The front door was flung open and a petite, middle-aged, red-haired woman, her freckled face beaming, shouted, “Honey!” as she ran toward them.
Letting go of Seth’s hand, Honor ran to her mother and threw herself into her arms.
Before Seth could step back and give them more privacy, Honor turned to him, grabbed his hand, and pulled him closer. “Mom, this is Seth Cavanaugh.”
Holding himself straight and rigid, Seth withstood the piercing green stare of Honor’s mother. He had never met Honor’s parents, and even though he had known the relationship wasn’t going to last, he had regretted that. Honor had obviously adored her folks and had talked about them often.
As the stare continued, Seth got the idea that this was a test. Problem was, he didn’t know exactly how to pass it. Did she want a full confession and an apology for breaking her daughter’s heart? About to give her just that, he opened his mouth. Before he could speak, she said, “Are you hungry?”
Seth couldn’t help but smile. That question was exactly what his mother would have said. And he knew exactly how to respond: “Yes, ma’am, I am.”
Her expression one of approval, she glanced at her daughter. “Come on in and get settled. The pot roast is ready. I’m just waiting on the corn bread. I put Seth in the bedroom at the top of the stairway. Yours is at the end of the hallway.”
Flashing the beautiful smile he’d fallen in love with, Honor pulled him into the house. He stood in the foyer and watched Mrs. Stone head toward the back of the house, then disappear around a corner.
“Let’s get our bags upstairs; then I’ll show you around.”
The anticlimactic meeting with Honor’s mother leaving him feeling oddly unsettled, Seth grabbed both bags and followed her upstairs. He came to a halt when she grabbed his sleeve and stopped him in front of a door. Her voice low, she said, “Separate bedrooms. Okay?”
He had expected nothing different … it would have been the same in the Cavanaugh home. “Your mom’s nice.”
“I think so. She’s been through a lot, especially the last few years, with my dad dying.” Honor shrugged. “She’s always been our rock, but when we lost him, I thought for a while that we were going to lose her, too.”
“How long were they married?”
“Thirty-seven years.”
“My parents were together for forty-two.”
“I wished I’d been able to meet your father.”
He wished that, too. But his dad had been gone for several months before Seth had met Honor. Of course, he had resisted like hell Honor meeting anyone in his family. Not that his mother had listened … at least, not at first. Ruth Cavanaugh had taken matters into her own hands. He still remembered the tightness in his chest when he’d explained that he and Honor were not a permanent thing and he had no real feelings for her. One of the many lies he’d had to tell that had carved a scar on his heart.
Hell, for a man who hated dwelling on his past mistakes, he’d been reminding himself of a lot of them lately.
“I’ll go put my bag in my room,” Honor said. “After dinner, we can take a walk on the beach, if you like.”
Suddenly morose and pissed at himself for the feeling, Seth stepped into his assigned bedroom. He knew Honor stood at the door for several seconds before she walked away.
Seth gazed around and didn’t wonder in the least why he’d been put in this particular room. It was full of Honor. Photographs covered the walls and trophies filled the shelves. Mrs. Stone was making a statement, one he understood and had lived with daily: Look what you gave up.
Honor dropped her bag in the room she’d stayed in when she’d come here to recuperate. Funny, her mom must have decided to redecorate and packed her stuff away. The room was almost bare except for a few new decorative pieces she’d never seen before. After this case was over, she’d ask her mom to send some of her most treasured framed photographs to Paris. The bare walls of her apartment there were beginning to wear a bit.
She took a few minutes to freshen up in the attached bathroom and then headed back to Seth’s bedroom. His reaction to her mother had been amusing but poignant, too. How many times had she suggested a weekend trip so Seth could meet her parents? Each time, he had put her off with excuses. The reason he hadn’t wanted to meet them was now clear: Seth had known their relationship wasn’t going to last. She hadn’t known the truth and had been disappointed in his reluctance not only to meet her family but for her to meet his.
Seth’s mother had had other ideas, though. About a month after they’d started dating, Ruth Cavanaugh had called Honor at her apartment and invited her to Sunday dinner. Honor had eagerly accepted and had called Seth to tell him, figuring he would think it funny. Being so hopelessly in love with him, she hadn’t clued in to his odd, unenthusiastic response at her news.
The dinner had been delightful, noisy, messy, and full of laughter. Even Seth seemed to have a great time. That had been the first and last time she’d seen anyone in his family. Looking back on it now, she knew he had probably talked with his mother and advised her that their relationship was only temporary.
Honor stopped a few feet from Seth’s bedroom door and purposely waited for several seconds. Being angry with him about his deception and past actions would get her nowhere. One of her dad’s favorite sayings was that dwelling on the past was a sure way to ruin the future. Not that she had a future with Seth, but she did need to be able to work with him.
She knocked, and when his voice said “Come in,” Honor opened the door. Seth was standing across the room, gazing at a wall full of framed photographs. A swift look around the room had her laughing softly. Her mom had been busy … now she knew where her things had gone. Beverly Stone had a flair for making a point.
By the chagrined expression on his face, Seth knew that, too. “Your mother makes quite a statement.”
