“Thank you, Ali. I appreciate your staying. And I mean it about making it worth your while. I’ll get Maeve, my P.A., to send someone from our office to help Deb out. I assume she’ll need someone who can answer calls, take messages and do a bit of filing. Take care of the grunt work while she attends to the more important things?”
Ali grasped hold of his offer and went with it. “Yes, that would be fine. It’ll only be for a couple of days, after all.”
“I think I know just the person. She’s not an office junior—far from it. In fact she’s probably one of our most senior staff members, in terms of age and office experience. She’ll be an excellent asset in assisting Deb.”
“She sounds perfect,” Ali replied woodenly.
And it should be great, except it meant she had no excuse to leave Ronin’s home. Deb had already been to her apartment and packed enough clothing for her when Ronin had first gone overseas. She could claim she needed to run by her apartment and pick up some more things, but it would just be an excuse to give herself a little time away. She’d made the commitment to stay, and now she had to stick to it.
She looked at the man and the child only a meter in front of her and felt a physical ache deep inside her chest. It would be all too easy to just let go of that hard-earned control. To allow herself to follow where her instincts were trying so hard to lead. But it wouldn’t end well. She might be able to keep them for a little while, but it wouldn’t last for long. She was damaged goods. Richard had made that patently clear.
“Can I give you Joshua so I can call Maeve right away?”
Ali cast an eye over the baby, who appeared to have dozed off in his uncle’s arms.
“Actually, now would be a good time to learn how to swaddle him and put him back down in his bassinet.”
“Swaddle him? Sounds difficult.”
She’d thought the same when she’d discovered Joshua would keep startling and waking himself in the night. Exhausted after two nights and two very full days of unsettled baby, she’d eventually called her mother for a suggestion on what to do. Her mum had described the way she’d wrapped and put her own babies to sleep. She’d ended with, “Don’t you remember? Each of your sisters did the same with theirs, too.”
She did remember and had kicked herself for not thinking of it. Her first attempts had been abysmal, but by the end of her third day she’d had it down pat.
“Bring him over here,” she said to Ronin, who followed her to the bassinet. “I’ve used squares of muslin because they’re what my sisters used and because his bed covers are warm enough and I don’t want him to get overheated. I’ll order some fitted wraps, though. They’re a lot simpler to use.”
She put down the fabric and told Ronin to put Joshua in the middle. Then she folded the bottom flap up and the edges over, wrapping him until he was secure.
“See?” she said. “It’s quite straightforward.”
“You’re a natural,” Ronin replied. “Have you never thought about having a child of your own?”
Ali closed her eyes briefly and swallowed. Only every single day of my life until about five years ago, she thought to herself. Ignoring his question, she unwrapped the baby and stepped back from the bassinet.
“It’ll come easily to you, too, once you get in a bit of practice. There, you have a go,” she encouraged.
He did as she had demonstrated. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a whole lot better than her first attempts.
“Looks like you’re a natural yourself,” she said with a forced smile. “Now leave him on his back and tuck his covers around him. He’ll be okay for hopefully the next couple of hours.”
“That’s it? That’s all he does? Eat and sleep?”
“And poop, but that’s a lesson for another time.” Her smile was more relaxed this time.
“Shouldn’t he be upstairs in his nursery, where it’s quiet?”
“It’s probably a good idea for him to learn to sleep in any environment. You’re not always going to be able to ensure perfect sleeping conditions for him while you’re out or visiting your parents.”
“Good point,” Ronin said, eyeing the wee bundle in the white cane bassinet. “I had no idea it would be like this. The responsibility, I mean. How can I be sure that I’m going to make the right decisions for him?”
His honesty struck a chord with her. On a smaller scale she’d felt like that from the moment she’d realized she was solely responsible for the baby’s care until Ronin’s return. “You just have to trust yourself. The way your sister and her husband trusted you when they named you Joshie’s guardian.”
And, she realized, she had to trust herself, too. Trust herself not to let her guard down and open her heart any further to the man and the child before her.
* * *
Ronin woke with a start as the sound of Joshua’s cry disturbed his slumber—again. For a second he was disoriented, the night-shaded surrounding of his master bedroom momentarily unfamiliar to him. But then it all came crashing back, and he got to his feet, his bleary eyes registering the time—four thirty-two a.m.—on the bedside clock before he stumbled toward the nursery. He’d assured Ali he could cope with the night-time feeds and that she was to get a decent night’s sleep but he’d had no idea just how fractured that would leave him. He rubbed his face wearily. He usually coped well on little sleep. It must be the jet lag catching up with him.
Ali’s soothing voice came through the open nursery door as he approached.
“Hey,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for him to wake you.”
“It’s okay,” she said, turning to him with a smile, the baby squalling in her arms. “I was already awake.”
His eyes raked over her. Her tumbled dark curls, the faint crease on her cheek that must have come from her pillow. The shadows of her curves beneath her nightgown. His body reacted without a second thought, his senses coming to swift attention even as his ears continued to be filled with the baby’s cries. This situation shouldn’t be having this effect on him, he told himself, and yet he could barely tear his eyes from Ali.
