"What happened after Beltor found you?"
"He took me home," she said. "I didn't know that I was not his child. His wife had brown eyes and hair, so most assumed I got my features from her." She leaned back in the simple chair and sighed.
"When did he tell you?"
"My ears gave it away. I was ten years old and started puberty, which could have been what triggered the changes. I was afraid that an evil Spirit possessed me. I had always been stronger and smarter than the boys my age. I used to beat the shit out of Runir all the time." She chuckled lightly and I couldn't help but join her. "I never believed it was odd until my ears got longer. He had to tell me. For a while I thought the truth was much worse than anything I imagined. The books we owned said that the Ancients had features that seemed to match mine. We guessed I must have been a mix of some sort." She smiled slightly at me. "But I came here to talk about your memories and to get you to stay in the camp. Earlier you said that the O'Baarni wasn't the name of your leader?" She leaned toward me in her chair.
"No."
"So you weren't a general in this army that defeated the Anci- Elvens?" Her brow knitted in a mixture of disappointment and confusion.
"I was the leader of the O'Baarni. We were over two hundred and eighty thousand strong when it came time for the final battle against our enslavers. We had so many troops that I couldn't field them all on the field of war. I would boast that it was probably the most powerful army to ever be created, but I don't know my history that well. Each soldier was changed by the Elements, like you are now. I hand groomed five generals to manage the training, logistics, and strategy. They were five of my best friends. It took me thirty-two years to build the army with them, and we endured hardship and struggles that I don't want to remember anymore. During the last battle, I would estimate that at least one hundred thousand of my warriors died." Her eyes grew wide as I spoke.
"The Elvens had struck an agreement with a family of dragons. We narrowly managed to beat them. But it was nearly the end of everything. I lived through the fire but my hand," I lifted my left hand to show her the deep scar marks. "Bore some wounds."
She stared at me for a few moments and I tried to figure out what she must have been thinking. Finally, she spoke.
"What else?"
"Huh?"
"If what you are saying is true, Kaiyer.” She scooted to the edge of her chair and grasped my scarred hand in both of hers. Her touch felt electrifying. "Then I am not understanding why your place wouldn't be here with me. If you created this powerful army to defeat the Elvens once, you can do it again. You can drive them from our home, out of this world, and back to whatever hell they came from. Yet, you think you should be going to save my father, Jessmei, Greykin, and the queen. There must be more to the story.” She grinned and turned her head sideways a bit. It reminded me of Shlara again and I needed to close my eyes and pull my hand away from her.
"During my imprisonment in the castle, Isslata was my main source of contact. It frustrated her that I said my name was Kaiyer and she refused to call me by that name. Apparently, that word is cursed by the Elven people. I am known as ‘the Destroyer' to them, and they never say my real name. I am more of a legend, since this battle happened so long ago that the Elvens don't really care to remember the conflict. Isslata thought it was around five thousand years ago."
"That can't be possible," Nadea said defensively. "I am having problems believing that you spent even thirty-two years building an army. You look like you are hardly twenty winters old." She smirked playfully and somehow our hands found each other's again. Her fingers entwined with mine so I couldn't pull away easily. They were warm and smooth.
"I thought the same thing as well. But she also said that the humans called me 'the Betrayer.’ From what I have recalled, I believe what she told me."
"Why would they call you the Betrayer? Didn't you free them from slavery? From what you are telling me, you should be our greatest hero and remembered and revered for those five thousand years." She shook her head.
"I did wake up from imprisonment, remember?"
"Of course. But it couldn't be because you destroyed the Elvens. Maybe you were imprisoned by the Elvens?"
"There was a letter etched into the dais. It was from one of my generals named Malek." I started to feel nervous about telling Nadea of what I had done. It was so long ago, but I still felt the fresh shame and heartache. She looked at me with such adoration, I did not want to change the way she felt about me. I did not want her to look at me the way Shlara had.
"I recall that as well. Back when we first brought you to the castle, you couldn’t remember what happened."
"I remember now. I betrayed my people. I committed a horrible crime that my friends could never forgive. I tried to escape, but they eventually found me. They may have taken pity on me, or maybe they found it too difficult to kill me, either way, I was sent to your world as a prison sentence."
"What did you do?" Her eyes filled with empathy and she squeezed my hand.
"I murdered one of my generals," I said, and she winced slightly.
"He must have deserved it. Kaiyer, you are a good person. You are a hero. You have done everything within your power to help our kingdom. You saved us from the Vanlourn soldiers, you prevented assassins from taking Jessmei at the inn, and then you chased down the Elvens who kidnapped her and saved her life. During the banquet, you defeated those four Elvens who made demands of the king. You have done nothing but help us. You must have had a good reason." She smiled at me reassuringly and her hand squeezed mine again.
"Thank you." I returned her smile. "What you said helps me." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before continuing. I wondered for a second how I would feel talking to someone else about Shlara's death.
"Shlara was my best general and friend. When I remember her, I can't help but think of you." My voice cracked a little and I felt a lump form in my throat. I swallowed and choked it down to my stomach.
