I shook my head. “No. I’d know if I was dead.”
While I watched my two best friends walk with arms around each other for emotional support, I wrestled with accepting Audrey’s version of the story. To do so meant I was dead. And dead meant I would never again speak with Leo. And there were so many words left unsaid, so much business left unfinished.
The final nail in my coffin came when a customer walked out and Audrey pushed me directly in front of the customer’s path. Instead of bumping into him, I fell through him, landing on my hands and knees. My skin tingled with pins and needles from where the body had passed through me. A loud noise filled my ears, similar to water flowing from a dam. For a split second my vision blurred. Then I watched in absolute horror as my hands and legs split into millions of tiny fragments.
Audrey might have been capable of delving into her mother’s magic bag to produce this neat trick, but I wasn’t.
I crawled into the gutter because it seemed the most suitable place for a reluctant spirit to bawl her eyes out. Audrey was kind enough to sit beside me with her hand resting on my shoulder; although we were both apparitions the contact still registered. I forgot about being angry with her and welcomed her company.
“Okay, I’ll admit this has been a rather extraordinary morning so you may be right.” I sniffed back the tears and turned to face her. “How did I die?”
“Your car slid down an embankment. You weren’t wearing a seatbelt. Leo dragged you out of the car but it was too late.”
I jumped up. “Leo!”
Panic slammed into me faster than a tsunami slammed through homes. I bolted down the street in the direction of Rock-A-Lilly’s. Blindly, I ran out into the oncoming traffic, a small truck. A few tons of metal came barreling toward me. I did what anybody living or dead would do – I screamed. But instead of the truck breaking every bone in my body, my vision fragmented like a kaleidoscope. I turned around to see the truck stop for a red light. The driver didn’t bother getting out and inspecting the damage, because there was none. Not to the car. Not to me.
Intact and unhurt, I took off once more for Rock-A-Lilly’s. Audrey called out from behind, “Wait. Ruby, come back”, but I ignored her and kept running.
I guess ghosts were better at travelling at fast speeds than astral projections because I left Audrey in my imaginary dust. My purpose spurred me on – find Leo. That and that alone was my only reason to exist now. He must have been an emotional wreck, believing me dead and gone. Dead, yes, but I hadn’t gone anywhere and I needed him to know this. How often had he told me that he didn’t believe in the afterlife? How often had I eagerly agreed with his philosophy simply to see his smile?
The fatal flaw in my plan never once entered my mind; if I was invisible to Natalie and Shanessa, I was invisible to Leo.
***
Rock-A-Lilly’s sat shrouded in dark shadows by the time I arrived, the storm-grey dome that had hovered at the edge of the town earlier seemed determined to lock everyone beneath its gloomy hull. Walking up the path leading to the front door, a loud buzzing sound attacked me. Similar to the sound an electric fence makes, the noise grew louder the closer I got to the glass doors.
Not this again. My hand still tingled from my earlier attempt to touch glass.
I pushed beyond the weird sensation, yet trying to open the door was like trying to grab hold of a laser beam. The more I forced my hand forward, the worse the buzzing sensation got.
I looked around for Audrey but the parking lot was uncharacteristically empty. She must have decided against following me and I wished now that I’d waited for her. At least she might have been able to go inside and invite me in.
Leo usually sat behind the counter tuning guitars or replacing broken drum sticks for other musicians. Peering through a glass panel in the door and suffering the blinding buzzing attack, I spied Lilly, one half of the studio’s name, sitting behind the counter. She was tall and straight like the stem of a flower, and she wore her bleached-blonde hair in a spike which reminded me often of her namesake. Her partner, Rock, called so because he was dark like granite, hovered in the background pinning posters of bands to the walls. I liked Rock but I’d never had the stomach for Lilly’s crassness. Still, I’d have tolerated stories of her and Rock’s sex life in exchange for one of them noticing me and letting me in. To my great dismay, neither one possessed supernatural powers that enabled them to see me jumping up and down outside to get their attention.
Stupidly, I realized that Leo would have been too distressed to work and he’d be at home with his family. I blinked and pictured his house, and when I next opened my eyes my face was pressed up against a window. Taking a step back, I saw I was standing at the dining room window of Leo’s house.
The tingles and buzzing in my ears had eased a little, as if I were becoming accustomed to my death. I pressed close to the glass to eavesdrop on the conversation happening around the dinner table.
“It’s not fair,” Leo cried.
“You can’t blame yourself,” answered his mom.
Leo blamed himself for my death? The idea was preposterous. But his slumped shoulders and haunted expression seemed to indicate he carried that particular burden.
Even though his family was seated around the table, the atmosphere was nothing like their usual cheerfulness. This view was more like a window display in a post apocalyptic world. Leo’s mother and father sat oddly propped up on opposite ends, Leo slumped against the chair closest to the door, and his two sisters had their sagging backs to me. The table, usually laden with plates of baked chicken, baked potatoes, honeyed carrots, and buttered corn was instead covered with takeaway boxes, some of them unopened. I didn’t need to stare too hard at their faces to know they hung slack.
