by Amalie Coles
“But why? It wasn’t your fault.”
“I felt that our parents were forced into having me. I’d rather be the product of a drunken one-night stand than be born out of an obligation. It took me a long time to learn how to forgive.”
“How come no one ever told me until today?”
“We didn’t want to upset you, Becky. You always thought of us as a happy family.”
“I still do, Erin.”
“Good for you. I always believed we were a bit dysfunctional.”
“No way! I don’t think you even know what that word means.”
“Do you remember the amount of fighting we did after moving to Toronto? It was a nightmare!”
“We were going through tough times, Erin. Well, you weren’t, of course, but everyone else, including myself, was walking on eggshells.”
“What makes you think I wasn’t going through tough times as well?”
“You were always so happy and cheerful. You loved our new school and your new friends. I couldn’t blame you for that.”
“Me loving Forest Hill? You gotta be kidding me!” She laughed.
“Wait, is there something else I need to know?”
“I probably hated high school more than you did. That mandatory English class and those Science courses I had to take were killing me. I still don’t know how I pulled it through in the end.”
“I hear you, Erin. I struggled with classes, too. But at least you had friends and a boyfriend.”
“My friends were all fake, and my boyfriend...I don’t even want to talk about him.”
“Why? I thought you were happy together.”
“We had a lot of problems since the first day we’d met. Trust me, I tried hard to make it work, but we were simply not meant to be.”
“Why?”
“He thought I wasn’t sophisticated enough for his family.”
I gazed at my sister with a mouth agape. Erin, the social butterfly, the fashionista! The girl everyone admired. How could she possibly not be sophisticated?
“Remember I brought him home once?” she continued.
“Yes.”
“Next day, I asked him why he wouldn’t do the same for me. I felt I deserved to know his family. He told me his parents wouldn’t approve of me since I wasn’t Jewish.”
“What?”
“We had a terrible fight but made up a few days later when he took me to see Green Day. But even after that, we continued having our problems.”
“And you decided to break up with him.”
“It wasn’t me, Becky. I was so naive that I believed he loved me in spite of everything. At the heart of it all was the fact that he wanted to study at McGill and to become a lawyer, which was totally cool with me. I wouldn’t mind continuing long-distance. When I caught him making out with another girl at the prom, he announced we were over. Worst of all, that chick flat out told me that Jake would never feel serious about a college-bound girl like me. I was way out of his league.”
Now it made sense why Erin always stayed away from guys that belonged to higher circles. Every time she met someone from a medical or a law school, she would run for the hills without even giving the poor guy a chance.
“Although I was devastated, I tried my best to hold it together for the rest of the night.”
“You’re so strong, Erin.” I would never stop admiring my sister’s ability to conceal her emotions.
“I’m simply good at hiding my feelings when I need to.”
“I need to practice on that.” I recalled all the tears I’d shed openly.
“Anyway, men complicate our lives. That’s why I decided that I don’t need one anymore.”
“Well, it’s good to take a break from dating and revaluate things.”
“No, I’m not on a break, Becky. I’m done with relationships. Done for good!” She looked dead serious.
“Really? What made you decide?”
“Shortly before we came here, I saw Jake walking down the street with some high-profile chick. They looked like a celebrity couple. When I casually said ‘hi,’ he ignored me. It was the final straw for me.”
“Was it the day I called you?”
“Yes, Becky. I’m sorry for being so insensitive on that day.”
“It’s OK. I understand.”
“I’m just sick of wasting my time on assholes.”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone worthwhile in time.”
“No more waiting for me, Becky. From now on, I’ll focus only on myself.”
“That’s a pretty drastic decision to make.” I felt a bit shocked by her announcement. Was she ready to put off dating for good?
“No, it’s not.” She sounded determined. “I just woke up the next day, looked in the mirror, and realized that I’m perfectly complete on my own. I know it may sound like a cliché, but it’s true. I have you, Mom, Dad, and my friends. We hang out sometimes. I’ve got a great career I enjoy. I hope you’ll also find one someday.”
“Me too.”
“And I’m glad my younger sister is alive.” Erin hugged me close.
“And she’s about to embark on a new journey.” I smiled.
Chapter 29
“Do you think we could stay for a few days longer?” Erin suggested. It was my last day at the hospital, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I was getting weary of constant visits from doctors and nurses, who were always in and out administering medications and doing tests. I lost track of time and was grateful to the Leon Levy Expedition for having forced me to buy insurance before the dig. Otherwise, we would be broke by now.
“It sounds like a good idea,” I replied. Even though I had clearance from doctors to fly, I was still feeling too weak for a ten-hour long trip. Moreover, I really wanted to show Israel to my family now that they were here.
“Maybe we should go and look for a hotel,” my father suggested.
“What do you think, Mom?” I looked at her pleadingly.
“Well, I was keen on bringing my baby home as soon as possible, but the majority wants to stay.”
“Come on, Mom. We all need a vacation. Besides, I’ve already missed my flight, and I believe you had a one-way ticket, so you can return anytime you like.”
