by Sable Hunter
Mostly, he’d been thinking about Tamara. Knowing the route she usually took, he decided to drive by and offer her a ride if he could spot her walking from the bus stop. Since learning she no longer drove, he’d been uneasy about her walking through town at dusk.
When he rounded the last curve, the sight that met his eyes made Jaxson see red. Tamara was struggling with a man. When he drew closer, he saw the man was Royce Sykes. He had his hands all over her and was in the process of trying to force Tamara into his car.
Whipping over, Jaxson slammed on the brakes and jumped out.
“No! Please, no! Help!” Tamara cried, fighting off Royce with all her might. She was so scared. She didn’t know what to do. When he grabbed her by the hair, she’d never felt so helpless. What would happen to her?
Unwilling to give up, she continued to fight, praying that someone would help her.
Out of nowhere, her prayer was answered. To Tamara’s amazed relief, someone pulled Royce off her and decked him. One good blow and the man who’d been tormenting her was out like a light. When she blinked the tears from her eyes, Tamara saw her hero – was Jaxson.
“Oh, Jaxson!” She threw herself into his arms, sobbing into his chest. “I…didn’t know…what to do!”
“I’ve got you, love. I’ve got you.” He helped her to the truck and made sure she was okay, straightening the skirt of her dress, wanting her to feel safe and protected. Next, he called the sheriff and reported that there was some garbage alongside the road that needed to be picked up and hauled off.
Once he was behind the wheel, he gave her a handkerchief and some water. “Are you okay? Do you need to go to the doctor?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m…fine. Going to lose…my job, but – I’m fine.”
“There are other jobs, love. I’ll help you.” For one thing, he intended to talk to Royce’s father, then he intended to put the fear of God into the man who dared put his hands on an innocent woman.
“Do you feel like going to the meeting?” he asked, hoping she’d say yes.
She nodded. “Don’t want…to go home. Yet.”
“Good. I want you where I can see you.”
When they arrived at Seton, Jaxson walked her in, being very protective. He kept his arm around her, holding Tamara close the whole time. After the run-in with Royce, this closeness with Jaxson confused her even more. She wasn’t sure how to handle how she felt, old feelings that she thought were under control were being dredged to the surface.
Jaxson was the same man she’d loved for so long. Despite his devastating injury, he was as strong and sure of himself as ever. When he’d saved her from Royce, there’d been no hesitation, no awkward movements. His every move was fluid and sure. His grace and self-confidence stood in direct contrast to what she’d become.
After finding Tamara a seat close to the front, he made sure Myra came to sit with her. “I don’t want you to be alone. Okay?”
She said yes, and the meeting began.
When the time came for the groups to break off into separate meeting rooms, Jaxson made sure Tamara’s group stayed in the main area. He paid a brief visit to the others and took a moment to call the sheriff’s department to make sure Sykes was off the streets. When he learned the idiot would be spending the night in jail, he felt better. After getting a cup of coffee, he returned to sit in on the lecture she was attending. As he listened, Jaxson was fascinated by what he heard. There were mental exercises and games, designed to strengthen what Dr. Bell called the ‘muscle of the brain’.
“The brain is not a muscle, but it behaves like one. With proper procedure, the brain can be trained to improve different cognitive functions.” The doctor went on to explain that, in some cases, the impact of aphasia could be lessened. The specialist passed out a list of websites where these types of activities were detailed and Jaxson made up his mind that he was going to do whatever he could to make sure Tamara took advantage of this information.
Once the meeting was over, he was talking to some of the attendees about their experiences but broke away when he saw Tamara taking her leave. “Wait up! I’ll take you home.”
Tamara held a folder full of the information she’d received from Dr. Bell. She felt hopeful and couldn’t wait to delve into possibilities. “You’re…busy. I’m fine – with taking the bus.”
“Maybe, but I’m not fine with it.”
