“And do you?” she asked. “I thought you liked me, Ridge. And right in the middle of making out with me, you got up and left without saying hardly a word. It was like being rejected all over again.”
“I am not your ex-boyfriend,” I said angrily.
“Then why did you leave, Ridge? Is it because you don’t want to be with me? Because you can’t be with a girl who isn’t whole?”
“Shit, Ava, it has nothing to do with your leg!” I stood up and started pacing in front of her.
“Then what is it?” she asked. “I need to know.”
I could hear the pleading in her voice, the uncertainty, the fear.
“Dammit,” I muttered. I should’ve stayed away from her. I knew when I met her at the cabin that I was drawn to her, and I should’ve kept my distance.
“Isn’t it enough to know that the reason that I left last night was about me, not you?”
“Ridge, you promised.” Her voice was whisper-soft.
“My father left us when I was twelve. You want to know why?” I asked, trying to tamp down the anger that ran rampant through my veins.
“Why?” She gazed at me as I walked back and forth, the moonlight highlighting her high cheekbones.
“Because he couldn’t handle it. He didn’t make enough money to provide for us, and he couldn’t handle the pressure of taking care of his family. He and my mother married young and had children when they were still in their teens. He wasn’t prepared financially, and he sure as hell wasn’t prepared mentally.
“So he left us a note apologizing and explaining that he simply didn’t have it in him to cope with it.”
“Did you ever see him again?”
I laughed, not out of humor. “He left us by committing suicide, so there was no opportunity to see him again, to tell him that we could work through it. Hell, no. He left us without giving us a chance to talk him out of it or to say goodbye.”
“So your list,” she whispered, “your list is to make sure that you don’t turn out like your father?”
“We had a conversation the day before he shot himself. I didn’t think anything of it. I thought it was one of those you’re-becoming-a-man talks that all fathers have with their sons. He made me promise that I would always take care of my mother and my sister. I made that promise, and I’ll keep that promise. When he died, I found odd jobs to help bring in money until I was old enough to get a real job, and I helped take care of them financially until my mother remarried a couple of years ago. But I’ve made a promise to myself that I will get an education and get a good-paying job, so that if either of them ever needs financial help from me, I can take care of them.”
“I can’t imagine the weight that you must’ve felt on your shoulders,” she said.
“I handled it. I always do. But I do it by staying focused and working hard.”
“Yeah, but you’re entitled to some fun, you know?” She reached out and grabbed my hand, forcing me to stop pacing. She patted the seat beside her, and I exhaled deeply and sat down.
“I do have fun, Ava, but responsibility comes first. It has to.”
“But I still don’t understand why you left last night.”
I held her hand between both of mine, rubbing my thumbs rhythmically across her knuckles.
“I told you. I like you too much, and a serious relationship doesn’t fit into my plans right now. And the more time I spend with you, the more time I want to spend with you. And that Ava Nottingham, scares the living hell out of me.”
I softened my voice. “And if I’m not prepared to have a real relationship, then you’ll only get hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you, Ava.”
“I understand why you feel the need to plan things out, Ridge, but if you let yourself be too consumed by what happened with your father and your need to compensate for his shortcomings, then you’re going to miss some opportunities, opportunities to have fun, opportunities to take the weight off your shoulders if only for a little while, opportunities to find…someone who will love you.”
“Maybe, but if I’m hardwired to be like my father, then sticking to my list is the only way that I can ensure that I won’t disappoint the people who mean the most to me.”
“You aren’t your father. And has it occurred to you that he was sick? I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a place where you’ve thought about suicide, but I have. I know the kind of tricks one’s mind can play, and until you’ve been there yourself, I don’t think you can ever truly understand. As warped as his thoughts may have been, I’m sure your father thought that he was unworthy, that his family would be better off if he was gone. I know it’s not true, but maybe he thought it to be true.”
I released her hand and rested my elbows on my knees, my fingertips pressing against my temples. “I loved my father.”
I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, and I fought to hold them back. I didn’t want to appear weak, especially in front of Ava.
She rubbed her palm across my back. “I’m sure your father loved you, too.”
“Then why the hell did he leave?” I spat out between clenched teeth.
“I don’t know, but it’s okay to forgive him. This anger and fear that you’re clinging to is only going to destroy you.”
Ava’s phone rang, and she glanced at the screen. “It’s the other agent.”
“Hello?”
“They’ve accepted it?”
“That’s good news. I’ll call you tomorrow to set up the closing.”
“Thanks for calling.”
She hung up the phone. “Well, the house is yours,” she said softly. “Guess you can cross that one off your list.”
While Ava was on the phone, I had regained my composure. “Yeah, guess so. Now on to the next one.”
“You need more spontaneity.”
I laughed harshly. “Yeah, we’ll see.”
I stood. “I need to go. You can call me when you get the closing set up.”
“Sure.”
She followed me to the front door.
I kissed her on the cheek. “Bye, Ava.”
“Bye.”
As I walked down the hall toward the parking lot, I thought I heard her soft voice whispering, “You’re worth saving, Ridge.”
