He stood up and started stripping off his clothes. His phone dropped out of his pants and before Matthew could react, Rich had thrown it against the wall. It bounced—thanks to the handy rubber cover—and came back like a slingshot to hit Rich in the forehead.
Matthew couldn’t do anything but stare in shock.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Rich bent over and grabbed his head.
“Oh, for God’s sake. Get over here so I can see it.” Matthew stood up in the tub and waved his hand at Rich.
With an air of resignation, Rich came closer so Matthew could poke and prod at him. He whined like a wounded tiger the entire time, but there wasn’t anything but a bruise. Matthew pulled his head down so he could kiss it better.
“I think that’s enough for one day.” He sat back down in the water and stared up at Rich.
“For one day or for...?”
“For the day. I’m too tired to go over this anymore.” He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but the truth was that he was just too tired. He either cared enough about Rich to make this work, or he didn’t. Honestly? He was willing to overlook it, as long as Rich didn’t lie to him again. He wanted to try. He wanted to make things work. One fuck up didn’t mean that Matthew was going to abandon Rich and forget everything they’d been working toward.
They stared at each other before Rich made an aborted movement.
“Yes, you can come in with me. Hurry up before the water cools.”
Rich nodded, and finished peeling off his clothes. He dropped them beside the tub but Matthew figured they could pick them up later.
He scooted forward in the tub so Rich could step in behind him. With a sigh Matthew relaxed back against Rich’s chest and took another sip of his wine. He held up the glass so Rich could drink from it, too.
“You should have brought the bottle in.”
“Yeah, hindsight.”
There was nothing else to say, really.
Chapter Eleven
“So, how much did you lose overall, Rich?” Andrew asked, leaning over Matthew.
They were on the plane coming home and Matthew couldn’t wait to sleep in his own bed again. Well, technically it wasn’t really his bed, but whatever. He was sad that Rich wouldn’t be sharing it with him anymore, though.
“I’m coming back with the same thing I came with,” Rich replied.
“What, herpes?” Andrew asked in response.
“Oh, dear God,” said a lady behind them.
Rich and Andrew started to laugh.
Matthew covered his face with both hands. Wow. He wasn’t going to miss this at all. They were going to kill him if they spent any more time together.
“Who’s the boss, now?” Andrew crowed.
“Ted Danson,” Matthew muttered behind his hands.
Rich groaned before moving one of Matthew’s hands and staring into his exposed eyes. “You mean Tony Danza, right?”
He shrugged. “Close enough.” He liked the put upon look on Rich’s face.
The rest of their flight was fairly uneventful, thank the Lord. Once they’d landed in Toronto he made a quick phone call to his dad to let him know he was back in Canada. His dad had been nice enough to take the same week off work so he could stay with Aunt Addy while Matthew was on holiday. Considering his dad was already semi-retired, he didn’t mind a bit. Besides, he’d grown up in New Liskeard so he still had friends he could spend time with and Matthew’s dad could technically work from anywhere as long as he had a computer.
Rich went with Nathan to grab their bags while Andrew and Matthew went to the little boys’ room.
“Well, he’s not Quasimodo, but he’s still not good enough for you,” Andrew said as they reached the baggage carousels.
Matthew shook his head good-naturedly. “I love you, Andrew.”
“Honey, I love you too.”
They hugged each other before parting. “Call me the minute you get home. Rich is driving so I can answer my cell.”
“As long as you do the same,” Andrew said. “I want to make sure Lumberjack doesn’t take you off somewhere in the woods so he can do nasty nasty things to your unsuspecting body.”
Matthew rolled his eyes. “I could only be so lucky.”
Rich came up to them just as they were set off into peals of laughter. He shook his head and refrained from asking what they were laughing at. Matthew was glad. There were just some things that his boyfriend didn’t need to know.
They said goodbye to the girls and Nathan, while Andrew tried to hug Rich and Rich did everything he could to avoid Andrew. Matthew ended up leaving the airport with a happy heart.
The ride north was about as uneventful as the plane ride. They were in this weird zone right now where neither one of them knew what to say. Matthew figured they were both caught up on the fact that things were going to be different once they reached Temiskaming Shores. They’d been free in Vegas and had taken advantage of that. They’d kissed and hugged and walked down the street holding hands. They’d even stopped to watch the water show in each other’s arms. Well, Matthew had been snuggled into Rich’s arms, but it was the same thing.
What was going to change now that they were heading back to a place where Rich wasn’t even out to his family, let alone the town? They’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms, and now they were going to sleep apart and sneak in sex whenever Matthew wasn’t working and the bar was closed. Or when Matthew’s aunt was out of town.
Maybe this Vegas trip hadn’t been the brightest idea.
But, they’d managed to survive it. Between Andrew and Rich’s new friend, Tammy, they’d survived it all. They were closer now, thanks to all of it, too. They’d had misunderstandings, and dealt with issues that still needed to be talked about, but overall, he was happy.
He didn’t want it to end.
All too soon Rich was pulling up into Aunt Addy’s driveway. They sat in silence for a moment while Matthew tried to prepare himself to say goodbye.
“I’m so glad you came,” he said.
“Me too.”
