Once the foot is wrapped, I sit back and close my eyes. The frozen peas are helping to dull the ache. Jess moves behind me and slides her hands onto my shoulders. I groan as she starts massaging them slowly, working her way across my shoulders and up into my scalp.
“That’s so nice,” I say in a low voice. My cock starts to pulse, even with her just touching my shoulders. She’s close enough that I can smell her perfume and I can feel the heat of her body near my head. I groan again.
She rubs my shoulders softly for a second and then gives me a light squeeze. “Come on,” she says. “Let’s get you home. I’ll drive your truck back.”
Her words surprise me but I nod quickly. Of course she’d want me to leave. What did I think was going to happen at her grandmother’s place? I swing my leg off the chair and she helps me to my feet. The bag of peas is firmly strapped to the bottom of my foot. She slips a pair of flip-flops on as we walk out the front door and I hop on one foot beside her. I try not to put too much weight down on her slight body but she squeezes me close and supports me as I walk.
“Up you go,” she says with a groan as she helps me into the passenger’s seat. I watch her walk around the front of the car and lift herself up into the driver’s seat. She slams the door closed and looks at me with a grin. “Who’s the night in shining armor now?”
I laugh. “The tables have turned.”
The truck revs to life and we start driving slowly. It’s a short drive back to the hotel, and I can hear the music from the wedding still blaring down the street. She pulls the truck over in front of the hotel and jogs around to my side to help me down. I can already see the eyes starting to appear at the hotel entrance.
Jess glances over at the people staring at us and chuckles. “They don’t miss anything, do they.”
We do our walk-hop up the steps and over to the lobby. I sigh as I put my hand on the bannister, resting for a moment before the long climb up the stairs. My foot is throbbing. Jess puts a hand on my back.
“Come on,” she says gently. “You can do it.”
One step at a time, I hop all the way up to the top landing. When we’re at the top, Jess guides me to my door. I fumble with my keys and she clears her throat.
“I’m going to head back,” she says.
My eyebrows shoot up as I glance up at her. She’s chewing her lip and staring off down the hallway towards the stairs. I clear my throat and nod quickly.
“Yeah, of course. Sure. Thank you,” I say. “For everything.”
“Call me tomorrow? We can grab a bite to eat, I think we have a lot to talk about.”
“Definitely.”
There’s a pause as the two of us stare at each other. Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I slide my fingers over her jaw and pull her into me. My lips crush against hers and my heart explodes in my chest. She wraps her arms against me and once again I feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I kiss her over and over, tasting those lips that I’ve missed so much. I wrap my other arm around her waist and feel her body pressed up against mine. I never want this to end.
We finally separate and I rest my forehead against hers. We just stand there holding each other for a few breaths.
“Call me tomorrow,” she says gently as she lifts her eyes up towards me. She smiles tentatively and strokes my cheek. “I need to go home.”
“You sure you don’t want to come in?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“I need some time to think, Owen. I’m exhausted. I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise.”
I nod. “Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Take my truck,” I say, pushing my keys towards her. “It’s too late to walk.”
She shakes her head gently. “I need the fresh air. Thanks though.”
Jess smiles gently and I lay one last kiss on her lips. She slips out of my arms and squeezes my hand as she turns away. I watch her walk down the hall in her long dress and old flip-flops until she disappears down the stairs.
With a huge sigh, I turn to my door and slide the key in the lock. I swing it open and step through, closing it behind me as I rub my forehead. I almost jump out of my skin when a voice speaks from the darkness.
“Hello, Owen,” it says.
I look up and my chest feels hollow. The blood drains from my face and I feel my Adam’s apple bob up and down as I swallow.
“Dad,” I say. “What are you doing here?”
52
Jess
I walk away slowly, down the street towards Gram’s house. My mind is turbulent and I’m not sure what to think. I’m not sure if being on my own tonight is the right thing to do. Everything in my body was screaming at me to stay beside him, to curl up on his bed and wrap my arms around him, but I just can’t.
I need to think about this. Everything is too rushed, too intense, too quick. I don’t even know what I want. I went from thinking he was sleeping with Mary to thinking he’s devoted to me in about an hour. Before that, I went from thinking he wanted nothing to do with the baby to believing him when he said he wanted to be with my. My head is completely melted.
I know I want to be with him. Gram was right: some things are worth pursuing. I’ve gone through a roller coaster of emotions today, and all I know for sure is that when I’m with him I’m happy.
Before I know it, I’m walking up the big flagstones towards Gram’s front porch. I open the door gently and slip inside, trying not to let the stairs creak as I make my way up to my room. I open the door and sigh. Even though I’m almost thirty years old, this bedroom still feels like home.
Suddenly I’m exhausted. My bones ache and every muscle in my body is screaming. I unzip my bridesmaid’s dress and let it puddle at my feet and then take out the ten thousand pins in my hair before climbing into bed. I don’t have the energy to take my makeup off or put my clothes away or brush my teeth. Within seconds, I’m asleep.
