In her family’s view, Rivers ironically suffered from substandard care because of her fame. “The lawsuit says that Ms. Rivers was in part a victim of her own celebrity, receiving treatment that violated protocol because her doctors were starstruck and trying to please her,” The New York Times said. “Dr. Korovin, an ear, nose, and throat doctor to a number of well-known actors and singers, was Ms. Rivers’s personal physician, and did not have privileges at the clinic. But Dr. Cohen, the medical director, allowed her in, Mr. Bloom, the lawyer, said on Monday. The court papers say Dr. Korovin fled the clinic when it became clear that Ms. Rivers was in trouble because she knew she was not supposed to be there, and ‘wanted to avoid getting caught.’”
“‘Joan Rivers needed a doctor, not a groupie,’ Mr. Bloom said.”
Melissa Rivers characterized the behavior of everyone concerned as inexcusable. “The level of medical mismanagement, incompetency, disrespect, and outrageous behavior is shocking and, frankly, almost incomprehensible,” she told the Associated Press.
In response to the suit, Dr. Bankulla filed papers saying that she had taken every lifesaving measure at her disposal, that a crash cart was available, and that Rivers “was being adequately oxygenated with mask ventilation.”
When Joan was first hospitalized, her medical emergency instantly became big news, but the dire nature of her condition was not made public. Informed of what had happened at the clinic, Melissa and Cooper immediately took a morning flight from Los Angeles to New York, arriving at Mount Sinai Hospital at around 8 p.m. Joan was already receiving messages of love and support from her admirers. “Get well my friend,” Kathy Griffin tweeted.
“I’m thinking about you and sending lots of love your way,” Ellen DeGeneres tweeted.
Later that night, Melissa released a statement that said, “I want to thank everyone for the overwhelming love and support for my mother. She is resting comfortably and is with our family. We ask that you continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers.”
When Joan’s condition was upgraded from critical to stable, her intimates were briefly hopeful. “In the beginning, we thought maybe there was a chance,” said Margie Stern, who rushed to the hospital as soon as she heard about the situation. “They put her into this deep coma, but I thought she would wake up. I was optimistic.”
Over the next few days, the information given to the public seemed confusing. “My mother would be so touched by the tributes and prayers that we have received from around the world,” Melissa said in a statement released on Friday, the day after Joan went into the coma. “Her condition remains serious but she is receiving the best treatment and care possible. We ask that you continue to keep her in your thoughts as we pray for her recovery.”
On Saturday, TMZ reported that Rivers was on life support.
On Sunday, August 31, Melissa issued a statement saying that her mother remained in serious condition, but “our fingers are crossed.”
By September 1, the Monday of the Labor Day holiday weekend, some news outlets were reporting that doctors had started to bring Rivers out of her medically induced coma. “The waking-up process has begun and will take until Tuesday,” one source told the Daily News. “There is real concern that the part of the brain that controls motor skills may have been compromised, leaving her as either a vegetable or in a wheelchair.”
Reports the next day painted a very different picture. On Tuesday, September 2, E! said that a source “close to the situation” had described Joan as “making small but positive steps.”
“She’s getting better,” E! claimed, citing the same source. But Melissa released a qualifying statement, saying, “At this time she does remain on life support.”
The following day, Melissa issued another statement: “My mother has been moved out of intensive care and into a private room where she is being kept comfortable. Thank you for your continued support.”
Although many people suspected that Joan was brain-dead, the heartbroken vigil at her hospital bedside became increasingly theatrical. Joan was moved to a larger suite that was “decorated by celebrity wedding planner Preston Bailey with flowers, bows, plants,” according to Cindy Adams of the New York Post. As Joan lay in bed covered by a white faux mink blanket, Melissa had her mother’s hair and makeup done while a CD of Oklahoma! played in the room.
“It was just surreal,” said Sue Cameron. “Joan was wearing a pink and gold caftan, and she looked gorgeous. She looked like she was ready to get up and go on in Vegas.”
