My Journey

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My Journey Page 9

by Amalie Coles


  “What? I’m not coming back after one week!” There was no way I would return without finishing my work in Ashkelon.

  “The Gaza conflict is in the news! They fired several rockets today, including a few to the south. It doesn’t look good.”

  “Mom, I’m sorry, but I’m not going anywhere,” I repeated. “The security is very tough here, and we are well-protected by the Iron Dome. If anything serious happens, we’ll be evacuated.”

  “Do you really need to be evacuated? And what if the Iron Dome fails?” I could clearly sense panic in her voice.

  “It won’t.” I tried to sound as persuasive as possible.

  “OK, but please be careful. And don’t go anywhere alone. Remember those kids who got kidnapped?”

  “Mom, that was in the West Bank, and we are in Ashkelon. But fine, I won’t walk alone anymore.” My statement was partly untrue because I still hoped to continue my solo walks to the beach. However, I was willing to say anything to prevent my parents from buying me a ticket to Toronto.

  “I’m so worried about you, Becky. If only you knew!”

  “I understand, Mom. I’m sorry.”

  “Becky, love, please be careful.”

  “Love you, Mom.”

  I hung up the phone and walked back to the table feeling a bit sad. If the stupid missiles hadn’t been fired, this day would have been perfect.

  “Is everything OK?” Karen asked, sensing my worry.

  “The news on the missiles reached my parents,” I replied, staring blankly at my spicy fish.

  “Don’t worry. It’s been like this for many years,” Janice said. “If it were that bad, none of us would be here. I mean, we are taking a credit course. What university would send its students to a place that isn’t safe?”

  “Tell that to my Mom.”

  “Hey, I heard Eilat has a great party scene,” she added later, when we were already finishing our main courses. “Maybe we should come back here during our next weekend.”

  “Unless they plan some other tour,” Madeline remarked.

  The idea sounded quite appealing. We could all hop into one big car we would rent at a local dealership and drive to Eilat at sunset. Then we would spend a night grooving to “Az Yalla” by Lior Narkis and other Oriental hits.

  “We should also go to Beit Guvrin,” Karen suggested. “It’s only a few minutes’ drive from Ashkelon, and I heard it’s impressive.”

  “What is it?” Madeline asked curiously.

  “It’s a Roman site famous for its colourful mosaics and tunnels. I’m sure you all will love it.”

  “Are you referring to the Maresha caves?” I asked, recalling an article from the BAR magazine.

  “I think so.”

  “Excuse me. Did I hear something about the Maresha caves?” George asked as he approached our table. Up until now, he was sitting with Luke and Vincent, completely oblivious to our conversation.

  “Yes, you did,” I said, staring directly into his eyes.

  “We should do it during one of the breaks,” Karen said. “Just rent a car and drive there.”

  “Hmm, it sounds like a cool idea,” he said pensively.

  “How about Eilat?” Janice chimed in. “We were also thinking about driving to Eilat next weekend or the one after.”

  “And party till sunrise,” I added.

  “Hmm, I’ll have to think about that,” George replied.

  “Cheers.” Janice raised a glass of wine.

  ***

  On our way back, I ended up sitting with George, and I couldn’t deny he was a good company. We chatted about his studies and his previous trips to Israel. It turned out that at Tell es-Safi, he even supervised a small group of students.

  “Have a great night,” he told me at the hotel entrance.

  “You too,” I replied and walked away, feeling butterflies flutter in my stomach. In the room, I ran into Rachel, who gave me a dirty look.

  “Want to use the shower first?” I asked.

  She didn’t say anything but simply grabbed a towel and went to the bathroom. Janice and Madeline entered the room a few minutes later. They were discussing some report they had to submit on Monday.

  “We should try completing it tomorrow afternoon,” Madeline suggested.

  “That’s a good idea,” Janice said. “We could finish it after lunch and hand it in right away. Maybe we’ll even have time for the beach.” The thought of the Mediterranean Sea made me smile.