He realized he was staring and forced himself to move. “Let me get his bottle, and then you can go back to bed.”
His tongue thickened on the words. Back to bed. Three simple words and yet they opened a floodgate on his memories, filling his mind with images of what they’d shared. Of what he wanted to share with her again.
“Thanks,” Ali said, turning to change Joshua’s diaper.
He forced his feet in the direction of the kitchenette that formed part of the nanny suite. Forced his mind back to more mundane things. When he returned with the bottle she was settling into the rocking chair with the baby in her arms. The soft glow of the night-light bathed her in a golden wash of color. There was nothing mundane about Alison Carter in a nightgown. Nothing at all.
“I’ll take him,” he offered.
“It’s okay. This shouldn’t take too long. Besides, you look dead on your feet.”
He handed her the bottle and leaned in the doorjamb watching as she fed his little nephew. Once Joshua was done, she wrapped him and put him back in his bassinette.
“You could have gone back to bed,” she said gently as she closed the nursery door behind them.
“I was up, too.”
She looked up at him, and her breath seemed to catch in her throat at what he knew was reflected in his eyes. Hunger. Desire. Need. Ali took a step away from him, and then another.
“I’ll...um...I’ll see you later in the morning, then,” she said, turning away from him and back toward the nanny suite.
“Yeah, later.”
He watched her go, tamping down the little voice in the back of his mind that urged him to follow her. To reach out and turn her to face him. To draw her into his arms and against his aching body and to do
with her all the things his flesh clamored for.
“Ali?”
She hesitated a step, and then stopped.
“Yes?”
Words froze on the tip of his tongue.
“Ronin? Are you okay?”
No, he wasn’t okay. He was jet-lagged and he was still staggering under the weight of his responsibilities—both old and new. He wanted more than anything in the world to lose himself in the oblivion he knew he’d find in her arms. But he knew he’d scare her away for good if he pressed her now.
“I’m glad you’re here. Sweet dreams.”
“Sweet dreams?” she answered, a quizzical look lifting one brow.
“Yeah.”
Walk back to me, he silently begged her. Instead she gave him a sweet smile.
“You, too.”
He stood there until he heard her bedroom door close, until he knew for certain that she wasn’t going to change her mind and come to him. He returned to the master suite and threw himself down on his bed, his mind and his body too alert now for sleep to come back easily. She was resisting the attraction between them, but she felt it as strongly as he did. He knew it as well as he knew the stubbled reflection that greeted him in the bathroom mirror every morning. It didn’t make sense. He thought back to the instant sizzle of awareness that had struck them back in Hawaii and how quickly they’d both given in to it.
The sizzle was still very definitely there, but she was fighting it. Was it because he now came with a child as part of the package, or was there something else that was holding her back? He didn’t know right now but his specialty was solving puzzles. It would only be a matter of time before he solved hers, he promised himself as he rolled over onto his side and forced his eyes closed.
* * *
It was harder than she’d expected to fight the allure of the two males under the same roof as her over the next two days. There was something about seeing Ronin with his nephew that plucked at her emotions until her attraction to him was near impossible to resist. Whether it was watching him bathe the baby, or use his large hands to scoop the wriggling wee tadpole from the bathwater and gently towel him dry, she couldn’t help but be mesmerized.
She shifted a little in Ronin’s chair and tried to focus on her laptop screen. He’d suggested she work in his office so she’d be less likely to be interrupted, but the entire time she was in there all she could think about was him. His office held an eclectic collection of things that reflected the type of man he was. A scale suspension bridge filled a table to one side of the desk—apparently a replica of a job in South America his firm was consulting on at the moment. When she’d asked if he needed to go there like he had to Vietnam recently, he’d shaken his head and informed her he didn’t plan to do any overseas travel for at least the next six months.
His words had surprised her. From what she’d been able to glean so far, a big part of his work had included overseas travel, but now he seemed to have changed all that. The fact he was taking his duty to Joshua so seriously was just another facet to him that warmed her in places that had no business being warmed. Not when she was going to be leaving here, leaving them, first thing on Monday morning.
She thought about the past two days sharing the baby’s care. They had fallen into an all-too-comfortable routine. Ronin would get up with the baby in the morning and leave her to catch up on email and make all necessary calls. By the time she was done, the baby was usually waking from his morning sleep and ready for another bottle. Now Joshie was getting the hang of things, he was turning into a voracious feeder—a fact which caused an equally vigorous output in other areas, which had horrified Ronin to no end. The rest of the day they shared his care around their own work commitments and even enjoyed some time with the three of them together.
For Ronin it had been simple—he’d delegated all but the most urgent of matters to his team. Even for Ali things had gone more smoothly than she’d imagined. In fact, Deb had even asked if they could keep the woman she referred to in her daily updates as Mrs. Fix-It.
