It’s a wonderful feeling with no cell to know I am not being spied upon nor stalked. I feel liberated and brain tumor-free. Most of all, I feel protective of that tiny bundle inside me; not that there is much evidence; no more swelling than a large bowl of pasta or rice wouldn’t do. There is life within me and it feels incredible, especially as I am so in love with its maker, despite Alexandre being a heartbreaking bastard, I will still love everything about his future offspring…
Because deep down inside me (call me a clueless fool), I feel there must be some mistake – he cannot be lying to me, he does love me.
Yet – I need to get a grip - all the evidence is there, clear and sharp as crystal – he still can’t give up Laura.
***
A week has passed by. Sneaking off for my secret Rex rendez-vous has become a regular habit. If I can’t have Alexandre, himself, I can feel close to him through his beloved dog. Today I’ve arranged to take Rex alone.
I meet Sally at the entrance at Sixty Forth Street by Central Park Zoo. Rex is there waiting, all excited. Funny how Labradors and Labrador mixes wiggle the middle of their torso when they wag their tails. He’s ready for his tour around the park.
I kiss Sally hello and give her a one hundred dollar bill. “Have a nice breakfast.”
She shakes her head; her Cerise-colored pigtails swing in surprise and her wildly plucked eyebrows, which seem no more than painted curves, shoot up. “Pearl, this is way, way too much.”
“I don’t have change,” I lie, wondering if she has caught onto my not-so-subtle bribe. It’s good to have Sally on my side, to get snippets of information about Alexandre, know where he’s going and when he’ll return. “Treat yourself to something delicious. I’ll meet you back here in an hour and a half.”
“Are you going to the Central Park Paws event this morning?”
Only dog-mad Sally could know about such a thing as Central Park Paws. “No,” I answer, “but tell me more, I’m intrigued.”
“Well, Central Park Paws hosts regular events for dog owners in the park. Today is Monthly Bagel Barks – it gives dog owners the chance to meet, talk and have breakfast while the dogs enjoy some off-leash playtime. It starts in fifteen minutes until nine o’clock.”
“I’m so sorry, Sally, am I robbing you of your meeting? We can go together if you like.”
She looks at the hundred dollar bill and says, “No, it’s okay, I’ve always wanted to go to the Carlyle for breakfast …well, thanks so much, Pearl. Have a nice walk.”
The Carlyle – where Alexandre and I had that dreaded breakfast when I hadn’t been honest with him about wanting to do a documentary about HookedUp and he lost his temper with me. This is the third time we have split up and this time I fear it’s for good. It still doesn’t make sense – he doesn’t strike me as a person who would lie but the evidence is there – he can’t keep away from Laura. She has some kind of emotional hold over him, no matter how in love with me he claims to be. I want him so badly but this time I must keep my resolve.
I wave Sally good bye and Rex and I go into the park. It is covered in a blanket of fresh, untrammeled snow and looks like a fairy-tale; the sky a clear, icy blue. Some pale crystal flakes flutter through the air – it’s snowing, but only just.
We start wending our way across the twisting paths and buried grass towards Bethesda Fountain to the other side of the lake, now frozen, near to the woods and where I can confidently unleash Rex to run free and sniff about. I love New York. Here in Central Park, you are allowed let your dog off the leash before nine a.m. and again after nine at night. Not that I would brave Central Park at night alone – just in case. I let Rex loose; he’s so well behaved that I don’t have to worry about him escaping, unlike Zelda, the beautiful Husky of my childhood years.
We walk at a fast-paced clip, my thermal boots squeaking on the powdery snow, my huge, floor-length overcoat brushing against itself, whooshing and shuffling in muffled silence. Hardly anyone is around, just a few other dogs and people walking with purpose as if they are going home after an all-nighter or cutting through the park to work. It’s still only seven thirty.
“Stop it, Rex,” I scold, as he pees against a lumpy, half-melted snowman with a drooping carrot for its nose. I take the carrot between my gloved fingers and push it further inside its head. “There we go, Mr. Snowman, you’ll last a little longer.”