QVC’s Michael George was surprised and touched when Melissa included him in the select group of friends and associates who were summoned to say a personal good-bye at the hospital. “I was honored and sad when the family invited me to be at her bedside, and it was a very moving moment for me,” George said. “I felt I was there on behalf of the QVC family, so we could say our farewells. It really meant a lot to me.”
Those who were invited felt grateful to Melissa for her inclusiveness. “She could have gone in the other direction and said, ‘Fuck all of you, I’ve had to share my mother with you my whole life,’ but she continued to share her mother with us,” said Andrew Krasny, who joined the inner circle at the hospital. “To me, that’s the most generous thing Melissa has ever done.”
But on September 4, Melissa made the heartbreaking decision to take Joan off life support. “I made sure she was in no pain and surrounded by those that she loved and loved her the most,” said Melissa, who climbed into bed with her mother before Rivers passed away.
Martyn Fletcher was among the close friends in the room when Joan died. “What I found so moving was that there was such love that surrounded her,” he said. “Everyone in that room absolutely adored her. It would be lovely to think that she knew. It was such a defining moment.”
Melissa released a statement bearing the news: “It is with great sadness that I announce the death of my mother. She passed peacefully at 1:17 p.m. surrounded by family and close friends. My son and I would like to thank the doctors, nurses, and staff of Mount Sinai Hospital for the amazing care they provided for my mother. Cooper and I have found ourselves humbled by the outpouring of love, support, and prayers we have received from around the world. They have been heard and appreciated. My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon.”
Rivers’s death inspired an avalanche of reactions from around the world, but it also provoked some unsettling thoughts about cosmic justice. Margie Stern couldn’t help but remember Rivers’s glee in making fun of Gwen Korovin’s toe with her cardboard fake toe sight gag. Joe Franklin, the former radio and television host, recalled a different joke.
“When Julie Andrews had a problem with her vocal cords, Joan did a vicious attack in her nightclub act, and made all kinds of funny voices,” Franklin recalled. “I said to her, ‘Joan, you’re pretty severe.’ The funny thing was that she had her own vocal cord problems. Talk about karma!”
Rivers’s funeral was held on September 7 at New York’s Temple Emanu-El, the largest Jewish house of worship in the world. Known for its wealthy, powerful congregation, the temple is located at 65th Street and Fifth Avenue, three blocks from Rivers’s apartment. Stately and vast, it seats twenty-five-hundred people—more than the august Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, fifteen blocks south on Fifth Avenue.
For Melissa, the job of organizing an appropriate farewell was a colossal task, but her mother had already made many of her wishes abundantly clear. In her 2012 book, I Hate Everyone…Starting with Me, Rivers applied show business standards even to the challenges posed by death.
Rivers disapproved of anyone who shortchanged the dramatic potential of their demise. “I hate people who die of natural causes; they just don’t understand the moment,” she said. “It’s the grand finale, act III, the eleven o’clock number—make it count. If you’re going to die, die interesting! Is there anything worse than a boring death?
I think not. When my time comes I’m going to go out in high style. I have no intention of being sick or lingering or dragging on and on and boring everyone I know. I have no intention of coughing and wheezing for months on end. One morning you’ll wake up and read a headline: ‘Joan Rivers Found Dead…on George Clooney’s Face. Clooney Was So Bereft All He Could Say Was, “Xjfhfyrnem.”’”
Rivers regarded death notices as a lively source of entertainment. “I love the obituaries,” she wrote. “To me, obituaries are just wedding announcements without the pictures. I read the obituaries carefully, the way Lindsay Lohan reads her Miranda rights.”
Rivers was equally enthusiastic about funerals, which she saw as a fashion opportunity. “I love funerals!” she said. “To me a funeral is just a red-carpet show for dead people. It’s a chance for mourners from all walks of life to accessorize basic black, and to make a fashion statement that is bold enough to draw attention away from the bereaved but subtle enough so that no one knows that it’s happening. And it’s a great way to have quiet fun.”
