She came closer and looked over his shoulder. “I agree. Unfortunately, when you have a gun to your head or a knife at your neck, survival is the name of the game. You have to choose the right time to fight.”
“Yeah, I just hope to hell she found the right time.”
The knock at the door pulled them away from that grim thought. After signing for the meal, Seth rolled the cart to the middle of the room, placed a chair on either side of it, and waited for Honor to sit down.
As she took her seat, she smiled up at him. “Who was responsible for your impeccable manners? Your mom or your dad?”
Seth snorted out a humorous breath. “By the time I came along, both my parents had despaired of teaching their kids any manners. My two oldest sisters, Sandra and Patty, took it upon themselves to share their wisdom.”
“How’d they do that?”
“By telling me about their bad dates … about how rude and disrespectful the boys were. They made me swear I’d never treat a woman like that.” He shrugged. “Guess it stuck.”
She laughed softly as she removed the silver dome from her plate. “All boys should have such helpful sisters.”
“I’m sure my sisters would agree with you.” Seth removed the cover from his meal and took his time unfolding his napkin, feeling an odd, nervous anticipation as he waited to see what would happen.
“Holy hell, Seth. What did you order?”
Hiding a satisfied smile, he took a bite of his loaded potato and gave a moan of appreciation. “Damn, that’s good.” Scooping another bite onto his fork, he held it out to her. “Want some?”
They used to play this game all the time, and both of them always pretended it was the first time. Two or three evenings a week, they’d eat at his restaurant. The chef would always prepare a healthy, nutritious meal for Honor, while Seth usually had something heart attack–inducing. And every single time, he’d end up sharing half of his food with her. They never talked about it, never planned it. Just one of those habits that couples get into that come as natural as breathing. To think that they could fall back into the same sweetly familiar routine made his chest tighten with emotion.
She looked down at her spartan meal and then back up at him, her eyes gleaming with shared laughter. “Maybe just one bite.”
He held the fork out, and when Honor opened her mouth, he put the potato on her tongue. Watching her lips close over the fork and hearing her appreciative moan made him throb like hell.
Her eyes locked with his as he slowly pulled the fork from her mouth. Endless seconds passed; wordlessly they shared a moment of the past, without pain, without guilt. His entire body clenched. How he wanted to push their meal away and take her right here, right now. Relive the passion, the heat.
She drew a trembling breath and dropped her gaze to her meal. Reality returned, and with it came the inevitable memories.
Disappointed, but refusing to feel bitter, Seth returned his attention to his meal. He cut a quarter of his porterhouse steak and placed it on her plate, along with a generous helping of potatoes.
And Honor, doing what he expected of her, dug into the potato and said, “You need to start eating healthier.”
He took a generous bite of his steak. “You’re right.”
With the poignancy of the memory still hanging heavy in the air, they continued their meal in silence. Finishing up well before Honor, he unwrapped the generous portion of chocolate cake he’d ordered and divided it. Before he could slide half of it to her, she said, “No thanks.”
He didn’t bother to try to convince her otherwise. Her favorite dessert now tasteless in his mouth, Seth only took a few bites, then pushed it aside.
Hell, she was right. He did need to start eating better.
The Wyoming wilderness
Like a blanket covering the sun, night fell quickly. Anna figured she’d traveled at least four to five miles. Not a lot of territory but when your feet were almost twice their normal size, pretty impressive. Since she could do nothing for them, she had ignored the agony most of the day. Now that it was nighttime and she’d gathered leaves and branches for a bed, she had nothing else to do but try to stay warm and think about how much they hurt.
Had she made any progress toward civilization? She didn’t know. The sounds of dogs howling might have disappeared, but she knew better than to think they had stopped looking for her.
As she lay on the hard ground, she thought about the day she’d been taken. How long ago that was, she had no idea. In captivity, days ran together. At first, she had tried to keep track, but after they’d started drugging her, time had blurred and she’d lost count of the hours.
What they planned for her and the other girls she didn’t know—and, actually, didn’t want to know. The first few days, she had been locked in a small room with only a commode and a small mattress on the floor. A single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling had been her only light, and it had been turned off most of the time, with the exception of when she was fed. The food had been surprisingly plentiful, if bland. It was their delivery system that sucked. Twice a day, a small slot opened and a plate, along with a carton of milk, was shoved through. She imagined that wild animals at zoos were treated with more dignity.
Then a man had appeared one morning. With her foot chained to the floor, she hadn’t been able to get close enough to do any damage, but she had gladly screamed the most vile, atrocious language she could come up with. That had been a mistake. She should have cowered, acted beaten. Her temper and the indignity of her circumstances had overcome her good sense.
He had quickly closed the door. A few minutes later, he had returned with another man. That man had had a needle in his hand. While one had held her down, the other had injected the drug.
That had happened twice before she’d finally wised up and realized that the only way to get away from them was to let them think she was subdued and resigned to her captivity. Finally only one man appeared to give her the injection. She’d been weak but determined … and she had taken him down.