“Okay.” She wanted to stomp her foot in frustration, but seeing how adamant he was, Tamara agreed. She wasn’t willing to make a scene in front of Myra and Owen.
After walking her to the truck, he helped her in, making sure she was comfortable. “So, what do you think of Dr. Bell’s suggestions?”
She held up the folder. “I’m going…to try. Can’t wait.”
“Good. I was encouraged by what I heard too.”
After a few moments, Tamara noticed they weren’t going in the right direction for her house. “Where…are we going?”
“I’m hungry. Aren’t you?”
The sun had set a couple of hours before, but his face was illuminated by lights from oncoming traffic. There was something about his eyes, a familiar fire she’d seen before.
“I guess.”
“Good. I’m not ready for the evening to end.”
She didn’t know what to say. They drove out of Burnet toward Lake Buchanan and Tamara realized they were approaching the turnoff to Jaxson’s ranch. “I don’t think I’m up to…family.” She dreaded the day she had to face Pepper and Ryder. Tamara didn’t know if they knew what she’d gone through or not.
“Don’t worry. We aren’t going to the house. I’m taking you to the restaurant at Eagle Canyon. The Overlook? Remember?” He reached over and took her hand. “I don’t intend on sharing you with anyone else tonight.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
He didn’t intend on sharing her with anyone else tonight?
Tamara clasped her hands together when she realized they were going to the restaurant she’d mentioned so long ago. Since then, she’d learned his family owned it. The information made her feel a little stupid – but then, most everything did these days. She’d only seen pictures of Eagle Canyon, but remembered it was breathtaking. A feeling of unease came over her. Sometimes she forgot Jaxson was a member of the rich McCoy family.
When they arrived, the strategically placed lights illuminated everything to perfection. The giant oaks. The rustic bungalows. The beautiful expanse of Lake Buchanan itself. During her days of competing and endorsing, she’d traveled to many exotic and impressive destinations and this rivaled any of those.
Once they relinquished his truck to a valet, Jaxson escorted her into the unique, octagonal shaped restaurant. The Overlook. The wall of glass overlooking the lake displayed a grandeur she could never tire of admiring. After being greeted by the staff who knew Jaxson was one of the owners, they were taken to a private table overlooking the water. He pulled out her chair and a waitress handed her a menu. When she opened it, all the words started running together. “Oh, no.” She closed the folder quickly.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you see anything you like?”
Hanging her head, she confessed slowly, trying to keep the stuttering and stammering to a minimum. “Sometimes…I read. Okay. Other days – the letters…jump around.” She handed him the menu. “Would you? Order for me? Salad will do.”
“Of course, I will,” he said gently. Bending near her, he made a confession of his own. “I never told you this before, I was embarrassed. I have dysgraphia.”
“What?”
He placed a hand at the nape of her neck, soothing the tense muscle he found there. “You may have trouble reading, but I have trouble writing.” He went on to explain his struggle, giving her a quick overview of the disorder. “Where I grew up, in rural Louisiana, they weren’t equipped to deal with learning disabilities. I had a terrible time in school. I couldn’t admit it for years, but this molded the way I saw myself. I’ve never felt as good as my b
rothers.”
“No, Jaxson,” she placed a hand on his arm, alarmed at his words. “No.”
“It’s true. I know they didn’t mean to do it, but my family, especially my father, focused on my size and my strength. They did it to make me feel equal. Unfortunately, the reverse was true. Even with you, I would hide my problem. Using a computer saved me, I can type like nobody’s business.” He shook his head. “It’s some sort of spatial problem, my brain can’t assimilate the letters in words for some reason.” Looking into her eyes, he took Tamara’s hand. “See, we’re quite a pair. I guess we’ll have to find a better way to communicate…” He rubbed her skin softly. “How about touch?”
When Tamara blushed, he chuckled, realizing he’d have to go slow with her. Take his time. Jaxson didn’t mind, he looked forward to it. Seducing her for the second time would be pure pleasure.
