“You have to hurry” I looked at Max, urging him to connect with her.
He looked at Alzar and my guess was that he didn’t trust me enough to go on his own, but there isn’t time for that. “You have to go now, Max!” I yelled.
My power wasn’t going to be able to completely break the barrier without help and I wasn’t sure that Alzar was up for accepting a request from me. After everything that I had done I can’t say that I blame him at all. I would be the same way if I were in his position.
With each second that passed, the struggle to keep my power up cultivated. If I wasn’t able to break the spell, Laynie and Max would be trapped in there forever. I have no their choice, I have to ask him for help.
“Please, Alzar. I need your help. If my power fades before I complete this, they will both die. I can’t let that happen.”
He looked at me and I could tell that he was thinking his decision over, but we didn’t have much time left. The spell had already taken so much out of me that I could sense what was left of me flickering in and out. I closed my eyes not wanting to see his refusal of my request.
I forced my power on the barricade, grunting with exhaustion from it. Not much longer now, I thought to myself. I had been reduced to a shadow in the kitchen, my power lessening rapidly.
That’s when I felt it. Alzar had connected his power to me and, instantly, I felt fine. The struggle that I had been having had been eased by the flow of his power in my spirit. Strangely enough, I felt his hand grab mine and the amazement that he could touch me almost broke all my concentration.
“I had no other choice.” He said. I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or to Max.
Quickly, I glanced at Max. He was lying in the floor as if he were asleep. His body made a slight jerking movement and I knew that he had been able to reach her. If we could keep the spell going long enough for him to bring her back, that would be the last good thing that I would undertake.
CHAPTER 12 MAX
Shivers ran all over me as I passed the spot that had cause us so much trouble earlier. I had been having a hard time finding my way through to Laynie. Something had been holding me back, but it didn’t feel like it was being done on purpose. Having to rely on Aden’s power to get me where I needed to be made me more than uncomfortable. Who’s to say that he’s not setting us up for failure? It sure wouldn’t be the first time he had done something like that.
But for some reason I felt like I was looking for an excuse to hate him now, like what he had done to Jessie wasn’t enough. Since Sal had been dealt with, Aden seemed different to me, but all people are different in times such as these. I can’t help but feeling sorry for him. He had been lead down a road that made it impossible for him to turn back. I can only hope that he can find peace wherever it is that he’s going after this.
Being here this time was different. Laynie was quiet and seemed to me that she had been sleeping before I had arrived. That wasn’t the case now. As soon as she felt me she called my name. That had to be the sweetest sound that I had ever heard in my entire life. It made me dizzy and if I had not been floating through her, I would have had the feeling of floating inside myself from the love that I feel from her.
I hope that she decides to give life another shot. She has too. We need her. I need her.
“Max?”
I didn’t realize that I didn’t answer her the first time that she called to me and her tone had changed from happy to startled. “I’m here.”
She relaxed and it made it easier for me to get closer to her. Although, I knew she was turning against life, she had to want it back. But who would want to live like she had been living? Everyone that she had trusted had lied to her. I understand how she feels. She has been through so much and with little hope. It had been to the point that she was thinking that her very own mother wanted her dead. That would have been enough to make anyone want to give up in my book.
But I’m not going to let her give up that easy. I love her and she’s damn well going to know it.
“What are you doing? Why did you come back?” she asked me.
“I came back because there’s something that you have to know.”
“Like what?
I was afraid to speak because I knew that I was going to stammer and my words wouldn’t sound right, but this may be the only chance that I have to make her understand, to bring her back.
“I want you to listen to me okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll listen. Is something wrong?”
It shocked me that she had answered me that way. Of course something is wrong. She must have fell back into this sham of happiness that she thinks is real.
“I want you to come back, Laynie. We need you. I need you.”
Her words had only been a whisper, but they had hurt me more than they would have if she had screamed them at me. “I don’t want to come back.”
“You have to. The way that your life has been going is not the way that things are always going to be. You’ll be happy and we can be together.”
“I don’t think that’s going to be enough, Max.” She sighed.
“Why? Do you not love me?” I asked her, my heart crumbled into millions of pieces. The fear that she would answer that question hit me like nothing I had ever felt, making me wish that the words hadn’t come out of my mouth. I had set myself up to be disappointed in the worst way.
“Of course I love you. I can’t deny that, but it’s too hard to have to move forward anymore. I’m not as strong as you think, Max.”
She had always had a way about her that made me think that she was stronger than she let on, but what could I say to that? I could tell that she was only saying things that would push me away from her and I’m not going to let her succeed. The only thing that I could do was play along with her until she wasn’t guarding herself as much.
“I know that you think that, but you’re wrong. You’re the strongest person that I have ever met, with the exception of one more.” I said that to spark her interest and thankfully it worked.
