by Lady J
“Where the hell have you been at all day?” Moe rolled her neck and smacked her lips.
Moe had a stern stare as she sat on Carmen’s sofa with her feet propped up when Meek strolled in. She took her feet down from the coffee table and sat up straight on the sofa. Meek placed the bag of food on the table then bent over to kiss her forehead. Moenisha jerked her head away, not giving him the chance. He set the food in the middle of the table, then sat down next to her.
“You hungry?” he asked.
“Hell no, I ain’t hungry. Don’t bring your ass in here trying to butter me up. Where in the hell have you been, Meek?” Moe spat, not giving a damn about the food on the table. She wanted to know one thing, and that was where her husband had been all morning.
“Nowhere, Moe. Just needed a little time to clear my mind, that’s all. Had to get away for a minute,” he replied.
Meek sat up, grabbed the bag of food from the table, and began to separate the plates. He handed one to Moe, placed one in his lap, then sat Carmen’s plate back on the table.
“Let me get you something to drink.” He hopped up and headed for the kitchen. When he returned to the living room, Moe was shoving food into her mouth like it was her last meal. “Thought you wasn’t hungry.” He laughed and took his seat.
“Shut up,” she huffed with a mouthful of food. “I still want to know where you’ve been.”
“I know y’all ain’t in here eating and didn’t tell me,” Carmen floated into the room with Trent right behind her. They both seemed happy as hell for a couple who was just at each other’s throats the day before. “Where mine at?” she asked and Meek pointed to the bag on the table.
“Well, well, well. Look who’s all in love again,” Moe teased.
“Whatever, hand me the hot sauce.” Carmen waved her off and reached for the hot sauce bottle.
“Fam, how long you stay on the block? I know yo ass was booming ’cause you was the only nigga out there. I know them fiends was coming back to back. I told you that shit hitting hard, my nigga. I got another brick of that same shit at the crib.”
Meek waved his hand in the air and shook his head, trying to signal Trent to stop his overflowing mouth, but he had already said too much. He wasn’t even paying Meek any attention as he grubbed on the food off Carmen’s plate.
Moe stared at Trent with squinted eyes. She then raised one finger in the air, paused, then pointed at Meek. “So, that’s where your ass been? On the block?” she yelled. “Meek, are you crazy? Do you want to catch another charge?”
Moe was angry that he had come right in and lied to her face about where he was all morning. She had never been so heated with him than at that very moment. Meek cocked his head to the side and twisted up his face at Trent, who finally looked at him when Moe started popping off. Trent shrugged then cracked a smile.
“Baby,” Meek began.
“Don’t baby me. You lied, Meek. You just straight up lied to me.” She felt hurt that the man she’d married just twenty-four hours ago was holding things back from her already. “Why didn’t you tell me? I had to sit here and find out through ole big mouth over there.” She cut her eyes at Trent.
“You’re welcome,” Trent chimed in, being his normal annoying self.
“Really, nigga?” Meek said to Trent. “Moe, I didn’t tell you because I knew you was going to overreact. I know what I’m facing out here, and soon I’ll be going away. Hell, I ain’t got shit else to lose. I got to put my lil brother in the ground tomorrow, Moe, and on top of all that, I gotta worry about how you gone survive when I go away. I’m doing this shit for you.”
“I can go and get my own money, Meek. You didn’t even want me on the block, but you out there?” She was pissed.
“Cause if anything happens, I rather it be me than you,” Meek said.
“Aww, ain’t that just the sweetest thing,” Trent butted in.
“Mind your damn business, Trent!” Moe spat.
Ten
The morning had started off slow as Meek dragged himself out of the full size bed. He had barely gotten any sleep the night before, and was about to do something he never thought he would have to do. He went to the bathroom to relieve himself then stood there staring at the man in the mirror as he washed his hands in the sink. It was like he had turned into another person; he didn’t feel quite like himself. His dreads where nappy and needed to be re-twisted, and his eyes seemed just as cold as his heart had turned.
He washed his face and brushed his teeth before exiting the bathroom. Meek grabbed a ponytail holder from Kira’s beret box and pulled his long dreads back. Today was the day, and he wasn’t nowhere near in his right mind. He kept thinking of his brother; seeing his face every time he closed his eyes. He even heard his voice telling him to keep pushing.
Meek sat down on the edge of the bed then it all hit him like a ton of bricks. “He’s really gone,” he squalled as his body slumped to the floor.
Moe heard him and jumped up from the bed. She got on her knees and tried to comfort him. It was no use. He cried until he had let it all out. After Moe helped him up from the floor, he threw his weak body across the bed and folded his arms underneath his head. He didn’t know how he was going to make it through the day, but somehow he had to get it together.
Moe whispered the words, “I love you,” into his ear, placed a soft kiss on his wet cheek, and left him alone.
He lay there, not wanting to get up or do anything. As much as he tried, he couldn’t shake the horror of knowing this would be the very last time he’d ever get to see Nino. He suddenly felt the need to get high, thinking it would numb his pain. He searched around in the MCM backpack, trying to find his bag of weed.
“Moe!” he yelled
“Yeah, baby?” she answered from Carmen’s room.