“Really?”
Rich turned to face him. “I had a lot of fun. I’m glad you let me come with you.”
“I’ll see you soon?” He didn’t care how desperate he sounded.
“As soon as we can manage.”
Right. Whenever that happened to be. Matthew sighed. “Okay, well, I better say goodbye. Thanks for driving and everything.”
“See you, Matt.”
Matthew pressed his hand down against Rich’s thigh, grateful when Rich covered it with his own and held on tight. He let everything he was feeling out into the look he gave Rich. He wished things were different and they could kiss right now, but he didn’t want to push Rich right now. Not yet.
“Bye.” He finally opened the door and went around to pick up his suitcase from the trunk. Like an idiot, he stood in the driveway while Rich backed out and drove down the street.
Finally, Matthew brought himself to go into the house. He was stunned to see packing boxes greet him in the kitchen. What the hell.
“Aunt Adeline? I’m home!”
“Well, of course you’re home. Haven’t I been watching you and that Matheson boy sitting in the driveway for nearly fifteen minutes? I was just about to go out there and interrupt you. I’m going to be late.”
“Late for what?” He finally realized she was dressed up to go out in one of her fancy dresses and gloves on her hands.
She pointed to a tray of squares like that answered his question.
Matthew shook his head. “Eh?”
“Elsie Spetzer passed. Her funeral is in an hour.”
“What?” He’d just had her as a patient in December. Matthew sat down hard on a kitchen chair, dropping his suitcase beside him. “What happened?”
“Matthew, she was an old woman. What do you think happened? Life got to her. She passed in her sleep. It was painless, the ladies told me.”
“What ladies?”
“The ones at th
e home. I was over there yesterday getting the gossip while I picked up my paperwork.”
“What paperwork?” He felt like he was missing half the conversation.
“Elsie passing means her room is open at the home. I’m next on the waiting list.”
“Waiting list?”
“At the home. Your father brought me over yesterday to make sure I liked her room. I did. So, I’m going to sell this house. We put it on the market yesterday afternoon, but no takers yet. I’m going to need your help packing all this up, but I need to decide what I’m taking first. It’s a bit of a rush, but these things happen when someone dies and an opening is created.”
“Right.” What was he supposed to say to that?
“I’ve loved having you here with me, young man, but I won’t be needing you anymore. Your father thought you’d want to move back to Toronto, so you just let me know what you need. I understand you might need to put in notice at the hospital and I’m not sure how long that takes. I’m not sure how long the house will be for sale, but you’re welcome to stay here until someone buys it. Or you could move out to one of the apartments in town if there’s something free. I surely do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
Matthew nodded his head. “Of course. You’re family.”
Aunt Addy leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “You’re a good boy.”
“God, I can’t believe Elsie is gone. She was in the hospital at Christmas and I got to spend some time chatting in her room. She told me all sorts of stories about you and her.”
Aunt Addy laughed at that. “Oh, yes. We were quite the troublemakers when we were younger. What did she tell you?”
Matthew couldn’t believe he’d forgotten to tell Aunt Adeline this when she’d come back from spending Christmas with the family in Toronto. But, he’d had other things on his mind at the time. “She told me about the corn.”
“Oh, the corn. I was so mad at your uncle and Bert. Hooligans, the two of them.”
“Yeah, that’s what it sounded like.”
“Miss Elsie wasn’t much better, I tell you. She was such a special lady, though. Did you know, she was quite the crafter. She once made a dress out of a tablecloth. I kid you not. She was supposed to go to this event, I can’t remember what it was. But, she didn’t have anything new to wear. Bert wasn’t that rich, you know? He didn’t have a lot of money, and they had to make ends meet. But, she was resourceful. Took the tablecloth right off the table and made herself a new dress with it. Well, by golly, I couldn’t believe it when I saw it.”
Wow. Matthew couldn’t imagine doing something like that.
Aunt Addy sniffed, wiping the tears from her eyes, and looking at him. “Well, enough of that. Are you driving me to the funeral home?”
Matthew looked up at his Aunt Addy, taking in the fancy dress and gloves she wore. He thought about the story she’d just told and realized he didn’t want her to go alone. “Can I come to the funeral with you?”
“Of course, dear. You better hurry and change, though. I want to bring the squares over and that Maisie Hewes is in charge of beverages and last time all she had was watered down coffee. The woman couldn’t make good coffee if it bit her in the ass. I need to make sure I’m there early enough that I can brew another pot if she messes it up again.”
Matthew nodded before heading downstairs to change into his good clothes. Within minutes he was back upstairs and escorting Aunt Addy toward his car. He wasn’t sure if she’d been planning on just walking over, but it didn’t matter now that he was here. The church was a fair number of blocks away, and he didn’t want her to walk it under normal circumstances. Carrying a loaded tray of heavy squares just wasn’t going to cut it, so he had a feeling she’d been waiting for him to come home before leaving. She had a copy of his itinerary, after all.
Shaking his head, he realized that had to have been the plan since his dad hadn’t waited around for him before leaving to go back to Toronto himself. They’d probably made the plans as soon as Matthew had called to say they’d landed in Toronto and he was on the way north.
