“But I’m not callous at all,” she replied. “Every day I look at Robbie and wonder how I might have caused this brilliantly charming and sincere man to be in that wheelchair. I know I did nothing—I never encouraged him to enlist—but I didn’t stop him either. How many hours do I have to work the dilemma around in my mind and wonder with no solution?”
“Well that is why you come to me, for the missing solution to your irrepressible guilt and constant shame.”
The hand that ruthlessly rested on her thigh moved her closer as he rolled his chair away from the desk. He sat forward, clamping his feet firmly on the hardwood, making space for her on his lap. She was over his thighs a moment later, her pink lace panties yanked down and his hand spanking her bottom. He went on for long enough to seriously pink her pretty ass cheeks and cause his hand to sting. Since he wasn’t about to punish himself for her faults, he finally reached into his desk draw and pulled out a wooden ruler to use instead. Madeleine looked back and shivered as she saw him raise the ruler high, but by the time it came crashing down on her tender bottom, her eyes were closed and her head tucked down again. The damn thing stung much worse than last week’s spanking paddle, and he seemed to only be getting started when she yelped loudly:
“No, No! Pleeeeeesse… no, please, I can’t take anymore!”
She wrenched hard against his firm hold, and still another hard smack landed on her two ass cheeks. He paused at that point. “Listen to me clear, Madeleine, if you suspect that I have a trunk of nasty sex toys in the bedroom, you’re right. And that in that trunk there might be a gag I’d gladly use if you scream too loudly, you’re right there too. A smart girl like you should have figured out by now that I won’t hesitate to gag you if you wail like that again. You got that?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I know naughty brats sometimes misbehave no matter where they are or what’s taking place, but we’re not going to play that game. I won’t put up with you compromising my home. You think you’re suffering now, little girl, just wait until I cane you—silent as a whisper with a deadly bite.” At the thought of that, she visibly quaked under his restraining hand. “Whatever method I use to punish you, you damn well better keep your sorry cries of woe to yourself. Is that clear?” He punctuated his lecture with another hard crack of the ruler.
Yes, she got his message. “I’m sorry, I won’t make a sound.”
“Good.”
She endured the rest of the punishment with gritted teeth and hands clenched into fists, nails digging into her palms so severely that they left sharp indentations in her skin—something she wouldn’t realize until much later that day.
The ruler blasted its way across her ass cheeks for another quiet round of punishment, then Daniel suddenly stopped, parted his thighs, and let her fall to the floor.
She gasped for breath, and realized only then that there were tears streaming down her cheeks.
She was eye level with Daniel’s crotch, from which she could feel an angry heat emanating. She held back the urge to lick her lips, and swallowed another desire. If only he’d let her suck his cock, she thought. She couldn’t stop staring.
“Do I have to punish you for that too?” he reached out and grabbed her by the hair, forcing her to look at his face.
“For what?”
“For what!” he laughed sardonically. “I just finish punishing the naughty girl with the naughty secrets and there’s nothing but lust in her eyes. Might as well be written on her face in indelible ink. Sure my cock is throbbing in my pants. I might even jack-off to thoughts of that blowjob you so desperately want to give me, or the idea of ramming my cock into your steamy love hole. But if that happened, it would take this game to a new level.”
“I’m not supposed to feel what’s going on inside my body?” she looked up at him in desperation, showing a face full of tears making black smudge marks down her face.
“You’re the one who wanted this to be nonsexual. Now you’re beginning to wonder if we can keep it that way. Or was that what you wanted in the first place? Did you come here to have me punish you, or just fuck you?”
“To punish me, Daniel!”
“Well, that’s what I thought. To alleviate your shame, to eradicate your guilt. But maybe that’s impossible. I’m beginning to think the real reason you’re here is that you’re just one horny, dishonorable slut who thinks I’ll be a safe fuck. You’re thinking Daniel Prothero wouldn’t dare let this slip because I’m such a good friend of the family. Is that it?”
“No, that’s not it. I don’t claim to understand what this is all about. But I was hoping coming here would help.”
“But of course, it’s not working. It’s just reminding you of what you think you can’t have, the very thing you’re trying to yank out of your consciousness. Geez, girl, your psyche’s like a pretzel. I’ve had enough of you today. Now get out.”
She stared at him too shocked to move.
“I said, get out! Now!”
She scrambled to her feet and hurriedly dressed, while fending off another round of tears. She had no time to figure out what just happened, but it seemed that irreparable damage had been done and she had no idea why.
She practically ran from the room, driven away by someone who obviously despised her, however, when she reached the door, he stopped her in her tracks.
“I expect to see you here next week, same time. Whatever I said to you today was intended to make you think. All planned. So think about it, Madeleine. That should keep you busy for the next week.”
She knew that it wasn’t all planned—he was an extemporaneous man. How she’d provoked such a strong reaction in him she was not yet sure. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea—in fact, if she was being reasonable at all, she should have gone to a psychologist instead of the one man with whom she was most likely to stray from her marriage vows. What a stupid idea this really was, but would she end it? Likely not.
