The Cowboy, The Cheat, His Ex-Wife & Her Vibrator

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The Cowboy, The Cheat, His Ex-Wife & Her Vibrator Page 15

by C. C. Coburn


  “What’s the matter?” she heard him ask.

  Beth bit her lip. “You don’t play fair,” she whispered into the phone and hung up.

  Beth had something important to do. After completing her chores in record time that morning, she put a call through to Chris’s cell phone.

  Five minutes later, she’d arranged to meet him for lunch at an out–of–town truck–stop, then went in search of articles she’d found in Cosmo and several other magazines about impotence, clipped them and put them into an envelope, along with a couple she’d downloaded from the internet. If Chris wouldn’t talk to his wife, then Beth was going to make damned sure he listened to her!

  She pulled into the truck stop with ten minutes to spare and went to find a table, ordered nachos for both of them, a latte for her and strong black coffee for Chris. Beth then fidgeted with the envelope and hoped their meal arrived before Chris did, because then he’d have to stay and eat with her and not blow up and leave before the food arrived at their table. She was a firm believer in feeding men to get their attention. Not that it had worked too well on JJ.

  “Hi.”

  Beth looked up to find Chris standing beside her chair. He looked nervous and a bit frazzled.

  “Hey!” Beth stood and gave him a friendly hug and kiss to try and set him at ease. “Take a seat. Glad you could join me.”

  “What’s up?” he asked as he took the seat opposite her. “You made it sound urgent. Is there a problem with one of your kids?”

  After Beth had given JJ his marching orders, Chris had offered to step in if she ever needed any help with her children. He was that kind of guy and Beth loved him for it. Pity her kids’ own father wasn’t as gallant. Beth waved his question aside. “Nope, they’re all fine. I asked you to join me here where we won’t be interrupted because I wanted to talk about you. And, more specifically, your little impotence problem.”

  “What? ” Chris exploded and got to his feet, practically knocking the waitress on her butt as she approached their table with their food.

  Beth reached out and caught his hand. “Sit down please, Chris. We need to talk about this.”

  “This is none of your damned business!” he hissed.

  “Yes, it is, hon. It’s making my best friend very sad and if you won’t talk to her about it, then you can talk to me. And if you won’t talk to me, then you’ll just have to talk to Gabe.”

  Chris sank into his seat. “Gabe knows?”

  “No, but if you won’t talk to me, then I’ll tell him and if you won’t talk to him, then he can tell someone else.” Beth wasn’t too sure about how her emotional blackmail technique was going to work, especially if Chris called her bluff, because in reality she had no intention whatsoever of telling Gabe about his friend’s problem.

  “You wouldn’t!” he challenged.

  “Try me.” Beth extracted a cheese–covered corn chip from the pile in front of her and put it in her mouth. She watched Chris, trying to gauge what to say to him next. She was cursing herself for not having thought this through more, especially as Chris’s face looked like thunder.

  “Tilly told you?”

  “Of course she did. She’s as upset as hell. Mostly because you won’t talk about it with her. She loves you to death, Chris. Can’t you see that?”

  Chris’s face crumpled. He rested his head in his hands for a moment, then rubbed his face hard as though trying to cover unshed tears.

  “I love her too, but she wouldn’t understand.”

  “Are you having an affair?”

  His head snapped up. “Hell, no! Where’d you get that stupid idea?”

  “Well, it wasn’t my first thought either, but Tilly’s worried sick that’s what’s causing your… um… lack of interest.”

  “I’m interested, believe me, I’m interested.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I’m terrified of her getting pregnant again.”

  Beth didn’t understand the problem with that. Tilly had been talking about another addition to their family for a while now. Personally, Beth thought she was crazy. “And that would be because…?”

  “Because she had such a lousy time with her last pregnancy. She spent the last four months in bed so she wouldn’t lose Erica. And for the five months leading up to that, she threw up all day every day. She was emaciated by the end of it. I was terrified she was going to die.”

  Beth smiled at her friend’s husband. He was one sweet man. “Then why can’t you tell her that?”

