by Amira Rain
Something in the back of my mind had always told me that it wasn’t, though. Despite this, being that Eric and I had been compatible in areas outside the bedroom, I’d stayed with him, and our relationship had plodded on. Until I just hadn’t been able to accept his marriage proposal, anyway.
After locating a small jar candle in the dresser drawer, adding it to the pillar candles, and lighting it, I found I just still wasn’t ready to turn around and face Gavin. “Maybe I’ll try to find just one more candle.”
“Okay…but to me, it looks like we have plenty.”
With five burning at once, filling the room with a fairly bright glow, we did surely have plenty.
Though still, I began rummaging around in another drawer with my bashfulness and nerves intensifying. “Maybe just…just one more candle, and we should be good. And then maybe I’ll go get a vase of silk flowers to bring in here. Do you like flowers, Gavin? I do.”
“Alyssa.”
“Oh, here’s another little jar candle.”
“Alyssa.”
Something about his voice finally made me turn around and look at him. “What is it?”
“Come here.”
Something about the two words he’d spoken, such simple words yet unmistakably commanding when spoken together, had rekindled my desire for him, and not just a little. The sight of him sitting on my bed, kind of leaning back a bit with his weight on his hands behind him, had also rekindled my desire for him more than a bit.
In the warm candlelight, his lightly tanned skin almost seemed to glow, and the contours of his muscular physique appeared even more well-defined in the golden light. The candles also allowed me to see something else, too.
Gavin had become hard while we’d been kissing, and if a distinct bulge in the front of his battered jeans was any indication, he hadn’t yet lost much, if any, of that hardness.
Trying to keep my gaze from settling on that one particular part of him, I did as he’d asked and walked over to him, something about the simple act of complying with his request stoking my desire further still. When I reached him, I thought he might ask me to sit next to him or something, but he didn’t.
Instead, he pulled me into his arms, planted a slow line of kisses across my throat, making me sigh, and then looked into my eyes with candlelight dancing in his own. “I’m not sure that I’ve ever been as attracted to a woman as I am to you, Alyssa, and I badly want to make love to you. I just want to make sure that you still want the same thing.”
Without hesitation, I nodded. “I do…and I feel the same way about you as you feel about me. I’m not sure that I’ve ever been as attracted to a man as I am to you, and I badly want you to make love to me. That’s definitely what I want right now, and that was what I wanted even at the dresser…but I was just fumbling around for a second because I started to feel nervous.”
“Why?”
“Well…I’m maybe not the most experienced woman in the world in the bedroom department, so I guess I’m just a little self-conscious as to what you might think about me in that area. If you want a woman who one thousand percent knows what she’s doing at all times in the bedroom, that’s probably not me.”
“I couldn’t care less about how experienced you are or aren’t. That you want me too, is all that matters to me.”
“Well….” I studied Gavin’s almost impossibly handsome face in the golden, flickering light for a moment. “I definitely want you…more than any man I’ve ever wanted before, I think. And now that I’m back in your arms like this…all my nerves or whatever have just kind of vaporized.”
They really had.
“Good. But if they come back at any point, please just tell me, and we can stop or slow down. Whatever you want.”
“Okay. Thank you.” Smiling a little, I leaned in and began kissing him, but then pulled away after several seconds. “I don’t often do this, you know…just hop right into bed with a man. I’ve actually never done it before. This is my first, first-date getting-into-bed-with-someone experience.”
“Mine, too.”
I just looked at him for a second or two, unable to tell if he was joking or something. Or lying. I just found it somewhat surprising that a man in his early thirties, with his incredibly good looks, had never hopped right into bed with a woman on the first date. I was certain he’d had many, many opportunities.
“Say that again, looking right in my eyes again how you were.”
With his unique gray-and-gold eyes twinkling, Gavin continued looking right into my eyes. “Mine, too. This is my first, first-date getting-into-bed-with-someone experience. Unlike some men, the idea of the conquest or the quick thrill has never appealed to me. Not that I have anything to compare it to, but I think lovemaking while two people are in a relationship is much more satisfying on a few different levels.”
