His mom was going to kill him. Rich nodded gratefully before getting into the back of Kevin’s squad car.
Kevin got in the front and turned around to look at him. “It's a good thing we’re family, Rich, or I'd kill you for this. Your mom is gonna hurt you for landing in jail. And my mom’s gonna hurt me for picking you up and putting you in jail, you stupid dickwad!”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He should just have it tattooed on his forehead at this point.
“What happened? Come on, tell me that much, at least.”
“You might as well know. Your dad is going to tell everyone anyway.”
Kevin frowned. “What’s my dad got to do with this?”
“He found out I’m gay.” Rich let out a breath and touched his chest. Wow, he couldn’t believe he’d actually said the words. But, after he’d nearly gotten killed, and worse, nearly gotten Mrs. Mackie killed, he wasn’t as worried about the entire town finding out he was gay. He’d take an ad out in the local newspaper if it would allow him to prevent this from happening again. Scratch that, this was never happening again. Ever. What the fuck had he been so worried about? That his parents would kick him out for being gay? How would they feel if he was dead?
Kevin physically reared back for a moment before frowning. “How long have you been gay? Were you ever gonna tell me?”
“How the fuck long do you think? Forever, I guess.”
“You’ve never dated any guys. How the fuck was I supposed to know?”
“I dated. Am dating.” He stopped. No, he wasn’t sure about that one. “Think I’m dating. Was dating?”
“Are you brain damaged?” Kevin asked, peering closer.
“I don’t know. I fought with Matt. I think he hates me. I said something to him. I didn’t mean it, but I was scared. Your dad found out about us, and after what happened with Jonah, I thought you’d all hate me. I took it out on him and I’m so fucking stupid for saying what I did. He’s never going to forgive me.”
“Matt? Matt who?”
“The new nurse. Matthew Clark. You know him?”
“The new nurse? Shit, you’re dating him? Fuck me sideways. I didn’t know that.”
Rich rolled his eyes.
“What’s this about Jonah then?”
Rich figured he might as well get it all out in the open. “I’m the reason Jonah got kicked out of his family. His old man caught him with me. Ever since I’ve been waiting for it to happen to me.” He realized it was true. He’d been waiting over a decade for his family to find out he was gay and kick him out of the family.
“Shit, have more faith in us, asshole. I’m not deserting you and I’ll kick the shit out of anyone who does. We’re family. Family doesn’t do shit like that.”
Rich let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “You mean it?” He didn’t care that he was crying openly right now.
“Of course I mean it. Although, you hurt that nurse and I will kick your ass from here to Victoria, capice?”
Rich nodded, trying to calm down. “You think Mom will really kill me?”
“Ah, hell. Rich, you’ve got no hope in hell of getting out of this without getting yelled at. Better choose wisely who you call to get picked up. I’m not going to say anything to the family but you know it’s going to reach town in about another ten minutes. There were lots of rubber-neckers passing us on the road.”
Rich nodded regretfully. Yeah, he was definitely doomed. His feeling of utter failure didn’t leave him until he was sitting at the jail with Kevin, the new owner of fourteen stitches on his forehead thanks to his airbag. He also had a slight concussion, and he was going to be feeling the pain in the morning. Hell, he was already feeling the pain, but he knew it was going to be worse before it got better. The fact that he was now stone cold sober didn’t help much. It could have been a lot worse. He could have killed himself, or Mrs. Mackie. That fact was enough to give him nightmares.
He’d already signed up for the alcohol education and treatment program that Kevin had suggested. Enough was enough. He wasn’t going through this again and he obviously hadn’t learned his lesson when he’d broken his leg in October. He’d also asked Kevin to recommend a therapist for him. He needed help, and he was determined to turn his life around from this moment on.
“All right. Call your ride. I’m not such an asshole that I’m going to make you stay here tonight,” Kevin said, after he’d done all the paperwork.
“I don’t know who to call.”
“Your nurse?”
