Perfectly Able

by Suzannah Daniels

  When we arrived back at shore, Ava worked her way to the grass, while I tugged the canoe onto land. She waited patiently for me to finish, and then I scooped her in my arms.

  “Oh, my gosh! Your hands are so warm,” she said. “How is that possible?”

  I grinned as she turned her body into my chest, soaking up my warmth. “Someone started a fire back on the canoe. You don’t know anything about that, do you?”

  “When I was imagining that moment, it didn’t turn out quite like this,” she said softly.

  I laughed. “Now you know why I’m not very spontaneous. I like everything to go according to plan.”

  “This wasn’t how I imagined it,” she said softly, “but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like how it turned out.”

  I looked down at her then, stopping just in front of the deck steps. “You like getting dunked in a cold lake?”

  “Surprisingly, yes. This whole evening is a happy memory that I’ll never forget. I figure the more happy memories I have, the less room there is in my head for bad ones.”

  “Holding on to a bad memory can make the happy ones shine that much brighter,” I countered.

  “I’ve never thought about it that way,” she said, as I climbed the stairs to the deck. “I’ll pick one to hold on to, and I’ll let the rest go.”

  I paused before setting her on the chaise lounge, my arms still wrapped firmly around her body.

  “Do you have a bad memory that you’re holding on to?” she whispered.

  Her question punched me in the gut. I never spoke of the circumstances surrounding the one bad memory that I refused to release. I swallowed hard. “Yes.”

  “Would you share it with me?” she asked.

  I released her, gently holding her upper body against me as her right foot reached the deck. “Maybe someday,” I replied, my voice sounding hoarse.

  “Can I finish my kiss?” she whispered, her face upturned.

  “I don’t know. You’re not gonna throw me off the deck, are you?”

  She smiled and shook her head. “No. I promise that I’ll be gentle with you.”

  “Then yes, you can finish your kiss.”

  She rose up on her toes, her hands fastened behind my neck. Goose bumps covered her body, and I could feel the hardened tips of her breasts through her thin bikini top as she pressed against me.

  She kissed me softly at first, her lips grazing mine gently like a balmy breeze, but then her tongue slipped into my mouth. I held back, allowing her to lead. Resisting the need to make the intensity of the kiss match the urgent desire cascading through my body proved to be difficult, but I would not take this moment away from her. Her mouth was as hot as her body was cold, and I found myself caressing her back to satisfy my overwhelming need to warm her.

  When she finally pulled away, she buried her face in my neck, avoiding any eye contact. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  I wasn’t sure why she was thanking me, so I changed the subject altogether. “You’d better get inside, so you can warm up.” I released her, and she lowered herself to the chaise lounge where she had left her prosthesis.

  Allowing her privacy, I went inside and showered.

  When I finished, I went into the kitchen and made two cups of hot chocolate, glad that Kelsey had thrown it into the grocery buggy despite the fact that I’d told her that I didn’t want it.

  I waited for Ava to make an appearance, but when she never came out of her room, I emptied her cup of cocoa into the sink and went to my room, locking the door behind me.

  After stripping down to my boxers, I sat in the carved wooden chair in the corner of the room and watched the moonlight glisten off the surface of the lake. An owl flew across the night sky, its large wings flapping majestically, and I wondered if Ava had seen it.

  Not yet sleepy, I found myself wondering about her, what her life had been like up until now, how she had lost her leg, whom she had been dating.

  Even though I found her beautiful the first day that I’d come to the cabin, I hadn’t expected to be drawn to her. I had intended to ignore Kelsey and Brandy’s obvious attempt to make a match and concentrate on training. But the truth was Ava intrigued me.

  Training would still be my focus because nothing would keep me from meeting my goals, but I only needed to train so many hours on any particular day, which left plenty of time to learn more about Ava Nottingham. She was quite different from any of the other girls that I knew. Perhaps one of the things that appealed to me most besides her sweet nature was the fact that she was an athlete. Hell, she was more than a little athletic. She was seconds away from completing a triathlon. That said a lot about her and the kind of person that she was.

  Damn, but I couldn’t help but admire her.

  I smiled as I thought about the two of us being dumped in the lake. Out of the girls that I’d made out with, that was definitely the most memorable first kiss.

  And as much as I enjoyed it, I thought that maybe tomorrow it would be my turn to kiss her.

  ***

  I rose early and went running. When I came back, I followed it with a long swim. Swimming in open water was a much different experience than swimming in a pool, and I was glad that I had the opportunity to practice. No doubt that being packed in with dozens of other swimmers on race day would still be much different, but at least, I could get some kind of feel for it.

  I arrived back at the cabin around lunch time. After showering, I went to the kitchen, but I didn’t see Ava. A quick check in and around the cabin failed to produce any sign of her. Baffled because she hadn’t made an appearance, I knocked on her door.

  Her muffled voice called to me. “Yes?”

  “Ava, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Can I come in?”

  She hesitated. “Yes.”

  I opened the door to find her bed neatly made. She was sitting on a beige loveseat, a throw pillow in her lap. “Hey,” I said, as I entered the room.

