Broken Silence

by Jade Buchanan

  Lora finally sighed. “Well, this has been fun, but I really should get out of here. Nice seeing you again Neil and Jonah. Matthew, it was really nice to meet you. Hopefully you won't be a stranger now that we've met.”

  “I can't imagine that happening,” Matthew teased.

  “I'll go say goodbye to my beast of a brother. Later, everyone.”

  Matthew waved at her as she pulled on her pea coat and wandered into the kitchen where Rich had gone.

  Jonah finally stood up. “Little boys room. I'll be back in a minute.” He touched Neil's shoulder before he left.

  Neil watched him go, and it made something inside Matthew yearn.

  “So, Matthew. How long are you planning on staying here?”

  “Here, at the bar, or here, in Liskeard?”

  “Liskeard.”

  “I'm honestly not sure. I'm here for my aunt, but I like the ladies at the hospital. Your mom has been really welcoming.” There were a lot of things he needed to figure out before he made any decisions. He watched Rich hug his sister goodbye before he wandered off in the same direction Jonah had taken.

  “She's pretty great, isn't she?” Neil asked, distracting him.

  Matthew turned to give him his full attention. He loved Betty Brogan, so he definitely wanted to make friends with her son. “She sure is. Between her and everyone else on shift with me I've felt really welcomed. Your mom is great. One in a million.”

  “She is that,” Neil said, grinning proudly. “So, you're going to stay?”

  “I haven't thought that far ahead.”

  Neil nodded thoughtfully. “Right. Well, I hope you stay, if you like it here. My mom has only nice things to say about you.”

  Matthew chuckled at that. “That's great to hear.” He looked at his watch. “And speaking of the hospital. I’m on shift in about an hour and I think I’m spending it with your mom. I’ll have to let her know I ran into you. I think I’ve met all your other brothers by now. Except your youngest one.”

  “Yeah, David. He’s living in Calgary with me. He’s in University there, but he’s come back with us for Christmas so you probably did see him around here hanging out with his friends. He kind of looks like a younger me. Genes run true in our family. Not sure if that’s good or not.” He shrugged his shoulders, grinning at Matthew.

  “Geez, I can’t imagine having all those siblings. You guys certainly grow them big up here. Like Rich’s family? There’s a gazillion of them! How is that even possible keeping track of them all?”

  Neil started to laugh. “Trust me, you get used to it. My extended family is pretty big, too. We certainly give the Matheson’s a run for their money, anyway. Big Irish Catholic families, you know? I think there’s just something in the water.”

  Matthew grinned. “Yeah, must be different. I’m an only child myself, and my parents are both only children.”

  “Shit, I can’t imagine not having my brothers. Well, if you spend any more time with Rich, he’ll have you adapted to a big family in no time. I know Jonah certainly is. Of course, he grew up here so he was kinda used to it, but now he’s got to deal with talking to my family every week on the phone and trust me, talking to that many people one after another can take a few minutes.”

  Matthew liked that idea. Although, he wasn’t sure he’d be meeting Rich’s family. He was surprised by how much he wanted to, though. Rich talked about them all the time. Little things, snippets of conversation that he just threw into whatever they were talking about. It made Matthew wonder why he was so scared to come out to them. A family that loving had to support you when you came out. Right? What was Rich so scared about?

  “Hold that thought, I’ll be right back.” Matthew shook his head before heading back to the bathroom. He entered the doors but stopped when he heard voices. There was a curve of wall separating the door from the urinals, and the two men standing on the other side of it couldn't see him yet.

  They obviously hadn't heard the door open, either. Matthew didn't know if he should keep going or turn around but the sound of his name froze him in place.

  “What are you doing with Matthew?”

  “None of your business, Jonah.”

  “I really like him, Rich. If you're just fooling around...”

  “I'm not talking about this.”

  “Look, I just want you to be happy.”

  “Like you are?”

  “Yes, like I am. I've found someone I can be open and honest with. I want the same for you.”

  Rich remained silent and Matthew really wished he could see the look on his face.

  “I heard about your accident.”

