by Unknown
Pilgrim said, “Master, please dismount and take a seat. As the proverb says,
There’s erroneous arrest
But no mistaken release.
Brothers, push these bandits over and tie them up. We’ll tell them to confess, to see if they are new thieves or experienced bandits.”
“But we have no ropes!” said Sha Monk. Pilgrim pulled off some hairs and blew his immortal breath on them. At once they changed into some thirty ropes. All the brothers worked together: they pushed over the bandits and hog-tied them. Then Pilgrim recited the spell of release, and the bandits gradually regained consciousness.
Pilgrim asked the Tang Monk to take a seat above them before the three brothers, each holding his weapon, and shouted at the thieves, “Clumsy thieves, how many of you are there altogether? For how many years have you engaged in this business? How much stuff have you plundered? Have you killed anyone? Is this the first transgression? The second? Or the third?”
“Fathers, please spare our lives,” the thieves cried.
“Don’t yell!” said Pilgrim. “Make an honest confession.”
“Venerable Father,” said the thieves, “we are not accustomed to thievery, for we are all sons of good families. Because we are stupid enough to drink, gamble, and sleep with prostitutes, we have completely squandered our inheritances and properties. We have neither abilities nor money for our livelihood. Since we learned that Squire Kou in the prefectural city of Bronze Estrade had vast possessions, we banded together yesterday and went to pillage his household last night, taking advantage of the rain and darkness. We took silver, gold, clothing, and jewels. Just now, we were dividing the loot in the valley north of the road here when we saw you coming. Someone among us recognized that you were those priests whom Squire Kou sent off, and we thought that you must have great possessions also. When we saw, moreover, how heavy the luggage was and how swiftly the white horse trotted, we grew so greedy that we were going to try to hold you up. We didn’t know that Venerable Father had such tremendous magic power to imprison us. We beg you to be merciful. Please take away the things we stole, but spare our lives.”
When Tripitaka heard that the Kou family had been robbed, he was so taken aback that he stood up immediately. “Wukong,” he said, “the old Squire Kou is so kind and virtuous. How could he bring on himself such a terrible calamity?”
“All because of his desire to see us on our way,” replied Pilgrim, chuckling. “Those color drapes and floral banners, that extravagant display of drums and music, all attracted people’s attention. That’s why these scoundrels moved against his house. It’s fortunate that they ran into us, so that we could rob them of this great amount of silver and gold, clothing and jewelery.”
“Since we have bothered the Kous for half a month but have nothing to repay their great kindness with,” said Tripitaka, “we should take these belongings back to their house. Wouldn’t that be a good deed?” Pilgrim agreed. With Eight Rules and Sha Monk, he went to the mountain valley and, having packed up the stolen goods, put them on the horse. Eight Rules was asked to tote another load of gold and silver, while Sha Monk toted their own luggage. Pilgrim would have liked to slaughter all those bandits with one blow of his rod, but fearing that the Tang Monk would blame him for taking human lives, he had no choice but to shake his body once to retrieve his hairs. With their hands and legs freed, those bandits scrambled up and fled for their lives. Our Tang Monk then retraced his steps to escort the stolen property back to the squire. This act of his, however, was like a moth darting into fire, a self-induced disaster! We have a testimonial poem for him, which says:
Kindness repaying kindness is a rarity,
For kindness can change into enmity.
To save the drowning you may go amiss.
Think thrice before acting, you’ll live in bliss.
As Tripitaka and his disciples proceeded to take back the stolen goods, they suddenly caught sight of a forest of swords and spears approaching them. Greatly alarmed, Tripitaka said, “Disciples, look at those weapons coming at us! What do they mean?”
“Disaster’s here! Disaster’s here!” Eight Rules said. “These must be the bandits we let go. They have taken up arms and banded together with more people so that they could return to contend with us.”
“Second Elder Brother,” said Sha Monk, “they do not look like bandits. Big Brother, take a careful look.”