After placing their order for a tender steak and all the trimmings, he leaned close again and they began to talk. “I need to tell you something,” he began. “I’m sorry for how I treated you. I was wrong.”
“What do you mean?” Her heart was beating against her breast like a bird in a cage.
“When I lost my leg, I was scared. I said some terrible, untrue, things to you. I hurt you to protect myself…and to protect you.”
Confused, she tried to understand. “Protect yourself?”
“This handicap, coupled with the dysgraphia was more than I could deal with. I was broken. I felt like half a man. I thought you’d stay with me out of pity or you’d wake up one day and figure out you were with a cripple. I couldn’t stand it. I rejected you before you could reject me.”
“You were. Wrong,” she began, wanting to tell him that she would’ve never rejected him. She loved him then, and she loved him now. But telling Jaxson all of that at this point was futile. Rehashing the past would do neither of them any good. No matter the reasoning, those days were long gone. “I’m glad…you’re okay.”
“Will you forgive me?” he asked.
“Of course. No question,” she told him gently.
As they waited on their food, they began to talk about what happened to them after they parted. “I felt sorry for myself a long time, Tammy,” Jaxson said. “I’m not proud of it. I put my family through hell. I didn’t want to live.” He kept his hand on hers, needing the connection. “I even played Russian Roulette, hoping to get lucky.”
Tears flowed down Tamara’s cheek. “If I’d known...I would have come back. Stood guard for you.”
Jaxson shook his head. “I wouldn’t have let you. I would’ve been a dick. Believe me, I never stopped wanting you. I just didn’t believe I was worth the trouble.”
She knew the feeling. “You’re good now.”
“Yea, I’m better. I wasn’t brave enough to end my life, so I had to do something besides wallow in pity.”
“You were…brave. To live.”
He shrugged. “Not sure that’s the way I would put it. My family stood by me. They didn’t give up. And the people at Seton were amazing. They worked with me to find the right prosthetic and how to use it. Scott really made the difference, however. The group saved me.”
“You do. Good work.” Tamara felt so inadequate. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but her intricate thoughts wouldn’t translate into words.
“Where did you go after I pushed you away?”
“Colorado.”
“You were in Colorado when I had the accident,” he recalled.
“Yes. The sponsors, Storm and Mad, became friends. Sister Clare too.”
“Storm and Mad, huh?” Jaxson felt something very akin to jealousy creep into his gut. “Should I be worried?”
Worried? Tamara frowned. “No. They were good. I made a home there. Trained.” She didn’t know exactly what he meant by being worried, but she wouldn’t volunteer how Storm had feelings for her before they became fast friends. “After my…accident, they helped me.”
“I wish I’d known. I would’ve come to you.”
Tamara blushed, reliving the fear that he would find out. The arrival of their food prevented her from having to respond.
“Well, I’m glad you came home,” he told her as he placed a roll on her plate.
“Career over. Had to.”
“Your parents wouldn’t tell me anything when I asked about you.”
“No.” She picked at her food, the conversation making her feel uneasy. “I hid.”
Jaxson nodded, understanding. “I can relate.”
“Had to move on. Plans all changed.” She rubbed her thumb over the condensation on her glass. “Not what…I used to be.”
“I changed too.”
“You changed. For better. The group is worth…while.”
“I hope so.”
“Hope I can do some-thing good some-where.”
“Of course, you will. Tamara, the people who care about you are very grateful to have you around.”
Tamara felt like there was more to his thought. The people who cared about her were grateful to have her around – even if she was more of a burden than a blessing.
As they finished their meal, Jaxson could tell by Tamara’s comments that she was in a constant struggle with whether her brain injury meant she could still contribute to other people’s lives. He knew the feeling very well. What courage it must’ve taken for her to pick up the broken pieces of her life and begin to build a new one.