But when I glanced over my shoulder, her door was closed.
Chapter 10
Ava
It had been a little over two weeks since I’d spoken to Ridge. I’d had to lie to him about not being able to meet him with the closing papers at lunch because I was tied up, and the untruth nibbled at my conscience. He’d told me that he hated liars, but I’d had a good reason. Even though I texted him the date and time of his closing, I only received a cursory response, and I couldn’t help but wonder why he was avoiding me.
While I’d been terrified that he just didn’t want me, it was obvious after our intense conversation that he had some issues that he was dealing with, just like I did.
My heart ached for him, and I knew that we had a connection, one that shouldn’t be ignored.
He had his goals, and I had mine. I was going to save Ridge.
I answered a knock at the door, and London strolled into my apartment. “Is Kelsey here yet?”
“Not yet,” I answered.
“I wonder if Brandy’s coming with her.” London pushed a wave of blond hair behind her shoulder.
“No, Brandy’s working tonight.” The only reason I knew that was because Kelsey had mentioned it on the phone when I called her and asked her to meet me at my apartment.
“There’s a veggie pizza in the kitchen if you want some,” I told London as I gathered my hair in a ponytail and fastened it with a hairband.
“So what’s your plan?” London called over her shoulder as she went to grab a slice.
“I don’t know yet. I’m hoping Kelsey can offer us some helpful information.”
As if on cue, another knock sounded at the door. I pulled it open, and Kelsey wiggled her fingers at me as she sashayed into the living
room. “I’m here, dahlings. Shall we get started?”
“Let’s talk in the kitchen,” London hollered. “I’m starving.”
We all sat at the table with a canned drink and the pizza box lying open in front of us.
“So has Ridge said anything to you about me?” I asked Kelsey, eager to form a plan of action.
“Do you honestly think he’d mention it to me?” Kelsey asked. “Getting information out of Ridge is like sneaking gold out of Fort Knox. It’s not going to happen.”
“Have you tried calling him?” London asked me.
“I wanted to give him some space. I figured he’d call me when he was ready, but it’s been two weeks, and I haven’t heard from him.”
“I heard him telling Mom over the weekend that he’s been really busy with work. He’s up for a promotion, and he’s been working a lot of overtime on a new project. He’s also training for the triathlon,” Kelsey said.
“Man, Ava, you’ve got it bad,” London announced around a mouthful of pizza.
I rested my chin in my palm, wondering what had been going through his mind since we’d last spoken.
“She’s not even denying it,” London said looking at Kelsey. “She really does have it bad.”
“I’m just worried about him,” I said.
“Why would you be worried?” Kelsey asked, her eyebrows knitted as she stared at me with concerned emerald eyes.
There’s no way I would ever tell anyone the things that Ridge had shared with me. “He’s just been working so hard,” I replied. “He needs to have a little fun.”
“Oh, I see,” London piped in. “A little fun. That’s where you come in. Am I right?”
“Hey, y’all were the ones that set us up at the cabin. Can I help it if I really like him?”
“You should randomly show up the next time he’s running or cycling,” Kelsey suggested, her chestnut hair hanging just below her shoulders.
“Do you know when and where that would be?” He and I had talked about training together. Kelsey’s suggestion was a logical choice.
“I think he changes it up some, but he usually goes to that two-mile track around Creekview Park. But gah, you got to get up early in the morning if you want to catch him there.”
“She’s a freak, too,” London said, pointing at me. “She never sleeps late.”
“I feel like my whole day is gone if I sleep in,” I reasoned. Turning back to Kelsey, I asked, “Does he go on Saturdays?”
“Usually. I know he goes at five o’clock in the morning during the week. I’m not sure about Saturday. Hold on, though, and I’ll find out.”
She pulled out her cell phone and dialed his number.
“Don’t tell him I want to know,” I whispered, afraid that would scare him off.
“I got this,” she assured me.
“Hey, Ridge.”
“What are you doing Saturday morning?”
“What time are you going cycling?”
“I’m not being nosy. I wanted to drop by your apartment before you left to bring you something. What time will you be there?”
“I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”
“Six o’clock! In the morning?”
I studied Kelsey’s profile. She was a beautiful girl, and I could definitely see the resemblance between Ridge and her. One of the most notable differences was their eye color. Ridge’s eyes were hazel, sometimes appearing amber, while Kelsey’s were definitely green. I wondered if she had any idea how much Ridge worried about her and their mother. Whether she realized it or not, she was lucky to have a brother like Ridge.
Kelsey was vivacious, and I smiled to myself as I thought about Ridge comparing her to a tornado. She was definitely one of those people who would never blend into a crowd. She would be center stage, and all eyes would be on her. She was unforgettable like a bumblebee in a swarm of ladybugs.
“Well, I might make it tomorrow night, instead. Will you be home?”
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow after you’ve gone cycling.”
Kelsey hung up and flung her arms in the air. “Who gets up at six o’clock on Saturday morning because they want to?” she demanded to know.
