by Annie Jones
Were his mind and heart really hers? Josie didn’t dare dwell on that question. So she asked about the safest offering. “A bakery truck?”
“Unless you have a better idea for how to transport to the Crumble enough pie to feed all of Mt. Knott.”
Josie went to the door and peered out at the truck usually seen making deliveries throughout the county, including the occasional, stealthy stop at Josie’s Home Cookin’ Kitchen.
“I had Jed and Warren and some moms in minivans each going to take as many pies as they thought they could safely transport.”
“Jed and Warren? When you counted how many pies they could ‘safely’ transport I hope you allowed for the ones that would not be ‘safe’ in their hands.” He smiled.
Josie smiled, too. She actually had planned on having a pie or two go missing during the short trip to the Crumble. Josie smiled because Adam had thought of it, too. For a guy who had only just returned to a town he purported to have held in contempt, he sure had gotten a feel for—and a good-natured regard for—the locals awfully fast.
That spoke well of the man, she thought. As someone who had moved often and under questionable circumstances, Josie had learned that often what you got out of new relationships was directly proportionate to what you put into them. That is, if you bothered to put anything into them at all. Adam had bothered.
Not only that, he had made connections. Clearly, he liked Warren and Jed, and they liked him. She just knew that if Adam gave everyone in Mt. Knott the same chance, they would have the same results. And then…
The rabbit-fast thumping of her heart made her nip any kind of further speculation in the bud. She narrowed her eyes at the bakery truck Adam had so sweetly put at her disposal.
“It’s not an elegant horse charging to your rescue, but then I’m more black sheep than white knight.” He gave a shallow bow followed by a brazen wink.
Sheep. Not stray dog. Josie tried not to read too much into that, but given their talk about the Lord as a shepherd and what it meant to bring the lost lambs home, she couldn’t help but stare at the old truck and murmur, “This is better. This is much better.”
On sheer impulse she went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.
“Much better,” he murmured, his dark eyes glittering as she stood with her face just inches from his. “Much, much better.”
“Much, much,” she whispered, lost in his eyes, not exactly sure what she had just agreed with.
He gave her an answer by returning her kiss—right on the front porch where everyone in Mt. Knott could see.
And Josie didn’t care.
The kiss was sweet and brief, but it took Josie’s breath away and left her knees wobbling. Just the way a real first kiss was supposed to.
When it ended she realized she had her hands on Adam’s shoulders. She jerked them away as if he had suddenly become hot to her touch.
He snagged her by the wrist. “Josie, I, this…this has all happened so fast for me.”
“Me, too.”
“Yeah, I know but you’ve had a little more time to get used to some of it. Suddenly I’m a father, or at least I have a child.”
“Da-da-da.” Nathan, who had been cruising around the furniture in the living room while his parents stood in the open doorway, dropped down and banged a spoon on the floor.
“You’re a father,” she assured him.
“And I’m back in Mt. Knott.”
“Believe me, I’ve noticed that.”
“And suddenly my family is having this big shindig in my honor.” He scoffed at the last word to show he felt he either did not have any honor or did not deserve for his family to treat him with it.
“It will be fun, just wait and see.”
“I’ve never been any good at waiting,” he said, stepping close.
“Think of yourself as setting a good example for your son.”
“You’ve used that on me before.”
“Parenting is a job that knows no hours and never ends. Nathan learns from us all the time. We don’t just teach him through our words but also through our actions.”
“Is that your way of saying I shouldn’t grab you up and kiss you on the spot.”
“On this spot,” she touched her cheek. “That’s okay, I suppose. For anything else, I think we’d better wait until after the barbecue when we can be alone to talk things through.”
“What if you don’t feel like talking to—or kissing—me after the barbecue?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know.”
Josie’s stomach tightened just a little. All these things she had been thinking of Adam, had she just come up with them because she wanted them so badly to be true? She had lived in dreams—dreams of being in a family, of having a family, of having a real home—had she lost track of the harsh realities surrounding this man?
She looked deep into his eyes.
Naw. What she saw there was no fantasy.
She shook her head. “Sometimes I think you take this man-of-mystery persona a little too seriously, Adam.”
“Me? A mystery? Why, I’m the easiest guy in the world to figure out.”
Josie sputtered out a laugh.
“I’m just a man who isn’t afraid to ask for what he wants.”
“Like you asked for your inheritance for example?”
“I was thinking more like asking for another kiss.”
She wagged her finger at him and shook her head. “Asking for what you want might work when you’re asking for a kiss that doesn’t mean anything. But when you ask for a kiss from me, and especially in our situation, I think you had better ask if you want everything that comes with it.”
“I’m…I’m not completely certain what that is.”
Josie raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Look, Josie, I don’t know exactly what will happen between us after today. That’s just flat-out reality. I do know that I would very much like for there to be an ‘after today’ for the two of us, however.”
“That’s part of the problem, Adam. There is no ‘two of us.’”
“Not yet.” He inched closer still.
“Not ever.” She gave him a light but firm shove. “There will never just be the two of us. We have Nathan to think of.”