“Yeah, that’s probably not a good idea.” Rich wasn’t even sure if Matthew would pick up after the way he left.
“You want my opinion?”
“Sure, why not.”
“Call Lora. Get her to take you to your parents. I think you need to talk to them.”
Rich really didn’t want to have this conversation. But, he knew it had to be done. Better now than to have his parents hear it from someone else. He just couldn’t believe how out of control everything had gotten.
How had things gotten to this point?
“You want me to call her?”
Rich nodded. He didn’t know what to say. He felt like the world’s biggest fuck up. He wouldn’t be surprised if Matthew never wanted to speak to him again. He was probably on his way to Toronto already. Rich wouldn’t blame him. Hell, he’d probably encourage him to leave at this point. He deserved someone better.
Anyone would be better than Rich.
Rich wasn’t sure what Kevin said to Lora but she came down in record time. She took one look at him and started to cry. Which just made him feel like dog shit again. He let her weep on him and hugged her tight in return.
“What happened?” she asked when she finally had control of herself.
“I did something stupid,” he started.
When he’d told the whole tale, she hugged him again and cried again. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I’m here for you, Rich. Always. Okay? You’re stuck with me and I don’t care what you do. I’m here right beside you through thick and thin.”
He wiped away his own tears. Geez, he’d cried enough in the past day to fill Lake Superior. He had a feeling it wasn’t over, yet. He wanted Matthew so badly he ached with it, but he had to do this first. He had to make things right before he could go to Matthew. He owed it to the other man. Not that he expected Matthew to just blindly forgive him and say that everything was going to be okay from now on. They had to figure some things out. He just hoped they could do it together.
He looked at Lora now. “I have to tell Mom and Dad.”
“I’m going with you.”
“Well, you kind of have to, now. I had my license taken away.”
“Don’t joke about that, Richard. It’s not funny.”
Despite himself he did start to laugh. Kevin joined in, and Lora decided to punch him instead of Rich.
Kevin handed Lora a couple of pamphlets. “Just in case. We get these from PFLAG, so maybe you should bring them with you.”
Rich looked over her shoulder to read “when sons and daughters come out”. He glanced up at Kevin.
“It’s just in case. I can sit here and say they’re going to be okay, but just in case.”
Rich nodded. Yeah, that was probably a good idea. He’d been struggling with that for a decade now. The just-in-case was going to kill him.
He was silent on the way to his parents’ house. He wasn’t sure what news to start with, but either way things were going to change today. He wanted to call Matthew and tell him what he was doing, but he kept reminding himself that he needed to go to him with this entire mess fixed first. Otherwise, he had nothing to show for.
He nearly backed out when he saw his parents’ house, though. Geez, this was going to be harder than he thought.
“I’m right beside you, remember?” Lora grabbed his hand before opening the door. They both toed off their shoes and took off their various winter paraphernalia.
“Lora, is that yo
u?” their mom asked from the kitchen.
“Yeah, and I brought Rich with me.”
“Rich! You’re back. I thought I’d see you this afternoon.” His mom came out of the kitchen only to stop dead at her first sight of him. “What in the name of the Lord happened to you? Dan! Get out here right now. Rich was in an accident.”
“Mom, I’m okay.”
His dad rushed out of the living room and Rich was faced with both parents bearing down on him. He brushed off their concerns, but let his mom look her fill.
“I’m in one piece. I had a little car crash. Nothing major.”
“A car crash? That’s not major? Look at your face.” His mom guided him into the living room and made him sit on the couch. She hovered over him, obviously trying to figure out what to do next.
“What happened?” his dad asked.
Rich took a deep breath. He didn’t know where to start. “I was a little stupid. You guys aren’t going to be happy, but I was drinking.”
“Rich!” his mom admonished.
“I know. You don’t even have to say it. Kev charged me. My license is suspended and my car is gone. I screwed up. I blew over the limit.”
“Jesus Christ, Rich. Do you have any idea how stupid that is?”