“The evil star has descended once more on Master,” whispered Pilgrim to Sha Monk. “These are government troops out to catch bandits.” Hardly had he finished speaking when the soldiers rushed up to them and had master and disciples completely surrounded.
“Dear monks!” they cried. “After you’ve robbed and plundered, you are still swaggering around here!” They surged forward and yanked the Tang Monk off the horse. He was immediately tied up with ropes, after which Pilgrim and his two companions were also bound and hog-tied. Poles were inserted through the loops so that two soldiers could carry one prisoner on their shoulders. As the entire troop went back to the prefectural city, hauling the luggage and herding the horse, this was the condition of the pilgrims:
Tripitaka Tang
Shook all over,
Speechless and shedding tears;
Zhu Eight Rules
Mumbled and grumbled,
His feelings grievous and sour;
Sha, the Monk,
Muttered and murmured,
Uncertain what to do;
Pilgrim Sun
Giggled and tittered,
About to show his power.
In a little while, the throng of government troops hauled their prisoners and recovered booty back into the city. They then proceeded to the yellow hall to make this report: “Venerable Father, the recruits have captured the bandits.” Sitting solemnly in the hall, the magistrate first rewarded his troops. Then he examined the recovered property before he sent for members of the Kou family to take it back. Finally, he ordered Tripitaka and his companions brought before the hall for interrogation.
“You priests,” he said, “you claim that you have come from the distant Land of the East and that you are on your way to the Western Heaven to worship Buddha. Actually, however, you are thieves who resort to clever devices to get to know the layout of a place in order to plunder and pillage!”
“Your Excellency, allow me to speak,” said Tripitaka. “This humble cleric is in truth not a thief. This is no lie, for I have with me a travel rescript which you may look at. All this came about because of our regard for the great kindness of Squire Kou, who fed us for half a month. When we ran into the bandits on our way who had robbed the squire’s household, we took the stolen property and were about to return it to the Kou family as a gesture of our gratitude. Little did we expect that the soldiers would arrest us, thinking that we were the thieves. Truly we are not thieves, and I beg Your Excellency to exercise careful discernment.”
“Now that you are caught by government troops,” said the magistrate, “you resort to this clever talk of your gesture of gratitude. If you met the bandits on the way, why didn’t you seize them also, so that you could report to the proper official and repay the squire’s kindness? Why were there only four of you? Look! This is the plaint filed by Kou Liang, who named you specifically as the accused. You still dare to struggle?”
When he heard these words, Tripitaka was scared out of his wits, like someone on a boat in a boiling sea. “Wukong,” he cried, “why don’t you come up here to defend us?”
“The booty is real,” replied Pilgrim. “What’s the use of defense?”
“Exactly!” said the magistrate. “With such evidence before you, you still dare to deny the charge?” He said to his subordinates, “Bring the head clamp. We’ll give this thief’s bald head a taste of the clamp before we flog him.”
Terribly flustered, Pilgrim thought to himself, “Though my master is fated to meet this ordeal, he should not be allowed to suffer too much.” When he saw, therefore, that the bailiffs
were preparing the ropes to make the head clamp, he said, “Your Excellency, please don’t clamp that monk. During the robbery of the Kou home last night, it was I who held the light and the knife, and it was I who robbed and murdered. I’m the chieftain of the thieves. If you want flogging, flog me. They have nothing to do with this. Just don’t release me.”
On hearing this, the magistrate gave the order: “Let’s clamp the head of this one first.” Together the bailiffs looped the head clamp onto Pilgrim. When they suddenly tightened the rope, it snapped with a loud crack. They joined the rope and clamped again, and once more it snapped with a loud crack. After three or four times of clamping like this, the skin on Pilgrim’s head did not even show a wrinkle. When they wanted to change ropes and make another clamp, someone came in to report, “Venerable Father, Father Junior Guardian Chen from the capital has arrived. Please go out of the city to meet him.”