"Me?" Nadea puzzled.
"She looked like you. Beautiful, athletic, brown hair, and eyes that flashed dangerously when I made her mad, which was often. But her personality reminds me of you as well. She was driven. She knew what she wanted and worked tirelessly to achieve her goals. Shlara never made excuses or failed. She was a logistical and tactical genius. She made changes to my army that improved our performance dramatically. The woman was the best warrior in our army. No one could beat her during a sparring match. All of my generals were amazing warriors and tacticians who had my respect, but she was a cut above the rest. She was the type of woman that only comes into existence once in a dozen lifetimes." Nadea's face was a mixture of confused emotions. I saw her cheeks flush slightly and heard her heart beat quickly.
"She loved me." I felt warmth on my cheeks and realized I was crying. "I loved her too."
Silence fell between us. I closed my eyes and tried not to remember her death. Instead, I remembered everything I had ever thought was amazing about her.
This was probably more painful.
The silence stretched into minutes until Nadea spoke.
"Why did you kill her?" she whispered. I looked away from her and down at our entwined fingers.
"I was horrible to Shlara. She told me what she felt for me almost daily; she wanted to be my lover and to bear my children. I refused her. I told her I didn't want to give her special treatment, I told her I didn't want to focus on anything other than our war, I gave her dozens of different excuses. She was persistent though, and kept pushing me until I finally agreed to give her what she desired once the war was won. Sometimes I think about her and I wonder if she only wanted to destroy the Elvens because she thought this would earn my love." I paused and then let my fingers slip through Nadea's before continuing. Her face was shocked and still confused.
"Why didn't you want to be with her? From how you describe her, she was amazing," Nadea asked hesitantly.
"Let me go back to earlier," I said with a small smile and
she nodded in agreement.
"We were slaves to the Elvens; that much I told you. My life wasn't as difficult as others. My father was a trained blacksmith and he instructed my brother and me in the trade. We could have been out in the fields or servicing our masters in their homes directly. Either option was less appealing because we would have more interaction with them. More interaction meant it was more likely I would be killed or beaten." I looked to her face and she nodded in understanding.
"The Elvens lived in groups of extended families. They would own pieces of land where they would farm and raise cattle. They would also trade goods and services with nearby families. I'm not sure exactly how their leadership was implemented; at least, I don't have a clear memory of it now. I think a group of elders led the family. The head elder wasn't quite a king. Paug gave me definitions for various leaders in your language. I think the closest one that fits is chieftain." Nadea nodded again. Darkness had fallen completely now and it would have been impossible for us to see each other if we were mere humans.
"My father and brother were skilled and worked directly with the chieftain's closest family. There were only a dozen or so horses in the stable, but it kept me busy for most of the day." I chuckled suddenly with a realization. "Maybe we did have the most perilous job of all the humans. I don't recall ever seeing the chieftain, or even the elders, but their children used the stables often." Nadea returned my smile and leaned forward.
"The chieftain's eldest daughter was the most dangerous. I didn't know much about her, but the other slaves would warn me not to cross her. There were tales about her endless cruelty. She apparently murdered humans daily for pleasure; she even killed her own kind for displeasing her. Rumor said that her father couldn't even control her and she was the true ruler of their tribe. She was powerful and vicious and everyone feared her. I didn't know how many of the stories were true, but there are normally some grains of truth in those tales."
"She would come to the stable?" Nadea asked with concern. I nodded.
"She seemed to enjoy riding and would visit three or four times a week. She would bring an entourage of trainers, or the children of the other elders with her. I was always afraid of them, but she seemed to wear terror around her shoulders like a cloak. Even the other Elvens who accompanied her seemed to fear her. Once, a spirited horse threw her off her saddle. She promptly ripped its legs off and then left it to die on the track outside the stables. I had never really seen an Elven do anything violent; I was afraid of them because humans are supposed to fear them, but when I saw her do that I felt real terror."
"She sounds insane. What a horrible life. I'm sorry, Kaiyer." Nadea reached out to me again and clasped our hands together.
"When she came into the stables I tried to avoid her notice. I thought that if I did a really excellent job keeping the stables clean, and if I always had her horse ready for her, she wouldn't want to murder me. It was a ridiculous belief. Horses were worth much more than humans, and she only rode the nicest in our stable. If she could kill a horse with so little thought, with such brutality, I knew that she would do the same to me if I ever upset her. But it was the only hope I had. The only power. If I was perfect, if I pleased her, it was at least possible that I could escape her wrath." Nadea shook her head and looked at me in understanding.
"I did catch her notice though. She began to come into the stables more. Almost every day, sometimes she would visit twice. She started to stare at me when I prepared her horse, or when I did my chores around her friends. Normally, the Elvens would only speak to me when they needed their horse, but they would never pay attention to me.
“One day, she dismissed her riding coaches and we were alone in the stables. I tried to concentrate on my work and avoid looking at her, but she watched me for what felt like an eternity. I expected to die that day, but instead of killing me, she asked me what my name was." I smiled sadly at Nadea.
