The train backed off more than a mile where it sat for some time, building up a good head of steam. The whistle shrieked again and again. The engine started slowly, then rushed toward them, great billows of black smoke pouring from the three stacks. Dodderidge had told them the train would be traveling at least sixty miles an hour when it passed them. As it approached at that breakneck speed, it grew larger and larger, until he had the crazy sensation that it would become immense enough to annihilate the ridge on which they sat along with the snowdrift it was meant to destroy. He wondered if the engineer and fireman were frightened, knowing that they could be crushed if the ice proved stronger than the engines.
As it approached, a whirlwind of snow was tossed aside by the enormous plow, nearly obliterating the engine, so that its headlamp shone eerily through the white, swirling cloud. The lead engine shrieked again, a cry to battle, and plowed into the drift with a terrible noise.
Gobbets and blocks of snow and ice flew upwards and out. The rocks on which they sat shook with the force of the train's impact. The engines, all three of them, disappeared into the flying snow, still snorting fiercely. The noise and tumult slowly lessened and the suspended snow settled. When the air cleared at last, what they saw left them all speechless. The train was gone, its passage marked only by a mound of snow, like a mole's burrow. Some distance ahead, perhaps fifty yards, a smokestack broke the even mound, and from just behind it, a shrieking plume of steam burst from the safety valve.
The crew poured from the cabooses and went to work. Dodderidge had commanded that Tony not assist them, so he and the others walked along the ridge to watch the digging out. What they saw when the crews removed the snow from around the plow was graphic evidence of the force with which the train had hit the snowdrift. The plow was bent and twisted, its struts and braces broken like rotten logs. One brace, as thick as his upper arm, was bent back until its jagged end was within inches of the boiler. When it was revealed, the entire crew stood in silent wonder. Had it penetrated the boiler, the engine would have gone off like a monstrous bomb.
They slept again that night at Shoshone.
The third day was practically a repeat of the second. On the fourth day, all passengers remained in town, while a crew of more than a hundred men went out to widen the cross-cuts. Dodderidge came in to the hotel lobby just as Lulu and the Palmers were preparing to retire upstairs. "We'll make it tomorrow," he said. "The boys did a good job today, and the plow's fixed. If you want to use my car again, you're welcome to. Just be at the depot by six tomorrow."
When they reached the big cut the next day, Lulu again joined Tony and the Palmers atop the ridge. Tony stood some distance away, atop an outcrop of bare rock, too high and sharp for snow to adhere to it. Not for the first time, a frisson of desire crept up her spine at the sight of him. Immediately she quashed it, as she had each of its predecessors.
The low, gray clouds had cleared, and a pale sun was doing its best to warm the day. She removed her bonnet and ran her hands through her hair, feeling the fresh air like cool water on her itchy scalp. "Oh, how glad I'll be to be home," she said to no one in particular. The first thing she would do was heat water for a bath, for she'd had to make do with sponge baths ever since leaving Boise. How long ago was that? "What's the date?" she said, without thinking.
Beside her, the younger Mr. Palmer said, "I believe it is the twenty-fourth of February."
"Good heavens," she said. "I've been traveling for more than two weeks and have come only a bit over a hundred miles." When her companion chuckled, she had to join him. "I'm sure that doesn't seem so very long to you, does it? Didn't you say you'd left England the middle of January?"
"We did, indeed. And we'd planned to be well on our way back by now."
"At least we'll be in Hailey in time to complete our business," his brother said.
Neither man had said exactly what had brought them so far, but Lulu was certain it was something involving great sums of money. Why else would they travel at so perilous a time of year? "Today, I hope," she said, thinking of her comfortable bed.
Tony returned just then. "I don't think there's much doubt we'll make it today. Did you see that last run? The plow smashed through like it was hitting powder snow, not solid ice. Those cross-cuts really made a difference."