  “Everyone did.” Rich said. He didn’t sound like he was happy about that.

  “What happened?” Jonah persisted.

  “I was stupid, what do you think? Look, I'm glad for you, that you've found something with Neil. Just don't expect everyone else to follow in your happy gay footsteps.”

  “Rich, don't you want that?”

  “What I want and what I can have are not always the same thing.”

  “Do you want that?” Jonah persisted.

  “Doesn't everyone? Yes, I want that, but it isn't in the cards for me, Jonah. At least I've realized that.”

  Matthew leaned his head back against the door and huffed out a breath. His heart ached at the despair undercoating Rich's words. He felt suddenly like he was intruding in a horrible way. He wasn't meant to hear this, and he couldn't stay, as much as he wanted to.

  He remembered a conversation he’d had with Jonah, back in the summer when he’d first met him.

  “It won’t bite.” Matthew said, as he held out the letter Jonah’s mother had left with him.

  Jonah smiled slightly. “Will you?”

  Matthew instantly started to laugh. Oh, that was nice. He’d nearly forgotten what it felt like to have a guy flirt with him up here. “I just might, so be careful.”

  “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

  “No, don’t apologize. Trust me, you have no idea how nice it is to meet another guy up here that doesn’t run screaming at the sight of me.”

  “Merde, don’t I know what that feels like.” Jonah led them outside, heading for a small bench around the corner.

  Matthew perched on the edge of the bench, bringing one leg up so he could face Jonah. “How’d you live here for so long? I mean, I’ve been here a handful of months and already I want to poke my eye out at the looks on some guy’s face, and I’m not even out here.”

  “Yeah, that doesn’t much matter. They all assume you’re gay anyway. This isn’t exactly the most open-minded town. Well, I shouldn’t say that. There are a lot of really good people that just keep quiet. It’s the vocal assholes you have to ignore. There’s a handful of them and they’ll make your life hell if you let them. Besides... I’m not exactly out here, either.”

  How things had changed for Jonah. Matthew was happy for him. He was sad that Rich couldn’t have that same happiness, though. Or felt like he couldn’t.

  Silently, he opened the door at his back and left the bathroom for the main area of the restaurant.

  Neil was still sitting at the long bar, watching TV, and he looked over at Matthew's approach. “Geez, did Jonah fall in or something?”

  “Eh? Oh, no, I didn't go to the bathroom. Got distracted by something.”

  “Hmm.”

  They sat quietly for a few minutes before Rich and Jonah came back and joined them again. Matthew studied Rich's face but the other man didn't give any indication of what they'd just been talking about.

  He didn't know what to do with it. They were just fooling around, right? So, why was he so heartbroken at the idea that Rich thought he couldn't have a happily ever after? Matthew was going to leave here as soon as something happened with his aunt. He never had any intention of staying full time. Right?

  Sure, he'd had a crush on Rich, and he'd really enjoyed being able to spend time with him over the past weeks, but they were just playing at the end
of the day. Weren't they?

  Hell, Rich couldn't even admit what they were doing together. He wasn't even out. Matthew couldn't just show up at the bar and kiss him the way Neil kissed Jonah. Even if they were in a relationship, as long as Rich was still in the closet, they couldn't ever have what Neil and Jonah did.

  So, the question Matthew needed to ask himself was, did he want that? Did he want to try for that with Rich? Could he risk the attempt to form a relationship only to have it all come crashing down around him?

  His musings were interrupted when Neil and Jonah finally stood up to leave.

  They said their goodbyes to Rich, and if things were stilted between Rich and Jonah, Neil didn't say anything and neither did Matthew.

  “Well, if you're still here next time we come out east, we'll have to get together, Matthew,” Jonah said.

  “Definitely. Have a safe trip home.” He waved them off before studying Rich silently.

  “You still have time for a breather?” he asked.

  Rich nodded before picking up the empty dishes. “Yeah. Not sure where we're going to go, but if you want to take a few before going to work, I'm free.”

  “We can go upstairs, can't we? There's no one here now.”

