“Mother, remember me? Your daughter Brooke.”
Coralee’s pretty blue eyes narrowed. “You’re not my daughter. Her name is Laurel.”
Erin saw the flash of pain in Brooke’s eyes as she took the chair across from her mother. “Okay, I’m Laurel.” Then she pointed to Erin. “Do you remember Erin?”
“Hi, Coralee.”
The older woman stood and went to Erin. “Hello, Erin.” The woman touched her face. “You are pretty.”
“Thank you. You are pretty, too.”
Coralee primped her hair. “Men tell me that all the time.”
Brooke stepped forward again. “Mother, I came to tell you something. I’m going to have another baby. Christopher is getting a little brother or sister.”
Coralee tilted her head as if trying to understand what her daughter said. “A baby? I have babies. Two beautiful baby girls.”
Coralee turned her attention back to Erin, then stepped forward and looked down at her stomach. “Oh, are you going to have a baby, too?”
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING Erin sat in her van after her shift ended and made a phone call to Dr. Gail Evans. She needed to make another appointment with the fertility specialist. Needless to say, the doctor wasn’t happy that she’d stopped her shots. Before Erin could start the series once again, she needed to go in for an appointment.
She couldn’t blame the doctor for her concern. Hormones weren’t anything to mess around with. Neither was Erin. She wasn’t getting any younger, and her window to have an easy pregnancy was quickly closing. This might be her last chance. A thrill rushed through her at the thought that in a few weeks she could be ready to be impregnated.
Even though her doctor told her she was in good physical shape, she was going to spend a lot of time praying that the insemination would take. She would have a healthy baby.
And nothing was going to stop her this time.
Her thoughts turned to Austin, and she was saddened knowing she couldn’t share this with him. She’d known on the first day they’d met, the man wasn’t for her. Yet she’d been foolish once again to start to hope that they could build something together. But she was wrong. Again.
In all fairness to Austin, he hadn’t made her any promises. She brushed a tear off her cheek. He didn’t want to set down roots, and she couldn’t give up her dream of a home and family. Truth was, she wasn’t enough to keep him here. She had to move past it and make her own life.
She drove down Main Street toward her apartment and decided she should eat something, recalling the three pounds she’d lost. After parking the van, she climbed out and quickly wrapped her coat around her as the cold air chilled her. November was here, and soon there would be snow and frigid temperatures. This was when she missed Las Vegas just a little bit.
Erin walked through the door into Sweet Heaven. Passing the glass case filled with bakery items, she somehow resisted the temptation.
“You need to eat healthy,” she murmured and looked up at the chalkboard menu overhead. One of their sandwiches to go would be nice. She glanced around. And she wouldn’t mind saying hello to Shelby.
The place was busy with the breakfast crowd, and she questioned her decision. She started to leave when she heard her name and looked around to see Shelby.
She was wrapped in a hug. “Erin, it’s so good to see you.”
“Good to see you, too. Glad your business is doing so well.”
“Yes, I’m happy about that.” Shelby looked around at the filled tables. “Let me find you a place to sit.”
“No need. I’ll just take one of your turkey cranberry sandwiches with me if it’s not too early for lunch.”
“Of course not, but please stay a little while. We haven’t talked in forever.”
Reluctantly, she agreed. “Okay, sure. But I’ll need to get home to sleep.”
“Sure.” Shelby took her by the arm. “Oh, look, there’s someone who’s been missing you.”
Erin tensed, but followed her friend to the back of the restaurant. Her heart stopped suddenly, then sped up when she saw Austin sitting at the small café table. He was dressed in faded jeans and a henley shirt, holding the baby on his lap. He looked sexy and endearing at the same time.
Shelby’s voice woke her from her musings. “I’m sure Austin wouldn’t mind sharing his table.”
Austin looked up at her. He seemed just as surprised as she was. “Erin...”
“Austin.” She didn’t take her eyes off the baby. Lilly had grown so much in only a week.
Hearing a bell sound, Shelby said, “I’ve got to go back to work. I’ll bring your sandwich.”
Before Erin could call her back, Shelby was gone. “Really, I shouldn’t intrude.”
The baby let out a cry, and suddenly Erin’s arms ached to hold her.
Then Austin said, “Don’t go, Erin. Please, stay, if only for Lilly.”
As Erin turned back around, Lilly was reaching for her. The baby grinned and cried out for her.
“Could I hold her?” she asked.
Austin held his daughter out to her. “Of course.”
Erin took the sweet bundle dressed in navy tights and a red ruffled long-sleeved shirt and a matching headband that Erin had picked out the day at Baby World. She cradled the baby close. Lilly immediately grabbed a handful of her hair. Erin smiled and sat down in the vacant chair. “How has she been? Any recurrence of croup?”
Austin shook his head. “Just had her to the doctor this morning, and she’s in perfect health.”
Erin finally looked at him, in those beautiful gray-green eyes, and was nearly lost. He had day-old growth along his jaw. He looked tired. “Is she sleeping all right?”
“She’s been waking up a lot.”
Erin sat the baby down on her lap. “Maybe you should increase the amount of cereal.”