But she envisioned her own send-off as anything but quiet. “When I die (and, yes, Melissa, that day will come; and, yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action,” she said. “I want Craft Services, I want paparazzi, and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s.”
Rivers also advised skipping the usual platitudes. “I hate people who try to make you feel better,” she said. “Like the neighbor who says, ‘Don’t forget, the first part of “funeral” is “fun!”’ Or the minister who says, ‘He’s in a better place now.’ I’m tempted to yell out, ‘No he’s not. He had a house in the Hamptons. What’s wrong with you?’”
She even provided a sex tip for seniors about the social opportunities created by an opportune death. “As I get older, I’m going to a lot more funerals, and let me tell you something, it’s a great pickup scene,” she said. “A graveside funeral is live eHarmony for the bereaved.”
As for her own funeral, Rivers made some specific demands that included a list of those who should not be invited: Michelle Obama, whom she had called a “tranny”; Adele, whom she referred to as “fat”; and Chelsea Handler, whom she described as a “drunk” and a “whore.” Handler spent several years in a romantic relationship with Ted Harbert, the CEO of Comcast Entertainment Group, which oversaw E! Entertainment Television, the home of Handler’s show, Chelsea Lately—and Rivers never let her forget it. “The girl made it on her back fucking the president,” she said.
But the list of those who did get invited to Rivers’s funeral was long and stellar. It included Donald and Melania Trump, Barbara Walters, Kathy Griffin, Hoda Kotb, Kathie Lee Gifford, John Waters, Joy Behar, Sally Jessy Raphael, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Alan Cumming, Kristin Chenoweth, Cindy Adams, Chuck Scarborough, Bernadette Peters, Robin Quivers, Diane Sawyer, Geraldo Rivera, Steve Forbes, Michael Kors, Carolina Herrera, Rachael Ray, Judge Judy Sheindlin, Billy Bush, Rosie O’Donnell, Whoopi Goldberg, record producer Clive Davis, Tommy Tune, fashion designer Dennis Basso, television bandleader Paul Shaffer, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Andy Cohen, Barry Diller, and Rivers’s Fashion Police panelists Kelly Osbourne, Giuliana Rancic, and George Kotsiopoulos.
The guests included personal friends as well as bold-faced names. “There were dozens of QVC people there, from hosts to crew members—a great cross section of people,” said Michael George. “It was quite unlike any funeral I’ve ever been to, but it was just an amazing event, to spend an hour or two laughing nonstop. It was just what she would have wanted. It was so true to what she was.”
Arriving at Temple Emanu-El, the funeral-goers found crowds thronging five deep behind the barriers erected along Fifth Avenue. In lieu of sending flowers, mourners were asked to donate money to God’s Love We Deliver, Guide Dogs for the Blind, and Our House Grief Support Center.
Inside the temple, Preston Bailey had arranged cascades of white lilies and orchids in great profusion. Although Rivers had visualized her own appearance in an open casket, she ended up being cremated, so mourners were deprived of the wind machine blowing her hair “like Beyoncé’s.” Other entertainment abounded, however.
The Broadway musical theater star Audra McDonald sang “Smile,” and Hugh Jackman performed Peter Allen’s song “Quiet Please, There’s a Lady Onstage.” The New York City Gay Men’s Chorus serenaded the audience with “There Is Nothing Like a Dame,” “Big Spender,” and “That’s Entertainment!” The Pipes and Drums of the Emerald Society, a unit of Irish-born members of the New York City Police Department, played “Amazing Grace” on bass drum and bagpipes—and then followed that with rousing renditions of “New York, New York” and “Give My Regards to Broadway.”
The eulogies elicited as much laughter as they did tears. Inside Edition host Deborah Norville talked about Rivers’s secret mission to hide the ashes of her late friend Tommy Corcoran in a vase at Buckingham Palace. Not content with stashing his remains there, she secreted another batch of ashes under a rosebush at Highgrove House, the private residence of Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall in Gloucestershire.
Melissa’s eulogy included a humorous letter she had written to her mother.
