He accepted the cup of tea she handed him. He set it on the table, then held her chair. Her quick glance showed she hadn't expected such a common courtesy from him. When he'd seated himself opposite her, he said, "Before I say what I think of your conditions, I'd like to say something." This time it was he who held up a hand to stop her interruption.
"I love you, Lulu. God only knows why, because I can't figure it. You're contentious, independent, and stubborn. You think men are your enemy--"
She shook her head vigorously.
"Yes, you do. Some men, at least. And you're probably right." Chuckling at the astonishment in her face, he went on, "Some men are your enemies, the petty ones, the power-hungry ones, the ones who are convinced women are less intelligent, weaker, and fated to be their slaves."
"But...but..."
"Did you think I hadn't realized that? I'm not stupid, Lulu, nor do I believe I'm any smarter than you are. I am a realist, though, and I accept we're living in a world filled with inequities. I'm proud of you for working to change what you can. I don't believe you'll live to see the changes you seek, but I'd never try to stop you from working toward your goal. As long as you do so without risk to yourself." He spoke the last words slowly and with emphasis. "I felt that way before, and nothing's happened to change my mind. So I'm glad you accept that you'll need to act with discretion while our son needs you."
"Daughter," she murmured.
"Whatever." He held back the grin that made his lips twitch. "As for your other demands--"
"Conditions," she corrected.
"Demands, whatever fancy words you want to use. As for them, I've got a few of my own." He held up one finger. "You'll act in a way that will convince people we're happily married, as long as we live here in Hailey."
"Of course. I have to live here too."
Another finger lifted. "You'll let our parents assume we simply jumped the gun a bit, and circumstances kept us from marrying as soon as we were aware of the baby."
"Katie knows different," she reminded him.
"Katie will go along," he said. "She won't want them to be disappointed in us any more than I do." He tapped a third finger on the table. "You will work as hard at this marriage as you have at saving the world. I promise you I'll do the same. If we can't make it work, it won't be for lack of trying."
She raised her chin and looked into his eyes. "I am not a quitter."
"No, I know you're not. You accept my conditions, then?"
"I do. And do you accept mine?"
"I do."
For a moment they stared at each other. Tony felt as if trumpets should sound and the earth should move beneath his feet.
He became aware of her hand stretched across the table. He took it. She squeezed and he squeezed back. "I guess we need to figure out where we'll get married, then," he said. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her, but something held him back. Somehow this seemed more like a business contract than an agreement to marry.
"If we hurry, we can catch today's train. There's no sense wasting time."
"But where--"
"We can decide once we're on the train. Somewhere away from here, though," she said, setting her untouched teacup on the drainboard." Do you have to tell Mr. Eagleton?"
"No, he's given me the rest of the week off."
"Good. Just let me run next door and tell Mrs. Graham I'm leaving. She'll take care of everything."
Less than an hour later he was buying their tickets for Shoshone.
Tony wondered if Lulu felt as caught up and carried along by an unstoppable force as he did.
Chapter Seventeen
THE MINNIE MOORE
SHE BRINGS A COOL HALF MILLION DOLLARS
Wood River Times - Headline
~~~
"I think we should go to Boise," Lulu said, once they were settled in their seats.
He looked over his shoulder, as if checking to see if anyone was listening. "But you wanted to keep it out of the newspaper."
There were only half a dozen other passengers today, spread out over the railcar's seats. She was sure they could speak in normal voices and no one was likely to overhear their conversation. "I do, although I don't know how much it matters. It's not as if I've made a place for myself in Hailey. It just seemed to me that getting married there was like rubbing people's noses in the fact that we acted immorally."
Tony frowned. "I never thought to hear you say something like that. Aren't you the one who used to say marriage was strictly a means to conserve property and determine inheritance? That it had nothing to do with morality?"
