“Babe, if that’s my reward, no problem.”
“Come on, I have so much to show you.” Matthew grinned up at him and grabbed his hand.
Rich followed without saying anything. He smiled to himself, loving the feel of Matthew’s palm in his. Yeah, he could get used to this.
Chapter Eight
Matthew threw his hands up in the air and screamed as he hit the jackpot. Okay, well, it wasn’t a huge jackpot, but fifty bucks was still a nice chunk of change when he was playing with a five dollar bill.
Nathan jumped up and down beside him, managing not to turn an ankle in his four inch pumps. Matthew grinned at the thought. Rich would have been rolling his eyes if he saw them like this. Too bad Rich had deserted them for a blackjack table as soon as they’d entered the slots area. He wasn’t even sure if Rich knew how to play blackjack but he wasn’t the man’s babysitter, after all, so he’d find him later.
“What’d you win?” Andrew asked as he threw an arm around Matthew’s shoulder.
“Fifty.” Matthew swiveled his seat around before he grabbed for one of the soft pretzels Andrew had brought back with him. He was starving. “Did you see Rich anywhere?”
“I wasn’t looking for Lumberjack. Sorry, bitch.”
“Stop calling him that. He’s not a lumberjack.”
“No, he’s a bartender. That’s so much better.”
“Andrew, your snarky bitch is showing,” Nathan murmured. “It’s not a good look, honey.”
“Whatever. Are you guys ready to move again? I’m bored.”
Matthew looked around. There were too many people to see anything, but he thought the tables were over to their left. He kept getting lost in the casino, though, so he didn’t want to move just in case Rich came back here. The bigger man was like a homing pigeon. This was Rich’s first time to Vegas and yet he was able to find his way through the slots with expert precision. Matthew had no idea how he did it. He’d been here before and he still got lost every time he set foot in any casino. Each building was like a maze. Giant, five block long mazes.
“I don’t want to lose Rich.”
“Then text his ass and tell him where we’re going.”
Matthew pursed his lips. He could do that. Or he could just go and find Rich. They were supposed to be spending time together, after all. “I’ll meet up with you guys later.”
“Matthew, we’ll never find you if you wander off now. Let’s just all go find Lumberjack since you’re so freaking worried about him.”
“I’m not worried. I just don’t want to lose him. This is only our first night on the Strip.”
“Who cares? It’s not like he can get lost. He’s a big boy and knows how to catch a cab.”
“Andrew,” Matthew murmured. He wasn’t going to get into this.
“Seriously, Matthew. I don’t understand what you’re doing with him. I mean, sure, it’s nice that you invited him and that’s great and all, but do you honestly see this going anywhere?”
“Andrew!” Nathan gasped.
“I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m trying to be honest.”
It was only the fact that they’d been best friends forever that made Matthew understand where Andrew was coming from. The problem was that his question was one that Matthew couldn’t answer.
“You’ve been dating for how long?” Andrew persisted.
“Two months.”
“And in that two months, how many dates have you actually had with him?”
Matthew sighed, leaning against the slot machine before rocking his seat back and forth. “We both work a lot. And it’s not that easy to get together when he lives over the bar and I live with my aunt. What are we supposed to do? We talk or text every day.”
“Matthew, do not make me pull out my big boy voice. How many times?”
He crossed his arms. “Like five.” He knew it sounded bad. But, there were extenuating circumstances. And he’d been telling the truth when he said they talked or texted every day. It was something that he looked forward to, whether he was working or not. They talked about everything. He thought Rich might know more about him than Andrew did at this point. How had he gotten to the point where he didn’t feel right if he didn’t talk to Rich at least once a day?
“Five dates in two months? And now you’re all happy happy gay boyfriends? Is he even out of the closet yet? Can you touch him in public without him kicking your ass? Do his friends know that you’re fucking friends with benefits?”
“It’s only been two months. It’s not like I’m ready to tattoo his name on my arm or buy matching rings.”
