by J. Saman
I trust him. Jesus Christ, I do. I trust this man and my heart swells with that truth.
But Jake Harris Turner has a lot to lose.
I should never have come up here. I should never have let it get this far. If I were brave, I’d keep going. I’d pick up my things and leave. But I’m terrified of bus stations and trains. Airplanes are out, and I don’t have enough to buy a new car. I’m stuck here, waiting for Niklas to find me. If he hasn’t already. Brent is a wildcard.
What will happen to Jake when that happens, if I allow this—whatever this is—to continue?
He takes another bite of his food, watching me struggle before jutting his chin in the direction of my plate for me to do the same. “Eat up,” he urges. “The sun will be up in an hour or so and I want to show you something before that happens.”
I do eat. But only because I have no response to that. I know I need to go, but I find myself prolonging this breakfast, this time with him, for as long as I can. I wish I didn’t like you so much, Jake.
When I’m done eating and drinking his fantastic coffee, he takes my hand and slides open an invisible door amongst the long panel of glass that makes up his wall. The early dawn air is cool but not cold, and my feet glide of their own volition over to the edge of the balcony. I didn’t think Vegas had balconies for obvious suicide reasons, but his place is all balcony. It just goes on and on. We’re facing east right now, and I can see the very beginnings of the sun in the far distance.
Jake wraps his arms around me, folds me into his chest and rests his chin on top of my shoulder, our cheeks practically pressed together. I can’t help but flinch, to cringe back away from his touch and comfort. It’s as unsettling as it is wonderful. He doesn’t comment, and he doesn’t let me go. He just holds me tighter until, eventually, my body relaxes into his. I’m safe with him, is what this embrace says. The offer is so tempting. But the price?
“This is my favorite time of day here,” he whispers into the quiet darkness. We’re high up from the strip, so I can’t hear any of the madness below. And the lights that adorn the strip only seem to accent the impending dawn. “The sunset is spectacular, but it’s the sunrise that sets the tone, don’t you think?”
“Yes,” I manage, utterly spent and emotionally overloaded.
Even though I’m scheduled to go see Maddox this morning, I have no idea how I’ll manage that on no sleep. I should cancel and go tomorrow instead. I took his advice. I got myself a gun. An illegal one at that. Nevada doesn’t have the strictest laws, but there are still laws. If I’d gone to a reputable dealer, I’d have had to give my information and produce a real license. Neither of those were an option.
I got myself a Ruger LC9s. It’s small, concealable, lightweight and pretty easy to shoot according the man who sold it to me. But he doesn’t do lessons and he wouldn’t let me come back to practice at his range. I have to go to a legit place. That’s one thing, but signing up for lessons with a teacher is another. It can’t be done.
“Do you know anything about guns?” I ask Jake, my heart beating just a bit faster as my words float out into the early dawn.
“Guns?” He turns me in his arms, staring at me like I just asked him if the sky is the brown.
“Yes. Guns.”
“Why are you asking me that?” His expression turns guarded, his posture more rigid.
I sigh. Maybe this was a bad idea. But I feel like I need help with this and Maddox made it clear to me he wouldn’t be the one to give it. “Because I’ve always wanted to learn how to shoot one, so I figured…” I trail off, realizing just how unbelievable that sounds.
“Yes,” he says quickly. “I know about guns.”
I glance up, only to find him watching me with more concentration than he ever has before. “Would you teach me how to shoot?” I ask, going for broke.
“If you tell me why.”
I should have known.
“You can tell me the truth. I won’t tell anyone.” His hand brushes my cheek and I see it in his eyes. He means everything he says. No punches pulled, no lies, just brutal honesty. It cuts me to the quick. I don’t remember the last time I saw that in a man.
“I’m not sure I can do that. I want to. I don’t even know why, but I want to tell you things. But really, I’m just trying to protect you, Jake Harris Turner. Don’t dig deeper into my world,” I beg. Because if he pushes me, just a little, I’ll cave. I’m so desperate for a connection. For something real.
“I’ll teach you how to shoot,” he says in a hushed tone. “You don’t have to tell me why. I’ll help you.”
Relief courses through my veins, warm and welcome like a drug. “Thank you.”
He holds me tighter, kisses the side of my face, and then we watch the sun rise in all its glory. We marvel at the varying shades of pinks, purples, and gold. We cling to each other like this moment is as fleeting as it feels. And after that sun rises, I spin around in his arms and I kiss him.
I have to. It’s a thank you. Because he managed the impossible. He made me feel safe. Even if it only lasted the fifteen minutes it took the sun to rise. His tongue invades my mouth, one hand sweeping down to the crest above my ass, the other knotted in my hair. A soft groan catches in the back of his throat as we kiss with abandon.
“Stay,” he whispers against my lips just as I say, “I have to go.” I blink up into those oh-so-dark depths.
“Do you have to?”
“Yes.”
“Have dinner with me then?”
I shake my head. Because while this was a fantasy come true, reality always comes back with the light of day.
