by Karen Lamb
“That depends on whether you behave yourself,” I said.
We sat in front of the gas fire eating delicious slithers of cheese and crackers and sipping honey sweet dessert wine. The conversation was light and playful, but that was all about to change!
“I am a little wary to ask this, but I would like to know a bit about Will, you don’t talk about him”. I knew the time was right to talk about my past life with Will, I could trust Adam to keep it between us.
“We met at the local Rugby club, I had gone along to a match with a girlfriend who was going out with one of the players. As it happened it was Will it was all a bit awkward because as soon as we set eyes on each other it was love at first sight”. Adam looked suitable shocked.
“Go on what happened next?”
“Well the friend was Laura, she of course was upset for all of five minutes until she met Will’s best friend Frank”. Adam shrugged.
“All’s fair in love and war!”
Will became an oilrig engineer working predominantly in the main office in Newcastle, and Frank a financial advisor, also working in Newcastle. Within the year we both got married just a few weeks apart. I fell pregnant four times, sadly I lost all four babies at various stages of pregnancy, it took its toll on us and we reluctantly decided not to try again. The irony was that Laura and Frank, and you mustn’t repeat this, also tried and tried for a baby but without any success. This is why Laura and I have such a strong bond; we have been through so much together and always supported each other. Will died a year ago in a helicopter crash and my life pretty much ended. Until now” I whispered.
Adam took my hands and kissed them.
“I am so sorry Claire, I didn’t fully understand your situation and now I know, I cannot imagine the horrors you have been through. Thank you for sharing that with me, it means a lot”.
“I have many happy memories Adam, and I wouldn’t have changed any of it. I’m pleased you asked, it will never be easy to talk about him, thank you for being such a good listener it’s been good to share him with you. I think you pretty much know the story of my life.”
“I bet there are a few snippets I will discover in time”.
“So, you plan to stick around?” I smiled.
“Yup! You’re stuck with me, till you’ve had enough!”
“Tell me, I imagine a handsome guy like yourself has had lots girlfriends, any stories you’d like to share?”
“I won’t deny there have been a few, but none of my relationships have lasted very long”. Intrigued by his brevity it began to make me think what Adam’s type was, if indeed he had one, I was struggling to understand why he was attracted to me, and of course our age difference! Alarm bells went off in my head, this may not end well Claire, be careful, but I couldn’t stop myself, I needed to know, was I just another conquest?
“Can I ask a difficult question?” I asked hesitantly.
“Please do, my life is an open book”.
“It’s just well, oh heck I’ll just come out with it, why me?” A puzzled look replaced his happy face.
“I don’t think I understand the question?” A level of anxiety was fast overwhelming me, so I pushed on.
“It’s just I can’t get my head around the fact that you seem attracted to me? I am 53 and I admit I still can turn a few heads, but honestly why me?”
He put his plate down, his face had taken on a look of sheer disbelief, this was it I had upset him and there was no going back! Adam took a moment to gather his thoughts.
“I’ll be honest Claire, this attraction I have for you has come as a surprise to me, I have always thought of myself as the eternal bachelor, yes I have been with many women, albeit briefly, I became tired with their silly games and entrapment tactics, eventually everything in my life felt false and shallow and that’s why I packed my job in and went off traveling, I needed to get my head straight and figure out what I actually wanted to do with the rest of my life. Fast-forward 18 months and I am now a yoga instructor living in a fisherman’s cottage and have never been happier in my entire life! OK, let me move on to your question.” His eyes now became steely and serious. “I am not in any shape or form worried or concerned about the age difference between us. From the moment I saw you Claire I was attracted to you, there was something different about you, it was clear to me that you were hurting and it made me want to reach out to you, there was, deep down inside of me, a real need to see if I could help. I wanted to know who or what had hurt you so much that your life had spiralled into a very bad place, and now I know! I hope you will let me be here for you anytime of the night or day.”
That was the last straw, my tears, which had been welling up, began to cascade down my face, then I did probably the most stupid thing I have ever done, I tried to turn Adam against me!
“I can’t agree Adam, our age is a factor, what happens in the next ten years, and I look old enough to be your mother?”
“Stop it Claire right now before you regret what you say next, just how shallow do you think I am, I am attracted to your body, your mind, your soul, and nothing you say will stop me from thinking about you the way I do.”
The little sabotaging voice in my head wasn’t going to allow him to waste his time and win the argument here, and then I really blew it! I was going to stop this relationship right here and now, even if it broke my heart in the process.
“I’m sorry Adam, I was crazy to think we could be a couple, this is wrong. Let’s just call it a day now, we have had fun, but let’s just call it quits”. I was right I had gone too far! Adam exploded in front of me.
“For Christ sake Claire, enough”, he was now standing over me, he had a look on his face, which was a cross between sadness and rage! “Stand up, now,” he said in a low determined voice. I reluctantly found myself slowly standing up, my mind was in an absolute whirl, ready to hear the worst! And then he held my hands. “Claire, I am not letting you go,” a hand softly stroked my face, I was looking squarely into his sad, hurt face. “I need you to listen to me,” I nodded. “I think I’m in love with you, and I am not going anywhere”. After a minute or two of silence he said. “Your very quiet Claire, speak to me.”