Andrew pushed into his space, his face more serious than Matthew had seen it in awhile. “You look me straight in the eyes, Matthew, and tell me that you don’t have feelings for him. Don’t you dare lie to me, either.”
Matthew couldn’t. “It doesn’t matter. Yes, I have feelings for him. I’m not sure what they are yet, or what they mean, but it doesn’t matter. Rich is not like us, he needs time.”
“And you think time is going to make everything better? You think he’s ever going to invite you over for Christmas dinner with his family?”
“I don’t know. What do you want me to say? I’ll deal with that when it happens, but I went into this with my blinders off. I knew he was in the closet, I knew that he might never want to come out of the closet. I moved forward anyway, so I owe it to both of us to see where this goes.”
“Regardless of whether it’ll hurt you?”
He grabbed Andrew’s hand. “Will I get hurt? Probably. But, it’s my choice. Just like it’s Rich’s choice whether he wants to come out or not. I’m not going to force him to do anything. That’s not fair. Not everyone has the same path, and pushing someone to make a huge decision like that before he’s ready is mean. Forcing Rich to come out, or outing him without his permission is one of the meanest things I could ever do. I will do everything in my power to make sure I don’t screw up and do something that will hurt him.”
“You know it’s not that easy. How are you going to stop yourself from touching him after this week?”
God, he hated Andrew for asking that question, because it was the one thing that had circled his brain over and over again since they’d arrived here. Rich was so free at the moment, it was like he was a different person. The weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he looked good. But, there was no telling what he’d do when they returned to Northern Ontario. Matthew wasn’t going to fool himself into believing that everything would work itself out and Rich would get off the plane singing show tunes and immediately tell his parents he was gay.
Hell, he wasn’t even sure they knew Rich was here with Matthew. Matthew hadn’t wanted to ask Rich what his cover story was. They all probably thought Rich was alone this week. Or with a girlfriend. Maybe that’s what he’d told them. He’d been careful at the hospital to tell them he was just spending some time with his friends, just in case they added two and two and realized that Matthew and Rich were together this week.
Hell, he’d already started lying about them. Andrew was right. Where was this going to stop? He couldn’t possibly keep track of everything in his mind and he was bound to slip up when they returned home. Would Matthew be able to go back to hiding their relationship? Would he be content to see Rich once every two weeks, after they slept together every night and spent every day together for a solid week?
“Incoming,” Nathan said, interrupting Matthew’s thoughts. Hell, Nathan had been so quiet, Matthew had nearly forgotten he’d been standing beside them.
“What?” Matthew asked.
Nathan pointed over his shoulder. “Better postpone the heart to heart. Your man is coming back.”
Matthew looked up to see that Nathan was right. Rich was currently weaving through the throngs of excited people smoking and drinking in front of the slot machines. He waved at the bigger man, gratified when Rich lifted a hand in return.
“Hey, did you win anything?” Matthew asked as soon as Ric
h reached their little corner of Vegas.
Rich greeted him with a kiss and a hug. His hands slipped down and he cupped Matthew’s ass where he was sitting on the chair. Matthew giggled and slapped Rich aside. Rich shrugged it off and propped a hip against the slot machine next to them.
Matthew had a split second to wonder if they were going to be kicked out because they technically weren’t playing at the moment. But, their little area had cleared out a bit, so it wasn’t like there were people lining up to use the machines.
“Nah. Lost some. They keep bringing you drinks. Did you know that? It’s like an all you can drink. And the dealer was really fun at my table. He was giving me tips and everything.”
Matthew grinned at the excitement in Rich’s voice.
“Genius, it’s so you keep spending money,” Andrew snarked.
Okay, that was it. “Enough, Andrew.” Matthew loved his friend but he didn’t need the added headache he was causing tonight.
“Thanks, asshole. How much did you win?” Rich said, ignoring Matthew.
“More than you did.”
“I won fifty bucks,” Matthew interrupted.