***
Another week and she anxiously made her way to Daniel Prothero’s door again, knocking with the same sharp determined rap once she decided to go through with whatever scene was planned this time. If he asked her what she thought about the last week, since that was what he ordered her to do, she would have nothing to tell him. Not that the arrangement hadn’t been on her mind; it had been. But so had many other things. Robbie had not been feeling well and had spent four days in bed, even though he basically ran the Endowment from his bedside, making sure that Madeleine followed through with dozens of calls, two important phone conferences with contributors, and getting the new mailer from the printers to the post office in time to make their strategic deadline. These were jobs she was used to, but not in such a large number, especially when everything was laid in her lap. Robbie had fired his part time help the week before. Admittedly, Jenny had been a bit of a dunce, but Robbie had not accounted for things like four days in bed. With all this happening, Madeleine was surprised at lunch on Wednesday when Robbie insisted that she take her usual afternoon off.
“I can’t take time off, hon! There’s too much to do.”
“You’d better take time off,” Robbie shot right back, “you’re looking haggard, and if there is anything that I don’t need it’s a haggard wife. You are my inspiration, Madeleine. Your pretty face is what I wake up to in the morning and you’ve been running yourself ragged since I got sick.”
So, he actually could see that. She hadn’t thought he’d noticed with the way he’d been barking out orders for the last several days.
“You don’t look well,” were Daniel’s first words when Madeleine entered his apartment.
“I’m just tired. It’s been rough since I was here last. Robbie’s been sick.”
“Anything serious?”
“I don’t think so. Just enough to make him grumpy and dump all his work on me. In fact, I expected to have to cancel today, but he practically pushed me out the door this afternoon.”
“He’s a good man at heart.”
“Don’t you suppose I know that?”
“Hum. Snippy too, I see.”
The amusement seemed to have returned to his face, none of the anger from the previous week. She would have liked to ask about his surly mood, but she was afraid to hear the truth, or suffer another tirade that would send her spiraling into a depression that only long hours of work could fix.
“I’m sorry. I’m really not looking for more punishable offenses.”
“Yes, you have plenty already, don’t you?” He was mocking her again, but she would not fight that either.
“To the chair, Madeleine. I think you could use a long hard punishment. Cures many ills.” There seemed to be something more behind that comment than the simple words, but again she restrained the desire to probe his thoughts…
…which meant that the punishment was the most straightforward so far. No preliminaries to muddy up their emotions.
He did make her strip out of her clothes: the slacks, which were obviously in the way, and her sweater. She had the distinct feeling that he enjoyed looking at her breasts as much as most men did. If he wanted to keep these incidents strictly punishment sessions and not arouse her, this certainly wouldn’t help. But then she wasn’t going to argue, not this day. The very strict feel of the session was plainly evident and exactly what she needed.
She bent over the back of a straight-backed chair, pressing her palms against the seat and let Daniel take her panties down. She closed her eyes, shivering in anticipation, and when the first blow kissed her skin an especially deep shudder resulted. Leather. He was using a leather strap; she could feel the difference right away. Her mind was hardwired for leather, the consummate weapon of punishment—nothing put her in that surrendering space more easily, not even a punishment paddle. She imagined she could smell its fragrance, though she doubted that it was actually close enough to infect her senses with its rich perfume.
As arousing as that leather strap might have been, however, she learned that leather leaves as punishing an imprint on flesh as any other punishment tool. The first lashing strokes made her body burn with lust again, but that was quickly forgotten as Daniel repeated the treatment again and again, until she was in a foot-stomping uproar to match any she’d suffered from him so far. Having no desire to rile the man by getting vocal with her pleas for mercy, she contained her cries—though just barely. The sole thought in her mind was paying for her crimes of passion, loosing the tight-fisted hold that years of shame had placed on her and maybe finding something in all this that made sense. Maybe there was some secret that would come to mind, a reason why she’d felt this way for so many years, why she’d danced around the issue, why it had brought her to Daniel Prothero.
Once again, Daniel did a damn good job of blistering her ass. And instead of his leading the scene into disconcerting and forbidden moments of sexual desire, he was perfunctory in his task, making it no more than his obligation. After it was over, he sat down at his desk and read through some papers while she remained bent over with her hands still on the seat of the chair. Finally he dismissed her with a simple, “You can go now.”
She was much relieved, although the way he seemed to be so dispassionate did nothing to stop her clamoring arousal. It was happening regardless of her desire to keep sex out of the arrangement. When she left the apartment, her body was in a furious state and it was all she could do to stop herself from grabbing a bottle of Vodka and spending the next three hours lost in a masturbatory frenzy in some cheap motel. She went to a movie instead—a political thriller, the kind she normally hated and had a hard time following. But this one seemed to grab her attention from the very first intriguing lines and would not let her go until the last scene turned to black and the credits rolled. She barely recalled where she’d spent the hour previous to entering the movie theatre, just the slow subtle, sexual dance in her belly remained, and that she could handle. In fact, she was feeling much better about ‘the arrangement’ by the time she arrived home.