I zip along swiftly in the direction of the woody grove – New Yorkers walk fast – no meandering ever; you can get mugged that way. I wear eyes in the back of my head. This part of the park is remote. When I hear footsteps behind me I am aware of what a risk-taker I am. Rock-climbing, trapezes, going with two footballers to their dorm alone and dating a man too young for me with such a rampant sexual appetite he desires more than one woman to satiate him; he’d date us both simultaneously if he could get away with it. When will I ever learn? The footsteps are male, booted, tough…Holy crap! I spin around, my fists in balls and call Rex over to my side. I need to clip him back into his leash to show the world I’m a woman with a black Pit-bull mix…DON’T MESS WITH ME!
It’s HIM. No less dangerous than a mugger. He’s dressed in a long military coat that looks as if it’s from World War One and big, black boots. His hair is damp and ruffled from the snowflakes, his dark eyelashes sparkling with moisture, his curvy lips red from the cold, tilted up into his signature crooked smile. He looks delicious, sexy, mysterious. Uh oh.
“Pearl, stop!” Alexandre rushes up to me and grabs my arm forcing me to stumble into him. His breath is on my face, hot mist clouding the tiny space between our mouths. He has the ‘I’m going to fuck you’ look written all over his face and I know I’m in trouble.
“What do you want Alexandre?” Stupid question. I know what he wants.
“I can’t bear this any longer, Pearl – please.” He starts kissing my eyes, my nose and the animalistic groan deep within him makes my stomach flutter. I know what will be beneath that military coat. A big, huge, rock-hard Weapon of Mass Destruction.
“Christ, I’ve missed you.”
“How’s Laura?” I hiss from my tightened mouth. My white, steamy breath is like a dragon’s; no less furious.
“Please let’s not argue. Please, chérie, I’m going crazy without you. I need you.”
“You just want me for my body, Alexandre.”
“That’s not true. I need you, baby. I need—”
“You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”
“You’re the only cake I want, I swear.” He takes my gloved hand and pulls me towards him. “Come over here, we have to talk.”
“We can talk right here.”
“Too public, please baby.”
He draws me behind him towards a large elm tree and pins me up against the solid trunk. “I have to kiss you.”
“No.”
But he starts with his trademark wispy kisses on my eyes again, on my icy cheeks and then my temple. I quiver all over and can feel my panties moisten. “Leave me alone, you bastard. How did you find me, anyway, now that I don’t have my phone?”
He breathes in the scent of me. “I have ways.”
“Did Sally sell me out?”
“No, annoyingly Sally is on your side.” He slips his black leather-gloved hand through a small opening in my coat and around my waist. Then the other hand. I can feel him un-glove himself and his warm fingers are tracing their way about my bare flesh. My skin tingles. He starts a familiar journey down the back of my butt cheeks but I slam my behind against the tree, trapping his hand. He was inches away from knowing how wet I am, and how I long for him inside me.
“Ouch, tigress, that hurts.”
“Take your hand away, Alexandre.”
“I know that you secretly want me, chérie, but as you wouldn’t let me see you, I thought I’d better come and claim what’s mine wherever I could - and it happens to be here in Central Park.”
“Get it through that arrogant, ego-inflated head of yours that I do
not belong to you! I am not your soul mate, nor your media naranja. You have all that already with Laura.”
“You are my soul mate, my media naranja, my wife-to-be, my everything, Pearl. You’re Rex’s mother, too. We’re a family.”
Little does he know there’s more family on the way. “You ruined and destroyed all that by seeing Laura again!”
“How many more times do I have to tell you that I don’t love Laura? I don’t want her - haven’t for years and certainly not since I met you. The truth is, I don’t even like her anymore.”
I bellow at him, “Love and like have nothing to do with it for you. You covet her because you can’t bear to give up any of your women. You’re like a cock with his hens. You are a cock! One big walking, talking, cock! You have a Weapon of Mass Destruction which you go around using at every opportunity!”
He strokes a loose tendril of hair from my cheek. “I swear, believe me, it’s been tucked away, unused except by my own hand since I last made love with you.”