London thumbed in my direction. “The weirdos of the world, that’s who. That’s why they’re so perfect for each other. Anyone else in our age group wouldn’t get up before noon on a Saturday. They need to be with each other because they’d annoy the hell out of anyone else.”
I ignored London. She definitely had the irritating little sister act down to a tee. “So he’ll be there in the morning at six?” I clarified.
“Yes, and now I have to come up with some reason why I’m dropping off a surprise for him tomorrow night,” Kelsey said thoughtfully.
“Make him cupcakes,” London suggested.
Kelsey laughed as she pulled a slice of pizza out of the box. “Then he’ll know something’s up. I do not cook.”
“Exactly,” London said. “That’s why it’s a believable surprise.”
“You might have something there,” Kelsey agreed.
“I’ll be there at six,” I said, “but if this doesn’t work, I won’t set him up like this again. It feels stalkerish.”
London rolled her eyes. “That’s because it is stalkerish. Sometimes guys just need a little nudge.”
“You better keep in mind that Ridge is stubborn,” Kelsey added. “If you want to bring him home with you, you might want to take a pair of sturdy handcuffs and a stun gun.”
***
Due to the new moon, the chilly October morning was shrouded in darkness. I sat alone in the parking lot as I waited on some sign of Ridge.
Knowing that it would take me longer to get my equipment set up, I opened the back door to my car and pulled out my bicycle. As I switched into my prosthesis that was made specifically for cycling, a truck pulled into the parking lot. I watched as the driver got out and pulled his bicycle from the back.
I mounted my bike and rode slowly toward the track.
The other cyclist followed me, and I slowed down and peered over my shoulder, trying to discern whether it was Ridge. When I couldn’t tell, I continued riding toward the well-lit track.
“Ava?”
I turned to see Ridge, dressed in his cycling gear, just as he approached my left side. He slowed, unclipping his foot from the pedal and coming to a complete stop. I did the same.
“Hey, Ridge.” I motioned to his vehicle, which offered me the perfect opportunity to make small talk. “Did you trade in your Camaro?”
He looked back towards the parking lot. “No, sometimes I drive Mason’s truck. It’s easier to haul my bike, and seeing as he won’t be getting out of bed any time soon, I’ll be back home before he needs it.” He turned back around. “I didn’t know you cycled here.”
“It’s my first time, actually.”
“Ah,” he said, his grin softening his facial features. “How’ve you been?”
“Good. You?”
“I’ve been really busy,” he said. “Listen, thanks for getting the closing set up.”
“No problem. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly with the home inspection and the rest of the paperwork, and it won’t be delayed.”
“Yeah, I hope so. I’m pretty psyched that I’ll be able to have the Halloween party at my own house this year. You are still coming, aren’t you?”
I smiled. “Aye, I’ll be thar, Cap’n!”
“Shiver me timbers!” he growled. “I be glad to hear it.”
It was a relief that he’d made our encounter so lighthearted. I’d made myself a nervous wreck and had tossed and turned all night.
“How long are you going to ride?” I asked.
“Probably about an hour. You?”
“An hour sounds good.”
He motioned to the track. “Ladies first.”
I pushed off, fastening the sole of my cycling shoes into the pedal. It felt a little odd with Ridge behind me, but I cycled as swiftly as I could, afraid
that I would slow him down. One of the advantages of riding on the track this early was that there was no one else in sight, which allowed us to cycle quickly without slowing for pedestrians.
As the hour came to an end, my legs felt wobbly. When I slowed down as we rode towards our cars, my coordination got off-kilter and I didn’t get my good foot unclipped from the pedal fast enough to catch myself.
I crashed to the ground, my arms and knee breaking my fall as I slammed against the asphalt.
“Ava!”
Before I had time to react, Ridge was at my side, his large, warm hands gripping my arms. “Are you all right?” he asked, his voice edged with concern.
I closed my eyes, feeling the pain of embarrassment flooding through my body. I held my hand up to him, signaling him to stop. “I can get up by myself!” I shouted, more harshly than I’d intended. I appreciated his concern, but I didn’t want him to think that I couldn’t handle this situation on my own. My arms and knee stung fiercely, but I sucked it up and unclipped my feet from the pedals. Disentangling myself from my bike, I slowly stood.
“You’re bleeding,” he said, pointing to the splotch of blood that peppered the underside of my arm.
“I’ll be fine.” I didn’t bother to look.
“Do you want me to help you with your bike?”
“No, I got it.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t mind.”
“Yes, I’m sure,” I snapped, and I could feel the threat of tears in the corners of my eyes. “I’m not an invalid, Ridge.”
“I’m well aware of that,” he said softly, his voice filled with patience. He lifted the bike. “I just want to help you, Ava.”
I took it from him, leaning on it as I walked the couple of more steps it took me to get to my car. I leaned it against my car, opened the car doors, and sat sideways in the backseat, picking up my everyday prosthesis. He just stood and watched me, and I hesitated. I started switching my legs. If he wanted to watch, then so be it.
“I want us to be friends, Ava.”
Perfectly Able Page 11