Robbie was feeling much better too. She found him in his office, pouring over a stack of bills. For nearly a minute she stood by the door and watched his earnest attention to business matters.
“You really don’t need to do that now, hon,” she finally said as she entered the room and put her arms around him from behind. He reached up and took her hands, holding them tight in his. This kind affection between them was common now. His hands were still strong and firm, enough to remind her of the man he once was. Some days it was all she needed to get by. Although some days she needed Daniel too.
“I know I don’t have to do it now,” Robbie said. “But it has to be done and I was tired of that damn bed. I even made a few phone calls to the employment agency. This manpower shortage will not happen again. I promise.”
“Oh, we have survived worse, Rob. I’m pretty good in a pinch, when I have to be.”
“But this is my cause. I’m the one that has all these big plans.”
“Oh no! It’s my cause too.” She moved around the wheelchair and leaned against the desk in front of him.
“So you had a good afternoon?” he asked.
“I had a great afternoon. Saw that new Matt Damon movie.”
“Gwen go with you?”
“No, she wasn’t available, so I went anyway. I’m glad I did.”
“I thought that wasn’t your kind of movie.”
“Well, it was today. Took my mind off the rest of the world.”
“Exactly what you needed. Now, how about we go for a little spin outside? What do you say?”
This was an unexpected but pleasant surprise. “I’d love to.”
Like any loving couple might, they enjoyed the early evening on the patio, waiting until dinner, talking about business and movies and a little party Robbie wanted to have in a couple weeks. Normalcy returned, which had the immediate effect of restoring Madeleine’s faith in what she was doing with Daniel Prothero. What was seamy and sometimes totally vulgar had been vindicated, at least until the need arose again, which it would by the time the next Wednesday rolled around.
***
Madeleine had always been good at games of pretend. Dress up at five years old. Cops and robbers when she was eight and romantic prom dates at sixteen. At thirty two, she tried hard to be the penitent wife, believing that the weekly punishments from Daniel Prothero, which had settled into a basic routine, were actually the appropriate hard time she needed to pay for her flawed character. That she didn’t understand what drove her obsession didn’t seem important when the fiery heat of her bottom, the pain and the lingering soreness seemed to revive her spirits. Even the routine felt important. Every Wednesday afternoon worked perfectly.
Did her punishment sessions with Daniel stop her sexual desire? Not hardly. But that sexual desire seemed more manageable, more under her control than previous. A Daniel Prothero punishment once a week, a little harmless masturbation every few days, and the threat of those outrageous motel room scenes seemed to vanish. Once she settled into the routine being the penitent wife seemed to work, or so she thought.
Robbie’s dinner party was nothing like the ones he used to give at the estate. This one was far more normal, Zack and Rachel came, so did Elliot and Mary—Jason and Carly had moved to California so the McKellars rarely saw them. A few family members joined the party too, Robbie’s parents, along with some of their normal crowd and their good friend Daniel Prothero. Madeleine did not bother to check Robbie’s guest list, so while she was not entirely surprised when her Wednesday afternoon date showed up, she was surprised to see that he’d arrived with a beautiful blonde female on his arm. The woman was about Madeleine’s age, with her well-proportioned body fitting neatly into a short red dress with daring cleavage. From the way the two spoke, Madeleine could see that this was not a first date. The fact that Daniel would have a girlfriend had honestly not crossed her mind. In all the years she’d known him, he rarely showed up at a family gathering with a woman—just once that she could remember from sever
al years before. He’d always touted his bachelorhood as his natural preference; although that wouldn’t mean that he’d given up women altogether.
But at Robbie’s party? Now?
Her angry solar plexus engaged as soon as she spotted him, and as much as she tried to ignore the man, he and Christine always seemed close by. Was he deliberately trying to get in her way?
As far as Madeleine was concerned the entire party was ruined for her. To get through the evening and stay sane, there’d be another game of pretend to play. She dove into the role of gracious hostess, refusing to stop for anything as she fussed with the guests and drinks and food, until Robbie finally captured her by the skirt and pulled her close.
“Will you please sit down and eat!”
“But I have things to do!” She pointed toward the kitchen.
“That’s why we have servants, why I hired a caterer. You’re supposed to be at my side, wife.” He made his comments as discreetly as possible, but not so Daniel didn’t hear. He and his female friend happened to be sitting directly across from Robbie on the patio, drinking martinis and enjoying spinach tarts the waiter had just served. After Daniel thoughtfully observed the exchange, he added his two cents:
“Yes, Maddy, you’ve been running around here all evening. Your feet must be killing you in those heels.”
Without thinking, she shot him a razor sharp glance, then looked at Robbie with a smile. “I suppose I should.”
“You have a drink?” he asked.
“I must have left it in the kitchen.”
“I’ll get you one.” Daniel popped up from his chair and moved to the bar, returning a moment later with an extra-dry martini. “Did I remember right? Vodka?”
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