“You haven’t ‘made love’ with me for ages, you fuck me! ‘Fuck my ass off’ ‘fuck my brains out’ as your expressions go.”
“Come back and live with me again and we’ll be making love again…just…I go crazy when I see you…this diet of sex - of us not living together is making me go insane so the last few times we got together I felt like a beast.”
He takes my hand. “Feel it. Feel how hard it is. All I can think of is your voice, your smile, Pearl, your face, your lips, your ass, your tits and most importantly, your soul - your essence, your very being. I can’t live without you, chérie. Every waking moment, every sleeping second I’m dreaming of you, Pearl, I’m so crazy about you, it hurts.”
“Then fucking stay away from that asparagus stick bitch, Laura!” I yell, remembering how Sophie had described her as an asparagus.
Rex comes bounding over and jumps up. My screaming has alerted him and he starts to bark at his master. “You see?” I screech - “even Rex is on Team Pearl. He knows what a prize jerk you are. A lying, two-timing jackass!”
“Look, I’m dealing with Laura—”
“Dealing with her? You are unbelievable. Unbe-fucking-lievable!” I try to break away from his devouring gaze which is swallowing me whole.
But he has my wrists in a clasp so I can’t escape. Christ he’s sexy.
“I swear I haven’t lied to you. I swear I’ve been faithful – I haven’t touched Laura – please trust me, Pearl. Please have faith.”
“Then why have you been seeing her?”
“I can’t tell you. But trust me.” He breathes into my face seductively – he smells of apples and sweetness. “I was just protecting someone I love.”
“Someone else you love? How many of us are there, Alexandre? How many more women have you got hooked on you with your panty-melting antics?”
“I’m sorry, chérie. But I had to see Laura – I had no choice.” He looks down at his boots. “And I’m afraid I’ll have to see her again.”
His words stab my heart. I’ll have to see her again. I shout out in a jealous rage, “What is it that Laura has that I don’t?”
“Something I need from her. Once I get it, I’ll never go near her again, I promise.”
I try to struggle free. “You are quite something, Alexandre Chevalier. Wow! You really win the prize for being a French, macho SHIT-head!”
He keeps hold of my wrists. “Please, baby, trust me. I can’t say more, just trust me.” He pushes his soft lips onto mine and kisses my closed, bitter mouth. He begins to lick me very gently and an unbidden low moaning sound escapes my throat which I know is my downfall. He pushes his wavering tongue inside my longing mouth and parts it. My jaw drops open. Even through his thick military coat I can feel his erection pressed up against my thighs.
“Hey, you two! No indecent behavior in public!”
I open my eyes from my reverie and say a little prayer to St. Lucy. Thank you, Santa Lucia, for saving me; for shining a light on this situation and showing it up for what it is…madness. It’s a police officer and now he’s making his way over towards us, half smiling as if he was kidding about ‘indecency’ but I take this opportunity. I slip from underneath Alexandre’s clutches and dash towards the uniformed stranger.
“Bye, Alexandre. Rex! Come boy, come!” I start galloping at full pelt in the direction of the East side.
Rex runs behind me, following at racing speed. Rex has chosen me over his master and I feel triumphant.
I don’t look back.
***
Daisy and I are sitting on her bed with our legs tucked under us while Amy’s playing with her teddies in her wigwam.
“It’s just my body he wants, Daisy, nothing more. Laura was right; he’s in ‘lust’ with me.”
“Nonsense, he wants all of you.”
“All of me and all of Laura. He wants her for…I don’t know what…and me…just to fuck.”
“Rubbish. Look, Pearl, if all he was after was a sexy body…well… I don’t mean to sound harsh and you do have an incredible body and you really are beautiful but…well…if all he wanted was a body, he could flick his thumb through any Victoria’s Secret catalogue and pick off any top model he wanted – well, anyone who Leonardo di Caprio hasn’t already claimed, that is. With his money and looks Alexandre could, literally, have any body. But he’s chosen you.”
