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Behind Closed Doors m&f-1

Page 42

by Shannon McKenna


  An embarrassed cough sounded from the doorway of the room. The little moment of grace was over.

  Clayborne fidgeted in the doorway. “Excuse me, Ms. Lazar, but there's something I have to make you aware of,” he said nervously. Raine brushed the tears away from her eyes. “Can't it wait?”

  “Ah... it won't take long. Mr. Lazar had made very specific instructions as to how to dispose of his worldly remains after the cremation, but two days before the events that led to his death, he changed those instructions.”

  Raine and Alix looked at each other. Raine looked back at Clayborne. “Yes?” she prompted.

  “He requested that you make all the decisions.”

  Raine blinked at him. “Me?”

  Clayborne's shoulders lifted in a helpless shrug. “I'm afraid it's another one of the terms of the will”

  The boat rocked gently on the rippling water. She had asked Charlie to take her to the place she remembered seeing Peter's boat seventeen years before. Charlie was respectfully silent as she stared into the water, holding the white box of Victor's ashes in her lap. She was grateful that Victor's staff had taken it upon themselves to look out for her. All except for Mara, who had left immediately. Mara had been inconsolable at the news of Victor's death.

  Raine squeezed her eyes shut at the heavy, dull throb of pain in her chest. For some reason, her mind turned to Seth.

  He had made it clear that he could never trust her, and her kinship to Victor had sealed his judgment. He would never accept that she had loved Victor, too. But she wasn’t ashamed of loving Victor. If she'd learned anything in the past weeks, it was that there was enough to be ashamed of in the course of a messy human life without being ashamed of loving someone. However unwisely.

  She had two fathers now. Both flawed, both doomed, but each had given her priceless gifts. She looked into the cold depths that had taken Peter, and silently asked the water, with all its power to cleanse and renew, to accept her other fattier, too.

  The contents of the box were coarser than she had expected, like sand. She took a handful, and cast it on the water.

  It was all right. It was appropriate. Peter approved, the whole universe approved. She upended the box, and shook it until the plastic bag inside was empty. The ashes sank. Ripples surged and heaved. She set the box down and turned to Charlie. “Let's go home.”

  She kept her face to the wind as Charlie revved the motor. The boat leaped and bumped over the choppy water, jolting her sore chest and back, but the pain was a welcome distraction. It made it easier not to think about Seth. Easier to ignore the dark knot of pain in her chest.

  She would get through this, she told herself. She wasn't the one who had turned her back on love. She would eventually heal, but he would just fester. And that thought brought her no comfort at all.

  The wind was whipping tears into her eyes. She squeezed the tears out and wiped them resolutely away.

  “Company,” the laconic Charlie said.

  She stared at the boat that bobbed by the dock, the hairs rising on her neck. Chest swelling, breath shallow and blocked. Butterflies whirling and spinning. It could just be a similar boat. A neighbor. Someone selling fresh fish. She shouldn't get all wound up when she was sure to be dashed against the rocks again.

  It was Seth. A dark, motionless figure against the gnarled tree roots of the shore. His face looked thinner than she remembered. His grim, dark eyes sought hers across the water. They pulled at her, like a rope in the old spell she had dreamed up as a child. The spell that never worked. The spell to make love stay.

  Neither of them called out a greeting. Charlie tied up the boat. He gave Seth an unfriendly once-over and shot Raine a questioning glance.

  “It's all right, Charlie. Thank you,” she said.

  Charlie clumped away, shaking his head. "I see Victor's staff has adopted you,” Seth commented.

  She couldn't interpret his tone, so she braced herself for anything. 'They've taken good care of me,” she said. “It's been a tough week.”

  “Are you OK?”

  "I'll be OK. I'm still stiff, but it gets better every day.”

  “I don't mean just physically,”

  She tore her gaze away from his penetrating eyes. “How about you? Did your wound heal all right?”

  He frowned. “Don't change the subject”

  “Why not?” she asked. “There’s nothing more to say.”

  Seth dug his hands into his pockets. “Isn't there?”

  “You tell me, Seth.” She tried to copy his trick, the eyes that took in everything but reflected nothing.

  Then something happened that shocked her. He looked down, breaking eye contact. He shifted from foot to foot. He swallowed, visibly.