Mom,
I received the note that you slipped under my bedroom door last night. I was very excited to read it, thinking that it would contain amazing, loving advice that you wanted to share with me. Imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw that it began with the salutation, “Dear Landlord.” I have reviewed your complaints and address them below:
1. While I appreciate your desire to “upgrade” your accommodations to a larger space, I cannot, in good conscience, move Cooper into the laundry room. I do agree that it will teach him a life lesson about fluffing and folding, but since I don’t foresee him having a future in dry cleaning, I must say no.
Also, I know you are a true creative genius (and I am in awe of the depth of your instincts), but breaking down a wall without my permission is not an appropriate way to express that creativity. It is not only a boundary violation but a building code violation as well. Additionally, the repairman can’t get here until next week, so your expansion plan will have to be put on hold.
2. Re: Your fellow “tenant” (your word), Cooper. While I trust you with him, it is not okay for you to undermine my rules. It is not okay that you let him have chips and ice cream for dinner. It is not okay that you let him skip school to go to the movies. And it is really not okay that the movie was Last Tango in Paris.
As for your taking his friends to a “gentlemen’s club,” I accepted your rationale that it was an educational experience for the boys—and you are right, he is the most popular kid in school right now—but I’d prefer he not learn biology from those “gentlemen” and their ladies, Bambi, Trixie, and Kitten. And just because I yelled at you, I do not appreciate your claim that I have created a hostile living environment.
3. While I’m glad to see you’re socializing, you must refill the hot tub after your parties. In fact, you need to tone down the parties altogether. Imagine my surprise when I saw the photos you posted on Facebook of your friends frolicking topless in the hot tub.
I think it’s great that you’re entertaining more often, but I can’t keep fielding complaints from the neighbors about your noisy party games like Ring Around the Walker or naked Duck, Duck Caregiver.
I’m more than happy to have you use the house for social gatherings, but you cannot rent it out, advertise as “party central,” or hand out T-shirts that say “Fuck Jimmy Buffett.”
In closin
g, I hope I have satisfactorily answered your complaints and queries. I love having you live with me, and I am grateful for every minute Cooper and I have with you. You are an inspiration. You are also thirty days late with the rent.
Much love, Melissa
But for most of those in attendance, the funeral’s high point was provided by Howard Stern, who opened his remarks by saying, “Joan Rivers had a dry pussy.”
“At first, the words just hung there, as no one knew exactly what to do,” Margaret Cho wrote in a Huffington Post piece called “Joan Rivers Put the ‘Fun’ Back in Funeral.”
“Of course I started laughing hysterically, and everyone else, remembering who we were there to honor, followed suit. Howard Stern actually choked back tears as he continued—‘Joan’s pussy was so dry it was like a sponge—so that when she got in the bathtub—whooooosh—all the water would get absorbed in there! Joan said that if Whitney Houston had as dry a pussy as Joan’s, she would still be alive today…’”
Stern described Rivers as a “big sister” and the “best friend in the world,” as well as the “crazy aunt at a bar mitzvah.”
“I hope Joan is somewhere chasing Johnny Carson with a baseball bat,” he concluded.
The high-risk gambit won rave reviews. “With Howard Stern, she certainly had the kind of funeral that nobody else could have gotten away with,” said Barbara Walters. “Nobody would have laughed more than Joan—and Joan was so dirty. She was at heart a prudish Jewish girl, but she had what a lot of people would call a filthy mouth.”
Rivers’s friends were thrilled with every aspect of the service. “It’s exactly what Joan would have wanted,” said Dorothy Melvin. “It was show business. People were laughing, people were crying, and Joan liked a show. She loved drama. She loved Broadway. She liked it big. She would have loved every single moment of it.”
“It was a great send-off,” said Martyn Fletcher. “She’d be furious she missed it.”
“I think Joan would have sobbed,” said Andrew Krasny. “I don’t think she realized how globally loved she was, and how she changed the course of so many people’s lives—and how many people had her sense of humor.”
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