  “Because I don’t want to disappoint her. She always wanted a big family and has always said two kids isn’t enough. We made a pact, that when we were more established financially, we’d have another child. That time has come and she wants another baby and I’m terrified of what it might do to her. How would I manage if something happened to her? How would I take care of my kids?”

  Beth watched him fighting tears as he asked, “How would I go on living without her?”

  Her friend had married one hell of a man. The very best of men. Beth reached across the table and caught his hand. “Honey, you really need to talk to Tilly and tell her how you feel. I’m sure once she finds out you aren’t having an affair and what’s really causing your impotence, she’ll be so darned grateful that she’ll be checking herself in for a tubal ligation next week!”

  Chris’s eyes widened. “You think so?”

  Beth wasn’t so sure, but if it had been her, then she’d certainly have been taking permanent steps towards contraception. Men like Chris didn’t come along every day. Tilly should count her blessings she had a husband who cared so much. “Um, I just had a thought. Does your concern for Tilly going through another pregnancy have anything to do with Gabe losing his wife?”

  Chris nodded. “Gabe can’t forgive himself for letting Marina go ahead with her pregnancy. I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to Tilly.”

  “There’s no guarantee she’ll have such a rotten time with the next pregnancy.”

  “Even one chance in a million is too many chances for me,” Chris assured her.

  “Oh, you darling man. I’m so glad my friend is married to someone like you. Promise me you’ll talk to her the moment you get home. I’d don’t want either of you torn up any more over this.”

  “When did you get so wise?” Chris asked.

  Beth smiled. “Oh, about the same day I found JJ in our bed with Suzie. Up till then I’d been pretty dumb.”

  It was Chris’s turn to smile. “So when are you going to agree to date Gabe?”

  “Hey, I’m paying for lunch. I get to choose the topics we discuss! Now eat, then we’ll talk some more.”

  They spent the rest of the meal discussing their upcoming season coaching the kids’ various softball teams and Jack’s upcoming hockey camp. Beth paid for their meal, then pushed the envelope containing the articles on impotence across the table to Chris. “Read this,” she urged. “I think you’ll find it very interesting. And maybe helpful too.”

  “If it’s anything about curing impotence, then I’m not sure I’ll need it,” he said as he tucked the envelope into his top pocket. “Once I’ve had that talk with Tilly, I can assure you she won’t have any complaints come tomorrow morning, okay?” An idea occurred to him. “In fact, can I impose on you to mind our kids tonight? I think I’ll take my wife out for dinner and then make love to her for the rest of the night and maybe most of tomorrow too.”

  Beth fanned her face. “Phew! Now you’re talking! Sure I’ll have the kids to stay. Leave them as long as you need.”

  Chris smiled. “Ah, that might be so long they could forget who their real parents are. So maybe we’ll just take it one night at a time.”

  “Hey, I’ve got a better idea,” Beth said, remembering Gabe’s conversation about making long, slow love to her after lunch. “How about you slip home now and surprise her?”

  Chris’s face broke into the widest smile. “A bit of Afternoon Delight?”

  “A
bsolutely! Tell you what, I’ll pick up the kids from school and you can ring me when you want me to bring them home, ‘cos I just remembered I’m supposed to be having a date with Gabe tonight.”

  Chris’s eyes widened. “Oh, and this would be a date with the guy you’d sworn off dating?”

  Beth tried to look mysterious but was sure she failed miserably. Gabe had breached her defenses, who was she kidding? She was going to date him till he succumbed to her charms. “Don’t forget to call by the drugstore on the way home,” she reminded him. “I know Tilly hasn’t been taking the pill for ages.”

  Chris saluted her and stood up. “Remember, anytime you want Tilly and me to return the favor and have your kids to stay for a bit…”

  “Why would I need them to do that?” she asked without thinking.

  “So you and Gabe can get some personal time together. Real personal time.”