  “Hey.”

  “Are you sick or something?” I asked.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “Okay. I just wanted to check.” Her mouth was pulled into a slight frown, and she seemed distracted. Dark circles rimmed her lower lids. Something was definitely wrong. After a brief internal struggle, I decided to ask, “Did I do something to offend you?”

  “What?” She looked surprised as she sat up a little straighter and looked at me, her dainty eyebrows knitted with concern. “No, definitely no. It’s me.” She waved her hand in front of her as if she were trying to explain more clearly. “I just…I just have something I’m trying to work through, that’s all.”

  “Have you eaten?” I asked, not having seen any sign that she’d been out of her room today.

  She shook her head. “I’m not really in the mood.”

  “Wouldn’t it be easier to work through whatever it is if you had something to eat?”

  She laid her hand on her stomach. “I feel a little queasy.”

  “Why don’t I make you something simple like some toast and scrambled eggs? That should help settle your stomach and give you more energy to…think.” I left the room, not waiting for her to answer. I didn’t know what was going on with her, but she looked so sad, and it tugged at my conscience. Maybe Ava needed someone right now, and seeing as I was the only person around, I would feel guilty if I didn’t intervene.

  Finding my way around the kitchen, I whipped us up some breakfast for lunch. When it was ready, I carried it out to the deck, thinking that being outside might help Ava to feel a little less gloomy.

  She nibbled on her toast while I quickly downed my meal. “So you wanna talk about it?”

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” She pushed her eggs around the plate with her fork.

  “I know you will, but you might be fine faster if you talk about it.”

  She gave me a small, sad smile. “Do you ever feel down in the dumps?”

  “I guess everybody has their mome
nts, but for the most part, I’m pretty upbeat. Does this have to do with the guy that you were dating?”

  “It does, but really it’s more about me, about what I know I should be feeling and what I’m actually feeling. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just wallowing in self-pity.”

  “We all do from time to time, and that’s okay. Do you feel like you’re having a serious problem, like with depression or something?”

  “No, nothing that serious.”

  “Well, you know what they say about laughter,” I said. “Maybe you just need to do something fun. Sometimes when I’m stressed, I take a break and do something enjoyable. Whatever the hell it is that I want to do.”

  “And what’s that?” she asked.

  “Could be anything. Going out on a date. Watching a movie. Laying around in my boxers eating cereal out of the box while I’m watching reruns.”

  She smiled, and it actually made me feel better.

  “What do you want to do for fun?” I asked.

  Her smile widened. “I don’t know. I want to do something I’ve never done before. We should be spontaneous.”

  “We should,” I agreed.

  “So you’re agreeing to ignore your plans and your calendar for the rest of the day?” she asked, a sparkle of mischief glowing in her eyes.

  “Well, technically, I’ve already completed my training today, which was my main goal.”

  “Then you’ll have no problem being spontaneous for the rest of the day. Is that what you’re saying?” she asked.

  “Spontaneous is my middle name,” I confirmed.

  “What should we do?” She looked at me expectantly.

  “What’s something you’ve never done that you want to do?” I asked, answering her question with another question.

  “Body shots,” she said without hesitation.

  That definitely sounded interesting. “We have no alcohol and no way to get any.”

  “Oh, that’s right.” Her face pulled into a frown.

  “Unless you want to use whatever we have in the kitchen,” I suggested.

  “We could do that?”

  “We can do whatever we want. It’s our day to be spontaneous, remember?” I grinned at her. “Go put on your bathing suit. I’ll put on mine, grab some stuff from the kitchen, and meet you back out here.”

  I gathered up the dishes while she went to change. After donning a fresh pair of swimming trunks, I grabbed a few items out of the kitchen and met her at the picnic table.

  “So what do we do?” she asked.

  “Do you want to take a shot first?

  “I’m not sure how. You do it first,” she said, wringing her hands.

  “All right. Lay down on the picnic table.” I held her steady while she climbed upon the table and lay down.

  “Instead of tequila, we’re going to use milk, and instead of limes, we’ll use oranges.” I sliced the orange into sections, set them down on the bench, and poured a small shot of milk. “Okay, there’s all kinds of variations, but we’ll do basic body shots.”

  “Okay.”

  Squeezing the orange slice, I rubbed a little juice along her slender abdomen so the salt would stick and then handed the slice to her. “When we get ready, put this in your mouth. After I take the shot, I’ll get it from you using nothing but my mouth.”

  I poured out a thin trail of salt on her abdomen, and she put the orange slice in her mouth.

  As I licked the salt from her stomach, I felt her muscles clench as I worked my way up. I downed the milk and my lips touched hers as I took the orange from her. Despite the fact that I was attracted to Ava and wanted to make the entire process more sensual, I decided that given her current frame of mind, it would be better for her if I stuck to the basics.

  “You want to try it now?” I asked.

  I traded spots with her, and she poured herself a shot of milk and handed me an orange slice. Setting the milk down, she copied my lead and poured a trail of salt on my upper abdomen. When she was finished, she hesitated, and I could see her facial expressions change as her thoughts funneled through her mind.