The tragic silence stretched out forever, but at last Leo pushed himself out of his chair. He managed to take two steps before he staggered into his mom’s outstretched arms. His shoulders shook and his mom stroked his head. In unspoken agreement, his father and sisters rose up from their places and they clung to one another. No amount of buzzing in my ears could drown out the woeful wails bleaching through the walls.
And that was how the truth of my death finally sank in.
***
Darkness pressed in around me but the chill of night stayed at bay, adding proof to the testament that I no longer possessed flesh and blood. With nothing else to guide me – they didn’t hand out tourist guides for ghosts though they ought to have done – I remained standing outside Leo’s house until every light went out, and then I stayed long after every light in every house in the street had been switched off, and then I stayed a little longer because I was terrified to leave. Where would I go? What was I supposed to do? Go home?
Images of my mom and dad sprang to mind, and after witnessing firsthand how Leo and his family mourned for me, what must my parents’ anguish be like?
I willed myself to go home and check on my mom, yet instead of being propelled home, other images haunted me; a log cabin, a roaring fire, the surrounding woods, the dirt track winding through darkness to the main road.
When I opened my eyes, I stood on the porch of the log cabin with the full moon’s light on my back. The door stood slightly ajar and I could see inside. A week ago the room had been aglow from the log fire and I’d barely hesitated about knocking on the door to demand to know just how much Leo loved me. I’d have given anything to turn back the clock and do that evening all over again.
Dew had settled on the windows so I knew the temperature had dropped. Mom would probably have fallen asleep on the couch by now. She liked her cashmere throw tucked around her knees and shoulders. Usually my job, I felt a sense of grief that I wasn’t there to support her during this horrible time.
Despite my ghostly body, the serenity of the cabin demanded I tread softly. An easy feat for a ghost; my feet made no sound as they skated along the floorboards. Surely an apparition wouldn’t have concerned herself with stomping as loudly as rats fighting ov
er ceiling space. I guessed it would take more than getting used to the buzzing to getting used to being dead.
I quietly entered the cabin and made it halfway across the living room when I heard a trickle of footsteps, followed by a door gently closing and a piece of furniture scraping along the wooden floorboards, alerting me to a hidden presence. I was a ghost. I knew I hadn’t made the noise. This could only mean there was a big animal in the cabin or else I’d interrupted a poltergeist in the middle of redecorating. Scary either way.
“Who’s there?” I called out.
Silence. Nothing stirred. Most likely an animal, yet my nostrils tickled with the sense I’d surprised something not animal. Listening carefully, I detected sounds like chirping cicadas. Taking another listen, I recognized this sound as whispers.
“You’re making enough noise,” I shouted. “Why don’t you come out?”
The cabin wasn’t very big; it had one main room with a kitchen bench, dining table and chairs, a leather couch and armchair, and coffee table. Off the main room were two bedrooms, one with a double bed and one with two bunk beds. When Leo had first organized the weekend away I’d planned to sneak in and surprise him, but his dedication to the band had proved superior when he’d uncovered my plans and had given me the same advice as my two best friends – stay away.
“Signs, Ruby. There are always signs. Look for them. Prepare yourself for them.” The echoes of my mom’s advice to me when I was eleven followed me deeper into the cabin. Off the main room was the bathroom which had a shower and a bathtub. Out on the rear deck was a hot tub. I’d seductively suggested putting the hot tub to good use, too, but Leo wasn’t to be swayed. How stupid had I been to miss the clear signals that other things ranked higher in Leo’s life than me.
Whispers like scratches against wood led me toward the bedroom where the bunk beds were located. The door creaked and opened on its own – probably a design flaw, nothing to do with poltergeists, nothing to do with poltergeists, nothing to do with poltergeists.
My heart wouldn’t keep still. Could anything even harm the dead?
“Show yourself,” I shouted.
Even ghosts didn’t have the benefit of super vision. I peered into the darkness, my heart thumping wildly in my ears, imagining a multitude of night creatures.
The door opened another inch.
I waited…
But nothing flew out at me. There was definitely something in the room, though.
It was staring at me.
Chapter Four
“Are you going to hurt me?”
The voice that spoke from amidst the darkness was female. She stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight. I automatically sized her up: young, perhaps younger than me, wearing an old-fashioned floor length gown; the clothes in our stores were outdated but at least they were from this century. Maybe she’d lived in Providence during the gold rush.
“Of course I’m not going to hurt you,” I said. “Come out of there.”
Instead, she stepped back into the room and was engulfed by the darkness.
I hurried to the front window to open the curtains to let in more of the bright moonlight. Yet my hand swept through the fabric.
Seeing Leo and his family, accepting my death, somehow I’d managed to hold back the tears, but not being able to move the curtains was the final straw. I burst into tears.
The ghost in the bedroom emerged and walked over to the window, where she pulled the curtain to the side with ease. That sent me into more of an emotional flurry. Not only was I dead, I was useless.
I felt the presence of her arms around me. This gesture stemmed my tears.
“Thank you,” I sniffed. “What’s your name?”
“Anne Louise Montgomery.”
The inclination to curtsy was strong but I resisted. “I’m Ruby Parker. Do you—” live seemed the wrong word considering she was obviously dead, “—haunt this cabin?”