Which brought her back to the day she’d been kidnapped. It had started on a sour note because she’d argued with her dad that morning. He had been angry with her mom and, as usual, she’d been the sounding board for the two of them.
The call had put her in a bad mood, so when the young girl at the coffee shop approached her, she paid little attention at first. Her forensics lab exam was only two days away, and studying for it occupied her thoughts.
Then she heard a soft, tentative voice: “Excuse me. Do you mind if I sit here?”
Anna jerked her head up. She’d been so immersed in her reading, she’d forgotten where she was. She cast a glance around, saw that all the tables were full, and shrugged. “Sure, have a seat.”
Hoping the girl wasn’t the chatty kind, she bent back to her book.
“I’m new here. This is my first year.”
She drew a silent breath. So much for studying. Raising her head, she smiled at the young girl. She didn’t look older than eighteen and had such a delicate, angelic quality, Anna couldn’t help but feel protective. She knew how it felt to be thrust into a world of busy campus life where everyone seemed to know where they were going and what they should be doing except her. Which was one of the reasons she had attended a small social the day before. Not that it’d done any good. She’d felt years older than everyone there.
“What’s your name?” the girl asked.
“Anna Bradford. What’s yours?”
She held out her hand. “Call me Tabitha.”
She thought nothing of Tabitha not giving her a last name. They chatted about the small town of Harristown and how it differed from where they’d grown up. Tabitha said she was from somewhere back East. Their conversation lasted for about half an hour, and then Tabitha said, “Can I ask a favor?”
“Sure.”
“This boy asked me out the other day … I really like him and want to look good for our date, but I’m hopeless at picking out clothes
. Do you think you’d have time to go shopping with me, just for about an hour?”
Anna glanced down at the words on the page she’d been reading. What was the point in pretending she could get her concentration back? Maybe an hour of window shopping wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Besides, though Tabitha was a beautiful girl, her outdated cotton dress did scream for fashion help. She could play fairy godmother for an hour, couldn’t she?
“Sure.” Packing her books into her backpack, Anna stood. “You want to go to the mall?”
“There’s actually a little vintage shop about a mile from here. I found a dress that I think will look perfect … I just need a second opinion.”
Okay, well, vintage clothes weren’t exactly her thing, but with Tabitha’s looks, she could probably pull it off quite well. “That’s fine. Do we need to drive?”
She nodded eagerly. “My car’s out front.”
“I could follow you.”
“No really, it’s not that far. I’ll bring you back to your car as soon as we’re through. Promise.”
Anna shrugged and followed her out the door. What could it hurt? Two minutes later, she found it could hurt quite a lot. The instant she sat in the passenger seat, a giant hand came from the back of the car and covered her mouth with a noxious-smelling handkerchief. She woke to find herself in the trunk of a car with her hands and feet tied. Furious and scared, she made such a racket that the car had stopped. And that was when she saw him for the first time. A giant, mountainous man with the most vile, evil gleam in his eyes. What scared her even more was the loving smile he gave her as he injected a needle into her neck.
When she woke up the next time, she was in a small, cold, empty room, naked and tied to a wooden board. The groans, screaming, and cries of pain that surrounded her gave her the first indication of what she’d walked into and what they had planned for her.
Anna forced those nightmare thoughts away, and tightened the curl of her body under the pile of leaves. With fantasies of finding her way out and making those monsters pay comforting her, she closed her eyes and let sleep take her to a land where life was fair and justice overcame evil.
thirteen
Honor looked down at Seth’s bent head as he reviewed the notes from their phone conversation with Jared and Aidan. Though both men had information to share, no significant leads had been discovered other than that Karen Hatcher was also a transfer student and that the real reason Kelli Cavanaugh had transferred to another college was because of a broken heart. Breaking up with a boyfriend her parents hadn’t even known she’d had and wanting to get away from seeing him date her best friend was an interesting piece of news, but no one felt it had anything to do with her disappearance.
After ending the call, Honor had watched Seth withdraw, his expression almost austere. She knew the reason; she just didn’t know if he was going to be open to talking about it. Aidan’s casual comment about how several members of Seth’s family had questioned why he wasn’t there investigating his niece’s disappearance had put the scowl on Seth’s face. But an instant before that, she’d seen the flicker of hurt in his eyes.
Treading softly, she said, “See anything?”
“Nothing. The more I look at the evidence, the less sure I am that any of these disappearances are related.”
“Don’t do that to yourself, Seth.”
His head jerked. “Do what?”
“Punish yourself because of your family.”
Dark brows drew together in an ominous frown. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re second-guessing yourself because of your guilt, not because there’s not a connection.”
Seth pushed his chair back, stood, and went to the window. Pulling the drapes, he stared out at the night. “I don’t need you psychoanalyzing me, Honor.”
“I’m not. I’m just trying to help you understand where your doubts are coming from. Believe me, I know. There were cases where I became attached to the family and their pain became mine. That made me question everything I did. Should I have gone in a different direction? Was I seeing things that weren’t there just because I wanted to bring their children back to them?”