Rich shook his head at his dad’s words. “There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t already said to myself.”
“Why?”
“That’s the other reason I’m here.” Rich blew out a breath. He looked over at Lora.
She nodded back at him, holding up the pamphlet that Kevin had given them at the station.
“I don’t know how else to say this, but I’m gay.”
His mom nodded. “Okay.”
“Is that it?” his dad asked.
Rich let out a huff of laughter. “I’m gay.” Maybe they hadn’t heard him the first time.
“Yeah. We got that.” Daniel looked over at his wife and shook his head. “It’s not much of a surprise, Rich. We kind of knew.”
“How? What?”
“Oh, honey. It’s okay.” Loraine got up and hugged him tightly. “We love you.”
“Jeez, this is the most anti-climactic coming out ever,” Lora replied. “What am I supposed to do with this pamphlet, now?”
Rich started to laugh, unable to stop once he’d started. Relief bubbled up inside of him and he didn’t know what to do with it. All these years he’d wondered and feared what his parents would say and they were okay with it? They’d already guessed? He stood up to face his dad.
“Well, we weren’t sure, but you’ve been spending a lot of time with that Matthew lately, so it didn’t take much to realize that something else was going on. You’re my son, Rich. I love you for life. I only have one of you.” His dad gruffly reached out and hugged him tightly.
For the first time since this all had started, Rich finally believed that things might turn out okay after all.
Chapter Fourteen
Matthew knew something was wrong the minute he stepped inside the bar. Actually, forget that. He’d known something was wrong the minute Rich’s sister had called him this morning with a tale about Rich getting into a car accident last night and how he needed him right now.
But, the minute he stepped inside the bar and faced what looked like half of Rich’s family, plus a few other men, he didn’t know what to do.
Rich stepped forward, nodding at him. Matthew’s heart clutched at the bruises on his face. He looked like he had stitches, too. Shit, why hadn’t anyone called Matthew last night? He’d been mad at Rich, sure, but this was important. He started heading towards Rich.
“Jesus, you can tell he’s gay just by the way he walks.”
Matthew ducked his head at the comment and continued forward anyway. Fuck, he wasn’t sure if they were talking about him, but he wasn’t stupid.
“What, like he’s got a dick stuffed up his ass?”
“Or he’s begging for one.”
He froze at that. He met Rich’s gaze across the bar. For a moment, the only sound he heard was the two jackasses laughing behind him. Rich suddenly got a terrifying look on his face and he shook his head before walking to Matthew.
“Hey, Jack Connell, you can just fuck off. That’s enough. I won’t have you talking like that in here.”
The man who’d just spoken stood up, bristling. “What? He your boyfriend? You fucking him or something?”
Matthew didn’t want to listen to this. He couldn’t take his gaze off Rich, though.
Rich met his gaze head on and said loudly, “I wish he was my boyfriend. But he deserves someone a hell of a lot better than me.”
“You a fag now, Richie boy?”
Matthew gasped, unable to help himself. He looked over at Rich, wondering what to do.
“Hey, it takes a real man to take it up the ass. Don’t make me come on over there and show you what I mean.” Marcus was suddenly standing beside Rich, one arm slung around his friend’s shoulders.
“Hey Jack, I pissed on your leg in high school and I can do it again.” Doobie stepped up on Rich’s other side.
“Fuck off!”
“What’s wrong, Jacko? Jealous?” Etienne cocked a hip to the side and crossed his arms. “You better not be sending out invitations like that. Someone is bound to take you up on it.”
Matthew couldn’t prevent himself from gasping again. What the hell had happened in the last twenty-four hours?
“You say one more word about Matthew and I'll kick you out of my bar for good. I don’t care what you say about me, but you leave him alone. If you don’t, you'll have to drive to Cobalt to get served. You get me? That goes for everyone. You all hear me?” Rich looked around at the packed bar.