  Her brow furrowed. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but it’ll be fine. Be spontaneous, Ava. Isn’t that what you told me?”

  She pursed her lips and nodded. “You don’t mind?”

  “Mind? I consider myself fortunate.”

  A small smile cracked her serious demeanor.

  “I got one word for you—spontaneous,” I said, hoping to bolster her confidence.

  The minute her warm tongue hit my skin, I closed my eyes, focusing on the sensation. She started slow, but then she licked the remaining salt quickly as if she couldn’t be finished with the task fast enough. I cracked my eyelids open and watched as she guzzled the shot of milk. When her lips neared mine, I kept my eyes open, watching her and enjoying the feel of her lips on my skin, but it was over as soon as it started. I couldn’t help but feel disappointed when she pulled away.

  “So you survived your first body shot,” I teased, rising to a seated position. “It wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  She shook her head.

  “The next time’ll be better, though.”

  “How so?” she asked, looking at me as if she were waiting for some big revelation.

  “The next time we’ll use real tequila.”

  Chapter 6

  Ava

  Next time? Did he just insinuate that we would do body shots again in the future?

  Every time I feared that I’d made a fool of myself by being too forward, maybe a little too spontaneous, Ridge had a way of making me feel comfortable again.

  Last night, I was afraid that I’d been too bold when I kissed him. I was terribly embarrassed after dumping both of us in the lake, but I hadn’t stopped there. I’d actually had the gumption to ask to finish the kiss. But it had been dark, and I had been having fun. In the light of day, my actions seemed brazen. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to kiss me, but he was too nice to say “no”. All morning, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he had only agreed to it because I was the only other person here. Maybe when we were back in the real world, he’d want nothing to do with me, like Jack. Maybe in the real world, he’d prefer someone who was whole, perfect, unlike me.

  But now he had just insinuated that we’d see each other again. In my mind, I tried to add up how many times he had referred to us seeing each other once we left the cabin. He had invited me to his Halloween party; although, I hadn’t been convinced that he would follow through with it. He’d also talked about using me as his real estate agent. But now he suggested that we’d do body shots with real liquor.

  I liked Ridge Sutherland. Maybe if I had both my legs, I’d have the confidence to show it more, but my self-image had taken a beating after Jack. Every time I got the nerve up to do something daring, something I wouldn’t have thought twice about before I lost my leg, I’d start having second thoughts, thoughts that he would find me unattractive or inadequate.

  I cursed myself. It’d been five years since I lost my leg. I’d thought that I’d gotten past this point long ago. Trying to remember how I’d felt immediately after the accident, I started to wonder if I was having more trouble with the fact that I’d lost my leg now than I did then. And it all led back to the night that Jack had rejected me.

  Why did I struggle with this? Most people dealt with rejection at some point or another. Why did I let him affect me so deeply?

  Screw him. If Jack couldn’t accept the way I was, then he didn’t deserve me.

  “Ava, have you been listening to anything I’ve said?” Ridge asked, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

  “I’m sorry. I was just….”

  “Thinking?” he supplied.

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  “The moonlight washed it away last night,” he said, rubbing his warm palms over my shoulders.

  “What?” I asked, confused.

  “Whateve
r’s had you off-kilter today, whatever’s on your mind right now, the moon washed away. The sun rose on a new day.”

  I squinted as my gaze flicked toward the sun before falling to the glittering lake. “You know what? You’re right.” I felt as though heavy chains had fallen from my wrists and ankles and maybe even my heart. “It’s a new day, a new Ava.”

  Ridge squeezed my shoulders in silent agreement. “Does the new Ava want to take a canoe ride?”

  I nodded, eager to see the beautiful scenery in the full light of day and to spend more time getting to know Ridge.

  ***

  Over the next three days, Ridge and I spent a lot of time together, mostly canoeing and swimming. He went for a run every morning, and when he got back to the cabin, we’d practice our swimming techniques for the triathlon, each of us learning something useful from the other. We hadn’t kissed again, but we had joked and laughed and talked. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had so much fun or the last time that I’d been so comfortable around a guy, especially one who knew about my leg.

  He was adept at putting me at ease, and it was nice to not worry when I was around him. Part of me couldn’t help but wonder if the magic would disappear once we were back to our everyday lives.

  “Our last day here is almost over,” he said, his fingertips gliding across his bare abdomen just above the waist of his swim trunks. “What else do you want to do?”

  Knowing that the day was almost over was bittersweet. I hadn’t expected to enjoy myself as much as I had during my time here, but remnants of Jack’s rejection still hid in the shadows of my mind, lurking, waiting to pounce on any positive thoughts that formed. I glanced at Ridge’s profile as he scanned the lake, and I felt like he was part of the reason I was feeling a bit more like my old self. Doubt still lingered, though, and I wanted to put it to rest for good.

  I stuffed my hands in the shallow pockets of my blue jean shorts, which I had pulled on over my bikini bottoms. “Do you want to play truth or dare?” I asked, latching on to a moment of confidence. The sun had burst into a thousand colors as it signaled the end of the day. Soon, it would disappear entirely.