  It was true, the place had emptied out while they were sitting here talking to Neil and Jonah. It was just Matthew and Rich and whoever was in the kitchen.

  “Why don't you head up there and I'll let Uncle Henry know I'm taking a break.”

  Matthew picked up his jacket and slowly made his way upstairs. It felt weird to be in Rich's inner sanctum without the other man here. Especially after what he'd heard downstairs. It felt like he was intruding. He shook his head at the thought and pulled off his boots at the front door. He hung his jacket in the small closet next to the door, and tossed himself on the couch.

  It wasn't long before Rich entered the apartment and sat on the couch beside him.

  He wasn’t sure who made the first move, but suddenly they were in each other’s arms. Rich held him tight, pulling him close. Matthew sighed, lifting his chin for the lips that suddenly came closer. He kissed Rich, moaning in to the other man’s mouth. They clung together, embracing, their lips moving slowly. The kiss was languid, relaxed.

  He whimpered, pressing tighter to Rich, determined that this didn’t end.

  Rich moved back imperceptibly. “Hush...” he said, soothingly.

  Matthew moved forward, making up the small space and pressing his lips tight to Rich again. He opened his mouth, accepting Rich’s tongue, drawing it deep into his mouth.

  Rich angled him backward, until he was lying back on the sofa. Rich followed him down, never letting go of his lips.

  Rich covered him from above, obviously content to take things slow. Neither man made any effort to speed things up.

  This was so different from anything they’d done before. All their previous unions had been hard and fast. They’d been too caught up for anything else. But, this felt different.

  Matthew wasn’t willing to break the spell by questioning it.

  Clothes were removed slowly, until they were both lying naked. Matthew shifted, his cock bumping against Rich’s. Both men moaned at the contact.

  Rich grabbed Matthew’s dick in his palm, squeezing in time to the thrust of his tongue in Matthew’s mouth. Matthew bucked his hips, encouraging Rich. He managed to free one arm that had been clinging to Rich’s back. Sliding his hand down Rich’s side, he touched as much of the other man as he could. He didn’t want this to end.

  When he reached Rich’s hip, Matthew slid his hand along, searching for his thick cock. They jerked each other slowly, long teasing touches that went from root to tip. Matthew groaned.

  Soon, it wasn’t enough for Matthew. He needed Rich inside him.

  “Please, Rich.”

  Rich nodded, releasing Matthew to allow them both to stand. They quietly made their way into Rich's bedroom, kissing each other as they went. Matthew ran his hands over Rich's body, wanting to feel as much of the other man as he could. It didn't take long for Rich to pull out the tube of slick, and get himself ready with a condom.

  Matthew lay down on the bed and brought up his legs, holding them at the knee. He stared steadily back at Rich, never taking his eyes off the other man. Rich bent down, licking a path down one ass cheek. Matthew quivered, his legs shaking.

  Rich steadied him with one hand on his hip, pressing his face close to Matthew’s hole. He licked again, a single swipe through Matthew’s crack, paying special attention to the small opening. Matthew arched his back. The other man could do whatever he wanted as long as it led up to him fucking Matthew so hard he couldn't feel his legs after.

  Rich moved in for the kill, sucking and licking at Matthew’s hole, running his tongue around and around the opening.

  He writhed in place, finally ready to beg Rich to fuck him. He couldn’t stand this any more.

  “Rich...”

  “I know.”

  Rich reared up and grabbed the slick again. He slowly prepared Matthew's ass, scissoring his fingers inside his hole until Matthew was a whimpering, quivering mess. Finally, Rich backed off and tossed the bottle to the floor beside the bed. He reared up over Matthew and settled himself on top of him. Their lips met in a tender kiss. Rich placed his right hand by Matthew’s head, holding his cock with the other. Leaning down for another, this time, bruising kiss, he lined his cock up against Matthew’s entrance.

  Matthew couldn’t look away when Rich started to press into him. The man completely owned him whenever he fucked him and Matthew would gladly do anything as long as this didn't stop. He loved the feeling. He could get used—

  No, he shut off that line of thought immediately, closing his eyes.