"Yes, and I still believe that. However, I've learned one has to live in the world, Tony. And that means complying with laws and customs. I don't believe I've acted immorally, but others will. I'd like to avoid their censure if possible." Far worse than any question of morality, Lulu knew she'd acted irresponsibly, because she'd involved an innocent life in what should have been strictly between her and Tony.
It was too late for regrets now. "I'm sure we'll be asked where we live when we apply for a marriage license. As far as I'm concerned, my legal residence is Cherry Vale, because I've never settled anywhere else since I left home. What about you? Do you consider Hailey your home?"
"I'd never thought about it." After a moment's consideration, he said, "Not really. I guess I still think of the Chinese Duchess as my real home. Or maybe the apartment in San Francisco. Even though I probably spent more time with the Lachlans than anywhere, home was where Silas and Soomey were."
"So we'll go to Boise? Everyone will be tickled pink if we do."
"Yes, I guess we should. Besides, I'd feel better with family as witnesses."
"So would I." Lulu turned to the window and looked out at the dreary sky. A long time ago she'd dreamed of the day she and Tony would marry. Having heard about Ellen Lachlan's wedding, of her elegant satin gown and the masses of flowers that had filled the church in Boston, she had visualized something similar for herself. She had seen herself in silk and lace, walking up a long, flower-swagged aisle toward an altar where Tony waited for her.
When would she learn that childish dreams never came true? Hadn't the last few years taught her that?
Her mother had been convinced that the Fifteenth Amendment to the Constitution would give women the vote. Her father had warned of the loophole that seemed to do so would be closed as soon as men realized it was there.
"I doubt many Nigras will get to vote either," Pappa had told her when she'd asked him if he wasn't excited about finally having a political say. "Maybe out West here, but not back where I come from. Nobody in Alabama is gonna let any ignorant black boys cast a vote. Not for long, anyhow."
He'd been right, on both counts.
She turned to look at Tony, dozing on the seat beside her. His thick black hair had been flattened by his hat, a natty derby she thought suited him well. It was a soft gray, nearly matching his sack suit of superfine wool. Noting the velvet collar for the first time, she realized he must have dressed up to call on her.
Of course. He told me we were getting married today!
He hadn't asked. He'd told. He'd commanded. Instead of angering her, the idea made her sad. Theirs would not be the partnership, the bonding based on mutual love and mutual respect they had spoken of, so long ago. You'll marry me. My son will not be born a bastard.
So much for dreams.
The world outside grew blurry, as if a curtain of rain had swept across the window. Then she realized it was tears flooding her eyes.
This wasn't what Tony had wanted for them. Although he'd never stopped loving her, he'd given up all hope they'd ever marry. Then, when she stepped off the train that day she'd arrived in Hailey, the hope had been reborn. Never mind he'd told himself it was futile, his heart had still harbored the dream of her as his wife, of a lifetime filled with love and joy and comfort.
Instead they had a business arrangement, because they had no choice. His lips twisted in a self-mocking grimace
as he realized he was to be the groom in a shotgun wedding.
Glancing sideways, he saw she was turned away from him, her shoulder hunched, her face pressed to the window. Tony wanted to take her hand, to put his arm around her, to hold her close and assure her everything would work out for them. Maybe theirs wasn't the fairy-tale marriage they'd talked about when they were young and hopeful, but they could make it a good one.
How could he give her such assurance, when he didn't believe it himself? A marriage begun this way had about as much chance of working as a snowball in hell.
He'd do his best to be a good husband to her. There was a job for him in Boise, if he wanted it, with the new telephone company. Lulu might be happier where there was more scope for her talents. Where she could bedevil the Territorial Legislature to write women's suffrage into the state constitution.
Tony liked Hailey, enjoyed working for his flamboyant employer, but he wasn't sure he wanted to stay there for the rest of his life. It was too easy to stand out. Sooner or later someone besides Eagleton would take a good look at him. Given the local feelings against the Chinese, he could find himself in very hot water then, for many of the white men who'd taken him for one of themselves would feel as if he'd betrayed them.
He wouldn't mind so much for himself, but his son shouldn't have to grow up in a place where he was unwelcome.