“So, I guess, it’s all decided,” my father announced. “Tonight, you stay here and we go look for a hotel.”
“Call us if you need any help,” my mother said. “Here is our phone number.” She passed me a piece of paper.
“Oh, by the way, I completely forgot,” Erin added. Having fumbled through her purse, she produced a cell phone and a charger. “I believe it’s yours.”
“Let me have a look. Yes, it’s mine.”
“It was the first thing they gave me when we got here. I was planning to return it to you, but it somehow slipped out of my mind.”
“No worries, Erin. Thank you.” I took the phone from her.
“You can use my charger. I have a spare one at the hotel.”
“I believe mine’s in the suitcase. By the way, do you know how my things reached the hospital?”
“Jason drove back to Tel Aviv and brought them over shortly before you woke up,” my mother said.
The mere mentioning of his name made me feel as if someone had stabbed me in the chest with a sharp knife.
“Becky, are you OK?” Erin asked.
“I’m all right. Just a little bit of pain over here.” I pointed at where I believed my heart was located.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get over him by the end of this trip.”
“I can try.”
“We’ll spend some time together, go to beaches, and maybe even do a few day trips if you like.”
“It’s so kind of you all.”
“We’ll do anything to see you smile again.”
“What would I do without my family?” I exclaimed.
We all came closer and shared a group hug.
***
He was nowhere in sight. I’ve been going around the hospital
for nearly an hour but couldn’t find him. I got lost a couple of times but later figured out how to get back to the wing where I was staying. What if I left without seeing him for the last time? He had saved my life, and I had let him down.
“Do you need any help?” a man in a hospital uniform asked me.
“I’m visiting Shye Elias,” I lied. This morning, I had finally changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Before embarking on my search, I slipped on a pair of black glasses so that people wouldn’t recognize me easily.
“You must be his cousin, right?”
“No, I’m just a friend of his.” Quite honestly, I was terrible at lying and would rather let it be over already.
“All right, I’ll show you where he is. Follow me.”
When I entered the room, Shye was sitting together with Avi and a girl in her late teens. The three of them were talking animatedly in Hebrew.
“Rebecca, motek!” Avi’s face lightened up as soon as he saw me.
“Hi! I came to apologize for being so mean to you.”
“Ah, forget about it. Come join us.”
I took a few steps towards the bed on which they were sitting.
“There is someone I’d like you to meet,” he said. “This is my cousin Sigal, and she’s a rising star in the Israeli music scene.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“She knows everyone,” Avi told her. “And she’s a fan of Sarit Hadad.”
“Really?” Sigal was definitely surprised. “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Toronto, Canada.”
“I’ve been there during my senior high school year. I did an English summer camp.”
“Oh really? May I ask you which one was it?”
“CISS, I believe. We lived at the U of T campus.”
“Oh my God! I worked there six years ago.”
“Well, I was there three years ago. We wouldn’t have met.”
“Did you like it?”
“Oh, it was amazing! I loved all the sightseeing that came with the package.”
“I was in a similar camp in New York during my junior high school years,” Shye said. “I stopped in Toronto on my way back.”
“Nice.”
“Anyway, I came here to entertain soldiers who were injured in the war,” Sigal declared.
“Including him.” Avi gave his brother a mild nudge.
“Yo, shut up, man!” the boy exclaimed.
“So, should we get the party started?” Avi asked. It’d been a while since he looked so happy and relaxed.
Out of nowhere, Sigal pulled out a guitar and began to sing “Tachzor Tachzor” by Mashina. I slowly joined her, and so did the boys. The four of us sat together for several hours, talking, laughing, and singing. We had sung all the songs we knew, from Ethnix’ rock ballads to the latest hits of Keren Peles and Miri Messika. Some of them we improvised. Halfway through our singing session, a nurse came in with a plate of food.
“What are you all doing here?” she asked sternly.
“We’re having a party,” Shye replied.
“Have fun, but remember you cannot drink yet.” The lady put down the tray.
“Why so?” I asked out of curiosity.
“The medications might interact badly with the alcohol. It applies to you as well.” She pointed at me.
“I’ll be off painkillers soon,” I explained.
“Good. But now, don’t even think about drinking.” Without saying anything further, she left.
“You’re all welcome to have my falafel,” Shye announced, passing the tray with pita wraps and shakshuka salads.
“Thank you,” we all said in unison.
“So, how did you end up in music?” I asked Sigal as we were munching on the wraps.
“I always knew I wanted to sing,” the girl replied, her eyes sparkling.
“That’s nice when you know what you want to do in your life.” I gave off a profound sigh.
“Looks like you’re one of those people who take longer to figure it out,” she said with a smile. “But don’t worry. He doesn’t know what he wants to be either.” She pointed at Shye.
“What? I know what I want be!” Shye said defensively. “I want to be a Prime Minister.”
“See? He’s got his head up in the clouds.” Sigal giggled.
“Like, you’re the only one allowed to dream big!” Shye looked offended.
