
Nate turned to me then. "You okay?" he asked, tone soft and tender. Cupping my cheek with one hand, he stroked my cheek with his thumb. "Come on. You were right. I'm taking you away from here."
Sagging against his touch, I nodded frantically.
I didn’t want to spend another second inside of this house.
"You walk out that door with him and I'll cut you off," my father announced in a deathly cold tone of voice when I turned to leave with Nathan. "Take one step out that door and you're dead to me."
"Dad," Jackson hissed. "You can't be serious."
"Oh, I'm serious," Dad snarled.