  “Lucky you! You don’t have to study for this dig,” Madeline said to me.

  I wanted to tell them how lucky they were not to have my job. Unless they were working somewhere part-time, they weren’t dealing with angry customers on a regular basis. Nor were they overwhelmed with boring orders and invoices.

  Soon Rachel stepped out of the shower, and I was allowed to go next. As I was standing under a warm stream of water, I thought about the events of the day. I thought about the unexpected siren and the fear, which were followed by memorable stops at colourful sites and mind-provoking conversations with George. I wondered what it would feel like to attend the dig for two or three consecutive years. People like George were truly committed to the field, while I and most other volunteers were spending less than a month helping out with the dirty work.

  I also wondered about the future of my own expedition. It was highly unlikely that I would come back the following summer. Instead, I was destined to finish the dig and to go back to my ordinary life. I definitely had to enjoy this opportunity while it lasted. Next day, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about him. I hoped to run into him at the site or during meal times, but he was nowhere to be seen. I hoped to bump into him at the hotel or on a street. Even my solo walk to the beach in the afternoon failed to provide me with the sense of calm I had enjoyed a few days earlier.

  My jitters were mixed with feelings of guilt and confusion. I knew it was wrong to have this feeling, and yet here it was—the feeling I hadn’t experienced in a long time—the thrill of meeting someone new. For the first time in my life, I began to wonder if getting married at twenty-two was the right choice. I tried not to dwell on this thought.

  During dinner, I sat with Jocelyn and Carol, as I often did. In spite of our age difference, I really enjoyed talking to them. One thing led to another, and we started discussing our personal lives. Carol had been married for thirty-five years; Jocelyn, for twenty. At the back of my mind, I wondered if they had ever encountered the same issue. Had they ever had a crush at some point? If so, how did they handle it? Of course, I wouldn’t dare to ask such a question.

  “My first marriage failed after ten years, and I was single through my thirties,” Jocelyn began. “Then I met my current husband and couldn’t be happier.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “I was too young when I got married the first time,” she replied. “Only twenty-two.”

  I felt chills run down my spine. I had been exactly the same age as her, and to top it off, everyone had been warning me against making a potential mistake.

  “Did you grow apart with time?”

  “Yes. We were too different from each other.”

  “But how?” I knew it was none of my business, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

  “He was an engineer who worked long hours and preferred staying home most of the time, and I am a teacher and a very outgoing person, as you’ve probably already noticed.”

  Jason and I also came from different occupations. Although it never bothered me before, I started to worry that it could create issues down the road. I was already craving conversations he couldn’t provide and was getting them on the side.

  “Did you notice differences right away?” I asked, hoping that she would, at least, say yes. It would give me some peace of mind, knowing that Jason and I hadn’t noticed any issues yet.

  “No, it wasn’t until our fifth anniversary when we started having problems.”

  “I also married young, and your story makes
me feel worried,” I admitted.

  I had never been that open with anyone, not even with Dalia or Erin. Yet I was confessing my fears to someone I’d known for a little longer than a week.

  “Does your husband allow you to have friends and a life outside of home?” Jocelyn asked.

  “Of course!” I exclaimed. “In fact, this whole trip is proof of how much independence I get to have.”

  “My first husband wasn’t like that at all,” she said. “He was too jealous. I could have never gone on this trip if he were still around.”

  “Do you come from the same background?” Carol continued.

  “More or less,” I replied. “My family is Irish, and my husband is a mix of British, French, and Native. We both grew up in the suburbs.”

  “Are you from the same faith?” Jocelyn asked.

  “We are not religious. We celebrate Christmas and Easter, and we believe in the Higher Power, but that’s pretty much it.”

  “Look, I think you’ve got a strong marriage,” Jocelyn reassured me.