  He was nervous. She had made Seth Mackey nervous.

  “I think...” He scowled past her at the water. “There’s a lot to say. So much that, uh, it might take the rest of my life to say it all.”

  Raine wanted to scream with joy, but she kept her face composed, as if her whole heart wasn't hanging on what he said in the next few seconds. “You told me you didn't have a romantic, lyrical side.”

  Somehow, amazingly, her voice came out cool and steady.

  His eyes flicked up. “That was before I started hanging out with you.”

  “Oh,” she whispered.

  He smiled cautiously. “Hanging out with a pirate queen is bound to shock a guy's latent romantic creativity to life.”

  He stood there, looking expectant. Waiting for her to make the next move. He didn't dare to show his hand, any more than she did.

  Well. If that was the best he could do, he could suffer to the bitter end.

  “I have a proposition for you,” she said. “A business proposition.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Let's hear it.”

  “I want to hire your firm to do Lazar Import & Export's corporate security. But only part time.”

  “Part time?” He frowned.

  “That's to leave you free for your real job. Full-time love slave.”

  He blinked, and looked away with a muffled snort of laughter.

  “Kind of like the setup you suggested after Victor's party,” she continued. “Clueless muscle-bound stud brought to island hideaway to fulfill my every erotic whim. We never did explore all the possibilities of that scenario. We got distracted by the pirate queen and her insatiable appetites. And other things. Murder, revenge, betrayal and whatnot.”

  She waited to see if he would ignore the mockery in her tone—or echo it.

  “Interesting,” he said slowly.

  “I thought you might think so,” she said.

  “I have a counteroffer. I'll tell you the job description I really want.”

  Raine's throat tightened in frustration. If he was going to keep it on this level, it was up to her to force them to the next one. As always.

  Seth looked down at his feet. She saw his Adam's apple bob, once. Twice. He met her eyes, with the look of a man who was facing the firing squad. “Full-time lover,” he said hoarsely. “Father of your children. Companion in adventure, champion, guardian, protector, helpmeet, mate. Love of your life. Forever.”

  Her heart eyes stung and burned with tears. Her heart thudded against her sore ribs, and her throat shook. “Oh. But I'm afraid, urn, the love slave clause is non-negotiable,” she whispered.

  “Fine. I'll be your love slave, I'll be your white knight, I'll be your sailor stud, I'll be your frog prince, I'll be whatever the hell you want. Just tell me you still want me. Tell me quick, Raine. You're killing me.”

  She finally understood the trick of the eye spell. It had to be mutual to work. It pulled her like a rope, until she was wrapped around him, pressing her face against his chest. “God, yes, I want you. And I need you. I missed you so much,” she said.

  He stroked her back as if she were made of glass and buried his face against her hair. “Me, too,” he said roughly. “I'm sorry I made you wait. I was embarrassed. It was stupid. So, uh, abo
ut my offer. It's official, then? I can relax? Done deal?”

  She pulled her wet face away and stared searchingly into his eyes. “You're sure?”

  “I love you. Why wouldn't I be?”

  Her eyes flew to the place on the water where the white moth had drowned, where Victor's ashes had mingled with it. “Because of who I am. I’ll never turn my back on it. I'm a Lazar, Seth.”

  He took her face in his hands. “I love who you are,” he said, dropping soft, reverent kisses, on her cheek, her forehead, her jaw, her lips. “I want to celebrate it, and protect you and adore you. What you are is beautiful, Raine. There's no one else like you in the whole world.”

  The world softened and widened as she gazed into his eyes. The final glow of sunset rippled over the surface of the water. A golden eagle swooped over their heads. Then another, a mated pair. The muted whoosh, the shadow of their vast wingspans was a solemn benediction. Another moment of grace. Life had more of them than she had thought. They would spend the rest of their lives making those moments together, and rejoicing in them.

  Seth's eyes were full of love and cautious hope. There was a fine tremor in the big, strong hands that cupped her face so tenderly. “So? he asked. “Will you marry me?”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart bursting with a joy too big to contain. “In a heartbeat,” she whispered.

  FB2 document info

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  Document creation date: 25.8.2012

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  Document authors :

  Shannon McKenna

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