Chapter Fourteen
“Trying to outrun me?” I half-tease. Jake is kicking my butt up and down the strip today. The sunrise changed things between us. No, correction, the sunrise changed everything. At least, it did in my mind. It’s been three days since that sunrise and we’ve run together every day since. He continues to push for more breakfasts and dinners and even lunches, and I continue to thwart those advances. I tell him it’s better not to chase me.
I don’t tell him the actual reason, but I think he knows. Not necessarily the details, but the rough outline. He’s a smart man and can add pieces together easily enough. I like him. I’m drawn to him. I feel safe with him, and worse yet, I’m starting to miss him when I’m not with him. It’s all the kissing we’ve been doing, I think. He kisses like a rollercoaster. Fast, exciting, and with enough dips, spins and swirls to make my head spin and scream out for more.
He chuckles and slows his pace enough for me to catch him. Reaching out for my hand, he grasps it tightly before tugging me into his sweaty chest, kissing me as if to eliminate any shred of womanly doubt I was just having.
“I want to take you somewhere today.”
I shake my head. I have no idea why I continue to draw this line in the sand with him, but I do.
“You said you wanted to learn how to shoot.”
Oh. I wasn’t expecting that. “Now?” I’m incredulous. I can’t imagine there are shooting ranges open at this hour.
“Yeah. Now.” He grins at me and I love that he’s just the right amount of taller. “I know the perfect place.”
“I need a shower.”
A wicked smile lights up his face.
“I didn’t mean with you, dirty boy.”
“I know, and it’s a damn shame, because I’m dying to see you naked and wet in the shower.”
“You’re crass.”
“Only for you. Now hurry. We’re wasting time.”
“You’re the one standing here.”
He nods as he watches me with barely contained lust. “Can’t help it, I get hard as a fucking rock just looking at you.”
I blush like I’ve never blushed in my life and turn my face away from him. Jesus. My breaths are sharp and ragged and not remotely related to our run. He tilts my face to his again and kisses me, pressing into me like he needs to prove his point. And yes, he’s hard. Everywhere.
; “I want to take you shooting.”
“Okay. You can take me shooting. No more begging, though, Mr. Turner, it’s pathetic.”
He grins into me. “I want to kiss you more.”
“I know.”
“I want to do more than kiss you.”
I grin against his lips, heat flooding me in ways I’m embarrassed to admit. “I know.”
“This is Las Vegas. I doubt we’d even get in trouble if I fucked you right here in the middle of the strip outside the hotel.”
“Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you.”
He growls like a caveman and then kisses me again, sweeping his tongue inside my mouth to taste me as he bends me back. Christ, this man can kiss.
“Let’s go inside before I lose my mind any more than I already have.”
He walks me into the hotel and over to the elevators, even though he still likes to pretend he has no clue about my hotel room. Whenever I bring it up, he tells me I’m crazy. I press the button and when it opens, I step inside. “I’ll see you downstairs in a half an hour.”
“I take it back,” he yells at me as the doors begin to close. He sticks his arm in between them, making them jolt back in surprise with a loud ding.
“What?” I ask completely baffled. Now he doesn’t want to take me shooting?
“I can no longer be your friend or friendly or whatever crap you were saying.”
“Why’s that?” I’m trying so hard to hide my smile, my teeth sink into my bottom lip to cover it.
His eyes become heated as he takes me in, a cocky smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. I can’t get enough of playful Jake. Or naughty Jake. They’re like my personal kryptonite. “Well, for one, I’m picturing you naked in this elevator.”
“I’m not.” I roll my eyes.
He smiles the type of smile that has me clenching my thighs, desperate for some friction where I need it most. “I know. But I’m still envisioning you naked with your very long legs wrapped around me, my cock buried deep inside you.” A rush of air passes my lips. “That’s one of the marks of non-friendship. Picturing the other person naked while you fuck them till they come , and since I know you picture me, too, I think this friendship thing is done.”
“You have a dirty mouth.”
He grins. “You should see the way I fuck.”
I shake my head, folding my hands behind me and gripping the rim of the elevator wall. If I don’t, I’ll launch myself at him so we can live out that fantasy this very moment. I swallow. Clear my throat. “What are the other reasons? Because if we’re no longer friends, you can stop stalking me on my runs and you can get out of my elevator.” I raise an eyebrow at him.
He’s not deterred, positioning himself in the entrance of the elevator so the doors can’t close. “I think I may need to date you instead.”
I snort. “Nope.” I reach forward to press the button for my floor again, pushing him out. He steps back, but God, the way he’s looking at me...
“This is happening, Mia Jones. It’s when and not if.”
The doors close on him, and the moment he’s out of sight, I let out a shaky breath. Because that right there, that fake name on his lips, is why I can’t date him. It’s why I should leave town and never see Jake Harris Turner again. But I can’t stop myself. I enter my room and get in the shower with the intention of allowing him to teach me to shoot. With the intention of letting him take me somewhere and kiss me again. Probably more, if I’m being honest with myself.
Every rule I make about him, I break.
Every. Single. One.
I give in to him with very little resistance. It’s becoming easier and easier to blur the lines. To ignore reality and live in this world that still doesn’t quite feel real. Like I’m living someone else’s life. My parents would roll over in their graves if they knew I was working as a waitress and a bartender. They’d die all over again if they knew I ran away from Niklas and had slept outside for two weeks.