Changing the subject, he caught her up on his family. “We were laughing at dinner the other night about needing a bigger dining table. Everybody’s married but me and Philip. You’ll have to meet Ryder’s two husbands and that long-haired hippie singer Pepper married.”
“Glad everybody is happy.”
When the waiter came to offer dessert, Tamara declined.
“How about a walk instead?” he offered.
“Yes, please.”
What they discussed over dinner was weighing heavily on her mind, but the beauty she found as they strolled on the edge of the lake allowed those thoughts to take wing. “It’s beautiful here.”
“Yes, it is.” He glanced at her, thinking she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. “I’m so glad you’re here. You’ll never know how much I missed you. How many times I thought about you.” They stopped at a high point overlooking the water, finding a seat on a stone wall built around a firepit. He took her hand, pressing it to his chest. “Feel my heart beating? I’m nervous.”
“Jaxson…” She tried to pull her hand away, but he held it tight.
“You coming back to me just feels right.”
Tamara nodded. “Yes.” This was the problem. It felt too right. She stood up and walked a few feet away.
Jaxson followed her and put his arm around her shoulders, gently leading her down a path. When they came to a quaint cabin with a dogtrot hall, he pulled her through to find a broad porch overlooking the lake. “This is the cabin my family uses when we visit.” Leaning on the railing, they gazed at the moonlit waters. “There’s an eagle’s nest not far from here.”
“So peaceful.” She wished she could say more, tell him how she was feeling.
“Did you miss me?”
Tamara felt her heart constrict with pain. “Of course. Never wanted to leave.”
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. So sorry.” He came closer, keeping her back to the railing, his arms on either side of her. “You’re here now. We can make up for lost time.”
Jaxson was amazed at his courage. He’d dreaded making himself vulnerable for so long. Now, he was willing to take the risk.
“Kiss me. I need you so much.”
Even as the last word faded, his mouth found hers. She placed a hand on his chest to protest, but the heaven of his kiss soon made that same hand creep up around his neck. Jaxson was more than gratified when she kissed him back, pushing against him, kissing him with her whole body.
All of her emotions, all of her yearning crystalized into a need so powerful that Tamara trembl
ed with desire. This was so perfect. Just like the first and every time they’d kissed. Shaking in his arms, she gave him everything she had to give.
In mere seconds, Jaxson was shaking with the same need. It had been so long. He was dying to be inside her.
Tamara tried to think. This wasn’t wise. She kissed him for a few more precious seconds, then bowed her head, breaking the intimate contact. “Isn’t wise. I’m not…the same.”
Jaxson wasn’t having it. “You feel the same.” He ran his lips over her cheek. “Perfect.” He licked the seam of her lips, teasing her. “You taste the same.” A gentle smooch. “Perfect.”
Despite her reservations, Tamara gave in to his coaxing. She couldn’t deny how much she wanted him. She’d missed being in his arms more than anything.
Jaxson could tell the moment she surrendered and the thrill of knowing she was his for the taking made him rock-hard and ready. With trembling hand, he touched her breast, rubbing the nipple through the thin material of her dress and bra. He loved the way she felt in his hand and he moaned in anticipation of the way she’d whimper when he sucked on her nipples. “You’re amazing.”
“Too small.”
He remembered the cruel lie, the jab he’d made about her being less than a woman. “I think you’re perfect. Every part of you. I didn’t mean any of it. Do you believe me?”
Tamara wanted to. “Yes.”
“I haven’t been with anyone else. Not since you,” he confessed as he cradled her close, moving Tamara until her back was against the cabin wall.
“Me either,” she managed to whisper.
Jaxson couldn’t touch her enough. His hands roved over her – up and down her arms, along her neck. Needing more, he lifted the hem of her skirt, skimming his palm over the smoothness of her thigh. “Need you so.”
Tamara clung to him as he touched her, running his finger under the elastic of her panties. “Ready for me?” He moaned when he found her wet. “God, you’re sweet.”