His son. The thought still astonished him. He was going to be a father in four short months. Astonished him and terrified him. He'd never given much consideration to children, perhaps because Silas and Soomey had never had any of their own. He knew Soomey had longed for babies, for she'd often bemoaned the fact that he was her only child. The last time he'd seen them, two years ago when they'd come to visit him, she'd teased him about getting married. "It is time for you to give me grandchildren, Tao Ni," she'd said, "before I am too old to spoil them."
Now she would get her wish. He just hoped she'd be happy about the circumstances. He knew Silas would be disappointed in him.
Hell, he was disappointed in himself. He hadn't given a moment's thought to the possible consequences of their one night together.
* * * *
Tony sent a telegram to Luke from Shoshone, asking him to meet their train in Nampa. When they finally arrived, well after midnight, he was still waiting, much to Lulu's relief. They all walked to the hotel, where Luke had taken rooms. "I warned Katie I might not be back tonight ," he told them as they climbed the stairs. "The drifts are pretty bad. It'll be easier driving in daylight."
After a late breakfast, Luke went to fetch the sleigh. His team of matched mules looked shaggy with their winter coats. Once the luggage was loaded, they climbed in and wrapped themselves well in blankets. "I don't know what it's like up in Hailey," Luke said as the sleigh started moving, "but around here we've had some of the coldest weather I can remember. And snow! Seems like it never stops falling."
"We've got six feet on the level," Tony told him, "and Shoshone almost that much. I suppose you heard we were stuck there for nearly two weeks." He went on to relate their efforts to get home, while Lulu dozed, leaning against his shoulder.
The drive that usually took a couple of hours lasted almost four. Although no new snow had fallen, a stiff wind had caused the road to drift over, several feet deep in places. Twice Luke and Tony climbed out to dig their way through, while Lulu drove the team. When they finally pulled into the gate at the Savage Ranch, all three were cold and tired. "You go on in, Lulu," Tony told her. "I'll help Luke."
She was happy to obey. Somehow this journey had tired her more than others of much greater length.
"So you decided to marry him," was Katie's greeting. "It's about time."
"What makes you assume that's why we're here?"
"Why else would you two come over here together?" Katie's fists were on her hips. "Honestly, Lulu, you would have saved us all a lot of worry if you'd made up your mind sooner."
"We're not all so certain of ourselves as you." Lulu was too tired to argue. "All I want to do now is get the thing over with."
"You can drive into Boise to get a license tomorrow. Do you want the wedding at the big house?"
Lulu nodded, too weary to speak.
"Well, then, it's a good thing Luke hired the Swenson boy to help him feed, or we'd not be able to get away.
"Good grief, what are you wearing?" she demanded when Lulu removed her coat and shawl.
Lulu hung the wool coat on a hook and looked down at herself. The gray faille jacket, that had looked so concealing yesterday, had come unbuttoned. Her skirt and blouse, both far too tight for her, clung closely to her body, so her breasts and belly stood out grotesquely.
"Nothing else fits." Before she could stop it, a sob burst from her, then another. "Oh, Katie," she wailed, "I'm so fat and ugly."
Katie took Lulu into her arms. "No you're not," she crooned. "You're tired and cold and confused. In the morning you'll feel much better."
"No I won't. Or if I do, it won't last. I can't seem to stay in control of myself. One minute I'm happy and excited, and the next I'm crying like a baby. I'm so scared. I'm going to have a baby, and I don't have the first notion of what to do with it." She couldn't stop crying.
"I don't want to get married. He...he says I don't have a choice." The sobs hurt her throat as they burst forth. Her chest was tight, her eyes burned, and she wanted her mother. "I hate him!"
"Shhh," Katie soothed, as she led Lulu to the guest room. "What you need is a warm bath and a bowl of soup before you go to bed. I'll have Luke bring in--"
"I don't want any soup," she said, and heard the petulance in her voice.