  “Look at me.”

  Matthew opened his eyes, staring up at the man above him. Rich’s face was flushed, and his teeth were bared.

  Matthew wrapped his legs around Rich’s waist and pressed his heels into the man’s thighs, just under his flexing ass. Rich purred, leaning down to capture his mouth again.

  The men moved together, completely in synch.

  He gasped when Rich hit that spot inside his ass destined to drive him absolutely out of his mind. He arched his back, trying to get Rich to hit that magical button again. Rich chuckled, slowing down his strokes and teasing Matthew.

  “Please, Rich, please.” Matthew tossed his head to the side.

  Rich sighed, languidly stroking his cock inside Matthew, driving them both to the edge.

  Rich panted, arching his back and thrusting harder. He dropped his head, resting it on Matthew’s forehead. The two men stared at each other while Rich picked up the pace, both gasping toward their orgasms. They came seconds apart, Rich’s hand on Matthew’s cock coaxing his seed out of him. The tight clamp of Matthew’s ass proved too much for Rich. With a yell, he spurted his release inside the condom.

  Both men panted for breath.

  Finally, Rich rolled off him, sliding to the side. He gathered Matthew close, resting on his back and pulling Matthew against his side. Laying a kiss on Matthew’s brow, he closed his eyes. Matthew studied him, watching his face relax.

  Well, what the hell was he going to do now?

  Chapter Seven

  He couldn't believe they were leaving this morning. Hell, he couldn't believe he'd been hanging around with Matthew for over two months now and things still weren't slowing down. What the fuck did that mean?

  Regardless, he was about to take his very first big trip. Fucking A.

  “There's Andrew!” Matthew yelled out.

  Rich followed his path to spy a guy standing near their gate. Well, shit. Could he possibly look any more gay?

  Andrew looked similar enough to Matthew that the two could be brothers instead of friends. But, where Matthew was clad in a sensible pair of jeans, plain navy sweater and a pair of black runners, Andrew practically had the words flaming homo written on his forehead. What he actually had written on him was the silver s
equined phrase “don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me” written on a pale purple tee and a pair of jeans so tight Rich figured they might just split at the seams if he sat down.

  Jesus Fucking Christ.

  “Not a word,” Matthew hissed.

  Well, how the hell was he going to refrain himself? Did Matthew expect a fucking miracle or something?

  Actually, it seemed like that was what he was going to get, because Rich manfully held back every word he was thinking when he was introduced to Andrew.

  “Matthew!”

  The two met in a hug like they hadn't seen each other in a decade instead of the three weeks Rich knew it had been. Matthew had made another trip to Toronto just after the New Year to see some play and he'd stayed at Andrew's house again.

  Rich remembered it vividly, because Matthew had returned north saying that Andrew had tried to set him up again. Rich wasn't amused then, and he still wasn't amused now.

  “Andrew, meet Rich. Rich, Andrew.”

  “Well, hello there,” Andrew practically purred.

  Whatever that meant. “Hi.” Rich nodded.

  “You can sit next to me on the plane.”

  Rich wasn't sure he could possibly widen his eyes any more. “I'm sitting beside Matthew.”

  “Shame.”

  “Andrew, behave yourself,” Matthew said.

  “Whatever, I'm always behaved.”

  “No, you aren't.”

  A blonde beauty crashed into Matthew and hugged him tightly. “Matthew, it's so good to see you again. And you must be Rich. Hi, I'm Amanda, Andrew's sister, and this is my girlfriend, Tina.”

  Rich studied the butch-looking woman standing behind Amanda before putting his hand out and shaking both of theirs. “Hi.”

  “And, I'm Nathan. No worries, I'm staying with Andrew, so you don't have to worry about him.” The quiet bearded man who had snuck up beside them looked more normal than Andrew did. He was wearing skinny jeans and a black tee, at least. At least until Rich looked down and realized he was also wearing a pair of stiletto heels. Wow. Okay, this was either going to be a great trip or something he'd regret for a few months.