“She’s not hungry. She misses you.” His gaze locked on hers. “I do, too, Erin.”
Oh, God. She missed him more than she thought possible. “I miss you both, too. But I need to move on with my life.”
Austin sat back and watched Erin with his daughter, and his heart ached for her. “Does moving on mean that you’re planning to do the IVF?”
She looked surprised at the question, but then she nodded. “I’ve never changed those plans. They only got delayed a bit. I’m hoping in a few weeks, I’ll be ready...”
He tried not to react, but his insides were churning with anger and jealousy. Erin would soon be pregnant with a stranger’s baby. “I know you’ve wanted that for a long time, and I’m sorry if we caused you any holdup.”
She shook her head. “No, I’ll never regret my time with Lilly.”
What about your time with me? “Well, I’m happy for you.” That was true, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to be the father to her child. By the look on her face, she wasn’t ready to hear anything he was about to tell her.
So he changed the subject. “I’ve made a lot of changes in my life, too. In a few weeks I’m getting this cast off.” He might have a limp, but he could deal with that. At least he’d be standing on his own two legs. That gave him a lot of possibilities, and hope.
She rewarded him with a genuine smile that had his pulse racing again. “That’s wonderful.”
“What would also be wonderful is if you’d be a part of our lives. And I’m not talking about being Lilly’s babysitter.”
Suddenly her smile faded as she pulled back. “I can’t, Austin.” She glanced around, avoiding his eyes. “With my schedule right now, I’m pretty busy. And in the long run, it’s better this way.”
He reached out and covered her hand with his. “Dammit, Erin. It doesn’t have to be this way between us. Why can’t we be together?”
Seeing the tears form in her eyes, he
felt like a heel. But her show of emotion also gave him hope that she still cared.
She hugged Lilly close, then handed her back. “I’m sorry, Austin.” She stood. “I can’t do this again. Goodbye.”
He started to call her back, but Lilly began to fuss. He rested his daughter against his shoulder and rubbed her back as he watched Erin walk out the door. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’m not giving up on your mommy.” He knew he only had a few weeks to convince her that he was a family man.
Chapter Eighteen
“So, what do you think?”
A week later, Austin stood alongside Dan Lynch, looking over the empty pasture at the ranch. The temperature was downright cold, and he was grateful the baby was strapped inside the warm truck. He held down the engineer’s building plans on the hood.
Dan remained silent.
“At least tell me if you’re interested.”
The older man nodded toward the papers. “Those are some mighty fancy plans you have here.”
Good—he was interested. “As you can see, this land is pretty much untouched, so I’m needing to build arenas and outbuildings.” He pointed toward the drawings of the four small cabins. “These structures are for the students to stay in during the training. I thought it would be better if the rookie riders had a onetime cost for everything since we’re far from town for lodging.”
Dan turned to him, showing every one of his sixty-three years in his lined face. “Sounds like a great idea, but I don’t have the capital to put into this business. All my money is wrapped up in my livestock.”
Austin wondered if a lot of Dan’s money had gone to pay for Megan’s medical bills. “I don’t need capital, but I need bulls to help train the rider. You have bulls. At least I’m hoping you’ll want to retire some of your stock here on the Circle R, so I can use them in the school.”
Dan shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re serious.”
“Dead serious. I own part of this ranch, so this will be my and Lilly’s permanent home. That little girl in the truck means more to me than any championship I ever won. I meant what I said before. I’d like you to be a part of her life.” He raised a hand before Dan could speak. “You can continue your rough stock business or just retire and live here. Once I build my new home, you’re welcome to move into the foreman’s place. All I ask is that you supply my stock.”
“Why me?”
“Because you’re good at what you do. But most importantly, you’re Lilly’s grandpa. She needs you in her life.”
The old man blinked and glanced away. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that little girl on a regular basis.” He sniffed and looked back at Austin. “I think Megan saw a lot more in you than any of us did. You’ve been a good father to Lilly, Austin. She seems so happy.”
“She’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m building this school for my daughter’s future. I’m finished with the rodeo, but I’m hoping my name and experience will make this business successful.”
Dan let out a long breath. “Since Megan died, I haven’t had much desire to travel, either. With her gone, I’ve been lost these past months.” The man looked at him. “You and Lilly just gave me a reason to start a new job. Thank you for this opportunity.”
“Hell, Dan, to carry this off, I need you, too. And Lilly just plain needs you around.”
Dan nodded. “I need her, too.”
Austin paused a moment, and Dan noticed. “Is there something else you want to say?”
Austin needed to put everything out on the table. “Yeah—there’s also a woman in my life. Well, she’s not in my life at the moment. I’m still trying to convince her that I’m the man she deserves. She adores Lilly and has taken care of her for the last month. We both love Erin, and I want to make it permanent between us.” He had to prove to her that he needed to be part of a family as much as she did. He hoped this was the first step.
* * *
TWO DAYS LATER, Erin made it to work at the care center. She had taken yesterday off because of the flu. Not wanting to get out of bed, she canceled her doctor’s appointment with Dr. Evans, afraid she might make others sick. She was able to get another appointment, but not until Friday. Then she was hoping she’d finally be able to focus on her life, and chance for a baby.