When they reached the church he helped her downstairs before going back up and grabbing a pew at the back. He was the first one sitting down, but it was better to be up here than down with the rest of the church ladies in the basement. He’d just be in their way. He stared down at the pamphlet with Miss Elsie’s shining face on the front. Her shoe-polish black hair was curled up and she was beaming at the camera.
Matthew closed his eyes and leaned back against the pew. What was he going to do?
He definitely had some things to think about. The only reason he’d come north was to take care of Aunt Addy. Now, that reason had just been taken away from him. So, did he still stay? Or did he go back home? Was Toronto even his home still? All his friends were there. His family was there. But, Rich was here. And he was starting to become friends with Rich’s friends. He’d made friends with some of the nurses. It wasn’t the same, though. This week away with his old childhood friends made that clear.
So, what would be enough to make him stay?
He thought back to the conversation he’d had with Elsie at the hospital before Christmas.
“Sounds like an adventure, Miss Elsie.”
“Oh, it was. It was. I’ve lived a good life. Met the man of my dreams, had a parcel of wonderful children and had the best friends. I don’t regret a thing.”
“And you’re going to have more years to enjoy them.” He checked her oxygen and her IV bag before turning back to her.
“Well, now. I don’t rightly mind if I don’t. I think I’m getting ready to leave the living to you young ones. I don’t have nearly the energy anymore. You’re a good boy, Matthew. Listening to an old lady reminisce about the old days.”
“I don’t mind it at all. Sitting here with a beautiful woman on a wonderful holiday? What else do I need?”
Elsie cackled again. “You must have someone at home? Don’t you want that, love?”
Matthew shrugged. “Doesn’t everyone? But, we’re not all as lucky as you. I’m waiting until I can find a Bert of my own.” The name slipped out before he could watch his words. He wasn’t sure what she was going to say about it, but if she was friends with his Aunt Addy she probably knew he was gay anyway. Maybe.
She patted his hand again. “You do that. He’s out there for you. Waiting. Just like my Bert. He’s waiting for me, you know? He said that to me, the night before he died. He said, Elsie, I’m going to wait for you. Oh, I miss that man.”
He figured Bert wasn’t waiting anymore. As sad as it was to think of Elsie being gone, and how painful it must be for the people left behind, he was glad she was with Bert again.
So much had changed for Matthew in the two months since he’d had that conversation with Elsie, and he wasn’t sure where he was right now. He was all turned around. What did he want? He wanted the love that she talked about. He wanted a life with someone that made him feel the way Bert had made Elsie feel. He wanted to be in love with someone who thought he was the best thing in the world. He wanted that, so much.
Was Rich his Bert? Did he stay here, in Northern Ontario, hoping that Rich could be that person? His dad had always told him you knew it was true love when you wanted to work things out with the other person. It was easy to be in love. What was harder was dealing with the bad stuff and wanting to make things better. The perfect person made the work worth it, he used to say.
Did Matthew want to stay, now that his path had been cleared for him to leave all this behind? Should he stay, and see where things could go with Rich? How did someone make a big decision like this based on only a few months of being with someone?
He’d never experienced this before, the way that Rich made him feel. But, was he just in that lovely shade of pale that first love felt like? Where everything was perfect and beautiful until something else came along.
What if he stayed, and Rich never moved on? He could decide to stay and Rich might never come out of
the closet. Could he spend a considerable amount of time with someone who always treated him as second best? Would the work be worth it, or would he eventually grow to resent Rich? It wasn’t just his decision, after all. He needed to find out what Rich was going through. How Rich felt about him, actually.
Regardless, he didn’t need to make a decision right this second.
He’d just found out about this new upheaval in his life and he had time to sort things out. It was clear he needed to make a few phone calls, talk to his parents and Andrew. Talk to Rich. He needed to figure out his work situation. There was no rush. Even if he decided to stay here for a while, and things didn’t work out with Rich, he could always go back to Toronto later. He needed to make sure he’d still have a job to go back to, but he was sure SickKids would have an opening. Or he could go to another hospital in Toronto. They always needed nurses, after all.
“You better not be sleeping, Matthew.”
Matthew opened his eyes to see Aunt Addy standing over top of him like an avenging angel.
“No, ma’am. Just resting my eyes a bit.”
He realized during his thinking time the church had filled up some and over half the pews were full. He made to move over so Aunt Addy could sit with him but she shook her head.
“I always sit on the left, by that pillar. Come on, now.”
Matthew dutifully followed her over to her “regular” seat, and sat quietly through the short funeral. Elsie had been United, just like Matthew’s family, so the service was familiar to him. It wasn’t long before Aunt Addy was leaving to go back downstairs to start serving the guests. He followed her slowly, avoiding the receiving line since he didn’t know any of Elsie’s family members.
Finding a spot on the wall near the refreshment table, he tried to figure out how long this was going to take. He glanced around but he didn’t recognize anyone. It made him feel like even more of an outsider. There were so many people, and they all avoided him just as much as he avoided them. Or, maybe it had nothing to do with him, and they were just mourning the loss of a sweet old lady.
He wanted to disappear for a while and just sleep.
Broken Silence Page 16