“Guys, stop!” Avi intervened.
“All right, how long did it take you to figure out that you wanted to become a prof?” Sigal asked Avi.
“Who told you I want to be prof?”
“I, um, just assumed.”
“Well, I hope to get a job after I finish my dissertation, but I’m not sure if I’ll be lecturing or doing research.”
“You didn’t answer my question, Avi.”
I held my breath. I wanted to know the answer, too.
“I’ll tell you then. When we were kids, our family went on a camping trip to the north.”
“Are you talking about the time when you accidentally found a prehistoric tool in our campground?” Shye asked.
“Yes! I found a Neolithic spear.” His eyes sparkled with the same excitement I’d seen back at the Albright Institute when he told me about his field. “You wanted to throw it away, thinking it was rubbish. But I knew better. On our way back, we contacted the authorities to report the find. As a result, a new archaeological site was discovered under that campground.”
“Then you turned into this geek obsessed with archaeology,” Sigal noted.
“Ha ha, that sounds much like me.” I recalled late afternoons spent with the encyclopaedia at my mother’s bookstore.
“Here you go. You have your answer,” Sigal said. “You just have to believe in yourself.”
“I wish it was that easy.” I sighed.
“Rebecca, I know how you feel.”
“Do you?”
“Are you familiar with Kokhav Nolad?”
“Oh, yes.”
“She wants to run for it next summer,” Avi explained. “She’s been driving all of us crazy lately.”
“Shut up, you geek!” Sigal playfully slapped him on an elbow.
“It’s the same as me getting a chance to present at the ASOR Annual Meeting,” Avi added.
“Kokhav Nolad is very competitive. If I end up as a runner-up, I might even sing at the Eurovision. You know what it is, right?”
“Yes, I know what it is.” I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, it seemed to me that I knew more about Israeli entertainment than I did about Canadian Idol or the Blue Jays. Never mind that I’ve been living in Toronto for more than a decade.
“Want another song?” Sigal asked.
“I’m definitely up for it,” I replied.
We spent another thirty minutes singing together and cracking jokes. Being surrounded by people with positive energy definitely made me feel better. I already knew that in time, I would get through this rough patch.
“I think it’s getting a bit late,” Avi said in the end. “I’m afraid they might kick us out soon.”
“Don’t worry. I’m leaving in a few,” Sigal replied, packing her guitar away.
“Goodnight, everyone,” I said, walking out the door. “Thank you for such a great company.”
“Wait, I’ll walk you to your room.” Avi ran after me. “You wait here. I’m giving you a ride.” He looked directly at Sigal.
We walked quietly through the corridor, my heart racing.
“Avi, I’m really sorry for acting so meanly the other day,” I said when we were already standing by my room.
“Becky, I told you already it’s nothing.”
“So, you aren’t angry at me?”
“Of course not! You were still weak after the surgery and in shock from the news. I totally understand. In fact, it was I who should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
“It’s OK. I deserve to know.”
“So, I heard you’re going home soon. You must be missing it a lot
.”
“Yes, but I plan to stay in Israel for a few more days and to spend some time with my family.”
“That’s what I’m planning to do as well. I’ve been thinking about taking a break from my studies and travelling the world with Shye. He’ll be finishing with the army this fall.”
“Don’t you have work to do at the university?” I was a bit surprised by his sudden change of plans.
“Work can wait. After all, family is more important, right? I mean, I won’t be gone forever. A couple of months won’t make much difference.”
“Well, all the best to both of you. I hope the war will end soon.”
“Thank you, Becky. I hope so, too.”
“By the way, I’m planning to apply to a grad school.”
“Well, I guess that means I made the right choice when I decided to become your blood donor.” He smiled. “I didn’t want the world to lose such a great scholar.”
“I hope it’s not the only reason you’d do that.”
“Of course not, Becky! My feelings for you will always be the same regardless of what you choose to do in your life.”
“I also broke up with Jason.” I decided to tell him everything.
“Does it mean you are free?” His eyes sparkled with hope.
“I’m not ready for a relationship.” The last thing I wanted was to drag Avi into something that would end badly, for I would never be able to make him happy. More than enough damage had been already done.
“I understand, Becky. But if you ever feel ready, please let me know.”
“I’m afraid it will be a while.”
“That’s all right.”
“Thank you so much for everything, Avi.” I held his hand. “You’ll always be my friend.”
“You’re welcome, Rebecca.” He gave me a long, heartfelt hug.
After he left, I entered my room feeling lighthearted. Now that we’d talked, I was truly free.
Tomorrow, my family and I would leave the hospital and drive to Tel Aviv. My parents had already taken care of the details. We would stay in a small hotel by the sea. Our room would have two beds, one for Mom and Dad and one for me and Erin. It wasn’t an ideal arrangement, but it was definitely better than my current place. Although the Barzilai Hospital was very good in terms of the staff and service, I was getting tired of being confined to one room when so much was happening outside. Plus being a patient felt downright depressing.