Broken Silence

by Jade Buchanan

“Yeah?”

  Rich smirked. “We have minnow races.”

  Matthew laughed. “Seriously?”

  “Oh yeah, there's a prize for each age group. My one cousin is a teacher—well, there's a few teachers—but Susan does an arts and crafts corner. And there's always music. Half of them play instruments.”

  “That's insane. I seriously can't even imagine.”

  Rich snorted as he pictured the reunions. They had such a blast at them. Rented out an entire camp, and just went nuts for a weekend. People everywhere doing whatever they wanted, and then they’d come together for meals and the major events. It was a big deal.

  “We even bring in a priest for mass on Sunday. He's my dad’s cousin so we still keep it in the family. Anyway, so yeah, that's my family. Next question?”

  “What did you want to be when you grew up?”

  Rich frowned. “Didn't really matter. I always knew I'd take over the bar. My Uncle Lou owns the pop distribution in town and he delivers canned and bottled water and various soft drinks to most of Northern Ontario. All the cousins either worked for my dad or Uncle Lou when we were old enough. Cheap labor and all that. Anyway, I did one stint with Uncle Lou driving one of the delivery trucks, but for the most part I always worked at the bar. Cleaning tables when I was younger and then serving alcohol when I turned eighteen. What about you?”

  “I wanted to be a fireman.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh yeah. Have you seen them? Prime manflesh.” Matthew closed his eyes and licked his bottom lip, before winking at Rich.

  Rich guffawed. Oh man. “You must have different firemen in Toronto then, because I've seen the ones here. Uncle Chris is a fireman. Not prime anything.”

  They both laughed. Rich figured it was time to get more serious.

  “First person you slept with?”

  “Tony Matthews. We went to high school together. You?”

  “Missy Andrews. My date to grad.”

  “First guy you slept with?” Matthew stressed.

  Rich frowned. He really didn’t want to go there but he’d started this. He sighed. “His name was Jonah Chevalier.”

  Matthew started. “No shit? I know him. I met him a few months ago when he was back here for his mom’s funeral.”

  “Yeah, don’t spread that around.” Rich grimaced. He could just imagine what the boys would think if they knew.

  Matthew placed a hand on Rich’s thigh before moving it away. “Rich, I wouldn't. I promise.”

  He paused long enough that Rich turned to look at him. Matthew was biting his lower lip.

  “So, you and Jonah?” he asked, hesitantly.

  “Yeah, he's a few years younger than me. We ended up getting caught and he left town and that was that. But I thought we were good for awhile there.”

  Matthew nodded. “Have you ever had a serious relationship?”

  “Just him. Pathetic, eh?”

  “No. Not pathetic. Some people are lucky and find someone they like enough to spend time with. I've never really been in a serious relationship either. By the time I was in nursing school I was so busy I didn't want to commit to something—someone—else. I've had a few boyfriends and a few flings, but nothing really serious. And then I came up here and the prospects decreased slightly.”

  Rich grinned ruefully. “Yeah, there aren't too many out gay people up here.”

  “Well, moving on. Stupidest thing you’ve ever done?”

  Rich was grateful for the change in subject. He wondered if Matthew was trying to make sure he wasn’t too uncomfortable. It was a nice thought, no matter what the intent behind it was. “I set off fireworks in my pocket once. Got my ass tanned for it.”

  “Jesus, you could have hurt yourself.”

  “Yeah, and I ruined a pair of pants. Dad was pissed. It was worse because my Uncle Mike was the attending paramedic. He nearly tanned my hide when he realized what I’d done. Stupid. Damned thing didn’t go off, so I thought it was a dud. Put it in my pocket because I didn’t want to waste it. Few seconds later, kabloom, and I’d burnt my leg. Could have blown it off, so I’m not complaining too much.”

  “Never do anything you wouldn’t want to have to explain to the paramedics.”

  “I had a friend who got his dick stuck in a hot tub. He had to explain that one to the paramedics. We laughed our asses off when we found out.”

  “A friend.” Matthew arched a brow.

  “Yes, smart ass. It was a friend. And, no, you haven't met him. He's living in Winnipeg now. I think, at least. Haven't seen him in a few years.”