Honor crossed the room to stand beside him. “Sorry about that. She has a tendency to be quietly dramatic.”
Seth pointed to a small grouping of photographs. “Who’s that?” The pictures were of Honor as a child—riding her bike, swimming in the community pool, skateboarding, water-skiing on Watkins Lake. And in each shot, another young girl was with her. Dark hair, brown eyes, and a mischievous grin … such an incredible zest for life. It had taken Honor years to be able to look at these photographs without sobbing.
“Marnie Simmons, my best friend.”
“She’s the one you told me about? The reason you joined the Bureau?”
Honor nodded, now able to smile at the wonderful memories she and Marnie had made together. Her mother had packed the photos away, telling her she would want to see them again someday. A few years after Marnie’s death, Honor had pulled them out and, after grieving again, bought frames for many of her favorites and put them up on her wall. She had even carried several of them to college with her. They had been her incentive.
“Odd, but we only knew each other for two years. My parents moved to Kentucky a few weeks before school started. I met Marnie the first day of school, and we were friends from that first hello.”
“How old was she when she was murdered?”
“Thirteen. Her birthday had been the week before. Since our birthdays were so close together, we combined our birthday parties.”
“She was killed on your birthday, wasn’t she?”
“Yeah. Her mom dropped her off at my house so we could swim together at the community pool. Marnie went to get a soda from the vending machine and never came back.”
Despite the years that had passed, Honor still remembered the emotions of that day. The fear when she realized Marnie was missing. The guilt of not having been there to protect her friend. And then the overwhelming grief when Marnie’s battered body was found a few days later by hikers. She’d been raped and stabbed repeatedly.
Barely two hours after Marnie had gone missing, the FBI had arrived. Honor had watched intently as they’d gone about their investigation. Two days after Marnie’s body ha
d been found, a part-time worker at the city pool had been arrested. The bastard was still in prison today, and if Honor had anything to do with it, he would remain there until he died.
She had been immensely impressed by the FBI investigators. Their commitment to finding Marnie and then her killer had been obvious. The week after Marnie’s funeral, Honor had announced to her family that instead of joining the military, she planned to become an FBI agent.
“Honor, Seth, dinner’s on the table.”
Her mom’s voice bringing her back to the present, Honor grabbed Seth’s arm and pulled him toward the door. “Let’s go. My mom’s a drill sergeant when it comes to meals.”
When he didn’t budge, she looked up at him in surprise. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re a remarkable woman, Honor Stone. Did you know that?”
Honor laughed. “Mom will be so happy to know that she was not only heard loud and clear, but that you wholeheartedly agree with her. She loves it when that happens.”
Seth shook his head. “That wasn’t your mom’s statement. She put me in here to show me what a damn fool I was. And you know what? I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.”
As Honor rinsed the dishes for the dishwasher, her mother put away the leftovers. The meal had been surprisingly upbeat. Seeing Seth devour her mother’s food and his appreciative, complimentary words had done something to Honor’s heart.
“That was a marvelous meal, Mom.”
Wrapping up what was left of the roast, Beverly Stone lifted her head from her task and smiled. “You and Seth both looked like you needed the nourishment.”
“It’s been a difficult few days for him.”
“And for you, too? Seeing him again must have been a shock.”
Honor snorted. “That’s an understatement.”
“You told me a little on the phone … about why he did what he did. My question to you is, what are you going to do about it?”
In mid-rinse of a casserole dish, Honor stopped to shoot a questioning look at her mother. “Do about what?”
“Now that you know he had a good reason for breaking your heart, what are you going to do about it?”
“He had a good reason for taking on the job. Breaking my heart was another matter. Not telling me the truth was wrong.”
“Sweetie, when men are thinking with their hearts, not their heads, common sense gets put to the side. He was trying to protect you.”
“I was an FBI agent. I didn’t need protecting.”
“Honor, you weren’t an FBI agent to him. You were the woman he loved. There’s a big difference.”
Honor turned back to the sink, that statement cutting deep into what she’d considered her carefully thought out and justified anger. When Seth had told her he’d lied to her to protect her, she’d been insulted. She hadn’t needed protecting. Now, with her mother’s words blurring that anger, she allowed herself to consider his actions in a new light.
She had never been in love before Seth … had never even come close. For most of her life, she’d been focused on achieving one goal or another. Romantic entanglements had been something she’d steered clear of—her eyes always on her objectives.
Her parents had raised her to believe she could accomplish anything. She had never doubted their love, but they had never coddled her or treated her with less than the highest of expectations. They’d raised her brother the same way. Sure, they would have come to her defense if she’d needed them. So would Nick. But she’d never thought of herself as a person who needed to be protected.
Finishing up the last of the dishes, Honor dried her hands and grabbed her mom for a quick hug. “You’re a brilliant woman. You know that?”
“But of course I am. How else could I have a daughter like you?”
Honor grinned and walked toward the doorway. Her mother’s voice stopped her. “You know, I put you in separate bedrooms because I didn’t know how you felt about each other.”