“Well…we’re not in a relationship, so what changed your mind tonight? What made you agree when I asked you back here for coffee? Which…deep down, we probably both knew it was possible that we might not get to the coffee.”
With his eyes twinkling again, Gavin pulled me from my feet onto his lap in one swift, seemingly effortless motion. “I’m not sure yet exactly what it is, but there’s something so incredibly special about you, Alyssa. It’s not just that you’re gorgeous. Obviously, I’m very…very attracted to you on a physical level, but…I’m also very attracted to you on a level that isn’t just skin-deep.
I like how you cared for your sick friend. I like how you tip your head back when you laugh. I like how you fought so hard to maintain your dignity by trying to convince me that you weren’t actually crying in the parking lot. I like your voice, and how you talk about yourself and your life, and I like the things that seem to be important to you. It’s even more than all this, though, but like I said, I’m not exactly sure what. I’m just drawn to some kind of sparks you throw. Honestly, I think you had me in the palm of your hand at caramel apple.”
Part of me wanted to smile, wanted to tease him by asking if it would have made a difference if I’d said I wanted an elephant ear or a corndog at the fair. But another part of me felt far too serious for any jokes, and this part also seemed to be causing a funny sort of heaviness in my chest, like the welling of some emotion I couldn’t even identify.
“Please kiss me, Gavin. Please just hold me and kiss me.”
I didn’t have to ask him twice.
Like had happened mere seconds after we’d gotten through my apartment door, we were soon kissing; then hands were soon freely roaming; and somehow, within just a few minutes, I found myself standing naked in front of Gavin, who was standing in just a pair of black boxer briefs.
After surveying my body from head to toe in the candlelight, he spoke in a decidedly husky voice. “You’re absolutely gorgeous, Alyssa…every inch of you. Just flawless.”
I wasn’t sure about that, but the way his hungry gaze had briefly settled on my breasts and hips had told me that he was truly admiring of my figure. He’d also seemed to have especially enjoyed feasting his eyes on my shoulders, waist, and legs. Really, it seemed as if maybe he really did think every inch of me was flawless. Which was funny, since he was the one with a physique like a Greek statue.
Once I’d helped him out of his boxer-briefs, pulling them down slowly, feeling as if I was opening a gift of some sort, I saw that his manhood was just as perfect as the rest of his body. So perfect, in fact, that I made an involuntary little gasp, sure my eyes were probably wide as saucers.
Extending from a circle of short, dark curls, his shaft was straight and rock-hard, if the way it was standing so proud it was nearly flush with his chiseled abs was any indication. These weren’t even the things that struck me first, though. Immediately, with my breathing becoming fast and ragged, what I noticed was his size and length.
Both were considerable. He didn’t look too large, large on a level of it being painful to take such a member, but maybe just short of. For me, considering the kind of complete fullness I’d always
fantasized about, Gavin’s manhood looked as perfect as if I’d designed it myself.
Being a woman who’d never been entirely certain about how to touch a man for his maximum pleasure, I soon surprised myself by wrapping a hand around his thick shaft, finding that it was indeed rock-hard. A sharp intake of breath told me that Gavin liked my touch, which encouraged me, and I began running my thumb across the head in a slow, circular movement, applying fairly light pressure, but not no pressure.
For this kind of touch, I was rewarded with a groan from Gavin, and this, combined with the feel of what I was doing, gave me so much pleasure that I made a little groan myself.
“Does this feel good?”
Another groan was Gavin’s response, and I continued with my slow circling of the head of his shaft, enjoying it probably just as much as he was.
After a minute or so, though, Gavin’s groans became increasingly frequent and loud, and he began almost imperceptibly rocking his hips, as if maybe he was beginning to want further stimulation. With an ache low in my belly and my feminine lips drenched in slickness, I was definitely getting there, too, and when Gavin soon gently disengaged my hand from his shaft, picked me up, and carried me the couple of steps to my bed, I didn’t protest.