“And who’s that exception?” she asked sarcastically.
“Your father.”
Mentioning her father may have not been the best thing to do, but fighting for her meant that I was going to have to come out swinging with everything that I had. Her father was a very touchy subject with her.
She didn’t say anything for a while and I left her in her silence, giving her time to think. As I sat there, I pondered ways to keep her questioning her decision. I was staring off into the distance, seeing nothing of importance, when she spoke to me again.
“How is he?” She sounded like she was more desperate for my answer than any other that I had ever given her. This is it, the way to get her to open up to me. I just have to plan out what I was going to say.
“Max?”
I acted like I hadn’t heard her question.
“How is my father?” She inquired for the second time. That pause between her questions had given me just enough time to figure out what to do. I couldn’t treat this situation like it was a war strategy. It would never work out if I do. I have to speak to her from my heart. I have to bear all to her, leaving nothing to the imagination. She needs to be able to see that she can still trust me and that I love her more than my own life.
“He’s a mess. How did you think he would be?”
“I don’t know. I guess I thought that he would be glad that I had gone away.”
“Laynie, you know better than to think that. He loves you. He always has.”
“I guess you’re right.” Her voice seemed tight and unmanageable, but I was not going to stop and give her time to reinforce her stubbornness. I needed her to feel the pain that I am feeling, the pain that her parents feel.
“Your mother doesn’t know that anything is wrong with you.” That would be the bargaining piece that would set everything into motion.
“What do you mean?” Her confusion had become greater than her pigheadedness now. That means that I am
touching the right buttons.
“Your father sent her, Alice, and Caleb into town to stay in a hotel. He had told her that he wanted the three of us to spend some time together. I think that he told her that you wanted to work on spell casting.”
“Yeah, that sure would have been handy to know a little earlier.” She laughed. It was like her spirit had lifted slightly and I could see hope.
“True.” I grinned. “I love you.”
The words just came out of me and my emotions had taken a drastic turn. Tears welled in my eyes, threatening to spill over my lids. My plan to ease her into this wasn’t going to work. My heart was going to go at this full force and I couldn’t stop it from happening.
“Laynie, please.” I begged her. “I’ll do anything that you want me to do. Just come back to me.” My face was damp from the tears and I tried to wipe them away, but the more I swiped, the more tears fell.
“Just leave me here.” She sniffled.
I hadn’t noticed that she was crying. My own desperation had clouded my senses. Hearing her say that she wanted me to leave her like this broke something in me. It was more than my heart. The pain was unimaginable and it felt like my soul was shattering.
“I won’t leave you here!” My voice came out all wrong. I was yelling at her and I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. She was giving up on everything, on me. “How could you ask me to do that?”
“It’s the right thing to do.” Her words were calm and loving. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs in frustration, but that was only going to make matters worse.
“No, it’s not and if you are going to stay, I am too!” My tenacious side had begun to show. If she was going to be this way then so am I.
“Max, don’t be like this” she pleaded with me. The tables had turned and now she was the one that was begging. But I had made up my mind and that was all there is to it. I wasn’t going to leave here without her coming with me. “I’m not going to leave you here alone, so the only other option that I can see is that I stay.”
“Have it your way” she sneered at me. Her coldness worried me, but I refused to read into it more than I should. It wasn’t like it was going to make a difference anyway.
She wouldn’t possibly hurt me, but I’m sure that she could make my stay here as miserable as possible. This is here world and she is in full control of everything. If she wills it, anything is possible.
Hours passed before we spoke to each other again. When we did, it was only a few words at a time. The emptiness that I felt consumed the air around me and I wasn’t sure that this was the right thing for me to do.
We were behaving like school children and Alzar would call this a pissing match for sure, but the only thing is who’s going to win? Odds are she is. I don’t know how long I can keep this up. I love her, but neither of us deserves this.
The pressure that I have been under finally got to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore. I cried like I would have when I was a little boy. She was killing me on the inside and I would rather die than to be without her, but she can’t see that. All she can see is her own fear and I hated it. It tore me up and all I wanted to do was…die.
Apparently, that was the same thing that she wanted for herself. Her mind had shut down to reality and I wasn’t sure that she was ever going to be able to give up all her inhibitions.
I feel so lost.
“I don’t know why you think this is the way that things need to be. I love you! Can’t you see that?”
Her life would be so different than it had been in the past. She doesn’t understand the power that she holds inside her. Anything that she could dream of would be hers and she wouldn’t have to worry about being afraid anymore. Plus, she would have her family back. We could get married and start a family of our own.
I could picture our life in my mind. There were children, all running through the house laughing and playing without a single care in their minds. Laynie was standing in the kitchen baking their favorite cookies as she hummed a song that sounds as sweet as honey. It was all there, playing out like it should, magic in the making. That is how our lives are supposed to be, not like this.
