by Shona Husk
Well, she wasn’t doing it for them; she was doing it for herself so she didn’t have to listen to those comments. Why did she care what they thought anyway?
She started up the car and drove to the corner shop. She marched in grabbed a tub of salted caramel ice-cream, paid and marched straight back out. Feeling less like ice-cream and more angry with every step.
She pulled out her phone and sent a quick text.
I have ice-cream
That didn’t sound desperate. It was a suggestion that he could either take up or not. She hoped that he’d at least reply.
Dan responded immediately. I have spoons
That was obviously an invitation to turn up on his doorstep. On my way
She wouldn’t stay for long. Just long enough to eat the ice-cream with him, get naked and be appreciated. Being with him was better than being in her flat and listening to her sister and her friends.
Having someone she could call up when she wanted some was a definite upturn. One she could get used to real fast. Less than ten minutes later she was pulling up outside his flat.
She wasn’t sure if she was here for sex or just hiding from her sister. It had to be the former because she and Dan weren’t friends or lovers. They were occasional bed partners.
Bed buddies didn’t share ice-cream. This was expanding their agreement.
The tub of ice-cream was cold in her hand as she got out of the car and walked up to his door. Nerves formed as she knocked. It was different this time. She hadn’t been brought here by lust. She glanced at the tub. He hadn’t even asked what flavour she was bringing. Maybe he didn’t care about the ice-cream at all. She sighed. That would be for the best.
Dan opened the door.
He had on jeans and a dark grey t-shirt that looked as though it had been scrunched up in a corner for far too long. His feet were bare but he had two spoons in his hand.
‘Did you think I was joking?’ he said with a smile.
She had. She had been beginning to think that the ice-cream was an excuse for sex and that had made her feel a whole lot better. Now it was looking as though they were actually going to have ice-cream. ‘You may not like what I picked.’
He shrugged. ‘I’m easy to please, unless it’s got fruit in it.’ He looked at her, his gaze skimming over her tight t-shirt and tracksuit pants. ‘Fruit is a definite deal-breaker.’
She should’ve gotten changed. She hadn’t thought this through very well at all. If she was here for the sex then she should be dressing that way. This was too … too something close to being friends.
His eyes widened in horror. ‘Oh God. It’s frozen fruity yoghurt, isn’t it? Diet frozen fruity yoghurt.’ He sighed as though that was the worst thing that could happen tonight. He lowered the spoons. ‘I don’t think I can let you in if that’s the case.’ He sounded completely serious.
Indigo grinned, half tempted to nod and agree just to see what he’d do. The ice on the outside of the tub was melting against her palm and making her skin cold. Instead she took pity on him and lifted the tub so he could see. ‘If I’m going to splurge on junk calories, I do it properly.’
There was no point in only having half a luxury, as it wasn’t satisfying. Give in, enjoy and make good the next day. And try not to feel guilty about it. Food, like sex, should be enjoyed. She planned on enjoying both tonight.
He read the tub and leaned in. His lips caught hers in a surprise kiss. ‘You are awesome.’
A little bubble of joy grew and swelled in her chest. He dragged her inside and shut the door. Her body was pressed against his as he kissed her hard, leaving no doubt about how he felt about her—regardless of what she was wearing.
While his body was hot and hard against her, her hand was freezing. She pressed the tub to his ribs. He yelped and drew back, but there was a glint in his eyes and a half smile on his lips.
‘We don’t want the ice-cream to melt.’ She tried to look innocent and was sure she failed. She expected him to put it in the freezer so they could get sweaty, or even forget about the ice-cream all together.
‘You’re right. Come have a seat.’ He indicated to the sofa.
Her eyebrows lifted. ‘Oh.’
Dan glanced at her. ‘Was the ice-cream an excuse? You know you don’t need one.’
‘I don’t want you thinking I’m too easy,’ she said with a laugh she didn’t entirely feel. Did he already think that she was easy? He was right though, getting the ice-cream had provided a reason to come around. She’d spent the day thinking about him, maybe she’d have found any reason to get out of her flat tonight.
‘As long as you’re only being easy with me.’ He dropped onto the sofa and patted his thigh as if he expected her to sit on his lap.
She swallowed. Was he asking if they were exclusive? Wasn’t that a step in the ‘this is getting serious direction’?
‘Are you only screwing me?’ She tried to put this back on familiar ground. Back to sex and nothing else.
He nodded. ‘Despite what you may have heard, I am very respectable.’
She glanced at the glass of spirits on the coffee table and the almost empty bottle of cheap rum. Then his bare feet and scruffy hair. It looked as though he hadn’t shaved today either. He was the very image of all things not respectable.
Indigo sat on his lap facing him. ‘If you’re the angel in the band then the others must be truly wicked.’
‘You have no idea. They are all getting serious while I have just escaped the shackles of a long-term relationship.’ He peeled off the plastic seal on the tub and then removed the lid.
She hadn’t realised that the rest of the band had girlfriends. She’d heard about Mike, a lot. And then there were the Ed fans … Dan got attention but it wasn’t quite the same, maybe because he’d been with someone when the band had started. She remembered being in the crowd and hearing some girl ask which guy was single—she apparently wasn’t fussed about who she slept with as long as it was one of them.