“Could you say that again?” I asked, my brain not quite believing what it had just heard before going to mush!
“I said, I am in love with you Claire, I am deep crazy in love with you.”
All my previous logic and reasoning on why this couldn’t shouldn’t work were on hold, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, I pulled his face towards me and kissed him like my life depended on it, because it did! I paused.
“Adam, I think I am in love with you”.
“What did you say?” he whispered,
“I said I love you? and, I am so sorry I hurt you like that.” His face began to slowly relax and warmth came back as he once again kissed me with a passion that spoke volumes, it was true he really did love me and in that moment I absolutely one hundred per cent knew that I was in love with him.
“Claire you’re a stubborn, pig headed, beautiful, sexy, woman and there is no way I am going to let you run away from us, not now not ever, understood?” I nodded my head.
“Understood” I replied.
“Good, now I have a confession to make, a certain person told me you had a sexy hot dream about me in your shower”. The sudden change in topic and the revelation couldn’t have surprised me more.
“You mean my so-called friend Laura?”
“Now Claire I am going to jump in here and defend Laura, its thanks to her inside information, and encouragement, which has brought us to this moment. Now back to the dream, I believe I would very much like to re-enact it, but of course I will need more details, so I can make it as authentic as possible!”
“I think I can do that”, I smiled seductively, as he swept me up into his arms.
“Right, direct me towards the shower and I will make all your dreams come true”.
“Trust me, you already have!”
CHAPTER 21
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br /> A week had gone by and I still hadn’t fully comprehended the enormity of what had happened, all I did know was that I was in love with the most amazing, kind, generous and loving man.
Laura, of course, had been brought up to speed and was taking all the credit. Adam and I had slipped into a blissful uncomplicated life. He lived between his beach home and the cottage. We had decided that we wanted to take things slow and be spontaneous in our relationship, and it seemed to be working.
Adam was busy with his Yoga classes; the numbers were increasing as his reputation was spreading. I joked it was because of his good looks and body, which had certainly attracted younger women, I admit to having a smug feeling of satisfaction knowing he was all mine.
We had decided to tell only a few close friends that we were now a couple, and it was heart-warming to see how genuinely happy people were for us.
ADAM
As I meditated down on the beach, I reflected over the past few weeks. To say my life was on a continued path of change was an understatement. In less than two years I had gone from a top job in London with all the trimmings, to a back packer traveling all over Asia. I was a fully trained Yoga teacher and building up a good following here in North Northumberland, a million miles away from my previous life!
Most importantly I had met Claire, she had stolen my heart from the moment I saw her, my attempts to engage with her had uncharacteristically fallen on stony ground, but I’m not a quitter and my dogged determination had won her over.
Claire’s biggest obstacle had been our age difference, which I had absolutely no issue with, but it took a bit more persuasion to convince her I was madly in love with her, in fact, her age was an added attraction if I am honest.
Ironically this was the first time in my life I had felt these kinds of feelings for a woman.
I had hinted to my family that I was in a relationship, but only Daniel really knew how serious it was. My mother seemed to have guessed that this woman must be different, and she couldn’t hide her happiness for me. Other than that, we had decided to take things slowly and get to really know each other, there was only one thing I demanded in our relationship and that was honesty. Claire had agreed, because if anything, it was she who had more need to come to terms with moving on with another man, and she also had no desire to rush things. We both needed time to grow together and see where it would take us.
CHAPTER 22
Laura was continuing to match make.
“So what happens next?”
“Now we get to know each other, learn what makes each other tick, this has happened so fast I certainly need some time to get used to being with someone, even someone as kind and loving as Adam”.
“Fair enough.” Laura had a dreamy notion that we would get married and live happily ever after. “Have you mentioned your trip to Scotland?”
“No, I thought I would bring it up tonight. How about you and Frank are you going to come and stay?”
“Yes, he’s sorting out holiday time as we speak, so you can definitely count us in for a week”.
“Brilliant, this is going to be so much fun”.
★★★★★
Adam arrived at the cottage looking impressively gorgeous in his Yoga whites, my lips were aching to savour the touch of his, I would never be disappointed with how good his kisses tasted. After a long lingering kiss on my doorstep he scooped me up and carried me into the cottage.
“Adam put me down” I protested, “the front door is still open for the entire world to see us”.
“I thought you liked an audience,” he laughed.
“It’s been hours since I last saw you, I have missed you, haven’t you missed me?”
“You win” I laughed, “I have been counting the hours till we were both together in each other’s arms”, I sounded oh so dramatic and theatrical.
“That’s better, I like it when you are missing my charming company and wit”.
“Enough,” I giggled “and put me down”,
“Yes mam, should I shut the door?”
“It might be an idea” I grinned. “I bet your hungry?” Adam joined me in the kitchen.
“What’s on the menu?” as he hugged me from behind and nuzzled at my neck.
“Behave Adam”.
“Never” he replied, “your way to tempting”.
“How about some pate and cheese, crispy garlic bread and an icy cold beer?”
“Claire, you know the way to a man’s heart,” he whispered in my ear.