"You're going to eat some anyhow. Now get yourself undressed while we get your bath set up." When Lulu hesitated, she said, "Or do you need Tony to come in and help you?"
"Oh, no, please!"
When Katie had gone, Lulu sat on the edge of the bed, too tired to do anything. She was getting so tired of dissolving into tears at the slightest provocation. The tendency seemed to be getting worse, as if she'd lost all control of her emotions.
She was still sitting there, fully dressed, when Katie returned and helped her into the tub of steaming water.
"She's exhausted," Katie told Tony and Luke when she got back to the kitchen, where they sat at the table, sipping hot coffee spiked with chokecherry brandy. "Has she been sleeping well?"
"I don't know," he confessed. "We...she won't talk to me." Unwilling to meet her gaze, he stared into his mug. "She said she'd wired you when we were in Shoshone."
"You should have come on over here. The main line was open," Katie said, her tone accusatory. "Why did you go to Hailey anyhow?"
He set the cup down carefully, instead of slamming it to the tabletop as he wanted to. "Because I didn't know about the baby. Not until night before last." Raising his chin, he looked first at Luke, then at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because she asked me not to. I didn't even tell Luke, until I got your telegram yesterday." Her hands, clasped on the table before her, tightened, until he could see her knuckles whiten. "Tony, if I'd had any suspicion she was holed up in Boise all through January...well, all I can say is I'm sorry."
"Seems to me," Luke said, "we're wasting time talking about what we should have done. Tony here needs to be back at work next Monday, so we ought to figure out how to get the two of them married and sent off in time."
"While you're doing that, I'll go get Lulu into bed." She stood, then paused, looking at Tony. "When I was carrying my children, it was like I was another person. I was notional, weepy, cranky, and completely unable to help myself. Ma said it was perfectly normal, but the first time I was certain I was going crazy. Lulu's always been so...so rational. I'll bet she's terrified she's losing her mind." She laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezed. "Be good to her, Tony, and even more, be patient."
He looked back at her, hoping she was right. "I will. I love her, you know. Always have."
"I know. And that may be the saving of
you both."
When she'd gone, Luke hefted the bottle of brandy. "Want some more?"
"Thanks, no. I've had enough. I haven't slept much..." He shook his head. "You know, Luke, I've wanted to marry Lulu since we were just kids, never thought seriously about any other woman. But now it's about to happen, I'm having trouble believing it."
Luke chuckled. "I know what you mean. When I asked Emmet for Katie's hand, it was like some other fella was saying the words. We'd been living in each other's pockets for a month, yet all of a sudden it was like she was a stranger. I had a moment there when I wondered what the hell I was doing."
"At least you knew each other. Even though we grew up together, I don't really feel like I know who Lulu is any more. It's been more than ten years, after all. We were just kids when we parted. In some ways we're not even the same people."
Leaning back in his chair, Luke stared into his cup, swirled the contents as if he might find answers appearing on the liquid's surface. "I don't think it matters much," he said, slowly, "because once you're married, you won't be the same people you were before anyhow. It's like...hell, I don't know. Like being tied together for life turns you into somebody else, half you and half her. Or something.
"I ain't saying it right, I guess, but the point is, you're going to learn a whole hell of a lot about each other in the next few months. And her being in the family way is going to make that learning a whole lot harder. Women are notional enough at the best of times, but you put a baby in them, and they get plumb foolish. I remember how Katie used to cry at the silliest things. One day she saw a mamma cat carrying her kit across the barnyard and she burst into tears. I asked her why and she said it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen." He shook his head. "I never did figure out what there was to cry about."
Standing, he set the brandy bottle into a cupboard and the cups on the drainboard. "The fellow next door has a cutter we can borrow. You let Lulu rest up tomorrow, then you can drive it to town on Tuesday, take care of the legalities. We'll come in Thursday. We'll see you on the stage for Nampa Friday, then the boys can drive the cutter back. They'll get a kick out of that."
THE IMPERIAL ENGINEER Page 18