Thirty-two minutes later, I find Jake in the lobby, staring down at his phone. He’s wearing a green t-shirt and jeans and sneakers. He looks like any other guy, except I assume the black duffel bag resting by his feet houses guns. Such a weird thought.
“Where are we going?”
He glances up from his phone at the sound of my voice, a smile etched on his perfect lips as he tucks his phone into his back pocket. “I want to take you somewhere.”
When a man says something like that to you, that he wants to take you to fire a gun at an undisclosed location, well, it should raise alarm flags, right? Especially when the man you’re running from owned guns, knew how to shoot them, and once used the same phrase to draw you out into the woods, have violent sex with you and then proceed to beat you unconscious because you left the house to go shopping the day before and didn’t tell him. But Jake doesn’t give me the I’m-going-to-try-and-kill-you vibe. He gives me a I-want-to-fuck-you-crazy—in a pleasurable, non-violent way—vibe. He said he wants to date me. And considering the tingle that thought produces inside of me, I should tell him everything now. I should turn him down flat.
“Um—”
“Mia, please come with me,” he requests softly, but his eyes are earnest and begging for trust. Mia. Shit. I really need to tell him. But now doesn’t feel like the right time. It feels like the worst time in the world. Because once I do, I’ll have to leave, and I don’t want to.
And I do need to learn how to shoot my illegally purchased firearm, right?
“I guess I’m in.”
“You own a gun and keep it in your apartment?” I ask Jake as he drives us away from the city into the blazing heat of the desert. I’m really just talking, stating the obvious, because he’s taking me away from the city and it’s not even seven in the morning. I’m talking because if I don’t, I might vomit all over his what-smells-to-be new truck.
Jake glances over at me and shakes his head slightly, like he’s reading my thoughts perfectly. “Yes. I have a gun and I keep it in my apartment. I was in the Army. I think I told you that at one point or another.”
“No sarcasm right now, Jake. I’m hanging on by a thread.”
He chuckles and takes my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll talk more about me owning guns if you want. Probably not today, because I’m not really in the mood, but we will talk about it if you need us to.”
“Too busy contemplating your plan to lure me away from the city and…” I widen my eyes at him. “Kill me?”
He laughs like what I just said is ridiculous. Maybe that should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. Once upon a time, I was considered really smart. My tutors always told me I was and when I picked up four other languages like a native, I believed them. When I let Niklas move in, it’s like he zapped out every single smart brain cell I ever possessed and replaced it with clay or mud or something thick and simple. Because that’s what I had become. Thick and simple.
“We really need to work on this whole trust thing,” he says dryly.
“I’m just edgy,” I reply, glancing out the window.
“I can tell. And maybe when we go on our date, you’ll explain why.”
“Probably not.”
“Hmmm…okay. What can I do to get you to trust me?”
“I do trust you, Jake. Well, sort of.” I sigh. “I can’t help it. It’s just the way things are for me.”
“All right, baby,” he says on a breath. “But I’m not going anywhere. I want this with you. I want your full trust. I want your body and your mind and your everything.” He squeezes my hand again as if to punctuate his perfect words.
“I wish you weren’t so patient.”
“I’m annoyingly patient—”
“And persistent.”
He nods, his chestnut hair falling in his eyes, making him look boyish and innocent. “And persistent,” he agrees. “That sort of goes with being patient. I guess what I’m saying is, I’ll win you over eventually.”
You al
ready have.
“Why keep chasing me?” I ask before I can stop myself.
A smirk crawls up the corner of his mouth and it sits there as he mulls over my question. He’s silent for the next few minutes until we pull into a field in the middle of nowhere. And I mean nowhere. There is absolutely nothing around us. Probably for miles. Jesus, what have I gotten myself into?
Calling this place a field is a bit of an overstatement. It’s really dried out grass and cracked earth with the mountains in the distance. It’s open land as far as the eye can see.
Jake puts his truck in park, shuts off the engine and turns, engaging me before I can get out. “It’s not the chase or the thrill of the conquest,” he says, his flinty brown eyes searing into mine. “You do keep telling me no, but you also tell me yes sometimes. Like this morning. And every time we run together. And the other morning when I made you breakfast and we watched the sunrise. You definitely said yes to me then. And every time you let me kiss you and you kiss me back. But all that aside, it’s quite simple really. I like you. I’m drawn to you in a way I haven’t been drawn to a woman in a long time. Maybe ever. I spend time with you and once I’m back home alone, I want to do it all over again. I think about you. A lot more than I should. But it’s there and I do, and I won’t apologize for it. Especially when I know you’re right there with me.”
“Jake, I—”
“I know. You’ve got a lot going on you won’t talk about. I get it. But like I said, I’m not going anywhere.”
He leans in and presses his lips to mine, cupping the back of my neck with his calloused fingers. Calloused fingers I’d love to have all over my body. He pulls my lower lip with his teeth and then gives a wink. He just proved his point completely, didn’t he? He gets out of the truck, leaving me here with a dull, aching chest stuffed full of butterflies. Why didn’t I tell him? It was the perfect moment, but coward that I am, I chickened out.