“I don’t see how our having a good relationship can be a bad thing for Nathan.”
“It’s not, if we have a good relationship, a solid one. Those can’t be built on shaky ground.”
“Then we may be in trouble, because every time I’m near you the earth moves and I can hardly keep my footing.” He grinned.
“We have not known each other long enough for you to make a judgment like that,” she warned, even though she felt exactly the same way.
“Haven’t we? I feel as if I’ve known you a long time.”
“But you haven’t.” She held her breath a moment and considered holding back her opinion about what Adam was experiencing. But she couldn’t. He had kissed her once already and awakened all sorts of doubts in her. If they ever hoped to work through her apprehensions, they had to deal with them out in the open. “Are you sure you don’t have me confused with someone you have known longer and with much more intimacy?”
“You mean Ophelia?”
“Of course I mean Ophelia. I am her identical twin.”
“Her twin, sure, but identical? Not by a long shot.”
“We have the same build, basically. The same hair color, complexion and face. I suspect if you saw us together you wouldn’t be able to tell us apart.”
“Oh, yes I would. You two may look alike. That doesn’t mean you are alike.”
“Of course not. But given the short time you’ve known either of us…” She let him draw his own conclusions.
“I realized who you were once I saw you holding my son, Josie. Protecting him. You are his mother.” Adam brushed her hair back. He bent in close, but instead of trying to kiss her lips, he planted a kiss on her forehead. “And I can’t thank you
enough for that.”
“Really?”
“And for the record I know the difference between you and your sister. I know you, Josie. I don’t know Ophelia. I’m ashamed to have to admit it but I never really knew her, any more than I think she knew me. That’s one of those things people who ridicule Christian values never get around to mentioning when they make it seem that satisfying every animal urge is normal and healthy.”
“What?”
“They don’t tell you how lonely that kind of encounter can leave you, how empty. How like a wounded animal, a—”
“A stray?”
He nodded.
“I know you are applying that to Ophelia, Adam, but you might want to take a look at how it applies to your family.”
“My family?”
“Sure. You give in to the easy urge to feel sorry for yourself. To snap at the people you had to rely upon, to foster distrust of them. Those are not the acts of a man who is trying to live like Christ.”
It took him a moment and a few long, slow breaths, but finally he closed his eyes and nodded. “I see your point.”
“Now as to you and Ophelia—”
“There is no me and Ophelia. Despite Nathan as evidence to the contrary, there never was, really.”
“I wish that made me feel better, Adam.” She retreated inside, went to her son and picked him up. “Relationships and parenting are hard enough without having to cope with this kind of thing.”
“This kind of thing? You mean the whole identical-twins, secret-baby-of-prominent-local-lineage, fathered-by-returning-ne’er-do-well-son thing?” Adam followed her inside, chuckling. “You actually know other people who have to cope with that in their relationships?”
“Well-l-l-l.” Josie rocked from side to side with Nathan on her hip before rolling her eyes and conceding with a shy laugh. “Well, no relationship is perfect!”
“I guess not.” Adam laughed, too. “So, how do you suppose that, year after year, generation after generation of imperfect people have managed to fall in love, make a commitment, establish homes, raise families and grow old together?”
Josie fell very quiet. “A lot of them haven’t managed those things.”
“But those who have, what do you suppose a lot of them relied upon to help them get through it all?”
“God,” she said softly.
“Then let’s me and you do that, too, Josie.” Adam held his hand out to her.
“You want…to pray…with me?”
“It surprises me a little, too, but these past few days I’ve thought a lot about my new role and what I need to do, about businesses based on Biblical principles and…about us. I think it’s the right thing to do, don’t you?”
She did. So she slipped her hand into his.
Adam took her hand and bowed his head. For a long moment he said nothing. Or perhaps he prayed in silence. Josie didn’t know exactly what to do, so she used the moment to gather her thoughts, to humble herself before the Lord and to praise him and thank him.
She had so much to be grateful for, she realized, even in the midst of all her doubts. For Nathan. For Mt. Knott. For her work. For her baking talent. For Adam.
And for this day. This chance to know how it felt to be a part of a real family.
She drew a deep breath and held it. That’s when she realized that Adam had begun to speak.
“I am a lost sheep, Lord, returned to the fold, and yet not even sure he belongs in that fold. I did not come in humility and hope, but bearing pride and a grudge. I am flawed and fearful that I am unfit for the task You have set before me, to be a father to Nathan and a friend to Josie.”
“Friend,” she whispered before she could stop herself.
“Because of all the demands on any relationship, but most of all of those between a man and a woman raising a child together, the bonds of friendship are necessary to endure one another’s faults and missteps with laughter and good will. Thank You for bringing Josie into my life and into the life of our son, Nathan. Help us to face this and every day with faith in You and trust in each other.”
He squeezed her hand, which Josie recognized as his way of asking her if she had something to add.
“Bless all those who gather today.” She choked back her emotions. So many things she wanted to say. So many things she simply could not express except to say, “We submit to Your will and praise Your holy name.”