The magistrate immediately gave this order to the clerk of justice: “Take the thieves into the jail and guard them carefully. Wait until I have received my superior. We’ll interrogate them some more.” The clerk pushed the Tang Monk and his three disciples into the jailhouse. Eight Rules and Sha Monk, however, had to carry their own luggage in. “Disciples,” said Tripitaka, “how did this thing come to be?”
“Master, get in! Get in!” said Pilgrim, laughing. “There are no dogs barking here. It’s rather good fun!” Alas! The four of them were taken inside and they were all pushed onto the rack. Then belly compressors, head prongs, and chest straps were fastened to each of them. The prison guards then arrived and began a severe flogging. Hardly able to endure the pain, Tripitaka could only cry, “Wukong, what shall we do? What shall we do?” Pilgrim said, “They want to beat some money out of us! As the saying goes,
Settle down if you a nice place find;
Spend money when you’re in a bind.
They’ll probably ease up on us if we give them some money.”
“Where do I have any money?” asked Tripitaka.
“If we have no money,” said Pilgrim, “even clothing is all right. Give him that cassock of yours.” On hearing this, Tripitaka felt as if a dagger had stabbed his heart. Since, however, he could not endure the flogging any longer, he had little choice but to say, “Wukong, do as you wish.”
Immediately Pilgrim cried out, “Officers, no need for you to beat us anymore. Inside of one of those two wraps we carried in, there is a brocade cassock worth a thousand gold. Untie the wrap and take it. Please leave us.” When those prison guards heard this, they all went to untie the two wraps. There were indeed several cloth garments and a satchel, which were of no value at all. Then they came upon an object wrapped in several layers of oiled paper, with shafts of luminous radiance coming through. They knew it had to be a good thing. When they shook it loose to examine it, they saw a garment of
Bright, wonderful pearl appliques,
Sequins of rare Buddhist treasures;
With coiled-dragon knots of brocade,
And silk pipings of phoenix made.
As they fought to have a look at such a marvel, they disturbed the prison warden, who came to say, “Why are you all making such noises here?”
Going to their knees, the guards said, “Just now the old sire indicted these four priests, who all belonged to a large group of bandits. When we gave them a little flogging, they offered us these two wraps. We found this object after we untied the wraps, and we didn’t know what to do with it. To tear up the robe and divide it would be a great pity, but if only one of us owned it, the others would receive no benefit. Fortunately the old sire has come along. We’ll leave it up to you to decide for us.”
The warden recognized that it was a cassock. He then examined the other items of clothing and the satchel. Next, he unfolded the travel rescript to have a look. When he saw the signatures and treasure seals of various nations, he said, “I’m glad I saw this in time! Otherwise you people might have brought a terrible disaster on yourselves. These monks are no bandits. Don’t you dare touch their clothing! Wait till the grand sire interrogates them tomorrow, and we’ll probably learn the real truth.” When the guards heard this, they handed the wraps over to him. The warden tied them up as before and put them away for safe-keeping.
Gradually the night deepened; the drum-roll began on the towers as the night patrol shouted the watches. By about the third quarter of the fourth watch, Pilgrim saw that his companions had stopped moaning and had all fallen asleep. He thought to himself, “It was fated that Master should have this one night of prison ordeal. That’s the reason why old Monkey did not bother to dispute the judge or use magic power. Now that the fourth watch is almost over and the calamity is nearly completed, I must leave to make some plans so that we can get out of prison in the morning.”
Look at the way he exercises his abilities! Reducing the size of his body, he at once got out of the rack and, with one shake, changed into a midge to fly out through a crack between the roof tiles. It was a fair and quiet night of stars and a bright moon in the sky. Having determined the direction of the Kou house, he flew toward it. Soon he saw the bright flares of light coming from a house to the west. When he flew near it to look more closely, he discovered that it belonged to a family of bean-curd makers. An old man was tending fire, while his aged wife was squeezing out the soybean milk.
