She gently shook her.
“Gayla?”
“Hm? Jesse?”
“Gayla, wake up, babe.”
“Jesse?” She opened her eyes and looked at Ronda with confusion.
“Jesse?” Ronda said.
Gayla’s focus cleared.
“My brother. I was dreaming about him.”
“You sure?” Ronda said. “Jesse’s also the other starting cornerback on the team. You sure you weren’t dreaming about her?”
“No. It was my brother. I assure you.”
Ronda didn’t like what she was feeling. Jealousy wasn’t her thing. She’d never cared enough about anybody to be jealous. But she was jealous of Gayla.
“Baby, why would I dream of Jesse Swanson? She’s not even on my radar. My brother, on the other hand, is. He’s always in trouble. And I just dreamed he robbed a car then crashed it. He was lying there on the side of the road not moving.”
Gayla’s eyes teared up.
“Sh. Sh,” Ronda said. “It was just a dream.”
Gayla buried her face in Ronda’s chest.
“But it seemed so real.”
Ronda felt her jealousy dissipate as her need to comfort Gayla took over.
“It’s okay, babe. Let’s go to bed and you’ll go back to sleep and dream of more pleasant things.”
Gayla nodded and let Ronda help her off the couch.
“It just seemed so real,” Gayla said again.
“Yeah, but it was just a dream. Trust me.”
“I’m going to call him. Just to make sure he’s okay.”
“Fair enough. Come on in the bedroom with me. You can call him from there.”
She guided Gayla to the bedroom and sat next to her on the bed. She rubbed her back while she dialed her brother’s number. There was no answer. She left a message.
“Are you going to be able to sleep?” Ronda asked.
“I think so. I’ve calmed down. And even though he didn’t answer, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with him. I think I can let it go and get some sleep.”
“Okay.”
They took off their robes and lay in bed together. Ronda wrapped herself around Gayla and held her close. They fell into a deep sleep. A sleep that lasted until Gayla’s phone woke them at two thirty.
“Hello?” Gayla said with panic in her voice. “Why are you calling? What’s wrong?”
She was silent and Ronda lay next to her. Rubbing her back.
“Oh, my God,” Gayla said. “Where is he? I’ll be right there.”
“What?” Ronda said. “What’s going on?”
“Jesse was in a car wreck.”
“Oh, my God. That’s creepy.” Ronda wondered if Gayla might be psychic. How bizarre would that be?
“I need to go. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, hell no. You’re not going alone. I’m taking you. Where are we going?”
“They took him to Methodist.”
“Okay. Get dressed and let’s go.”
Ronda drove as fast as she legally could and got them to Methodist fifteen minutes later. Gayla got out of the car and practically ran into the emergency room. Ronda followed at a distance and when she walked in she saw Gayla in the embrace of her parents’ arms. She hung back and gave them their space. They finally split up and Gayla’s father looked over and saw Ronda. Ronda’s heart crawled into her throat. She hadn’t considered how it would look, her driving Gayla to the hospital in the middle of the night.
He crossed over to her and she held her breath.
“Ronda. Good to see you.” He extended his hand. “Thank you for being there for Gayla.”
“No problem. How’s Jesse doing?”
“He’s in surgery. We were just about to go up to that floor. Come with us?”
“Sure.” She walked over and took Gayla’s hand. “Let’s go.”
They were seated in the surgical waiting room.
“So, what happened?” Gayla said.
“He drove his car into a tree,” her mom said. “There were no passengers, so he only injured himself.”
“Was he drunk?” Gayla said.
“They’re running a tox screen,” her father said. “Lord, I hope not.”
“Me, too,” Gayla said.
Ronda sat there quietly, not knowing what to say. Jesse had been in and out of trouble since she’d known Gayla. She’d met him a couple of times. He was nice enough, but always seemed to have a chip on his shoulder.
The doctor came out. Ronda and the Adkins stood.
“How is he?” her dad asked.
“Not good, I’m afraid. He made it through surgery, but it was touch-and-go. He had a lot of bleeding in his brain. He banged his head pretty hard. We reconstructed part of his skull. I can’t guarantee he’ll ever regain consciousness.”
Gayla turned into Ronda’s chest and cried. She sobbed loud and hard. Ronda could do nothing but hold her and rub her back. She felt so helpless. She said a silent prayer to the powers that be that Jesse would pull through.
“When can we see him?” Mrs. Adkins asked.
“It’ll be a while. You might want to go get some sleep and come back in the morning.”
“No way. We’re waiting,” Gayla said.
“Okay. Get comfortable. Someone will come get you when you can see him.”
They sat down and Ronda kept vigil while one by one they all drifted off. She wanted to sleep, but wanted someone to be awake when they came out to get them. She kept herself awake freaking out over Gayla’s dream earlier. How had she known Jesse would be in an accident? What else had she foreseen in her life? She wanted to have a conversation about it with her right then, but knew she’d have to wait. It was neither the time nor the place.
Finally, shortly after the sun came up, the doctor came through the doors again. Ronda woke everyone up.