  “I wish!” Beth told him. “He’s so danged old–fashioned. He’s not interested in a casual affair, more’s the pity, because I can’t think of anything I want more right now that to have him…” Beth suddenly remembered where she was and who she was talking to. She glanced around and noticed the people at the next table were taking an interest in their conversation. What was she thinking? Just because she and Chris could discuss his impotence didn’t mean he wanted to hear all about her craving to get his friend into bed.

  Beth arrived home with a car full of chattering, excited kids to the phone ringing and heard her answering machine pick up. She waited to see if her caller identified themselves or just hung up.

  “Beth, it’s Gabe,” she heard and snatched up the phone before any of the children could get to it.

  “Hey! It’s me,” she said, wrestling the handset from Ben who wanted to chat to his new friend, Gabe.

  “What’s the matter?” Gabe asked.

  “Nothing!” Beth made faces at Ben who was doing a begging act in front of her. “Ben just wanted to say hi.”

  “Put him on, can you? I’ve missed them this week.”

  So Beth handed over the phone and then it passed from child to child until finally Erica finished telling her Uncle Gabe all about her week at nursery school and handed it back to her.

  Beth had taken the time while the kids chatted to Gabe to fix them all a snack of milk and oatmeal cookies, so now she could retire to her bedroom for some private conversation with him.

  “What’s up?” she asked as she mounted the stairs. “Can’t wait for our date tonight to talk to me?” She sank onto her bed and kicked off her shoes.

  “No, it’s more serious than that. One of my mares is in labor and she’s having a hard time. She’s my best mare and I don’t want to lose her, or the foal. I think I’d better stay here at least for tonight. Do you mind if we take a rain check?”

  “Of course I don’t. I hope she’s going to be okay. Is the vet there?”

  “He’s on his way, but I think it’s going to be a long night whichever way it pans out.”

  Beth twirled her fingers in a circle on the comforter. “It’s a relief in a way that you can’t make it tonight, because I’ve got Tilly and Chris’s kids staying.”

  “How come?”

  “Long story. Maybe I’ll give you the juicy details sometime. Look, I can hear a commotion downstairs. It’s possible someone’s life may be in danger—either that, or someone’s taken control of the remote and won’t give it up—so I’d better go. Can we say same time tomorrow night?”

  “Sure. And, I’m sorry, Beth”

  Not as sorry as I am, she wanted to sigh. She really had wanted to see Gabe tonight. She’d wanted to practice her lap–dancing moves on him some more. “Hey, don’t be. Your ranch comes first. Good luck with your mare and her foal. Call me anytime to let me know the outcome? It doesn’t matter how late.”

  “Sure, and Beth—”

  The noise level from downstairs had reached a crescendo. “Gotta go. Call me later. Bye!” she said and hung up then flopped back on her bed to collect herself before facing whatever awaited her downstairs. Her gaze wandered to the top shelf of her closet where she had the vibrator hidden. “You and I might become friends tonight,” she told it, then got up and went downstairs to adjudicate between the combatants.

  Beth was cleaning up after dinner and the kids were all friends again and watching television when there was a light rap at her back door. Chris came in beaming from ear to ear. Beth didn’t need to make any guesses on what had caused that grin.

  He strode across the kitchen and caught Beth in a bear hug. “I love you, you know that?”

  She swatted him. “Hey, one woman a day, please!”

  “You know what I mean. You’re the best friend my wife ever had. And me too, for that matter.”

  Beth smiled. “Glad to have been of service. Want a coffee?”

  “Actually I owe you an apology. Tilly just remembered you had a hot date with Gabe tonight, so I’ve come to take all the ankle–biters off your hands.”

  “No need, he’s canceled on me. The fickleness of men!”

  Chris stood up to his full height as though ready to do battle on Beth’s behalf. “You want me to take care of the rat?”

  Beth flapped the dishtowel at him. “No need, he had to take a rain check. One of his mares is in labor and not doing too well. I decided against calling Tilly with that little detail as I thought she might be more interestingly occupied.”

  Chris grinned. “You got that right. Well, if there are no dragons or recalcitrant boyfriends standing you up to be slain, I’d better collect my brood and get going.”