That Indigo didn’t understand. If you didn’t like someone, why sleep with them?
She knelt over Dan and took the mouthful of ice-cream he offered her. The gesture was so simple, the look on his face so tender that she accidentally melted a little inside. She liked him. Really liked him in the way she’d managed to not like any guy.
He loved what he did and was fun to be around. He showed what it was like to be someone instead of no one. He made her feel like someone.
It was one thing to think a guy was worth getting her panties off for, but another to want to see him again and again. She was beginning to enjoy seeing Dan entirely too much.
Which was a dangerous thing to do. The next thing she knew she’d be needing him and one day she’d wake up alone and crushed. The future of their dating life and his rising celebrity status flicked through her mind. This wasn’t going to end well. She should walk away now.
But he was smiling as he offered her another spoonful of ice-cream. Sitting here like this felt so normal—it was what she wanted. He was what she wanted in a guy and that was terrifying. The cold raced all the way to her toes.
‘What are we doing?’ Her words were soft, as though she was worried about breaking the moment.
He glanced up, the spoon almost to his lips. ‘Eating ice-cream? Am I doing it wrong?’
She shook her head. No, he was doing everything right. They were supposed to have sex once and never see each other again. She was supposed to have a shiny memory and a warm glow when she heard his music or saw him on stage. Now she wasn’t so sure.
He wasn’t just the bass player anymore. He was a real guy who didn’t shave every day, or dress up when she was coming over. He hadn’t made a single comment about what she was wearing. He’d seen her all dressed up and now like this, with no make-up on and her hair in a knot.
They were entirely too comfortable with each other.
‘It’s just weird for me. Is it weird for you?’ She was boring Indigo from Kal, and he was Dan from
Selling the Sun. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was going to wake up and it was all going to be a dream. Or it was real life and it was going to turn into a nightmare.
‘Why would this be weird?’ Now he was frowning. ‘Eat more ice-cream.’ He offered her the loaded spoon, it seemed more salted caramel sauce than ice-cream.
She hesitated then ate. Maybe she was making it weird and reading too much into what was going on. He was enjoying being single and free, even if he was only being free with her. It was nice to know that he wasn’t sleeping with every fan who offered herself to him.
Have fun while it lasts and quit analysing it.
Or get up and walk away and never come back.
They were her only two options. But when she looked at him she knew she couldn’t walk away; she was having fun with him. She leaned closer and kissed him. His lips were cold and sweet, but his mouth was hot.
‘I can’t stay for too long, my sister thinks I ducked out for ice-cream.’ She wanted to stay all night. Her sister wouldn’t miss her.
‘Keeping me a secret?’
There was nothing to keep secret. ‘She doesn’t need to know about every guy I see.’
There was a flicker of something in his eyes. He put the ice-cream to the side and ran his hands up her thighs.
‘Well then, I wouldn’t want you to be late home.’ He sounded disappointed that she wouldn’t be staying the night.
Is that where they were at? Sleeping over? Well, he had already spent the night at her place. She couldn’t hang around until he got bored or someone else more exciting caught his eye. This wasn’t a relationship, but she could easily see how it could accidentally become one. She needed to regain control of what was happening. Not staying over was a good thing.
It didn’t feel like a good thing. And while he kissed her and undressed her, she could feel a distance that hadn’t been there before. She didn’t like it. The fun had been destroyed by a few careless words.
Chapter 10
While he didn’t want to go to family dinner, he didn’t want to upset his mother. There would be no way to avoid his father and he suspected dinner was going be something like getting intimate with a cactus—painful during and painful after as all the thorns were removed.
He parked in the driveway. His sisters were already here. He checked the time but he wasn’t late. It was a few hours, that was all. They couldn’t force him to do anything, only harp on at him. Nothing he hadn’t heard before. All he had to do was bite his tongue and tell them everything was great.
There would be no mentioning he was now late with his rent to Mike—he hoped Lisa was struggling with hers too—or he was contemplating what else he could sell to fund this temporary shortfall.
He’d get by. He always did. Usually because family money was bailing him out. He’d grown far too used to having that parachute without looking hard at the consequences. Now he was close enough to the ground he could see them, but too close to change his course.
He got out of the car and made the short walk to his short stay in hell.
He didn’t have to stay for dessert, even though it would be his favourite.
And he didn’t have to talk to his father.
As soon as he opened the front door he smelled the roast beef. His stomach growled. He’d run out of cereal, then he’d run out of food altogether. He knew he was going to have to buy some, but not today. He could always mooch around Ed’s place for a meal, that was definitely a possibility. Almost a certainty.
‘Hey, Mum,’ he called as he walked in. He could hear his sisters talking. From the sounds of it they’d brought their partners. Great. Maybe he should’ve brought Indigo. Nah, she was spending time with her sister and they weren’t in a meet the parents’ space. Inflicting his on her wouldn’t be fair, plus she’d probably run a mile.
‘Dan. Been a long time, little brother.’ Grace hugged him.
Lauren gave a wave. His mother smiled. His father was nowhere to be seen. Good.