“You seen the bud I had in my backpack?” he asked once he couldn’t locate his bag of pot.
He dug deeper and pulled out a few grams a dope he had stuffed deep down inside. Looking at the white powdery substance in the clear bags, he thought about how high he had gotten off doing just one line of coke the day before he went off to rehab. Meek untied one of the bags and opened it. Just when he was about to put it to his nose, Moe came in the room with the bag of pot dangling from her hands. Meek quickly put the dope back into his backpack and slid the strap over his shoulders.
“Here, I wanted to smoke one,” she said, handing over his weed.
“No, you good. Smoke, baby.” Meek refused the bag and brushed past her with his backpack on his back.
He figured the coke would numb him better than the weed would, but he couldn’t sneak shit past Moenisha. He didn’t want to hide anything from her, but knowing Moe, she’d just flip out and wouldn’t understand. Trying to be strong and keep a level head all at the same time was hard to do when he was so consumed with constant thoughts of revenge, along with everything else. Meek had just about had enough. He’d never had so much bad karma in his life. This was truly a test he wasn’t prepared to fail.
Meek hopped into his truck and drove around to the back side of Carmen’s apartment building. He backed into a parking space then rolled up all four windows. The limo tint on the windows was dark and shielded him from the burning Miami sun. Meek turned on his radio and popped in his favorite CD. He then snatched up his backpack and located his bag of coke. He looked around to make sure Moe nor Carmen were anywhere around the back side of the building before he dipped his pinky finger into the bag.
Placing his finger underneath his nose, he snorted the coke. Meek shook his head from side to side as the powerful white powder made its way through his system. He sat there for just a second, trying to let it kick in and take effect, but before he knew it, he was shoving more up his nose. He wanted to be so zooted that he couldn’t feel a thing.
An hour later, Meek snapped his head back as the sound of his cell phone scared the hell out of him. Lost, he looked around, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. Then he rememb
ered he had stuffed his phone into the MCM bag. He fished it out and answered his wife’s call.
“Where you at? We’re just about ready,” she said.
“I’m about to pull up now,” he replied.
He hit the end key on his phone, started up his truck and pulled back around to the front of the building. Meek could barely keep his balance as he jumped out of the truck. Looking like a drunken wino trying to pass a field sobriety test, he made it up the stairs to Carmen’s front door just as he began to feel like he might faint from being too high. He tried to straighten himself up before going inside by pulling up his baggy jeans and rubbing his tight eyes. He slid the door open and ran right into Moe. Damn, she gon’ know I’m high, he thought to himself before saying anything to her.
“Hurry up, baby, you should’ve been dressed. We’re going to be late.” Moe rushed Meek into the bathroom and turned on the shower for him. “I already got your suit laid out on the bed,” she said and handed him a wash cloth, towel, boxer shorts, and a wife beater before leaving the bathroom.
Moe was in such a hurry to go curl her hair, she didn’t even notice his low yellow eyes nor the stoned look on his face. Meek hurried in and out of the shower. He could barely hold himself up while trying to dry his wet body. It was like he was moving in slow motion as he took his time put on his boxers and wife beater.
After a while of waiting for him, Moenisha returned and knocked on the bathroom door. “Meek, will you come on?” She rushed him, knowing it was going to take them about thirty minutes to travel to the other side of town to get to Meek’s mother’s house. Then another thirty to leave and make it to the church in time. “Oh, and your mother called. She said don’t forget to bring what she asked you. Whatever that is,” she finished then walked away.
On the other side of the bathroom door, Meek stood there with a crazed expression on his face, trying to figure out just what the hell did his Mother tell him to bring. He was way too high to remember. He finally gathered up his clothes from the floor, swung the door open, peeped out, and then ran full speed down the hallway to Kira’s room.
Startled by him slamming the door behind him, Moe jumped when he entered the room. “Boy, what you running like that for?” she asked.
“You want Carmen seeing all this?” He rubbed his hands down his chest and stopped at the knot in his boxers. He was making a silly face with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Meek didn’t even realize he was acting so crazy and was about to get himself busted. “Baby, bae, my boo thanggg,” he said then began to laugh.
Moe got up from where she was sitting and eased her way over to him.
“You know you take care of me. I don’t know what I would do without you,” he said in an unusually loud tone of voice.
She walked up on him while his back was turned as he was looking over the suit on the bed. It was similar to the one he had picked out for his brother. “That red popping, ain’t it, baby?” He jumped when Moe touched his back. She swooped around in front of him and peered into his eyes. Meek turned his head away and tried to throw her off. “So, you wearing that? What time is it?” he rambled.
“You high.” she said. “But the bud is on the dresser, so what you high off of, Meek?” She held a mug so mean on her face with her hands on her hips and half of her hair curled.
“I had one in the car already rolled, Moe,” he lied again then brushed past her and began to get dressed.
He tried to ignore her staring at him from two feet away, but she didn’t move and her facial expression never changed. She just knew something was up with him.
“Meek, let find out you doing something else. I love you, but I’m not going to be married to no damn powder head.”