I wake up and groan as the sunlight hits my face. I forgot to close my curtains last night. I roll over and check the time, and then strain my ears to hear if Gram is awake and buzzing downstairs. I frown when all I hear is complete silence. Usually she would be up by now, but maybe she was extra tired after the wedding yesterday.
I check the time again. It’s almost 8am. I rub my eyes and groan when I see the black makeup streaked on my knuckles where I rubbed. I probably look like a raccoon now. I wrap a towel around myself and head to the bathroom.
I almost burst out laughing when I see myself in the mirror. My hair, which was so carefully hair-sprayed last night is sticking up in all directions. I look like Medusa. My makeup is streaked and blotchy, with big dark patches under my eyes. I’m definitely not as glamorous as I was last night.
The shower is hot and I take my time. I wash my hair slowly, massaging my scalp. I wash my face and body thoroughly and then just stand under the hot water without moving.
My thoughts drift to Owen and a smile forms on my lips. He cares about me, I can feel it in every touch and I can see it in his eyes. My heart starts beating a bit harder when I say it to myself again: he cares about me, and he cares about this baby.
All this drama, all the back and forth and hot and cold isn’t right. We should just be open with each other and talk about these things like adults. I need to settle down and stop being so afraid that he’ll leave me. I need to listen to Gram, and allow myself to open up. If I stop freaking out and running away every time I think he’ll hurt me, I’d let myself just be with him. I’d let myself be loved.
I take a deep breath and turn off the shower. Today, I’ll lay it all out for him. I’ll tell him that I’m willing to give it a shot with us, but we have to be completely honest with each other. I don’t want to live in this town, and I don’t want to raise my kid somewhere where I’ve always felt like an outsider. I want to know that he’ll be there for me and for the kid, and that he has to tell me everything about his past and his plans for the future.
I can tell him all this and then I can tell him
that being with him makes me feel better than anything else I’ve ever felt. It excites me to my core.
I finally step out of the shower and dry myself off. When I look in the mirror, I look like myself again. I smile as I put moisturizer on and start my morning routine. There’s a lightness in my movements and even though I’m nervous about talking to Owen, I know what I want now and I’m not afraid to say it to him.
I can be an adult about this.
I hum to myself as I get dressed and head downstairs. I glance in the kitchen and frown. Everything is exactly how I left it last night, which means Gram hasn’t been up yet. I turn on the coffee and make myself some toast while it brews.
I pour out two mugs of coffee and leave one of them next to my toast. I smile as I make my way up the stairs and over to Gram’s bedroom. My knuckles tap softly on the door while I call out to her.
“Gram? Are you up? I’ve got some coffee for you!”
I wait a few seconds and lean my ear to the door. Silence.
I knock again, a bit louder this time. “Gram! Are you there?”
Complete silence. There’s not a noise on the other side of the door, no rustling or sighing or grunt to answer my knocks. I frown as my hand hovers over the doorknob. With a deep breath, I turn it and push the door open.
Gram is still in bed, exactly how I left her last night. I walk over and speak softly to her. “Gram? I think you should get up, you’ll miss the day!”
She stays completely still. It starts to dawn on me that something is wrong. Her eyes are closed and she’s sleeping peacefully, arms over her heart. I get closer and it seems too still, too peaceful. My hands start to shake and the coffee begins to slosh around in the mug.
It’s not until I get right next to the bed that I know she’s gone. The coffee mug drops out of my hand and shatters on the wooden floorboards, sending coffee all over the floor. I ignore it, eyes glued on Gram. My voice is trembling.
“Gram?”
Finally, I touch her skin and shiver. It’s ice cold. My chest feels like the weight of the earth is pressed on it and I sit down on the bed beside her, grabbing both her shoulders and shaking her.
“Gram! Gram! Wake up! Wake up!” My voice starts to crack. The pain in my chest radiates out to the rest of my body as I collapse on top of her and sob. The lightness in my heart from this morning is replaced with sharp, searing pain as I rest my head against my grandmother’s chest. My tears seep into her nightgown and I tremble as I realize that I’ll never hear her voice again.
She’s gone.
53
Owen
I wake up as the sun comes up, so I guess I slept a bit last night. It’s surprising, considering the visitor I had in my room when I got in. I groan and roll onto my side. The mushy bag of thawed peas slides to the floor and I move my feet off the big wet patch the peas left. My foot is throbbing and I glance down to see it just as swollen as it was yesterday. I sigh and lie back down.
My father’s words are still ringing in my ears. When I saw him last night, my heart almost stopped. He grinned at me like the Cheshire Cat sitting alone in the darkness.
“Owen, my son,” he growled from his perch on my bed. I’d stayed completely still, afraid to move in case he pounced. “I haven’t see or heard from you in months.”
“I’ve been busy,” I responded, scanning the room for someone else.
“Calm down,” he said, “I’m alone.”
“I thought you weren’t allowed to leave the state during the trial?”
My father chuckled. “And yet here we are.” His eyes narrowed and a grin spread across his lips. In the darkness it looked more like a snarl. “Now. Your mother tells me that you don’t want to be part of the family business.”
“I’ve never wanted to be part of the family business,” I’d spat at him. I stumbled over to my dresser and leaned against it to relieve the pressure in my foot.