Her heart clutched … she hadn’t thought of those cases in a long time. The ones where no matter what she’d done or how much she’d wanted it, she hadn’t been able to solve the case fast enough or do enough to save the child. Yes, most times she had brought in the pervert responsible. But not always. And it had eaten at her, just as it was eating at Seth. Only for a different reason.
He turned to face her, and instead of the anger she’d seen seconds ago, there was understanding and compassion. Was it any wonder that she had once loved this man so very much?
“I’d forgotten that you worked with the Child Abduction Unit. My God, the misery and pain you must have seen.”
“Sometimes it was unbearable, but most times, the parents’ pain did what it needed to do. It drove me, helped me to stay focused, and made me even more determined.”
Seth twisted around to stare out the window again. “I just can’t get over the feeling that I should go to Houston and at least give them some kind of update.”
“We will, when we have something to give them. Going there now, without any concrete evidence, will only frustrate them more. Let’s get our preliminary investigation out of the way. Then, when you go, hopefully you’ll be able to give them hope.”
“You’re right.”
Feeling on firmer ground now, she asked, “Have you talked with anyone in your family, since this happened, other than Joel?”
He nodded. “The day after Joel called me, I went to his house to talk to him and his wife, Beth. Mom and my sister Ally were there, too. I think they came in case things got heated between me and Joel.” He shrugged. “I felt like a stranger with them.”
Honor couldn’t help but hurt for him. Her family meant the world to her; what would she do if she couldn’t call them, rely on them to be there when she needed them? Seth hadn’t had that for a very long time. The decisions he’d made for his job had cost him his close relationship with his family. And even though his actions had also broken her heart, she felt an unexpected anger at the Cavanaughs. Families were supposed to love and forgive you no matter what.
“When you told your family the truth about Clemmons, what did they say?”
“It’s what they didn’t say that was the most telling. Even though Clemmons didn’t know I was the mole, he still had enough money and influence to come after me if he found out the truth. I was still a target. After he was arrested, I told my mom, brothers, and sisters the truth, but they had to keep it to themselves. I know they were relieved that I wasn’t the sleaze they’d thought I was, but I could tell they were pissed, too.”
“Because you hadn’t trusted them with the truth?”
“That, and the fact that I had basically put my entire family at risk.”
“But that’s why you separated yourself from them, to protect them.”
“Yeah, well, that didn’t stop them from being pissed.”
Honor watched as he stared intently out the window. Her room faced the parking lot, and it was pitch-dark outside. He wasn’t looking at the view; he was looking inside himself, questioning and hurting. And Honor hurt for him even more. Yes, his family had suffered for what he’d put them through, but so had Seth.
“I would think they’d be proud that you did something so dangerous and selfless.”
“My mom defended me, but the things I had to say and do to keep them away from me are hard to forget.” He sighed. “Even though everything makes sense to them now … there’s still a divide.
“Most of the family never understood why I wanted to be a cop in the first place. I come from a long line of accountants, cooks, and realtors. Good, honest professions, but not exactly edge-of-your-seat excitement. I wanted something more.”
Without telling her legs to move, Honor found herself standing behind him. Putting her hand on his shoulder, she g
ave him something his entire family should have but hadn’t. “I think you’re a wonderfully brave man.”
He turned and looked down at her, puzzlement and something else in his expression. “After what I did to you, you can say that?”
“I’m still angry and hurt about that, but I also realize the sacrifices you made. Takes a strong person to be that committed.”
His mouth twisted into a semblance of a smile. “I really am sorry I hurt you.”
“I know you are.”
She gave him her own twisted smile and dropped her hand. If she didn’t get him out of her room, she was going to do something supremely stupid. Seeing this side of Seth made her want to ease his pain. Doing that now would involve more than just physical release. Making love to him would open up the part of her heart she’d sworn would be closed forever.
Honor backed away. “Guess we’d better call it a night. We need to get an early start tomorrow.”
Knowledge flickered in his eyes. He understood exactly why she’d moved away from him. Despite her determination to feel nothing, a lump developed in her throat.
“I’ll see you in the morning.”
As she watched him walk out the door, Honor literally had to grab on to the desk beside her to keep herself from running after him.
Years ago, she’d loved him with an intensity and fervor that had rivaled any great romance. Today, maturity and experience made her pause and assess every move, every word. After Seth, she had promised herself she’d never again fall so hard and so fast. Never feel so deeply. Now here she was, five years later, and not once had she felt for anyone close to what she had felt for Seth.
With an explosive sigh, Honor turned to the lackluster view beyond the window. She was in so much trouble.
In the late afternoon of the fourth day of her escape, Anna stood in the midst of the wilderness and, for the first time, began to question whether she would survive. She had no idea where to go, what direction to head in. She could live on berries and nuts—they were plentiful. And so far, finding water had been no problem. However, her physical condition was deteriorating. An hour ago, she had given up on the cloth covering her feet, which was just as well, since it really had provided little protection. But now she feared infection or worse. Her feet throbbed with a never-ending pain, and several of the cuts were red and inflamed. If she didn’t get help soon, she wouldn’t make it.
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