  “They’ve been no trouble,” she assured him.

  “And don’t forget we’re available anytime you need the favor returned,” he said, rounding up Jaydon and Erica, to protests from her kids, and herding them protesting through the back door. “I owe you big time for this one, Beth.” He winked and was gone.

  Beth pondered how Chris could possibly help her to get Gabe into her bed. That man was way too stubborn to listen to anything Chris or anyone else had to say on the matter of how much better off he’d be if he just gave in and took her to bed for a lot of long, lustful, satisfying sex…

  Beth was about to retire to bed when she heard a key being inserted into the lock of the kitchen back door. Only Tilly and Jack had keys to her house, and Tilly would have called out or knocked first.

  Beth grabbed the handle of one of her heavy saucepans and held it aloft as she watched the handle turn. He heart was in her throat. Whoever had tried the key had managed to unlock the door!

  As the door opened a crack, Beth kicked it closed and turned the deadlock.

  “What the…?” came a muffled expletive from outside the door.

  If Beth wasn’t mistaken, that sounded a lot like JJ.

  “Who’s there?” she demanded.

  “Beth, let me in!” It was JJ and he was turning the knob back and forwards trying to get in.

  “Why the hell should I?”

  “I need to talk to you,” he bleated back. “It’s important.”

  “How do you have a key to my house?” she demanded.

  “I… I copied the kids’ spare key,” he admitted, surprising Beth with his honesty. Whatever he wanted must be real important for him to actually tell the truth, for once.

  “Please, Beth, I need to talk and I can’t do it through the door!”

  Beth knew she wouldn’t get any peace until she let JJ in and he got whatever he needed to off his chest. She flung open the door. “Then hurry up. It’s past my bedtime.”

  JJ stepped inside and looked around the kitchen. “Thanks,” he said and immediately pulled out a chair for himself at the table.

  Beth couldn’t believe her eyes, talk about making himself at home! She refused to sit down. She didn’t intend that JJ would be staying for long, plus it gave her the height advantage. Although judging by JJ’s disheveled appearance, he wasn’t into power games right now. “Talk,” she demanded and crossed her arms.
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  JJ took a deep breath. “I’ve made a terrible mistake,” he confessed.

  “Which particular mistake are we discussing right now?”

  “Me leaving you for Suzie.”

  Beth did her best not to react in any way to that piece of news.

  JJ pushed back his chair and started to pace the kitchen. “I don’t know what got into me. I’ve made a fool of myself and helped to ruin our family.”

  “You got that right,” she said, feeling a sense of power.

  He turned towards her, beseeching. “I want you back, Beth. I want us to be a family again.”

  Beth took all of two seconds to process that bit of information, then another two seconds to get over the shock and another two seconds to round the table and grab JJ by the arm. “Out!” she growled and indicated the door, pulling him towards it at the same time.

  JJ refused to budge, so instead she got behind him and started pushing him towards the front door. That got him moving a couple of steps, but no further.

  Beth eyed the heavy–based saucepan, regretting she’d stopped to kick the door shut instead of using it on her intruder. How much more satisfying would it have been if she’d waited until her potential burglar had stepped into her kitchen and she’d brought the pan down hard on his head. If she’d accidentally killed JJ, she’d have been sure to get off on some sort of home invasion defense. If she’d only maimed him, well… that would have been pretty good too. What he was suggesting was vile and insulting and she wanted him out of her sight and her home, at once!

  “JJ, if you don’t leave within ten seconds, I’m calling 911.”

  “Honeybuns,” he said in his whiney voice, using his pet name for her, a pet name that had her wanting to gag.

  He pulled her into his arms. “That’s no way to treat me. I came around here willing to forgive and forget and get our family back together. I don’t want to leave. I belong here, with you.”

  Beth stamped her foot down hard on his and shrugged out of his arms. She put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips, something she was known to do when she was extremely angry. JJ backed off a couple of steps. “I’m sorry, what exactly was it you were willing to forgive and forget about my role in our marriage breakup?” she demanded.

 

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