Presently he heard the old man say, “Mother, Mr. Kou might have sons and wealth, but he had no age. He was, you know, a schoolmate of mine when we were young. I am five years his senior. His father’s name was Kou Ming, and at that time, they had no more than a thousand acres of farmland, which they had leased out, but they couldn’t even collect the proper rental. By the time the son was twenty years old, the father died and it was up to him to manage their property. It was a stroke of luck that he took for his wife the daughter of Zhang Wang (Prosperity). Her nickname was Needle-Pusher, but she certainly brought prosperity to her husband. Since her entrance into his family, their lands yielded rich harvests and their rentals excellent returns. What they bought accrued value and what they sold made profits. Their assets by now must be worth a hundred thousand cash. When he reached his fortieth year, he began to devote himself to good deeds and managed to feed ten thousand monks. Who would have thought that he would be kicked to death by bandits last night! How pitiable! He was only sixty-four years old and had reached just the right age to enjoy himself. Who would expect a person of such virtuous inclination to be rewarded by such a violent death? It’s most lamentable! Most lamentable!” Every word of this statement was heard by Pilgrim.
By then it was the first quarter of the fifth watch, and Pilgrim flew right into the house of the Kou family. The squire’s coffin had been placed in the main hall so that the family could hold a wake over the dead man. Lamps were lit at the head of the coffin, flowers and fruit arranged around it. On one side his weeping wife kept vigil, and his two sons also were kneeling there and weeping. Two of his daughters-in-law were bringing in two bowls of rice for offering.
Pilgrim landed on the head of the coffin and gave a cough. The two daughters-in-law were so terrified that they ran outside, their arms and legs flailing the air. Prostrating themselves on the floor, the Kou brothers dared not move at all. All they could mutter was, “Father! Looooo! Loooo! . . .”
The old woman, however, was courageous enough to give the head of the coffin a tap and said, “Old Squire, have you come back to life?”
Imitating the voice of the squire, Pilgrim replied, “No, I haven’t!” More frightened than ever, the two sons continued to kowtow and shed tears. All they could mutter was, “Father! Looo! Looo! . . .” Forcing herself to be bold, the woman asked again, “Squire, if you haven’t come back to life, why are you speaking?”
“I have been sent back by King Yama in the custody of a ghost guardian,” said Pilgrim, “so that I can speak to all of you. I am supposed to tell you that Needle-Pusher Zhang has used her foul mouth and slanderous tongue to injure the innocent.”
When the old woman heard her own nickname, she became so flustered that she fell to her knees and kowtowed, saying, “Dear old man! You’re so old already, and you still want to address me by my nickname! What do you mean by my foul mouth and slanderous tongue? Which innocent person have I injured?” Pilgrim bellowed, “Didn’t you say something like this?
Eight Rules cried for slaughter;
The Tang Monk held the fire.
Sha Monk removed our silver and gold
While Pilgrim Sun beat to death our sire.
Because of your slanderous words, good people have been made to suffer. Those four masters of the Tang court, when they ran into the brigands on the road, took back our stolen property. They wanted to return that to us as a token of their gratitude. What an expression of goodwill! You, however, drew up this specious plaint and asked your sons to file it with the official. Without carefully examining the case either, he sent them to prison. Now the god of the jailhouse, the local spirit, and the city deity are all so overwrought that they have reported the matter to King Yama. He in turn sent his ghost guardian to take me back home to tell you this: that you should work for the monks’ release at once. Otherwise, I have been authorized to cause trouble for a solid month here in the house. The entire household, old and young, including chickens and dogs, will not be spared!”
Again kowtowing, the Kou brothers pleaded with him, saying, “Daddy, please go back. Please don’t ever harm the old and the young of this house. We will hasten to the prefecture in the morning and file a petition for release and make our confession. All we want is peace for both the living and the deceased.” On hearing this, Pilgrim cried, “Burn paper money! I’m going!” The whole family gathered at once to burn paper money.