  “It’s really too bad there’s no vaccine for stupid.” Matthew put his hands down and started to peel off his sweater. “Geez, it’s hot in here.”

  Rich couldn’t pull his eyes away. The navy sweater was form-fitting, but what lay under it was pure eye-candy. Although, Rich could have done without the baby blue and pink striped polo shirt that was revealed. He figured it probably wouldn’t be in his best interest to make a crack about the pink stripes, so he kept his lips zipped.

  “Where were we?” Matthew asked once he’d dropped the sweater to the floor beside his water glass.

  Rich couldn't take it. He wanted to be with Matthew and it was driving him nuts that they weren't having sex right now. Well, they might not be able to have sex, but that didn't mean he couldn't do something... Maybe he could get Matthew to relax his rules a tiny bit. He wasn't sure why this was so important, but he wanted to touch Matthew.

  The more time he spent in Matthew's company, the more he wanted to spend. And that little act of taking off his sweater had all of Rich's nerves clamoring to touch Matthew. The compact body was fucking hot.

  Maybe he could just take the decision out of Matthew's hands and blow the other man's mind until he wasn't thinking at all. Sounded like a plan to Rich.

  ***

  Rich dropped until he was kneeling at Matthew's feet. Matthew started, and jerked back but Rich wouldn't let him move away. With shaking hands he reached up and snapped open Matthew’s jeans.

  Matthew gasped, reaching for his zipper, but Rich knocked his hands away.

  “Rich? What the hell?” Not that he wasn't happy to oblige the man but they’d just gone over why this was a bad idea. This was totally not what he'd expected. They'd just been sitting there talking and suddenly Rich was making a move on him. Not that he was complaining, but they couldn't have sex.

  “I have a condom. Just let me make you feel good. Please?”

  Matthew knew this was a bad idea. Unfortunately, his exposed dick was now rock hard and clamoring to let Rich do whatever he wanted. Everything he thought he knew about Rich had him thinking this would never happen. He’d figured it would be him giving and Rich receiving, which now that he thought about it felt a little one-sided.

  Still, the thought that Rich was willing to go down on him nearly had his brain exploding. Rich? Big, alpha, closeted Rich was going to give him a blowjob. Matthew wasn’t sure if this was the smartest thing he’d ever done but he nodded anyway.

  Rich grinned up at him before swiping his wallet out of his back pocket and pulling out a condom. His big hands encouraged Matthew to lift up so he could yank his pants down to his knees along with his briefs. That taken care of, Rich expertly rolled the condom on Matthew’s cock. Matthew had just enough time to roll his eyes back in his head before his dick was enveloped in a warm, wet cavern. Strong hands grabbed his hips, fingers digging in. He was probably going to have a bruise in the morning but see if he cared.

  Damn, the man was good with his mouth.

  He had a brief moment to wonder if the taste of latex was ruining it for Rich, but then the man did something with his tongue that had Matthew's eyes rolling back in his head. Matthew twisted both hands in the shaggy locks of Rich’s hair. He pulled lightly, hands convulsing, hoping Rich loved the pressure against his scalp, but too caught up in his pleasure to really care.

  Matthew's knees buckled, slightly embarrassed at how easily aroused he
was but now wasn't the time to try and hold on for more. He’d always had a bit of a hair-trigger, but he had a feeling Rich was going for down and dirty quick at the moment. The steady pressure along his shaft was a certain clue and—holy shit—the hand now cupping his balls was a dead giveaway. Rich kneaded the sensitive skin, pulling all sorts of nerve endings that had Matthew wanting to praise the Lord and the Devil at the same time.

  Grabbing handfuls of hair, Matthew tipped his head back, mouth open on a heartfelt groan. Shit, he wasn't going to last. Rich did something with his tongue that really should be outlawed and Matthew gave up the fight, coming in long pulses into the condom.

  He panted, trying to get his breath back.

  Rich managed to pull himself back up and collapsed beside him on the couch. Matthew made a half-hearted attempt to move enough to reciprocate for Rich, but the other man batted his hand away.

  “It’s fine. I, uh, I came already.”

  Matthew blinked his eyes open, not sure when that had happened, but not questioning it. It was fucking hot that Rich had blown his own wad when he’d been blowing Matthew.