"Then what happened?"
"I told her. A few days later, we became lovers. I had never been with a woman. She showed me what I needed to do to please her. I never understood what her motivation was, but I often wondered why she took a human as a lover. She was beautiful, and from what information I gathered, she had many suitors from different Elven families vying for her."
"You are quite handsome, Kaiyer," Nadea breathed. "It is hard to resist your charms. If anyone could seduce a ruler's daughter, it would be you."
"I think part of me foresaw that she would kill me one day. There was no other way for it to end. There was no way we could be together."
"Did you speak about any of this with her? Did she tell you she would protect you or keep you safe?" Nadea asked.
"No. I was too afraid to hear what her answer would be. I also feared that it would push us faster toward whatever end she had in store for me."
"So you were trapped. You must have been terrified."
"Don't feel too sorry for me, Nadea." I smiled at her. "She was beautiful, even for an Elven. I had never experienced sex, so I enjoyed myself. This sounds twisted, fucking crazy, but I came to love her. I wanted to be with her, and even though I knew our relationship would eventually kill me. I didn't care, I just wanted to share myself with her."
"Was it just carnal then? Did you and this woman have a relationship beyond just sex?" Nadea stood up and let go of my fingers. Then she walked over to the head of my cot and sat next to me on the bed. The right side of her body touched mine and she took my scarred hand in her own.
"No. I wish I could say it was, but we had conversations as well. I think we went horseback riding a few times. Or at least, she promised that she would take me, since humans were not allowed to ride horses. I have not remembered everything yet. She would mostly ask about my life and responsibilities around the stable. I know I tried to find out more about her, but she was always elusive." I looked from our entwined fingers to Nadea's face. We sat close enough for me to feel her warm breath on my cheeks. "I loved her for the wrong reasons. But I still loved her."
"More than Shlara?" Nadea asked with concern.
"In some ways. Yes." Nadea didn't look happy with the answer, but I continued.
"I don't know for sure how long we were lovers, but the affair ended suddenly. One day I needed my brother's help with a new horse. He assisted with the shoeing and broke a tool. My father was working in the smithy next to the stable, so I walked over to get a new tool."
"When I came out of the stable, I saw a large group of Elvens coming down the hillside to the stable. The chieftains' daughter was at the head of the group. I ducked back into the smithy and hid with my father. The Elven men ran into the stable and exited with my brother. She started to strangle him and my father ran out with his hammer to save his son."
"Fuck," Nadea said in disbelief.
"Her suitors butchered him as she finished choking my brother. I ran to their sides. I was going to pick up the hammer and try to kill her, but I really just wanted to die with them. My brother and father were all the family I had."
"Why didn't they kill you?"
“There was a rumor of her being with a stable boy. She came to the stables that day to prove it false. When they found my brother there, they assumed he was the stable boy in question and she killed him to show how little she cared. That the idea disgusted her because she, like all of them, had so little regard for humans. We were animals to them. When they asked her what to do with me, she told them to take me to their human army for training. I remember the way she looked at me, like I meant nothing to her. She regarded me with as much concern as the horse she had brutalized. I hated her then. I hated her for murdering my family, and for pretending to love me when she did not.”
"Fucking bitch," Nadea spat and then stood. She paced around the tent for a few steps but there was not much room to walk. "How could she do that to you? I want to scream. You have so much reason to hate them, especially her."
"I do hate them. You know how I feel about them." She nodded and then sat down on
the chair across from me. "I think she may have saved my life. At least, she explained to me later that she had little choice and she regretted her decisions." I remembered the conversation Iolarathe and I had on the battlefield before our last struggle.
"You spoke to her again?"
"Yes. I wanted revenge. Her people had been experimenting with humans as warriors as a way to fight for more territory without risking their own lives. Elvens are so much stronger and quicker than humans, it did not work. But her tribe had been changing us with the Elements. It was a messy process. Most did not survive. But my anger gave me strength and I lived through the change.”
"Did she visit you during this change?" Nadea's voice was angry.
"No. I didn't see her for a long time. Until the day of our last battle." Her face looked shocked, but I didn't want to change the pace of my recollection. So I continued speaking. "They eventually had around fifty of us in their small army. They began to train us in the art of warfare and combat. It was a mistake. Eventually I led a group of us in revolt. We killed the trainers and escaped into a nearby river with canoes we crafted. They tried to come after us, but we eluded them multiple times." I paused again and wished I had some water.
"Then you created the army?" Nadea nodded while she asked.
"Yes. I had a mentor. I can tell you about him another time. We learned how to harness our powers beyond our bodies, how to fight, and we freed other humans. Eventually we grew in size, won victories, and made dents in the Elven population. I don't think they took us seriously until it was too late and we had already gained too much power. Toward the end of our struggle, the Elvens finally seemed to get organized. They started using larger scale tactics, they did break offs, feints, used territory, and they managed to win a few of the smaller battles that Shlara and I did not plan. In the end though, we had their entire army out positioned, and it came down to one final battle."
The Destroyer Book 3 Page 9