“What happened to you?”
“Nothing. What do you want?”
“I want you to understand that if you don’t let me use this nice little hotel as a new flagship for the business, I’m going to get angry. And you know what happens when I get angry.”
His eyes had narrowed and a chill went down my spine.
“You want to use the hotel— the business that I’ve built myself—for your own fucking fraud? No! Absolutely not! Get out.”
My father had rolled his eyes and leaned back in my bed. He looked at me with one eyebrow raised and shook his head. “Wrong choice.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Well, I was going to use that little money-hungry whore to blackmail you with a sexual harassment lawsuit, but the bitch couldn’t even do that right. So now we’re onto plan B.”
I frowned as I tried to make sense of his words. “Mary? You put Mary up to this?”
He just sighed and waved his hand lazily. “She was useful for one thing,” he’d added as his eyes swung back to mine. I’d gripped the dresser harder as his gaze almost knocked me back. Pure, black fury stared back at me. “She did tell me some interesting information about your new girlfriend.”
“Don’t you fucking—”
My father had laughed and finally lifted himself off the bed. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt her. That is, I’m not going to hurt her if you don’t cause any trouble. That’s plan C.”
“Fuck you,” I’d spat at him. He’d shrugged and straightened his jacket before walking past me towards the door.
“Your funeral,” he’d said as he opened it and stepped through.
Now, even though he’s been gone from my room for hours, I can still smell his cologne in my sheets. I can still taste the bitterness of his anger in my mouth and all I want to do is scream.
My own father tried to blackmail me. I wonder how much he paid Mary to come onto me. I wonder what he’s done to her now that it hasn’t worked. I wonder what he has planned, and why he mentioned Jess.
I sigh and rub my eyes with my palms. Something ignites in me when I think of Jess and our unborn child. I can’t let him hurt her. I won’t let him hurt her! I sit up as my heart starts beating faster. I need to stop him. Any loyalty that I had towards him, any residual filial love is gone. He’s not my father. He’s nothing to me, and now he’s threatening to destroy the one thing I care about.
Pain shoots through my foot as I hobble over to the dresser. Gingerly, I try to put weight on my foot and stumble as the pain blinds me.
Wincing, I grunt as I lean against the dresser. I won’t be able to do much to stop him if I can’t walk.
I pull open the bottom drawer of my dresser and frown as I see my clothes in a mess. My heart starts beating as I reach over to the spot with the files. My jaw drops and I push the clothes to the other side, and finally rip every item of clothing out of the drawer.
“No, no no no no no!” I yell as I see everything is gone. I sit down on the floor and hold my head in my hands, rocking back and forth.
He must have taken them. He knows that I had them. That must be why he made the trip himself. Now he’s here, he knows I had incriminating files against him, and he knows that Jess means a lot to me. Any protection that I had for being his son, any leverage that I could have used to keep him friendly is gone.
I glance over at my bedside table and see my keys. The USB is hanging off my key chain, a little black rectangle staring back at me. I lift myself up and take the keys in my hand, flicking the USB open and closed a couple times.
He may know that I had enough evidence to send him to jail, but now he thinks he’s got it. If I act quickly, I still have the upper hand.
54
Jess
When my tears dry, I lift myself off Gram’s chest. I stroke her cheek gently and sigh. My eyes sweep around the room, taking in the spilled coffee, the bright sunlight, the perfectly tidy closet.
What do you even do when someone dies? I stand up and pick up the mug off the floor, staring into it for answers. Do I call 9-1-1
? It’s not like there’s anything they could do.
Not knowing what else to do, I dial the number.
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”
“Uh, not so much an emergency,” my voice catches in my throat and I take a deep breath. “My grandmother died in the night. I found her this morning and I don’t know what to do.” On the last word, my voice breaks and I hear the dispatch’s voice soften.
“Okay, dear. No problem. Do you know what happened? Was it an accident?”
“She’s 82 years old. She just went to bed, and—” My voice breaks again.
“I’m going to send police and an ambulance and they’ll be able to assess the situation and help you out, okay? Can you give me your address?”
Somehow, I make it through the phone call without bursting into tears and in a daze I walk downstairs to wait for the police and paramedics. I open the front door and sit down on the front steps, staring at the quiet street but seeing nothing.
Suddenly the past few days make sense. Gram telling me she loved me, telling me to find happiness, telling me not to waste any time. She knew she was dying.
“Why didn’t you say anything,” I whisper to myself as a tear spills over onto my cheek. I brush it away quickly and take a deep breath.
I know why she didn’t say anything, it’s because she didn’t want to be a burden. She just wanted to live her life quietly, and die quietly in her own house. Now the tears are coming faster and I can’t keep up with brushing them away. I take a deep breath and try to pull myself together when I see the emergency vehicles turn down the street.
The rest of the morning is a blur. There’s lots of questions, lots of kind words, lots of phone calls. Finally a man in a black suit from a funeral home comes and collects her, and I watch as he drives away with my grandmother’s body.
Knocked Up- The Complete Box Set Page 47