Not sure where she was going with this, Honor said, “Okay …”
Giving the mysterious smile of absolute knowledge her family had often teased her about, she shrugged. “Just saying …”
With a snort, Honor walked out of the kitchen. If they stayed here any longer, she’d no doubt be giving pointers to Seth, too. Her mother had a tendency to dole out wisdom and advice. And this time, just like in most other cases, her mom made way too much sense.
nineteen
Salty air, heavy with the threat of an early evening thunderstorm, blew across Seth’s face. Honor strolled on the beach beside him, her expression faraway and solemn. Years ago, she would have told him what was on her mind. Dealing with secrets had been part of her job, but when it came to sharing herself with Seth, she’d been totally open. He, on the other hand, had shared as little as he could get away with.
The dinner with Honor’s mother had been enjoyable. The pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, and corn bread had been out-of-this-world incredible. What had surprised Seth was how much Honor had eaten. When she’d seen him gawking at her second helping of mashed potatoes and gravy, she’d laughed. “I’ll be overloaded with carb guilt tomorrow, but somehow I can’t make myself care about that right now.”
Beverly Stone apparently thought she’d made her point with the bedroom because she had treated Seth like an honored guest during dinner. Her questions and comments had been related only to current news events. Not once had she asked about the case he and Honor were working on together or said anything about breaking her daughter’s heart.
Watching Honor and her mother together had given Seth a rare insight into Honor’s life. The love and respect were obvious, as was the ease they had with each other. In a way, it reminded him of the big, boisterous Cavanaugh gatherings of the past. Though the noise quotient was often at decibels above what the human ear could handle, the enjoyment they had in one another’s company more than made up for the pain. Seth could document to the day when that atmosphere had changed forever.
Pulling to a stop, Honor faced him and asked quietly, “Want to talk about it?”
In the past, he would have come up with something glib or tried to take her mind in a different direction by kissing her. Not that he didn’t want to kiss her right now, but not having to hide behind a façade anymore felt damned good.
“I was thinking about my family … comparing mine to yours.”
“In what way?”
“About how easy you and your mom are with each other. We used to be like that.”
“What changed it?”
He shrugged and looked out at the ebbing tide of the ocean, his mind on a past he couldn’t change. “The setup for my undercover job … the accusation of taking bribes. There was no way to prepare my family for that. No way to assure them that I really wasn’t the dirty cop the press was portraying me as. My dad probably took it the worst. He’d been so proud of me, becoming the first policeman in the family.”
“Did your family believe you when you told them you didn’t take the bribes?”
“Yes. I knew they would, but the rumors hurt.” He shrugged. “We’d always been so damn lucky. No major catastrophes or illnesses. Hell, even my great-grandmother was still alive then. We sailed through life without the typical angst of divorces, teenage pregnancies, drugs, infidelities. All of those things that tear families apart didn’t exist for us.”
Her expression gently understanding, she said, “You think you started it all, don’t you?”
“Hard not to think that. A month or so after the accusations, I quit the force, as planned. Broke my family’s heart, because to them it looked like an admission of guilt.
“When I opened the restaurant, things settled down and the family was excited about my new venture. But still, the atmosphere at family gatherings was different.” He shrugged again. “Like we’d lost something … maybe an innocence. Not long after that, my great-grandmother died. She was elderly and it wasn’t unexpected, but it’s like I started the ball r
olling and it hasn’t stopped since.”
“Other than Kelli’s disappearance, what else has happened?”
“Let’s see. Two divorces, one affair, a DUI, and one shoplifting charge. And that’s just the stuff I know about.”
“You can’t seriously believe you’re responsible for these things.”
“I know I’m not responsible for other people’s bad decisions. I just hate being the first one to tarnish the Cavanaugh name.”
“For a damn good reason, too.”
Seth couldn’t help but grab her and hug her tight. Of all the people who had a reason to defend him, Honor should be the least likely. But again, Honor Stone was not an average, ordinary human being. He’d known that the moment he’d met her. There was something pure and bright about Honor. An untouchable goodness.
Burying his face in her hair, Seth breathed in a subtle fragrance he’d always associated with Honor. He’d never been able to identify it and she’d sworn she never used anything special. Nevertheless, it was a scent he’d never been able to forget.
She tightened her arms around his waist and flattened her body against him. Arousal surged hot and urgent. She groaned and rubbed against him like a cat seeking warmth. Cupping her butt with his hands, he pressed into her softness, loving the sound of her increased breathing in his ear.
“We’re not exactly alone,” she whispered.
Yeah, he’d known that, but hadn’t really cared. Getting Honor in his arms made everything else secondary, including having an audience.
“Don’t suppose we could go back to your mom’s house and send her to the movies, could we?”
She pulled away from him, laughing. “My mom has heard every excuse from my brother and me. She’s never fallen for one yet.”
“Can we go someplace? To be alone?”
“Where are we going with this, Seth?”
Dropping his arms, he stepped back. Hell, that was a question he hadn’t wanted but one she had every right to ask. Where was this going after they found Kelli? The sex between them was as hot as ever, but so much had changed. He wasn’t the person he used to be. A washed-out ex-cop with a run-down beach house, a fishing boat, and absolutely no future.
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