“Hey, hey. The doctor’s here.”
The other three woke up and rubbed their eyes. They sat up straighter in their seats.
“Can we see him now?” Mr. Adkins asked.
The doctor looked from one to another of them.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “Jesse didn’t make it.”
“What?” Gayla said. “There must be some mistake. You’re thinking of a different patient. Jesse Adkins. Go check on him.”
Ronda pulled her close, but she pushed away.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” the doctor said.
“My baby boy,” Mrs. Adkins cried.
“Can we see him?” Mr. Adkins asked.
“Certainly. You can go back there and say good-bye.”
Ronda hung back in the waiting room. Gayla grabbed her hand.
“Please,” she said. “Please come with me.”
“Are you sure?” Ronda was just fine not seeing a dead body.
“I need you, baby.”
“Okay, babe.” Ronda steeled herself and took Gayla’s hand and walked in with them.
“He looks so peaceful,” Mrs. Adkins said. “Like he’s just sleeping.”
Ronda thought that was an odd thing to say. His face was mostly wrapped in gauze due to the surgeries they did on his head.
They stood there for a while. Ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Ronda had no way of knowing. Finally, Mr. Adkins suggested they leave.
“Come on. Let’s get going. We’ve got a lot to do now.”
He wrapped his arms around a sobbing Mrs. Adkins and guided her out of the hospital. Ronda did the same with Gayla. They stood in the sunlight in front of the building. Nothing felt right. People were coming and going as if it was any other day and yet Gayla’s brother had just died. It was a surreal feeling.
“What now?” Ronda asked.
“You go on home. I need to be with my parents right now,” Gayla said.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. We have things to do. You can go home. Thank you for being with me last night.”
“Of course, babe. I’ll always be there for you.”
&nbs
p; “Thank you. I’ll call you a little later.”
“Okay. Take care.” She kissed her cheek, got in her truck, and drove home.
Chapter Thirteen
Ronda slept for a few hours, then got up and showered. She made it to the film showing at the stadium with five minutes to spare.
“You look like shit,” Coach Hindley said.
“Rough night.”
“How rough? What bar did you close down?”
“No. Not like that. Gayla’s brother died last night.”
“Oh, no. He was young. What happened?”
“He wrapped his car around a tree. We spent the night at the hospital, but he didn’t make it.”
“Hey, I’m sorry, Meyers. I know you and Gayla are close.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
She managed to stay awake while watching the films. She listened intently to what the coaches said they needed to work on. She even took notes. But boy, was she happy when it was over.
As soon as they were dismissed she walked to her truck. She texted Gayla.
“Hey. How you doin’? Is there anything I can do?”
Gayla texted her back.
“We’re making funeral arrangements. Can I come over later?”
“Of course.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
Ronda was at a loss. She didn’t know what she should do to help Gayla out at a time like this. She drove to a florist but didn’t get out of her truck. There would be flowers enough at the funeral. She decided to just drive home and wait for Gayla. She was sure she’d need lots of comfort and support, and Ronda was just the person to give it to her.
Ronda got home and slipped out of her clothes. She put on some trunks and a T-shirt and dove into the pool to swim laps. She swam until she was exhausted. She felt invigorated, even as the exhaustion weighed down her limbs. She loved exercise of any kind.
She pulled herself out of the pool and was surprised to see Gayla sitting there.
“How long have you been here?” she said.
“Not long. I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“You should have.” Ronda towel dried off. “I’d hug you, but I’d get you all wet.”
“That’s okay. I don’t care.”
Ronda pulled her close and stroked her back.
“I’m so sorry this happened, baby. So sorry.”
“Thanks, Ronda. So am I.”
Ronda felt her crying and held her until the sobs subsided.
“Here. Let’s get you inside,” Ronda said. They went into the living room and sat on the couch. “Babe, there’s something I have to ask you.”
“Sure. Shoot.”
“Well, I can’t stop thinking about your dream. Does that happen to you often?”
Gayla started crying again. Ronda wrapped her arms around her.
“No,” Gayla said. “Nothing like that has ever happened to me before.”
“Wow. What a trip.”
“I know. It’s a horrible feeling.”
“I’m sure. But you know it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have changed anything.”
“I know. But still…”
“No. There is no ‘but still.’ It wasn’t your fault. You even tried to call him to see if he was okay. You did your best. You just happened to have a bad dream.”
“That came true.”
“Not totally. The car he was in was his, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. So at least he hadn’t stolen a car. But the gist of the dream came true, Ronda. That’s scary.”
“It could have been a coincidence. I wouldn’t stress over it.”
“But you’ve been waiting all this time to ask me about it.”
“I just wondered. And the fact that it’s never happened before means it was a coincidence. Nothing more. Now what can I get for you?”
“I think I’d really just like a nap. Would you mind if I go lie down?”
“Not at all. I’ll hold you until you fall asleep.”
They lay together on the bed. Ronda had her arms around Gayla. Ronda still felt so helpless. She couldn’t get inside Gayla’s head to see what she was feeling. She wanted to help with arrangements but knew that was a family’s function. She just felt like she wasn’t there enough for Gayla and didn’t know how to make herself be there more.