‘You invited everyone, Mum.’ So much for a quiet family dinner.
She nodded but there was a moment of hesitation. Doubt bloomed in his gut. Had he walked into some kind of set-up? If Lisa had been invited, he was walking straight back out.
‘Would you like a drink, beer or wine?’ Grace had the fridge open.
He was about to say yes, but he was okay for the moment. He’d rather wait until his father started up. Pace himself instead of diving in. ‘I’ll just have a water for the moment.’
Plus he hadn’t eaten. He moved closer to the kitchen island where the dips, chips and homemade mini quiches were.
‘Why don’t you take them to the dining table?’ his mother smiled.
No one ate nibbles at the dining table, it was too formal, but he did as he was told and downed three mini quiches on the way. His sisters and mother followed. Everyone knew exactly where to sit—even his sisters’ partners. Did they ever stop to wonder what kind of in-laws they’d be getting? Or was the bonus off the mortgage worth it?
His gaze scanned the table. The place where his girlfriend was supposed to sit was set. He doubted they had found and invited Indigo. Nor would it be Gemma, the woman even his mother had thought he was seeing on the side just because they worked together.
‘Who else are you expecting?’ he asked even though he knew the answer.
His mother cleared her throat. His sisters looked away.
‘Lisa and I are no longer dating. You didn’t need to invite her.’ He stood up.
A heavy hand landed on his shoulder. ‘She’s part of the family. I made sure she was invited.’
His father took his seat at the head of the table.
Grace mouthed I’m sorry.
‘I might have that beer now.’ He was going to need it.
‘Get me one too,’ his father said.
Dan gave his father a mock salute, mostly because he knew it pissed him off, before leaving his family to plot against him. Did they really think that putting Lisa and him together in a room was going to make it happen? Or was he looking for conspiracies when really there were none? No, there was definitely something afoot.
Well, if they pushed him he’d tell all and see how they felt about her then. He’d tell about the bribe Dad had offered. If things were going to get ugly, he wanted the whole truth on the table for once. He was tired of playing nice.
Nice had got him nowhere.
Nice let people walk all over and take what they want.
Nice people finished last while those who smashed through with a smile and a swagger got everything. Ripley was living proof. If Dan had spent less time blindly rebelling and more time planning he might have come out holding a better hand.
The front door opened and Lisa announced her arrival.
Dan flicked the cap of his beer. ‘They’re all in the dining room.’
She walked into the kitchen, all smiles and heels. Beige. ‘Oh, I’m surprised you came.’
‘If I’d known you were going to be intruding on a family dinner I wouldn’t have bothered.’
‘I was invited.’ She flicked her perfectly coloured and cut hair.
He preferred Indigo’s wild curls.
Dan shook his head. ‘You could’ve said no. This isn’t your family.’
She stalked closer. ‘I’m smarter than you. I know how to play this game. You move back in, we play house. We get the money, and then we break up.’
When had she become this person? Had he really been away so much he hadn’t noticed the changes?
He took a step back. ‘This isn’t the first time he’s given you money, is it?’
When else had their relationship been ensnared? Was any of it real? When they’d been at uni things had been different. But when she’d started working and the band started coming together, something had shifted. Had she been afraid that he’d move on without her?
That thought had never crossed his mind until twelve months ago when she’d flat out said that she wished that he
’d grow up just before the tour had started.
He should’ve recognised his father’s words coming out of her mouth. But he hadn’t and he’d come back as often as he could. Each time she’d try to convince him that there were better jobs, more stable jobs. That they could have a better life or better cars or holidays if he’d just come to his senses. If he complained about anything related to the band she jumped on it.
‘That’s none of your business. But this could be business.’ She reached for him and he sidestepped.
‘Can you hear yourself? You are talking about sleeping with me for my father’s money. There’s a word for that … what is it?’ He took a swig of beer as he stared at her, waiting for her to fill in the blank. He lifted an eyebrow as the pause swelled.
Lisa pressed her lips together then let out an exasperated sigh. ‘You never think of anyone but yourself.’
‘You being the pot to my kettle?’ All she was thinking about was the money.
‘God, you are such a child.’ She turned and flounced into the dining room.
‘You’re the one who wants to get back with me,’ he muttered, then followed. His father would be waiting for his beer. By the time he’d been ten he’d learned that was not an errand to muck around with unless he wanted a slap around the ear.
He plunked his father’s beer down and took his seat opposite Lisa. Conversation hadn’t died. They were acting as though this wasn’t weird at all.
A couple of hours. That was all.
Every time his father wanted a beer Dan helped himself to one too. He assisted his mother in clearing the nibbles, any excuse to get out of the room. He was here for his mother, not them.
‘Why did you do it, Mum?’ She’d know exactly what he was talking about.
‘Lisa loves you.’
‘She loves the money Dad offered her to get me to quit.’
His mother tutted. ‘We’ve given your sisters money so they could buy a house. It’s no different.’
‘I’m not buying a house with her.’ He ditched his empty beer bottle and grabbed another couple, pre-empting his father’s request. ‘If you keep inviting her, I will stop coming.’