“Amen,” Adam murmured.
“Amen,” Josie agreed.
He released one of her hands but clung to the other long enough to coax her to look up and meet his gaze.
“You ready for this?”
For what? she wanted to ask. For you and I to begin our “friendship”? Or for the responsibility of transporting and serving enough pie to fill up the considerable bellies of every hungry person in Mt. Knott?
“I’m, uh, I’m not sure.”
“Neither am I.” He laughed softly, almost not a laugh at all. “But ready or not, here we go.”
Chapter Thirteen
Adam would have loved more time alone with Josie, but knew it was for the best that Jed and Warren showed up honking their horns and hollering to their “Sweetie Pie” that they had come to fill up their trucks. Of course, as soon as they peered inside the bakery truck they agreed it was a much better mode of pie transportation.
They happily helped Adam load up the supplies while Josie ran around with the phone glued to her ear, frantically reorganizing her moms-with-mini-vans, answering last-minute questions and checking on the lopsided status of salads versus sides. And each time the three men saw her, she had on a different outfit.
Finally one of the moms arrived in her triple-car-seat and double-bumper-sticker brand-new minivan. With much persuasion she loaded up Nathan and pledged to look after him until Josie and Adam got there.
Josie waved goodbye to the happy toddler, then rushed inside her house, shouting as she did, “I’ll be ready in a sec, Adam. Just let me get a change of clothes.”
“You have a whole pile of clothes that you’ve changed into and out of already on your bedroom floor,” Adam reminded her.
“I know, but I just remembered something I have in the back of my closet,” she called back.
“You look—”
Warren cut him off with a somber shake of his head. “Don’t even try to finish that sentence, son. Not if you hope to get rolling toward the Crumble in the next twenty minutes.”
Jed stood on the front-porch steps. “Warren’s right.”
Warren cupped his hand to his ear and grinned. “Say that again.”
“On this one occasion.” Jed drove home the point by placing his hand alongside his mouth and shouting it for all to hear, before he dropped both the hand and his voice and grumbled, “Warren is right.”
Warren chuckled, then turned to Adam, motioning for him to follow along as the older men went to their trucks. “It’s one of them, what you call, no-win situations.”
“A trap.” Jed nodded.
Adam paused on the lawn. “A trap?”
“Uh-huh. Not a bear-trap type of thing, though. More one of those woven-finger-puzzle deals.” Jed touched the ends of both his index fingers together and Adam could picture exactly what he was talking about.
“If you start trying to reason with a woman about how she looks in some kind of outfit you will never be able to extricate yourself.”
Adam thought of the red-white-and-blue shirt that looked sort of sailorish, and the white jeans she had been wearing. “I was just going to say she looks fine.”
Jed sucked air between his teeth.
Warren winced. “Fine? You actually intended to use that word? Fine?”
“But she does. She looks—”
“Shhhh.” Jed put his finger to his lips.
“Don’t say it again.” Warren opened the driver’s-side door on his sun-faded blue truck. He hopped in and gunned the engine. “We’ll meet you down at the Home Cookin’ Kitchen to help load up the pies
.”
Jed got into his green truck and gave a wave. “You can thank us later.”
Adam didn’t know if the men meant he should thank them for stopping him from getting into a now-in situation with Josie or for loading the pies. Either way it made him a bit uneasy to feel he was in any man’s debt.
That thought kept him quiet on the whole trip to Josie’s Home Cookin’ Kitchen to collect the baked goods, and as he and the other men passed one another taking pie after pie to the big, waiting bakery truck.
He had come back to Mt. Knott to square away old debts, as it were, to tie up loose ends and be done with the place once and for all. He stood on the sidewalk and watched the comings and goings of Josie’s friends and neighbors, so happy to pitch in and make this barbecue a success for everyone involved.
Mt. Knott, he decided, was not a place you could just be done with all that easily. Each new day, each new association, brought with it a responsibility to others, a connection, an opportunity to be a part of something good and productive and hopeful. How had he lived here so long and not seen that? How had he worked among these people and still managed to lose his way?
He only had to think of the benefactor of today’s picnic to find the answer to that question. Adam set his jaw. As soon as they finished loading the pies he would be going out to the Crumble for the biggest showdown of his life so far. He would face his father, not as a black sheep or somebody else’s baby, but as an equal. Or perhaps, depending on Dora’s recommendation, as his boss.
Why didn’t Adam feel better about that?
“That’s the last of them.” Jed slapped Adam on the back. “You be careful with that precious cargo now, you hear?”
“Don’t worry.” Adam shook off the sting between his shoulder blades. “Not a single piece of crust will be broken.”
“I ain’t worried about the pie, you just get our girl there in one piece.”
“Okay, let’s do this.” Josie stood before him, all smiles and softness.
Something was different about her, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Of course, if he tried to put his finger on anything to do with Josie, Adam knew she’d slap it away and tell him what for. He smiled at the thought and hurried to open the door of the bakery truck for her.