The train, having backed away to build yet more steam, came running toward them again. Lulu held her breath as it passed, feeling the rock she sat upon tremble with its passage. Once more ice and packed snow flew in all directions as it hit the last thirty feet of drift. It slowed, but did not stop. They couldn't see what was happening, due to the flying snow, but they could hear it thundering through.
As the clamor died away and the suspended snow and ice settled, they saw the train sitting just beyond the cut, puffing like an exhausted draft animal.
"Let's go," Tony cried, taking her hand. He pulled her with him down the far slope and along the path beaten down by the digging crews.
Dodderidge was waiting beside the last engine, a big grin on his face. "Well, folks, you'll be in Hailey within the hour. So climb aboard and take it easy. I've told Mr. Palmer here he can ride in the engine with Hank."
They all thanked him and trudged back to the comfort of his private car. From there to Hailey, the train sped along, making only one stop for water.
The Hailey depot had never looked so good to Lulu, even though she would have preferred to arrive without such fanfare. Half the town seemed to have turned out.
Her trunk had not come with them, but would be shipped tomorrow. Carrying her valise, containing her papers and a change of underwear in desperate need of soap and water, she decided to walk to her apartment. It was only a few blocks, and she'd had far too little exercise the past three weeks.
"I've certainly enjoyed sharing this great adventure with you both," she told the Palmers, who were waiting to be interviewed by a newspaper reporter. They offered her a ride in the hotel's carriage, but she demurred. "It's a lovely day, and I'll enjoy the walk. It's not far."
Tony came out of the depot just then, carrying his own small suitcase. Knowing she could put it off no longer, she said, "I would like to talk to you. Could you come over after supper tomorrow night?"
"Why don't you have supper with me uptown?" he countered. "Then I could walk you home afterward."
"I'd prefer not. Just come by about seven. I won't keep you long." She turned away, knowing he was staring after her with a puzzled expression. Too bad. What she had to tell him would be difficult enough, without having to be sociable too.
* * * *
He arrived precisely at seven the next evening. Lulu, whose stomach had been swirling with butterflies all afternoon, opened the door before he had a chance to knock.
"Come in." Even to her ears the words sounded curt, grudging.
"You don't exactly sound welcoming," he said, setting his hat on the small table beside the door. "I thought you wanted to see me."
"I do. Please sit down." She'd debated with herself about serving coffee and cookies, but had decided against it. Doing so would give this the sense of a social event, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. She'd tell him, listen to his proposal, and turn him down. Then he'd go storming out and that would be the end of it.
Until June, when she would have to decide how to care for a baby.
"You sound as if you're going to give me bad news," he said, watching her suspiciously as she seated herself in a straight chair facing him. "What is it?" He half rose as the obvious must have occurred to him.
"It's nothing to do with our parents, so relax," she said. "This is strictly between you and me. I'm not asking for help or advice from you. I'll handle this by myself. But you have a right to be told."
His face grew still, and she saw a strength in it not usually apparent. "Told what?"
"I'm pregnant."
Chapter Fifteen
About 5 o'clock yesterday afternoon the announcement was made that the snowplow had reached Be
llevue. Immediately the streets swarmed with people, and every available team was pressed into service to haul sight-seers to the depot, some 200 of which reached just in time to witness the arrival of the snowplow which came up the track enveloped in a mountain of snow. When it reached the depot its complement of 40 or 50 men went to work to assist the shovelers who had been clearing the Y of snow during the past three or four days. This occupied about an hour, when the plow was run over it, and the road was open.
Wood River Times
~~~
Tony laughed. He couldn't help himself.
"That's not funny," he said, even as more laughter threatened to bubble up into his throat.
"I haven't found it so." She rose and went to the door. With one hand on the knob, she said, "That's all I wanted to say. I'd appreciate it if you'd go now. I'm really tired."