“I suppose you’re right. It’s true, he could be going out with a supermodel. A supermodel who wants world peace and plays chess, to boot. He could get anyone. Sometimes…no - not sometimes, often - I wonder what he sees in me.”
Daisy rolls her eyes with irritation. “Stop sounding so poor-me and buck up, woman! He sees your good heart, your soul. And you may not be a supermodel but you look bloody amazing for your age. You have a better body than most twenty-five year olds, and a beautiful face – sometimes you remind me of Grace Kelly. It really pisses me off when you start all that, ‘I’m just an average-looking girl next door’ nonsense. It’s bollocks. Plus, Alexandre feels at ease with you, likes to hang out. You both love dogs.”
I suddenly think of Laura (Cruella De Vil) calling Rex a ‘creature’ and it makes me seethe. “Alexandre swears nothing is going on with Laura and that I should trust him.”
Daisy sucks in a lungful of air. “Well, I’m obviously not the best person to discuss this with after what Johnny did to me. And to Amy. I trusted him implicitly – I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that again with any man.”
“At least he wants you back and he’s groveling.”
“But I don’t want him back now. How could I live with that uncertainty again?”
“What about Amy?”
Daisy looks over at the wigwam. Amy is muttering to herself in different voices and playing ‘tea party’ inside. “That’s my only concern. Amy loves her dad, obviously, but at the same time it’s no good if we’re unhappy together – that’s no good for her at all.”
“You need more time to think it through. Let Johnny wallow in his misery a bit, it’ll do him good. Make him appreciate what he’s lost.” I realize I sound like Alexandre – that’s exactly what he said to me.
“Coming from you, the eternal forgiver, that sounds tough.”
“Well, some men deserve the cold shoulder, now and then. If you’re too nice they walk all over you.”
“Actually Pearl, I have a confession to make.”
“Really?” A gamut of possibilities runs through my mind. Perhaps she’s been having private conversations with Alexandre and has been holding out on juicy information.
She looks at the wigwam and whispers, “About Zac.”
“Zac, the surfer? The good looking one we met on the beach?”
Daisy looks down; her face flushes pink. “We kissed.”
My jaw drops open. “You are kidding me? Daisy – that’s so exciting…”
“It gave me confidence – made me realize I was still attractive.”
“Are you kidding? You’re gorgeou
s. Especially since you’ve lost all that weight. He should be so lucky.”
Then she squeals quietly, “But wait. There’s more!”
I laugh. “You sound like one of those infomercials…’but wait, there’s more.’”
“I shagged him.”
Shag - British for ‘fuck’. I scream, “No!”
Amy pokes her head out of the wigwam. “Why are you shouting, Auntie Pearl?”
“Nothing, honey. I thought I saw a spider but I was wrong.”
“I like spiders. I would never kill a spider.”
“That’s because you’re an angel, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I don’t kill them, either.”
Amy slips back inside her wigwam and continues her tea party.
Daisy whispers, “I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind since.”
“I’m not freakin’ surprised. He was gorgeous. When did this happen? You’re such a dark horse, Daisy.”
“That day when you three all went on a walk in the woods. Remember? When I said I’d stay behind? Zac popped over.”
“Sounds like he did a lot more than just pop over.”
“Well, yes. It started with a kiss and then…well, I thought, ‘I’m on holiday, what the hell.’ I didn’t mean it to go so far but my hormones took over, I couldn’t resist him.”
“And? Was it worth it?”
“Let’s just say that he woke up a certain part of my body that had lain dormant for a long while.”
“You were very brave to just go for it like that.”
“Like I said, I was on holiday - I felt reckless. As far as I was concerned it was a one night stand…I mean a ‘one day stand’…but he had other ideas.”
I’m still grinning at this gossipy news. “Like what?”
“He told me he wanted more. Well, I left him hanging - you know, it wasn’t exactly the right time in my life to be jumping into another relationship. When a woman doesn’t give a damn, it makes a man all the more interested. I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship.”
Shimmers of Pearl (The Pearl Trilogy, Part 3) Page 7