When Gayla was asleep, Ronda slipped out of bed and went to the kitchen. She made dinner for them. While it was simmering on the stove, keeping warm, she went out on the back patio with a beer.
“Dinner smells amazing,” Gayla said.
“You’re awake already?” Ronda said.
“It’s been about two hours. I’d say that’s a decent nap.”
“Are you sure? You didn’t sleep much last night.”
“I’m fine. So, what’s for dinner? I’m actually somewhat hungry.”
“Somewhat?”
“Yes. Please don’t be offended if I don’t eat much. But it sure smells good.”
“Great. Well, let’s go in and serve up.”
Gayla was quiet during dinner and Ronda had no idea what to say to get the conversation started. Or if she even should. So she ate in silence hoping Gayla would finally break it. She did.
“So, we’re going to cremate Jesse tomorrow. The funeral will be the next day.”
“Okay. When do you need me to be where?”
“I’d love for you to be at the funeral.”
“What time?”
“I told my parents I wanted it at three o’clock so I know you can be there.”
“I will definitely be there. What else do you need from me?”
“I just need you to be you, baby. I’m going to really have to lean on you these next few days.”
“I’m here for you. I’ll even skip practice if need be.”
“No. I wouldn’t dream of that. Life is for the living, as they say. Life goes on is another one. We need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and living life to the best of our abilities.”
“Those are excellent words to live by,” Ronda said. “But it’s not always that easy.”
“I want you to go to your practices. I will be fine. Or maybe I’ll even watch your practices. It’s not like I have a lot else to do since you don’t show houses during the season.”
“Okay. That actually sounds nice. That way I’ll be able to keep an eye on you.”
“I’ll get through this, baby. It won’t be easy. Jesse was my only sibling. But I’ll get through it and you’ll help me.”
“As long as you allow me to help you. That’s important to me.”
“I’m going to need you to. I don’t delude myself into thinking I’m strong enough to go this road alone.”
“Good. So, lean hard on me. I’ll be there for you.”
They finished dinner and Ronda did the dishes while Gayla sat out on the patio. Ronda joined her with two glasses of scotch. She handed one to Gayla, who leaned forward on her lounge chair and allowed Ronda to sit behind her. She leaned back into her. Ronda wrapped an arm around her waist and relaxed with her drink and her woman. Overall, life was good.
“Were you going to stay here again tonight?” Ronda said.
“I’d like that. I don’t want to be alone.”
“That’s fine. I’d like to have you here.”
“I can go home tomorrow and shower and pack a bag so I can stay the next few nights, if that’s okay.”
“That’ll be great,” Ronda said. And she meant it. She wanted Gayla with her. Her protective instincts were in full swing and she didn’t want anything to happen to upset Gayla any more than she already was. And staying with her would mean she could keep an eye on her.
“You’re really wonderful, Ronda.”
“No. I’m just crazy about you so I worry about you and would do anything for you. That just makes me human, babe.”
“Well, I think you’re wonderful.”
“Thank you. So are you.”
“Thanks.”
They sat in s
ilence as the sun set and the stars came out.
“It’s a beautiful night,” Gayla said. “The first of many Jesse won’t see.”
She started crying and Ronda held her as closely as she could.
“Let it out, babe. I’ve got you.”
“When will the crying stop?”
“When it does. Don’t try to fight it, Gayla. Feel your feelings. Let your emotions flow. Besides, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.”
“I know. Still.”
“Still nothing. Let it out.”
“I must look a fright with red puffy eyes. I can’t believe I’m letting you see me like this.”
“And I can’t believe you’d worry about that. If you think I’m that shallow, I can’t imagine you’d be with me.”
“True. I know you’re not shallow. It’s just…”
“I know. You’re always put together perfectly. And I appreciate that. But your brother just died. It’s okay to let yourself go.”
Gayla turned until she was facing Ronda. She buried her face in her chest and sobbed. Ronda felt so sorry for her. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose a sibling. She came from a fairly large family, and they were all still alive.
“Sh. It’s okay,” she said. “Let it all out.”
They sat like that for a long while until Gayla had cried herself out.
“I’m sorry I’m not better company,” Gayla said. “Maybe I should just go home.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not letting you go anywhere. You need me right now. And I need you here so I know you’re okay.”
“You’re the best, Ronda.”
“That’s sweet of you. I’m just looking out for you.”
“Would you mind if we went to bed now? I’m feeling pretty wiped out.”
“Sure. No problem.”
They stripped out of their clothes and Ronda had to force herself not to crave Gayla’s body. She needed to be held and that’s what Ronda was there for.
The next morning, they had coffee together.
“Do you want me to be with you when he’s cremated?” Ronda asked.
“No. I mean, thank you, but we decided to keep it family only.”
“Okay. Well, I’m going to go to practice then. Here.”
She handed Gayla a key to her house.
“In case you need a place to crash after. And if I’m not home yet, I want you to be able to get in.”
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