The laughter vanished as if it had never been. "Go? Go? Where? To Hell? That's what you're saying, isn't it, Lulu? Great God, woman? Haven't you done enough to destroy me?" He clenched his fists at his sides, knowing if he laid a hand on her, he'd shake her until her neck snapped. "Is that what you've been after, ever since you came to town? To break my spirit, my heart?
"That's it, isn't it? You've wanted to get even with me for years, just because I went off without saying goodbye. Well, let me tell you, Luella Marie King, I left because I hurt so bad I couldn't bear to see you again. I offered you my heart, my life. I wanted us to be together, always. One word from you--just one word--and I'd've stayed there. Or done whatever else you asked..."
"All these years, and you still haven't forgiven me, have you?" He knew he was babbling, saying crazy things because she'd hurt him so much and he wanted to hurt her back.
"What are you talking about? Forgiven you for what? I stayed away from you because I didn't want to hurt you again. It would have been just like you to try to talk me into marrying you."
"If that doesn't take the cake! You figured all you had to do was waltz into town and I'd throw myself at your feet, begging you to marry me. You think you're pretty great shakes, don't you? What's the matter, weren't the men back East blind enough to suit you? Couldn't you hide what you are from them?" He laughed, this time a real laugh, although the taste of it was bitter. "Did they see past that pretty, pale skin to the nigger beneath?"
He reeled back as her fist smashed against his nose. Despite the ringing in his head, he had to give her credit. All the lessons he and her brothers had given her on how to hit had stayed with her. Cupping his palm under his streaming nose, he sat, leaned his head back.
"You yellow-bellied bastard! I'm not the one trying to hide what I am! Look at you, doing your best to forget where you came from. Does Soomey know you deny your heritage?" She stomped out of the room and returned, carrying a towel. "Here! I don't want blood all over my floor." After handing it to him, she opened the door and went outside. In a moment she was back with a handful of snow, which she packed into the bloodstained towel. "Hold that in place. And push on your upper lip."
He accepted the cold towel and held it against his nose, but continued to pinch his nostrils together, breathing through his mouth. Gradually the bleeding slowed, eventually stopped. All the while she paced the floor, picking things up and putting them down, as restless and edgy as any captive wild thing.
"I don't think you broke it," he said, gingerly probing. His spectacles sat askew, so he pulled them off. One lens was cracked and the earpieces were both bent. "You did these, though." He tossed them on the table beside him. "Yes, damn it, Soomey knows I don't make an issue of my race, but I've never denied it either."
He probed at his nose again. It was going to be swollen tomorrow. "I'll probably have a black eye, too."
"You poor thing. And will you tell your friends it was a girl who hit you?" Her tone was sarcastic, biting. Slamming the flat of her hand onto the desktop, she said, "Oh, why don't you just go? I'm tired." Her voice rose into a wail.
Sure now he wasn't going to bleed all over her, Tony rose and went to embrace her. Although she resisted, he held her despite her feeble struggle. "Lulu, let's go back to the beginning. You're going to have a baby? That is what you said, isn't it?"
Her head moved against his chest. "Uh-huh." It was the barest whisper of sound.
Conscious of a sense of terrible loss, he said, "I take it you're not happy about the situation?"
Her head moved from side to side.
He'd loved her when she'd been a skinny little girl with enormous gray eyes and a mass of curls the color of old bronze. She'd grown into a slim young woman, strong with conviction and enthusiasm, firm in her belief she could make a difference, could make the world a better place. And now she was a beautiful crusader, compelling and persuasive. He still loved her, even though she'd almost killed him with her betrayal. "Lulu, talk to me. Tell me what I can do to help."
He had been her first lover, something that had thrilled him and had honored him. In a way he almost wished he hadn't. For she'd gone from him to...to whom? Some other man who must have meant more to her than Tony Dewitt, Chinaman.
"Who?" he demanded, not wanting to know. "Who's the father?" Was there any chance the bastard would marry her? He hoped not. She was his. She always had been.
She spoke against his chest, a single, not quite unintelligible word.
"What'd you say?" Disbelief made him certain he'd heard wrong.