He sat down on the edge, settling me on his lap, then began kissing me, one hand creeping down my front to tease my stiffened nipples in turn. When this attention had made me moan into his mouth several times, he trailed his hand a little lower, then slowly ran a finger between my slick lips a few times, making me moan again.
When he located my most sensitive spot and began stroking it with a single fingertip, applying just the amount of pressure I liked, I was forced to break our kiss, crying out, and the sound tapering off into three garbled words that vaguely sounded like please, don’t, and stop.
Gavin didn’t stop, and it wasn’t long before I was panting with desperation and desire, more than ready to be touched inside. As if reading my mind, Gavin soon slowly slid two fingers into my depths and then began sliding them in and out with equal slowness, making me writhe on his lap. Judging by a few periodic growls rumbling deep in his chest, he was also enjoying our current activity, which turned me on even further.
When he curved his fingers even more than they’d already been curved, gliding his fingertips along some intensely pleasurable spot deep inside of me, my panting turned into a long, low moan that left me nearly breathless.
“Please, Gavin. I need to feel you inside me now. Whatever position you want to make love in…however you want to do things…I just need to feel all of you now.”
As it was, just the feel of his large hardness against my hip was becoming something of a torture, just to feel it so close and yet not exactly where I wanted it.
In response to what I’d said, I thought that Gavin might pull me on top of him, to ride him, or place me in bed on my back so that he could be on top. However, what he did do wasn’t a position that was even on my radar, because I’d honestly never heard of it before. I wasn’t sure if I ever could have even dreamed it up.
After withdrawing his fingers from my slickness, he parted my legs even a bit further. Then with his left arm around me, he kind of tipped me forward, so that I was rolling off his lap a few degrees to the left, on my left hip, which exposed my rear and intimate parts to him. Not sure exactly where things were going, but trusting that I’d probably like the ultimate direction, I wondered what Gavin was going to do next, and I didn’t have to wait long to find out.
Within a moment or two, I felt the head of his shaft at my slick entrance from behind, and then he began tipping me back onto his lap with a low growl, very slowly causing me to slide down the length of his hard rod. Seemingly encouraged by me moaning, he didn’t stop until I was sitting again, with my left hip on his muscular thighs and my right kind of up on his stomach, having slid down the entire length of his shaft.
To have every inch of his considerable length inside me was honestly a bit uncomfortable, though not in an entirely unpleasant way, even though I realized that didn’t make much sense. But still, even though I felt stretched, or overly stuffed, or something else I couldn’t even identify, I kind of didn’t want the feeling to stop.
And after a few moments, I really didn’t want it to stop. I was definitely stuffed fuller than I ever had been, and by a harder erection than I’d ever felt, but it was beginning to feel amazing somehow. It was beginning to feel so amazing, in fact, that I could barely form words, only managing to tell Gavin that he felt good between long sighs of pleasure.
Seeming to want to make sure that I’d completely adjusted to his size before we went any further, he just held me on his lap and kissed me for a while, groaning faintly, until I was so desperate to feel him moving his pole inside of me that I’d begun gently rocking on his lap. Once again not sure exactly where things were going to go, since it wasn’t like I could get any real leverage with my legs dangling off the side of his own, I wondered what exactly he had in store for me next, again fortunately not having to wait long to find out.
Cradling me in his arms, he slowly leaned back on the bed without sliding himself out of me. Then, since I was in a semi-awkward position, with the side of my upper torso against his chest but my rear more or less against his hips, he shifted me in his arms so that he was still holding me around the shoulders with his left arm but not his right, allowing me to stretch out on my back pretty much fully, supported by his arm. If I’d had to guess, I would have said that our bodies formed something of an X shape, or a crooked lowercase t.
When I felt Gavin lift his hips off the bed, I moaned in anticipation of what he was going to do. And when he slowly began thrusting his beyond-stiff rod in and out of my slickness, growling, kind of bouncing me off his hips, I cried out the word yes, never having experienced such carnal pleasure in my life. Not even close, actually.