  He wasn’t sure when he’d gotten in over his head, but this couldn’t end well. What was he thinking? And did he care? Matthew was afraid he was already in too far. Rich could really hurt him. What was he going to do?

  Chapter Five

  “Merry Christmas, Matthew.”

  Matthew smiled widely as he entered the room before giving the elderly lady in the bed a gentle hug. “Merry Christmas, beautiful.”

  Elsie patted his hand. “You’re not with your family, dear?”

  Matthew leaned a hip against Elsie’s bedside table. Her family had been in here earlier, but he’d been surprised by how short their stay had been. He wasn’t going to judge, but the sweet lady was one of his favourite patients, so he was slightly partial to her. She’d only been in the hospital a few weeks with a bout of pneumonia that had kicked her in the teeth, but she was doing much better lately, so he had high hopes that they’d be able to release her soon.

  “My family is all down in Toronto this weekend. Dad came up yesterday to pick up Aunt Adeline to bring her back,” he said.

  “Your aunt was quite the troublemaker when she was younger. Did you know that?”

  Figuring she wanted a visit, and knowing he had a few minutes grace, Matthew settled down in the visitor’s chair. “You knew Aunt Addy when she was a girl?”

  “Did I know her? Boy, we grew up together.” Elsie cackled. Her thin frame shook under the fleece nightgown she was wearing. Her pitch-black curls stayed alarmingly in place. He still couldn’t figure out who she thought she was fooling. Her hair looked like shoe polish. But, she was sweet, and he thought it was cute, so he’d punch anyone in the face who said something about it.

  “Yeah, were you two bad?”

  “Oh, this one time. God love her. Funniest thing of all. We all went down to visit her grandparents down in the Lorraine Valley. It was Silver Centre Road at that time. We’d go down and visit and they’d give us potatoes, carrots and whatnot to bring home. Her daddy was driving and Addy and I were in the back of the truck with her brother Billy. Did you ever meet Billy?”

  “No, ma’am. I think he passed before I was born.”

  “That’s right. I forget.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Anyway, this poor old guy was riding his bike on the road. Honest to God this happened. Addy’s daddy had to slow down a wee bit because Stony Hill was really a steep hill and it’s all gravel. As he slowed down, he went to the right a bit to avoid boulders, I guess. Well, Addy stuck her hand out and let it go, and hit the guy in the back of the head. The guy on the bike just flew. Oh my God, I thought she’d killed him because he just laid there. He wasn’t getting up and finally we couldn’t see him. Addy did that. God love her. We did things but it wasn’t really bad. We didn’t kill anyone!”

  Matthew roared with laughter, accompanied by Elsie’s cackling titters. He could just picture his aunt doing that. What a character.

  “Sounds like you guys had fun.”

  “Well, we used to steal corn from Old Rudy. You probably don’t know who that is. He used to live down near North Cobalt. Good man. Had the best corn. Addy and I were married at that time. She’d met Sid and I was with my Bert. Oh, Bert. What a man. You remind me of him, dear. He was short, oh, so short. Barely reached my shoulders.”

  Matthew grinned.

  “But, he had such love in him. God love him. Bert and Sid were driving and those buggers made me and Addy get out to grab the corn. They were going to be the lookouts, see?”

  “But?” This sure wasn’t going to end well.

  “But, Old Rudy came tearing out of his house. It was after midnight, we’d waited until we thought he’d be asleep. So, Old Rudy comes tearing out and he’s got a shotgun and he’s waving it around. Those buggers, they tore off out of there with the tires squealing.”

  “They left you?”

  “We lit into them good when we finally caught up to them. They claimed they were creating a diversion so Old Rudy would think we were all gone. It worked, because Rudy didn’t come into the field. Addy and I were so tearing mad that we wouldn’t share any of that corn with them. Ate it right in front of them, too. I swear, I’ve never seen your aunt so mad before. She was screaming at your uncle. Throwing things and all.” Elsie snickered.

  “Sounds like an adventure, Miss Elsie.”

  “Oh, it was. It was. I’ve lived a good life. Met the man of my dreams, had a parcel of wonderful children and had the best friends. I don’t regret a thing.”

  “And you’re going to have more years to enjoy them.” He checked her oxygen and her IV bag before turning back to her.