  I felt relieved. Maybe I was just obsessing over the whole thing. Sure, George and I had a few interests in common, and I liked him on the outside. However, it didn’t have to mean anything. Besides, who said that having friends outside of marriage was a crime?

  My self-convincing only worked until the night when I saw him in a dream. We were walking on a beach and discussing something related to archaeology, when he suddenly started kissing me. As I felt his body pressed against mine, I became overwhelmed with desire. Suddenly, the earth started shaking under us, and I began to fall. Then I found myself standing alone in some dark, foreign place feeling frightened and lonely. I woke up breathing hard.

  “What happened?” Janice asked, stretching. “You just screamed.”

  “Did I?” I hoped I didn’t give them any other clues about my dream.

  “Yes.”

  “Nothing. Just a bad dream,” I replied briskly.

  “Can we have some quiet sleep, please?” Rachel grumbled.

  “I didn’t sleep well either.” Madeline came to my defence. “And it’s time to go.” I turned my head towards the window and saw the first rays of sun shining at us.

  During the first part of the morning, I was plagued by different thoughts. Did I truly have feelings for George? If so, would they go away in time? I exchanged a few text messages with Jason during breakfast just to feel better. The heavy thoughts disappeared during the second part of the fieldwork, when sorting through pottery shards and trying to discern bases from handles made me forget all about the world outside. My fascination with the lab work was stronger than any worry on earth.

  Chapter 11

  The following week, the excavation project continued as usual. We had digging and lab work in the early mornings, free time and pottery washing in the afternoons, and occasional trips to the bar in the evenings. I became so involved in archaeology and the social life of the dig that I completely forgot about my doubts. My fears about the war were also gone. I caught the news about the Operation Protective Edge on the TV at one of the city’s cafés, but everyone around me seemed aloof.

  I met Shlomo a few times on my walks from the beach, and we exchanged a few words in Hebrew. He asked me about my archaeological work and whether I was enjoying my stay in Ashkelon. I told him about our trip to Eilat and even showed him the photos of the ibex I’d taken at the Ramon Crater. No missiles were mentioned, not even once. People were simply going about their businesses as if nothing wrong was happening.

  I kept receiving messages from Jason, who wanted to know everything about my whereabouts. He was constantly telling me how worried he was, and sometimes, I even found his attention smothering—something that never happened in our marriage. I kept reassuring him that I was perfectly safe, and if anything were to happen, we had bomb shelters and the Iron Dome. After all, the atmosphere around the town was so relaxed, and half the TV channels were broadcasting local concerts and soap operas. Everything changed on the night of George’s lecture.

  “Good evening, everyone,” he began. “Tonight, I’m going to talk about one of the most important sites from the Late Bronze Age. Has anyone heard about Beit Shean?”

  I raised my hand.

  “Good. Rebecca, can you please tell us a bit about it?”

  “Well, it was occupied by the Egyptians for nearly five hundred years. As a result, some Egyptian-style buildings and small artifacts were unearthed at the site.”

  “Thank you!” He smiled at me. “Among those artifacts were beer jars and flower pots, which I’m going to talk about tonight.” George pointed at images of plain vase-like objects.

  “It’s commonly believed they were used as part of an Egyptian food ritual that involved bread and beer. By the way, did you know the Egyptians were big drinkers?”

  Ripples of laughter passed through the room. Jokes like this one were not uncommon in the academic world. In fact, lecturers with the greatest number of jokes always received highest ranks on RateMyProfessors.Com. As a future course instructor, George was definitely showing a lot of promise in that area.

  “The question is whether the Egyptian-style pottery was produced by the local population or if it was imported from Egypt,” he continued. “I am planning to discuss the two theories: the emulation model and the direct rule.”

  Bzzzz! The siren rang, interrupting the flow of the lecture. Everyone got up from their seats and started running towards the bomb shelter. For a few seconds, I sat in my chair motionless. I felt scared, of course, but a huge part of me was also disappointed about the interruption. George ran to me, grabbed my arm, and screamed, “Run!”