She flipped her hair over her shoulders and switched her way back over to her spot in front of the mirror. She could tell Meek was high out of his mind, but she didn’t want to just accuse him of anything she wasn’t sure of. Moe doubted that he would be high off coke, but he didn’t smell like weed when he came in like he would have if he had been smoking it. Meek didn’t reply to her last statement, but she watched him from the mirror as he put on his clothes, wondering if he was lying to her again. The only other time she’d witnessed him acting this way was the one time she knew he had coke in his system.
When Meek was all dressed, he walked up behind Moe, looked at himself in the full length mirror, and adjusted his neck tie. “How do I look?” he asked.
“Not bad for your first time wearing a suit,” she teased him and he looked at her sideways. “I just kidding, baby. You look really nice.” She got up and swung her arms around his neck. “Meek, you do know that you can tell me anything. I mean anything. I might not understand it firsthand, but I’ll try my best. I just don’t want to feel like you’re hiding anything from me.” She looked like she was about to cry at any moment.
“I know that, Moe. And believe me, if there was something I wanted to tell you, I will. You ain’t got nothing to worry about.” He kissed her softly on her forehead. “All I’m out here doing is getting this money to take care of you,” he said. Meek took her by the hand and led her over to the bed. He lifted his hands and brushed the loose strands of hair away from her face. He stared into her eyes, then nothing but the truth came tumbling out of his mouth. “I know I shouldn’t have, but baby, I only done a little bit. You know, just enough to numb the pain. I promise you, baby, I ain’t doing that shit no more,” he admitted.
Moe snatched her hand away from Meek, turned her back on him, then began to cry. As much as he wanted to say more, he didn’t. He slowly got up from the bed and left her sitting there with her thoughts.
On his way out the front door, he stopped Carmen and said, “Make sure she’s okay. I gotta get to my mom’s crib before the family car arrives. I’ll see y’all at the church.”
Eleven
The church was crowded with people. Some of everybody was there to see Nino be put away. From his mother’s Christian friends to the young goons of the street. He was loved in the hood by many, and it showed as the packed church stood upon the entry of the family as they walked down the aisle.
As Meek nervously escorted his Mother up to his brother’s casket, his palms were sweaty and his legs started to feel as if they were going to stop working. He kept his eyes straight ahead, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. He felt like he was being watched by everyone in the church, which he was. Meek held his mother close to him as they stood in front of the casket paying their last respect to their loved one. It broke Meek’s heart when his mother reached out and gently rubbed Nino’s face.
“My baby boy,” she mumbled through the painful tears she cried. “Mama gone always love you, baby.” She nearly broke down on her way to her seat on the front pew.
Meek sat right beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. His mother laid her head down on his shoulder and just blankly stared at her youngest son laying before her. She was dazed and in another world. She hadn’t been the same since Meek had delivered the bad news. Looking at him, she wondered where did she go wrong? How did her baby boy end up there? She was the best mother to her children growing up, and for the life of her, she didn’t know how her sons had turned to the streets.
As a single mother, raising two boys and trying to teach them how to stand on their own and become men was challenging. She worked her ass off to provide them with the things their little hearts desired. When Meek started bringing money into the house, she’d never once questioned where he was getting the money from. And when they surprised her with a new house, the two said they had started a lawn care service and it was doing well. She believed them and they moved their mother out of the projects. Though she still worked, they would pay all of her bills and allow her to spend her money on herself. She felt privileged to have such amazing sons who loved and cared for her so much that they took care of her.
She cried softly to herself until the very last family member took their seat and Nino’s casket was closed. S
he then shouted out his name and screamed so loud the stained glass windows of the church nearly shattered. The hurt and pain was evident in her dreadful screams.
“It’s gon’ be okay, Mama.” Meek tried to comfort her. He held her closely as he rocked back and forth.
“Why my baby? Why my son?” she shouted.
Meek looked up at the ceiling of the church as the tears streamed down his face. Suddenly, he felt a light touch on his back as someone placed their hand on him. He looked to his left and Moenisha had slid onto the pew next to him. She held out the box of Kleenex tissues for him and his mother. Looking at her made the tears fall more. After all the bullshit, she was still standing by him. Though he was hurting, his heart smiled on the inside just knowing he had her.
Moe moved in closer and wiped his tears away. She placed her hands on his thigh and smiled sweetly. “I’m right here,” she whispered.
Meek felt so much better. Now he had to get his mother under control. After the ceremony was over, they stood and left the church. At the graveyard, Meek and Moe stood side by side as they watched Nino’s casket being lowered into the ground. Meek’s hand shook as he held onto Moenisha’s hand tightly. He needed her so much at that moment, but by the look on her face, he knew he was in trouble.
One of the hardest things he’d ever had to do was look in her eyes and lie to her face, but at that time, he felt it was the right thing to do. He was wrong and he knew it. But would she forgive him so easily this time? Could their love be strong enough to survive this?
When he took his mother home, he walked her inside then kissed her goodbye. His mother hugged him tightly, not wanting the only person she had left in her life to walk out and leave her. Meek fought the feeling to shed more tears as she begged him to stay just a little while longer. She just didn’t want to be alone.