"You are." She pushed away from him. "Who else? Do you think I'd let any other man touch me?" Turning her back, she said, "It was a mistake, telling you. But I promised... I'm sorry. Just go away, will you?"
"Go away?" The words came out in a croak, as his voice all but failed him. "Go away?"
"I'll be moving back to Boise as soon as I can pack everything. Regina...I can stay with her until it's born. After that..." Her shoulders rose and fell in a slow shrug.
He didn't think he'd ever seen anything so lacking in hope. "Lulu..." Then he stopped. His mind was spinning with the realization that he was going to be a father. That she and he together had started a baby. Oh, God, now she'll have to marry me...
And with that thought came the realization that if she'd intended to marry him, she would have told him long since. Mentally he counted back. Great God! It's been five months! "How long have you known?"
Without turning around, she said, "I was pretty sure at Christmas. When I talked to Katie, she confirmed my suspicions."
Again a fearsome surge of rage rose in him. "You knew...and you didn't say a word?"
"It was none of your concern. I'm the one who's pregnant, and I'm the one to decide what to do about it."
The implication of her words slowly penetrated. "You would have..."
"No, I wouldn't have done anything stupid or dangerous," she said, as if reproaching him for even suspecting such a thing. "I had to decide what to do...afterward."
Holding himself in tight control, Tony said, "And have you?"
"I thought I had. But--"
"You heartless bitch! You were going to give the baby away, weren't you? My son! You'd have tossed him aside like so much unwanted trash."
"No, I--"
"Be silent! I don't want to hear any more! It's obvious you're not the person I used to know." Now it was his turn to pace, as he examined and discarded possibilities. An endless time later, he realized there was only one.
"We'll be married as soon as we can get a license. Start packing. I'll be here early tomorrow with a wagon. There's more than enough room out at my place for all your things."
"Are you crazy? I'm not going to marry you. I'm not going to marry anyone! I've got a life of my own, and there's no room in it for a husband."
He looked at her, really looked, for the first time since he'd walked through her front door. In Shoshone and on the train she'd always worn several layers for warmth, but now, in her plain skirt and shirtwaist, the changes in her body showed. Her waist was thick, her breasts so full that the delicate lace inserts in the shirtwaist seemed about to
tear away from the fabric. How had he missed seeing how...how ripe she appeared.
Desperation made his voice hoarse when he said, "Lulu, I swear to God, if you don't marry me, I'll ruin you. How much credibility will you have when word gets out that you not only advocate free love, but you have a child born out of wedlock? Even though the father was willing to marry you. Think about it. Every time you climb up onto a stage, I'll be there to ask embarrassing questions. Every time you go to a city to speak, there will be an article in the paper about brazen women who laugh at morality and decency."
He took three steps, putting him so close her breasts brushed his chest. "You've got a choice. I'll be here tomorrow at seven for you to tell me what you've chosen."
Grabbing his coat, he left, wondering if she'd call his bluff.
* * * *
What is wrong with me? I never used to be this indecisive, this emotional. It's as if being pregnant destroyed all my good sense. She turned again, kicking at the flannel sheet that had somehow wrapped around her legs. The heavy quilt, one Aunt Hattie had pieced from worn-out wool britches and shirts the winter she was twelve, seemed to be smothering her, so she flipped it back.
In seconds she was freezing. The bedroom, unheated and kept closed off from the rest of her apartment, never was warm, but tonight it was like an icebox. She pulled the quilt back up. And forced herself to lie still, did her best to relax.
After a while the indigestion that had been troubling her for days made itself apparent. It was the strangest sensation, as if gas was moving through her gut, yet it felt at once more substantial and less persistent than anything she'd felt before.
One more change in her body, due to her pregnancy. She hated the way she seemed to be living inside a stranger's skin, a fat, bosomy, emotional stranger. If you want to dance, you have to pay the piper, came her mother's voice in her mind.
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