“Well shit, Rich. No harm meant.” The man Jack turned to Matthew and cocked his head. “Apologies. Just shooting the shit. No harm.”
Matthew nodded. “Thanks.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. Apparently threatening to remove access to food and alcohol talked louder than anything else.
Rich’s dad stepped forward and held his hand out to Matthew. “I don’t believe we’ve met yet. I’m Dan Matheson.”
“Matthew Clark.”
“Nice to meet you, Matthew.”
“Same here.” Holy shit. What exactly had happened in the past day?
“Jack, I think you and your brother are done for the day. You can come back another day when you’re not feeling quite so dumb.”
The two men grumbled, but they left.
“Anyone else have a problem with anyone being gay can just leave the same as those two. You all heard my son. You don’t like it you can go to Cobalt.”
No one moved.
“Now, Matthew. You and Rich probably have some words you need to say. You can go upstairs, but I’d like to invite you to a family dinner tomorrow night. We’re celebrating my stupid, dumbass son being alive. He’s lucky he’s not living at home or he’d be grounded for life.”
Matthew really didn’t know what to say about that, but he nodded anyway. Family dinner? Gay? Was this the twilight zone? He managed to smile at Lora who was sitting at the back of the bar with a guy that looked nearly identical to Rich. Had to be a cousin or something. They lifted a hand as he passed them. He waved back, stunned.
He whirled on Rich the minute they reached his apartment. “Let me see your face. How bad is it?” He ghosted his fingertips down the bruises on Rich’s cheeks, the black eyes, the bandage that had to cover stitches. He desperately wanted to rip his clothes off so he could see what damage lay underneath.
“It’s not bad. Or, it’s not as bad as it could have been. I got lucky.”
“What happened?”
Rich sighed and gestured for them both to sit down on the couch. “I stupidly tried to chase after you. Only, I overlooked one very important factor. I’d had a lot to drink. I wasn’t thinking, and I got into a bad spot. Tipped my car into the ditch. But, I could have crashed head on into Mrs. Mackie, so I’m the lucky one. She swerved out of the w
ay. I swerved, too, but I wasn’t able to guide my car as well as I would have if I’d been sober.”
“Rich...” Matthew didn’t know what to say. If he’d just stayed when Rich had called him back none of this would have happened. He twisted his hands in his lap.
“Don’t you dare. I can see the wheels turning in your head. Don’t you dare think this had anything to do with you. This is all on me. All of this is on me. I screwed up, Matthew. I can say I’m sorry until the cows come home but it’s not going to make any of it better. I made a shitload of mistakes and I don’t expect you to just forgive and forget. But, I promise you, I’m going to do everything I can to prove to you that I can change. I’ve signed up for alcohol education. I’m going to see a therapist. I... I came out. I figured it was better to be kicked out of my family for being gay than to die because I was so fucking stupid that I drove when I was drunk.”
“Rich.” Matthew pressed his hand against his chest. “I didn’t mean to force you into this.”
“No, I’m glad. You have no idea how happy I am now that I don’t have to lie about it. I mean, I know this seems like it’s all happening so fast. But, telling my parents. Talking to people about it. I feel free. I’m glad it happened the way it did. Well, I wish I still had my license and my head is aching like I’ve got a cave troll locked inside and it’s beating its way out, but I’m glad it happened.”
“How? How did this all happen so fast?”
“I told my cousin after I had the accident. He convinced me to tell Lora. She went with me to tell my parents. It kind of snowballed from there. You can’t keep much secret in my family. Anyway, everyone knows. About me being gay. And about the fact that we are—were—dating. You're not my dirty little secret. I just... For so long I chose to hide the real me. Being in Vegas, seeing that fake front made me realize it. I just... I don't...”
“What?” Matthew asked.
“I didn't know if anyone would even like the real me if I came out.”
“Being gay doesn't define you. It's no different than having blue eyes. The people that see you different aren't people you need to be around anyway.”
Broken Silence Page 18