When all was said and done, though, Ronin was coping well and, with the news that his mother would be released from hospital over the weekend, things were definitely improving. The agency had confirmed the nanny roster would begin, as originally planned, from Monday. Only two more nights, Ali assured herself, and she’d be able to get her life back on track. In fact, there really was no reason for her to continue to stay through to Monday. Ronin had slid into the role of Joshua’s carer so competently he really didn’t need her any more. Maybe she should talk to him about that, she mused, before dragging her attention back to her computer screen.
She hit Send on the email she’d just written to a new client and leaned back in her chair. Technically she shouldn’t even be working on a Saturday. She looked outside. It was raining. It wasn’t as if there was any motivation to head out for a brisk walk, which was a shame since she’d been neglecting her usual daily exercise while she’d been here. Maybe she’d ask Ronin if she could use his gym for an hour or so.
The door behind her opened.
“Coffee?” Ronin asked from behind her.
Ali could smell the brew and she swiveled the chair around to face him.
“Thank you.”
She took the mug he offered, their fingers brushing as she did so. It didn’t matter how often they touched, or how accidentally—the result was always the same. Her heart rate would speed up, her breath would quicken and the spot where they’d connected would tingle for a few seconds. It was growing harder and harder to resist him. Even her nights were filled with dreams about what they’d shared back in Hawaii. She’d lost count of the number of times she’d woken, her heart pounding and her body straining for a release that never came.
“Joshie’s gone down for a sleep,” he said, hitching his butt against the edge of the desk beside her.
The heat from his body reached out to her, filling the space between them. Enticing her. Daring her to move closer. Ali stood—or, more accurately, sat—her ground.
“That’s early,” she commented, before taking a long sip from the steaming mug warming her hands.
With the rain had come a bitter southerly wind, and temperatures had definitely dropped.
“Yeah, maybe it’s the weather.”
“Speaking of the weather, I had planned to go for a jog today, but with the rain, that’s not going to happen. I was wondering if I could use your gym for a while.”
“Of course. You don’t need to ask. You have the run of the place.”
“Great. It’s just down the end of this hall, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, let me show you,” he said, putting his coffee mug down on the desk and heading for the door.
She followed him out of the office and down the hall. He opened the door to usher her into his multi-gym, complete with a leg press, a stand stacked with free weights, a treadmill and an elliptical trainer, all of which showed he was serious about fitness. Not that she didn’t know that already. She’d examined almost every inch of his well-sculpted form once before. A girl didn’t forget details like that.
“Are you familiar with all of this?” he asked.
“Most of it,” she said, dragging her attention back to his question, “although I’ll probably just use the treadmill for half an hour or so. It’s been a while since I’ve done any proper exercise.”
“Use whatever you want,” he offered.
“Great, thanks. I’ll go get changed.”
It only took a few minutes to slip into her running gear and then she was back in the gym. To her surprise, Ronin had changed into a loose-fitting singlet and shorts, and was shifting an impressive set of weights on the leg press.
“I thought I’d follow your example and grab some exercise while I can,” he said as she crossed the room to the treadmill. “I’ve brought the
monitor in here with us.”
“Oh, good idea,” she said.
Her eyes danced over the muscles in his long legs as he worked through a series of repetitions. She flung him a distracted smile before mounting the treadmill and adjusting the settings to start a slow, steady run. She began to pound out the kilometers, trying to keep her gaze averted as Ronin went through a routine of weight training and exercises. But it was impossible to ignore the power in his shoulders as he did a set of lateral pull-downs. Power she’d felt beneath her fingertips.
A buzz started up in her body that had nothing to do with the endorphins that should be starting to build up about now. She forced her eyes away from him again and focused on her breathing. When that didn’t work she increased the incline on the treadmill. Anything that would keep her attention on herself and away from the man working out only a couple of meters away from her.
A trickle of sweat worked its way down her spine, heightening her sensitivity. Still she pushed herself. Still to no avail. Ronin had moved to lay down on the bench press, his legs straddling the bench as he reached for the bar. Unbidden, an image of her straddling him, right here, right now, burned across her retinas.
A shaft of longing pierced her, so sharp and so swift she stumbled a little on the treadmill mat.
“You okay?” Ronin asked.
“Sure, I’m fine,” she said breathlessly. “Just a bit out of condition.”
“You look pretty fine from where I am,” he teased with a smile.
She was anything but fine. Every cell in her body cried out for her to act on her fantasy. For her to strip herself of the tight-fitting Lycra top she wore and to press her heated skin against his. She pushed against the rise of desire that swelled through her, but it pushed back twice as hard.
This was hopeless. She’d have been better off running outside in the driving rain and chilling wind. She lowered the incline a notch and dialed back the speed a little. The sooner this was over the sooner she could get out of the room and head for a shower. A very cold one. By the time her half hour was up her legs felt like jelly, and it had nothing whatsoever to do with the run she’d just completed. Ronin, having finished his set, sat up to wipe his face with a towel. Sweat soaked his singlet, making it cling to the sculpted contours of his body.
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