The halls were quiet as she walked around doing her room check. Everyone was in bed for the night, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t try to get up. There were sensors and monitors in every room. So far, so good.
She went to the nurses’ station and took a drink of her herbal tea. It seemed to help her still-unsettled stomach.
She glanced at the clock to see it was only 2:00 a.m. She had a long night ahead of her. Her thoughts turned to Austin. Was he asleep, or thinking about her? Was he with Lilly? Her chest tightened with feelings she couldn’t shake. She kept telling herself that she’d get over the two of them.
“Hi, Erin.”
Erin jerked around to see her supervisor, Shirley. She stood. “Oh, hi. I was checking the room monitors.”
Shirley took the seat next to hers. “Sit and take a minute. It’s not against the rules to take a few minutes. Besides, I want to find out how you’ve been.”
“I’m fine. Sorry about yesterday. I didn’t want anyone else sick.”
“You must have been feeling bad, because you never call in.” Her supervisor eyed her closely. “I hope you’re getting some sleep. You still look a little pale.” She paused. “You know if there’s something wrong, I’m a pretty good listener.”
Although she fought it, tears gathered in her eyes, but Erin couldn’t talk about Austin. “I appreciate that, Shirley. This is something I have to work out on my own.”
“Sounds like man troubles.” She patted her hand. “Since my divorce, I can bash with the best of them.”
“No bashing. We just wanted different things.” She shrugged. “It’s better we learn it now instead of later.”
There was a beeping sound on the screen and they both looked. “It’s Hattie’s room. I’ll go see what’s wrong.”
“Holler if you need help,” Shirley said.
With a nod, Erin took off down the hall and went into the patient’s dimly lit room.
She found the frail white-haired woman out of bed and going through her picture book. “Hattie,” Erin whispered. “What are you doing? You need your rest.”
“I can’t sleep. I’m afraid.”
She saw tears in the old woman’s eyes and took hold of her hand as she knelt down beside the bed. “What are you afraid of, Hattie?”
The woman looked at her. “If I go to sleep I won’t remember my Johnny. I can’t forget him—I promised. All the time he was gone overseas, I never forgot that he would come home to me.” A big smile appeared. “I never forgot him.”
“Oh, Hattie, you’re not going to forget him.” That was a lie. Erin reached out and touched Hattie’s forehead. “Johnny might not always be in here...” Then she touched her chest. “But he’ll always be in your heart.”
Erin took Hattie’s favorite picture of her beloved Johnny and helped the woman back into bed. “Here, you hold on to this.”
Hattie gripped Erin’s hand. “Stay with me.”
Erin nodded, then took her phone out of her pocket and texted Shirley at the desk.
Her supervisor texted back. Stay.
Once Hattie was settled in the bed, Erin sat down in the chair beside her and took hold of her hand. For the next hour, Hattie talked about her life with her husband. Erin cried, feeling the love that these two shared.
Finally Hattie whispered, “I miss him so much. No one understands that. I want to go and be with him.”
Erin stroked her hand. “Then you go be with your Johnny.”
Sometime before dawn, Hattie got her wish, and with her
children around her, she went to be with the man she’d loved for decades.
* * *
IT WAS SEVERAL hours later, and Erin had managed to get away from the care center and drive home. She was exhausted; her emotions were drained. After she parked her car, she walked through the courtyard to her first-floor apartment. She stopped when she saw a beautiful bouquet of flowers on her stoop. Who had sent them? Hope soared in her as she reached for the blooms, but stopped upon hearing her name. Turning around, she found Brooke. What was she doing here?
“Brooke, is something wrong?”
Her friend frowned. “No, I just haven’t been able to get ahold of you. You need to check in once in a while, because we worry about you. I understand why you didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner...but I need to see my friend.”
Erin was touched. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine. Just trying to catch up with work.”
Brooke glanced down at the flowers. “And your admirer. Who are they from—Austin?”
“I don’t know.” Erin managed to unlock the door and carried the vase inside. After setting the flowers on the table, she searched for a card, her friend looking over her shoulder. She opened it to read, I’m not giving up on us. Please come to the house for dinner tomorrow night at 7:00. Love, Austin.
“Oh, what does it say?”
Erin handed her the card, and she closed her eyes. What did that mean? And what was she supposed to do about it? She couldn’t deny she loved the man.
“Oh, they’re from Austin.” Her friend grew serious. “Please, don’t even try to deny there’s something between you two.”
“Not anymore. I mean, there was, but Austin had different ideas.”
Brooke’s pretty hazel eyes locked on hers. “Surely it isn’t anything you can’t work out.”
Erin sucked in a tired breath, inhaling the overly fragrant flowers. Suddenly her stomach rumbled, then flipped over. Not good. She hurried to the bathroom and proceeded to empty her stomach. Once she finished, she sank to the floor in the bathroom.
Soon she felt a cool cloth being placed against her face. It felt good. “Thanks.”
A Colorado Family Page 18