Clearing my mind and wiping the tears from my eyes, I decided that this was the time to get hard. I had to be tough. I have to show her what she’s going to be giving up.
“Laynie?” I called her name softly.
She didn’t answer, but I knew that she was listening. With that, I called on my power one last time. The spell that I cast on her opened her mind and allowed me to connect with her. My plan was to show her everything that I had seen in my mind, all the precious moments that we were going to have together.
The shock of the connection caused her to stir, proving that the spell was working. She gasped. Every image that I had seen, I placed in her mind. I could feel her heart swelling with love.
I had wanted her to see what was really in store for her, for us, but the amount of power that I had to use, drained me. The connection was getting weaker between us and I knew that if I didn’t stop, I was going to be reconnected with my body. I didn’t want to do that just yet, so I stopped letting her see the beautiful images in her mind.
“Wait!” She begged me to show her more, but I didn’t have enough strength left in me to do it for her.
“I can’t.”
“Why not? You can do anything you want to, can’t you?” She had begun to cry again and the sight of it made me feel wretched inside. I was purposely causing her more pain, but I don’t know what else to do.
“Since you want to stay here, the things that I showed you won’t happen. You’ll wait around here, thinking that everything is going to be okay for you, but it won’t be. Soon, you’ll get lonely and want to come back and you won’t know how to do it. Or you just might wait around until your body dies, who knows?” That was the truth and she needed to hear it.
I’m sure that she understood why I had told her about her body dying. I mean, she a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. Her body can’t survive without her souls. It’s just not possible. Not to mention the lack of nourishment. She has to eat or she will die, and soon.
“But I wanted to see what happens. Can’t you just show me the rest?” She asked me and I wanted to so badly, but I refused.
“No. If you want to see what happens, you are going to have to come back and see for yourself. As for now, I told you that I was going to stay here with you, but I’ve changed my mind.” I forced myself to say the words.
“What do you mean?”
I didn’t take time to think my decision over because I knew that if I thought about it, I would stay right here with her and we would both end up dead.
“If being alone is what you want, then I love you enough to give it to you, but do not expect me to just let you die because I won’t.” I said to her as I began my chant to return to my body. “I’m leaving…now.”
As I started feeling myself floating through her soul, she started to say something. My focus wasn’t on her. It was on my spell, so I wasn’t able to hear what she had said. But the feeling of it was unmistakable. She didn’t want me to leave and, in my mind, this was the only way that she was going to come back to me. I had to do it.
My body and soul reconnected and I felt like all the life had been drained out of me, leaving me feeling like gelatin. It reminded me of having the flu. I was weak and really didn’t care for anything. The exhaustion made it hard for me to open my eyes and the only thing that my body wanted was sleep, but there is no time for that. I have work to do.
When I finally opened my eyes, Alzar was on his knees on the floor beside me. I moved my arm to try to attempt getting up, but as soon as I did, I felt Laynie’s arm. Her skin wasn’t as cold as it had been right before I set out on my journey to her. That was a good sign.
The strange thing was that I had been in the kitchen when I connected with her, but, somehow, I had been moved to her room and put in the bed beside her. The comfort that
I felt for her body to be near me gave me enough strength to motivate myself to do what had to be done.
Alzar helped me to the side of the bed and my head started spinning. It wasn’t a bad feeling. It was just weird. I had used so much power that it had taken effect on my body.
“Is she coming back?” he questioned me. The hope in his eyes made it even harder for me to explain what had happened while I was with her. In his state of mind anything that I will say to him would either break him or lift him. It was my choice to make, but I couldn’t imagine myself not being completely honest with him. He deserves that much.
I opened my mouth to begin telling him what had happened, but I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a shadowy kind of fog, but it made no sense to me that it was in the room with us. I jumped up, startled and ready to defend us at a moment’s notice.
Alzar placed his hand on my shoulder and it was odd because it was like he was trying to stop me from advancing on the figure. I looked at him and he shook his head disapprovingly at me. What in the world is going on, I asked myself silently.
I heard a voice come from the darkness of the thing. It was Aden and I couldn’t believe that he was still here. Alzar should have taken care of him as soon as I crossed the barrier that was keeping us from Laynie, but he hadn’t and I was becoming angry at him without knowing what was going on.
I turned to look at him and he had that look on his face that I hadn’t seen in such a long time. It was a mixture of guilt and surprise and that told me that he had done something that he thought I wasn’t going to approve of him taking part in.
Before I could start questioning him, he spoke to me tenderly, “I didn’t have a choice. I had to help him.”
His response confused me and I’m sure that the look that I was giving him wasn’t the one that he expected because he exhaled loudly. “What are you talking about? I don’t understand what you mean. You had to help him?”
Redemption (Waking Up Dead) Page 10