Since what Gavin was doing, supporting me and thrusting into me from below, seemed like a task of almost impossible strength and coordination, I wasn’t quite sure how long he could sustain it. Feats of strength and coordination didn’t seem to be any problem at all for him, though, and he continued with his bouncing-type thrusting for a good while, making me moan almost continuously.
I began nearing what I was certain would be the most powerful climax I’d ever had in my life. At the same time, Gavin seemed to be nearing his own peak, beginning to thrust harder and faster. It wasn’t long before he pulled himself out of me, lifted me to the side of the bed, and then rolled on top of me, parting my legs with his knee at the same time.
A bit breathless, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, elated. Although I’d loved our previous very unique positioning, I’d been hoping that we might face each other, looking into each other’s eyes, for the final stretch of our pleasure.
That final stretch didn’t last very long at all. After a minute or so of fairly, hard, fast thrusting, Gavin paused just long enough to hike my legs up on his shoulders, allowing him to penetrate me the most he had yet. And it was this, combined with him looking into my eyes deeply for a few moments, which sent me hurtling over the edge of ecstasy, crying out while wave after wave of indescribably intense pleasure rolled through my body.
At the same time, Gavin reached his peak as well and growled out his own pleasure, filling me with the warmth of his masculine essence.
Once our bodies had stilled, except for our heaving chests while we tried to catch our breath, I began expecting Gavin to roll off me and go right to sleep, since this was what Eric had always done. Once he’d reached orgasm, he’d never had any interest in talking, holding me, or touching me in any way, so I’d almost grown to see this as normal. Sometimes he’d give me a polite smile and say goodnight before rolling over to face the wall.
Gavin, however, didn’t roll off me right away. First, he caressed the side of my face with a feather-light touch, using fingers from his left hand, fingers that hadn’t been inside of me. While he did this, he just looked into my
eyes for several moments, and then he spoke in a husky near-whisper, saying that I was so beautiful.
“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever set eyes on. And your face just now…I can’t even explain to you how stunning you looked.”
I wasn’t sure how “stunning” my “orgasm face” could have possibly looked, because I was pretty sure I’d been squeezing my eyes shut and grinding my teeth, for the most part. I almost didn’t even know what to think about what Gavin had said. Except that what I thought was that I liked it. Loved it, actually. I was beginning to think I was falling in love with not only his words, but with him himself, all of him, and maybe even deeply.
After brushing a few tender, lingering kisses against my lips, he rolled to my side, but he didn’t stare up at the ceiling or face the wall.
He took me in his arms and began planting a few kisses along the side of my face, but then stopped kind of abruptly. “Oh…the candles. I’ll go blow them out.”
Once he’d done just that, he returned to bed and once again took me in his arms, now in the complete dark. With his touch somehow heartbreakingly gentle, he began slowly stroking my hair, making some powerful emotion rise in my chest like how it had done earlier, when we’d been talking with me on his lap.
I realized there was something I needed to ask him before we drifted off to sleep. Something urgent, something crucial. A question that I wasn’t entirely sure that I wanted to ask because I wasn’t sure that I really wanted to know the answer. Though at the same time, I knew I had to hear it.
"Gavin? When you leave my apartment...whether that's five minutes from now, or after breakfast tomorrow morning, or even much later than that...when you leave, are you going to come back?"
"I'm going to come back."
“Please promise me that.”
He didn’t even hesitate. “I promise you that. I’ll come back.”
*
Gavin never did come back.
When I awoke the next morning, I was alone in bed. Gavin wasn’t in the bathroom, or out in the kitchen, or anywhere else in my apartment. His truck wasn’t in the parking lot. He was just gone. I couldn’t find a note anywhere, and there were no messages on my phone. Not surprising, since I realized we hadn’t even exchanged phone numbers. We hadn’t even exchanged last names.