Anne hesitated, and after an awkward moment she nodded her head.
“Do you haunt this place on your own?”
Her eyes dropped to the floor a split moment ahead of her shoulders and her voice. Her whole body was suddenly the portrait of regret. “Yes.”
“When I came in you were whispering. Who were you whispering to?”
She stared out the window longingly. “His name is William Tisk.”
There were two ghosts in this cabin? Had they been here a week ago when Leo, Simon, and Thomas had written songs for their demo? Had they been here when I’d shown up seeking answers to a question I should never have needed to ask? A shiver tickled my spine at how none of us had noticed the presence of these ghosts. But why would we? Until this morning, I wasn’t aware that ghosts were real.
Anne’s face suddenly brightened. “I recognize you. You were upset the night I last saw you. I did not mean to spy on you but the curtain was open. I do hope you are better.”
“Hardly,” I answered, regretting my tone but unable to stop the harshness. “I died. I wouldn’t call that better.”
“No, you are quite right. That is not better.”
Anne got up and glided over to the window. She stared outside, her expression appeared wistful. Night birds squawked and I shuddered. Not from cold but from life’s echoes clutching at me. The wind blew outside and rattled the windows and door. Anne’s eyes widened in terror and Audrey’s words immediately rushed to mind – poltergeist, malevolent spirit, demon!
I spun to see a young man standing in the doorway. He was so opaque he had to be a ghost. His face was soft and pale, gentle and kind, and somehow I knew he was ancient, like Anne. He had dark hair that fell to his shoulders. He wore old fashioned riding boots and a long coat.
He’s too gorgeous to be a demon, I thought, which in keeping with my recent string of bad luck meant he probably was.
The stranger didn’t pay me any attention. His gaze was locked onto Anne’s. “My love.”
“No, you mustn’t,” Anne cried. She took a step toward him and stopped; as if struck by an invisible wall.
The ghost leaned deeper into the cabin. “But I must.”
His hand reached toward her, she reached toward him, and I was fascinated by the voyeuristic thrill of a romantic interlude.
Then the front door slammed shut in his face with a loud bang.
“Is that William?” I asked.
“Yes.”
The shine in her eyes glistened like crystals, however, no tears spilled. I wondered why I was able to cry and she was not.
“So is he your lover, your boyfriend, your husband?”
I was rewarded with a gentle smile. “William is my fiancé.”
She returned to the armchair and sat so primly I almost felt guilty for indulging in my favorite pastime of slouching. But death couldn’t change everything about me. “You two obviously died a long time ago. I don’t get why the door slammed on him, though.”
“I cannot leave this cabin and William cannot enter.”
I sat up. “Are you telling me you two are cursed?”
“It appears so.”
“How long ago did you two die?”
She stood up abruptly. “I’d rather not dwell on the past.”
William’s voice seeped in through the walls. “Please tell her, Anne. If only to listen to your voice one more time.”
At least William knew his beloved existed, I thought ruefully. I wished I had the ability to connect with Leo the way these two ghosts were connecting.
Anne hovered by the window and I settled into the couch to listen to her tale. Pressing her forehead against the cabin wall, and stroking a hand against the spot on the wall where William sat on the other side, she said, “William and I have known one another for a long time. During our courtship, not a day went by where we did not talk about marriage, children, a lovely cottage in the woods.”
From outside, William’s deep baritone voice barked. “Horses to groom, fields to grow corn, orchards to grow fruit to make pies.”
/> Anne tossed back her head and laughed. “I have never baked a pie. Or planted a crop. Or groomed a horse. Growing up, I had cooks and maids and stable hands to do these chores. But I would gladly have done these things if I could have had this wonderful life William painted for me.”
I was beginning to understand their situation. “I take it you were wealthy and William was poor, and your folks weren’t too happy about your relationship.”
William’s woeful sigh, clearly audible through the planks of wood, added proof to my statement.
“My father only ever wanted me to be happy. My step-mother was a different story.” A hard edge crept into Anne’s voice. “She forbade any arrangement that was not her own. William and I decided to elope.”
As she rested a gloved hand on the window sill, a ghostly face materialized on the other side of the window. A pane of glass separated the two lovers. That had been me and Leo only a few hours earlier, and again it pained me that, even if cursed, at least these two knew the other existed.
Anne spun around to face me and wore a brilliant smile. “Tell me about yourself and your heart’s love. He was here that night in the cabin was he not?”
“Yes. His name’s Leo.”
“How did you two lovebirds meet?”
“I have always known Leo. We were both born and raised in Providence. We’re the same age so we’ve been in most of the same classes throughout school. I’ve had a crush on him since I was six, after another boy broke my doll at my birthday party and Leo fixed her for me. I don’t recall a single day afterward when Leo hasn’t been inside my heart.”
“He’s very handsome,” Anne said discreetly.
“He is handsome,” I replied. “Plus, he’s a musician so that just adds to the hotness. He played guitar in the school band for a few years until he set his sights on a music career. Two years ago he talked Simon and Thomas into forming a band with him. Their band is called Volt.”
Little Red Gem Page 5