  “Well, now. I don’t rightly mind if I don’t. I think I’m getting ready to leave the living to you young ones. I don’t have nearly the energy anymore. You’re a good boy, Matthew. Listening to an old lady reminisce about the old days.”

  “I don’t mind it at all. Sitting here with a beautiful woman on a wonderful holiday? What else do I need?”

  Elsie cackled again. “You must have someone at home? Don’t you want that love?”

  Matthew shrugged. “Doesn’t everyone? But, we’re not all as lucky as you. I’m waiting until I can find a Bert of my own.” The name slipped out before he could watch his words. He wasn’t sure what she was going to say about it, but if she was friends with his Aunt Addy she probably knew he was gay anyway. Maybe.

  She patted his hand again. “You do that. He’s out there for you. Waiting. Just like my Bert. He’s waiting for me, you know? He said that to me, the night before he died. He said, Elsie, I’m going to wait for you. Oh, I miss that man.”

  Elsie sniffed, a tear trickling down her cheek. Matthew leaned over for a tissue and handed it to her. He was feeling a bit sniffly himself now. He wanted that. A love that lasted years, someone who would wait for him, even through death. Now that was romantic. Forget the modern day crap. He wanted an old-fashioned romance.

  He wasn’t old by any stretch of the imagination. But, he watched his parents, and his grandparents. He listened to Aunt Addy talk about her and Uncle Sid. He wanted what they had. He wanted a love that you had to work at. Something that didn’t necessarily come easy, but that you’d be willing to put the time and effort into making work. His dad had said that to him once. That he wanted to be with Matthew’s mom, because she made the work worth it.

  Matthew wasn’t sure when he’d meet his dream man. Maybe he wasn’t ready for it, yet. But, he wanted it. Oh, man, he wanted it.

  “Well, listen to me going off. Like a fart in a glove, aren’t I?”

  Matthew snorted.

  “You best get back to work, young man. Then you can get those leftovers that the ladies will be bringing in tomorrow.”

  “Leftovers?”

  “Didn’t you hear? The poor souls like you who have to work on the holidays always get food on Boxing Day. It’s practically tradition here. Between Edna an
d Betty Brogan they’ll take care of you. Den mothers, the both of them.”

  “Well, that’s something to look forward to, then.” Heck, he didn’t think he’d get a meal at all. He just had to make it through the rest of the day.

  Matthew stood up, adjusting the bright red scrubs he was currently wearing over a long-sleeved white tee. He tipped the edge of his furry Santa hat. “You have a good day, beautiful. I’ll be back in later to check on you again.”

  “Oh, go on with you now. It sure is a shame that I’m not fifty years younger. And male. But, we can’t all have what we want.”

  Matthew roared again, absolutely tickled pink. “You, Miss Elsie, are a treasure. A complete treasure.” He leaned over to kiss her papery cheek.

  She patted his shoulder with one porcelain hand. “I’ll see you later. I’m going to start a petition on the floor to get you nurses to sing carols tonight.”

  “Just get me some eggnog and I’ll sing whatever you want.” Matthew smiled at her before leaving her room. He sauntered back to the nurses’ station and sat down to look at the charts piled up. They didn’t have too many people in over the holidays, but they tried to cheer everyone up if they could. He couldn’t imagine how crappy it would be to be stuck in the hospital at Christmas. Heck, he was just working here and he wished he was at his mom’s house eating dinner right now.

  ***

  “Hey, Rich got tea-bagged.”

  “Jesus, you didn’t just say that.” Rich lightly punched his sister’s shoulder. “It’s a tea strainer.”

  “I think this one is yours too, Rich.”

  He looked at the travel tag Lora was holding. “What the hell?”

  What was up with the Christmas cracker gifts this year? They’d just sat down at the dinner tables and his mom had pulled out the customary crackers for everyone. They were in the restaurant, like always. It was the only place big enough to fit this many people. They varied at each big holiday, but they could get anywhere from ten to eighty people for dinner. Tonight happened to be one of the years where they had a bigger crowd.

  Rich was surrounded by immediate family, extended family, in-laws, out-laws, a few that weren't related to him at all, and a few he wished he wasn't related to.