Rich finally drew his attention away from a bristling Andrew to look down at Matthew. “That’s great. You buying me dinner with that?” he asked with a smile.
“I’m stuffed. I just had a pretzel,” Matthew teased.
“Oh, come on. You couldn’t come over and share that with me?” Rich put an arm around Matthew and pulled him in toward his larger body.
Matthew snuggled in closer, tucking his head against Rich’s torso. It wasn’t the most comfortable position since he was still sitting down, but he wasn’t going to do anything when Rich was making the first move like this. “Sorry, dollface. I was famished.”
“Shit, I could eat a horse right now. Wasn’t there a food court over there?” He pointed vaguely toward their left.
Matthew turned to look, but he was so turned around inside here that he had no idea where the food court was. “Somewhere. Lead the way, homing pigeon.”
“Ha ha, funny guy.” Rich took him at his word and pulled Matthew up to stand beside him. Without releasing his hand, he started to tug Matthew in the direction he’d pointed before. “Come on before I decide to eat your slot receipt.”
Matthew was just about to make a crack about eating his slot when he decided he didn’t want to encourage Andrew who was walking sullenly beside him.
A bejeweled hand reached from behind them and smacked Andrew on the shoulder.
“Behave,” Nathan admonished.
“I’m behaving,” Andrew sulkily replied.
They managed to reach the food court without any trouble, and after waiting in line they found a table. Matthew picked at his salad while Rich chowed down on a meal bigger than the one he’d eaten at dinner.
Nathan and Matthew made small-talk about the people around them while Andrew sat across from Matthew and swung his foot back and forth. Rich was too busy eating to contribute to anything.
Suddenly, Andrew straightened and aimed a searching glance at Rich. Oh, Matthew didn’t like the look of that.
“Matthew and I were talking earlier about when we used to hang out in all the bars back in University. We had so much fun. Matthew here was a real troublemaker.”
Rich snorted. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah. He used to pick up all the little gay boys.”
Matthew took a sip of his Coke and shook his head at Andrew. What was his friend up to, now?
“Well, it’s a good thing he doesn’t do that anymore,” Rich said, letting out a laugh.
Matthew bumped arms with Rich before briefly resting his head on Rich’s muscular shoulder. He straightened and took another sip of pop. He definitely wasn’t picking up the boys anymore. He was stuck on one man in particular.
“You must have some tales yourself. I imagine a big strapping lumberjack like you was quite popular in your hometown.” Andrew lifted his brows comically.
Matthew shook his head at his friend. What was Andrew up to?
“Oh, man. Yeah, I’ve got stories. Years ago I picked up this chick from a bar for a bit of fun. My buddy and I were going to tag her, so we’re—”
“Tag her?” Andrew interrupted.
“Yeah, you know, both do her?”
“Like tag team her? Wow, that’s so classy.”
“You want me to finish the story?”
“By all means, please finish the story. I’m enthralled.” Andrew waved his hand imperiously.
Matthew glared at his friend, silently trying to tell him to shut up. Under the table, he kicked Andrew’s leg and was gratified when the idiot yelped.
Rich shrugged, but obviously decided to keep going. “So, we’re driving out in the woods going to my buddy’s cabin when the girl needed to pee. My buddy pulls over to the side of the road, and she gets out to do her business.”
“Wait, what buddy was this?” Matthew couldn’t help himself from asking.
“Doobie.”
“Ah, gotcha.” He should have known.
“Anyway, she’s doing her stuff, and Doob decides he wants to watch her. I thought that was gross, but I wasn’t driving so I couldn’t do much about it. Doobie starts to back up to get a good view and we hear a thump thump.”
Matthew cocked his head. Oh, no. “Please tell me you didn’t?”
“Yeah, Doob hit her. We had to backtrack and take her to the hospital in Liskeard.” Rich started to laugh.