As it was a beautiful august evening, we decided to take advantage and enjoy our supper out on the patio.
“So was it a good Yoga session?” Adam nodded.
“Everyone is really getting to know what they’re doing, it makes such a difference when we are together, it flows beautifully, and the energy is so great”! I beamed at him, “What?” he asked.
“Nothing, it’s just I love to see you looking so happy, I’m so pleased that everything is working out for you. Oh and I love you.” His face suddenly lit up.
“You’ve got to stop doing that”.
“What?”
“Saying things that make me want to kiss you.” His hot sexy breath began to accost my throat.
“But why would I do that?” I giggled.
“God Claire you are the best thing that has ever come into my life, you have no idea how happy you make me”.
“Umm, I think I do.” I smiled”.
“Good, because I promise I will never take you for granted, we have something special here and I don’t want to waste a moment with you”. His easy ability to pour out his feelings towards me was something I was still working on. I knew my feelings for him were strong, but I struggled to freely vocalise them. I threw a cushion at him to lighten the mood between us, it was going to take me a little longer to get used to the new love in my life, but Adam was a patient man.
“Adam when you visited your family last month, Laura and I got a little tipsy and I did a bit of a rash spontaneous thing”!
“Go on,” said Adam who looked more than a little curious.
“I received a cheque from the insurance company who have been handling Will’s accident. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it, but then Laura, of course, came up with a great idea”, his face relaxed at the mention of Laura as she never did anything that wasn’t a bit crazy and usually fun! “I booked a month in a shooting lodge on the Isle of Skye; it’s in the grounds of a beautiful Scottish Castle overlooking a loch. It has three bedrooms, a huge lounge with a big log fire and a fully equipped kitchen, you can eat in the castle or have meals send over or of course I can do the cooking. It’s a bit of an extravagance, but I felt like I needed to be a bit frivolous, I think Will would have wanted me to enjoy it. The remaining money will ensure I have a more than a comfortable life”.
“Sounds like a great idea,” Adam said, “a month, that’s going to feel like a lifetime”!
“Oh gosh Adam, sorry, I hadn’t finished, what would make it perfect is if you joined me for as long as you can manage, Laura and Frank are coming up for a week too, what do you think, is that something you would enjoy?” His face said it all.
“I would love to join you. I would need to find a replacement for my classes, but I’m pretty sure I could come for two or maybe three weeks, it sounds like a great get away. I haven’t been to Skye, have you?”
“Nope, but when Laura told me about the mountains and lochs I immediately thought I could do some painting”.
“I never knew you liked to paint” said Adam, “perhaps you could teach me?”
“I very much doubt that, I love it, but I’m not very good. And then there is salmon and trout fishing in the loch, I’ve only tried it a couple of times, but I really enjoyed it, and they have a gillie who gives lessons, the walking is supposed to be amazing, but best of all,” I clapped my hands and bounced around, “they do cookery lessons in the castle, they have a Michelin Star chef who shows you all sorts of clever ways to improve your
cooking and you can then go on and do more advanced classes”. Adam laughed at my obvious exuberance.
“Sounds perfect. I am surprised at how little I know about you Claire, but I am enjoying the journey”.
“So, will you really come with me?”
“I would love to, just let me see if I can organize someone to cover for me”.
We sat silently for a few moments, thoughts of being together in Skye began to reflect in Adam’s face as I recognised the hot, steamy look, which meant only one thing! The promise of some sensational sex! My instincts weren’t wrong.
“Claire, I would like to ravage your body, if that’s ok with you?”
“Sounds good to me, shower first?” I said provocatively.
“Well it seems that since you introduced me to sex in your shower it’s all I think of!” He took my hand and walked me back into the cottage; how could I ever of imagined that my dream fantasy would become my reality, over and over again!
CHAPTER 23
The next four weeks were a blur of activity. The nearby town of Alnwick had the world-renowned fishing tackle factory ‘House of Hardy’. I remember Will’s first trip there, he was like a kid in a sweetie shop. The trained staff helped him select his first salmon fishing rod, the equipment required was quite bewildering and more than a little expensive, but he was quick to reassure me what a sensible investment he was making!
I was fascinated with the display cases filled with hundreds of beautifully handmade flies. They came in a bewildering range of sizes and colours, the attention to detail to create these lifelike ‘works of art’ was staggering. I had already decided that I would take Will’s box of tackle and his fishing bag, it would almost feel like he was with me, but I couldn’t resist buying a dozen very pretty flies of my own, the shop assistant wasn’t sure I really needed them, but that didn’t stop me.
Unfortunately, Will’s rods were too big for me, but it gave me a great idea, I could give them to Adam, he was only slightly taller than Will, and they would be ideal if he wanted to try his hand at fishing. I chose a light carbon fibre rod, which suited my height and was far more practical. I was advised to hire a salmon rod from the estate, apparently the weight was significantly heavier, and it wasn’t always something women found easy to use. I decided to invest in some really good waterproof clothing, believing it was always a sensible idea to try and stay dry. I felt Will would have approved of my choices, and if I caught the fishing bug I could easily return for anything else I needed.