  “But your presentation!” I protested a few seconds later, when we were already inside.

  “Don’t you realize that staying alive is the most important thing right now?” he nearly screamed.

  “Well, I hope the rocket doesn’t hit your computer, ’cause those images are priceless.”

  “Thanks, Becky.” He laughed. “I hope it doesn’t even reach the town.”

  We stayed inside the shelter for a while. By the time the situation was cleared, it was already quarter to eleven, time to go to sleep.

  “Unfortunately, due to unforeseeable circumstances, the lecture has been cancelled,” Lawrence Stager announced as soon as we returned to the conference room. “We hope to resume it another time.”

  It was then the reality of the conflict hit me hard. We were in the midst of a war. Any one of us could be gone or get seriously injured at any moment.

  Before going to bed, I stepped outside into the pool area, hoping fresh air would help me calm my nerves. Without thinking twice, I took out my cell phone and dialled Erin’s number.

  “Hey, girl! How are you?” she asked, cheerful as usual.

  “I’m great. Love it here. Yourself?”

  “Eh, nothing much. Except that Alex and I broke up.”

  “Oh, sorry to hear about that.”

  “It’s OK. It’s for the best.”

  “What happened?”

  “It’s been three months now, and I still haven’t felt anything,” Erin confessed. “No butterflies, no nothing.”

  “Really? Maybe you could give it some time.”

  “How much more time, Becky? It’s clear we are not meant to be. I know that giddy in-love feeling isn’t everything, but it must mean something, right?”

  “Definitely!” I recalled how much in love I was when I first met Jason.

  “And since I don’t feel anything, I decided to call it quits.”

  “You’ve made the right choice, Erin. I wouldn’t want to go out with someone just for the sake of having a boyfriend.”

  “Exactly! So, yesterday, I told him exactly how I feel.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He asked me for another chance, but I already know it has nothing to do with him. It’s me, Becky.”

  “Well, I hope it all works out well in the end.”

  “Me too. I’
m so exhausted from the dating scene. I’m ready to take a break.” She sighed profoundly.

  “Maybe it’s a good idea. Just focus on yourself. Take a solo vacation or something.”

  “Maybe. Anyway, why are we talking about my problems? How’s everything with you?”

  “Well, as I said, I’ve been enjoying the dig. But I have an issue, and I need your advice.”

  “What is it?”

  I took a deep breath, thinking about everything that happened in the past few days.

  “Do you think I should stay here till the end of our excavation season?”

  “What do you mean? Aren’t you supposed to be there for two more weeks or so?”

  “Yes, but I’m starting to worry about the situation here. It looks like Israel is going into a war with Gaza. Mom is constantly worried about me, and so is Jason.”

  “Oh, yeah, I can see that. Becky, we are all worried about you. But I personally think you should stay.”

  “Really?” Her opinion made me feel a bit relieved.

  “The truth is, I’ve never heard you sound so happy. Not even on your wedding day! Every time you call or leave a text message, I can almost see your sweet smile.”

  “Wow, I didn’t know that!”

  “I know Mom will try to persuade you to come back and stuff, but if this place makes you happy, then you should stay.”

  “Thanks, Erin. I’m glad you said so.”

  I looked around and made sure no one was nearby to hear me. The pool area was completely empty. Then I climbed on a sun bed and looked up at the sky. The missiles could appear at any moment, but so far, all I could see was the stars and the moon.

  “There is another thing I need to tell you,” I started. “But you must promise not to judge me and not to tell anyone.”

  “What is it? Please don’t tell me you’ve met someone new on your dig.”

  I took a deep breath. “Well, sort of. His name is George, and he is studying at the Wheaton College in the States. He’s really good looking. We started out as friends, but now I’m finding myself attracted to him, and I can’t help it. We seem to have so much in common! I know it all sounds terrible, but....”

 

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