Unable to help himself, Matthew looked over at Andrew and Nathan to see them both stunned silent, their mouths open and horrified looks on their faces as they stared at Rich. A giggle escaped him before he could stop it and now they were staring at him like he had two heads. Matthew couldn’t stop laughing, his peals mixing in with Rich’s lower baritone until he was holding his sides and hooting.
“Matthew!” Andrew slapped his arm.
“Oh, come on. She wasn’t hurt. He just tapped her,” Rich said.
“It probably wasn’t the last time either one of you tapped some random chick.” Andrew rolled his eyes.
Okay, that was it. Matthew drew his shoulders up.
“My feet are killing me,” Nathan interrupted. “It’s nearly time for the shuttle to pick us up from the front. You guys ready to go back?”
Grateful for the change of subject, Matthew nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I’m kind of tired. I wouldn’t mind going back early. Maybe we can put on our swim trunks and laze in the hot tub back at the resort.”
“Whatever,” Andrew shrugged.
The three friends stood up. Matthew leaned on one of Rich’s shoulders now that he had the opportunity to tower over his seated boyfriend.
Nathan and Andrew started walking toward the entrance, whispering about something. Matthew hoped Nathan was telling Andrew to calm it down. He’d be having his own conversation with his friend later, but he didn’t want to say anything else in front of Rich. No point making his boyfriend uncomfortable.
“You coming?” he asked when Rich just sat there.
Rich shook his head before finally standing up. “Nah, I think I’m going to stick around for a bit longer. Maybe check if there’s a pub nearby. I can steal some ideas for our place.”
Matthew didn’t like the sound of that. “You’re not coming with us? But... Well, I guess I can stay a bit longer.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m a big boy. You go back, and I’ll catch a cab later. I’m not tired.”
He wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted Rich to come back to the resort with him, but Rich was right. He was a big boy, and if he wanted to stay then Matthew wasn’t going to make a big deal about it. “Do you want me to walk you over there, at least?”
“I’ll find it. It’s not like I’m going to get lost. Kinda hard to miss the buildings here.”
“Well, I guess that’s fine.”
“Cool. I’ll see you later, then.” Rich pressed a perfunctory kiss to Matthew’s forehead before waving to Nathan an
d Andrew who had stopped further ahead. His long-legged stride had him quickly moving away from them.
Matthew stood for a moment, staring at Rich’s retreating figure. What the hell? What had just happened?
Chapter Nine
Rich unlocked the door, trying to be quiet. With his luck he’d probably trip over a pair of heels and crack his head open on the coffee table. He toed his sneakers off before tiptoeing down the hallway. The last thing he wanted was to accidentally wake up either Nathan or Andrew.
Opening the door to the master bedroom and turning on the light, he spied Matthew curled up on his side of the bed. Stopping at the sight, Rich closed the door behind him and leaned back against it. He wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing.
Stripping off his clothes, he crawled in beside Matthew and curled up beside the smaller man.
Matthew snuffled in his sleep before jerking awake. “Wha?”
“It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”
Rubbing his eyes, Matthew rolled over to face him. “You’re back?”
“Yeah.”
“What time?”
“About two. Go back to sleep.”
“I’m surprised I fell asleep. I was waiting up for you.”
Rich shook his head. “Why?”
“I just wanted to see if you were okay.”
Was Rich okay? He’d done a lot of thinking while he’d been wandering around the Strip. It was something else, that was for sure. All glittery lights and people dressed up in their finest mixed in with folks in jeans. But, he’d been surprised by how fake it all felt. Sure, it was impressive, but there was an air about the place that made him feel like it was just a veneer. People came here for a fantasy, and they lived it while it lasted. The desperation on the faces at his table were enough to make him realize this wasn’t what he wanted.
It was scary how much that represented his life right now. He was tired of putting on a fake front.
But, what was he going to do about it? He shrugged, tuning back into Matthew’s comment. Was Rich okay? “I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry Andrew’s being an asshole.”
Broken Silence Page 13