by Tara Pammi
She looked at the arrogant angles of his face, his air of command, the way his broad shoulders and lean strength filled the very air around her and could not believe she had been so bold as to have kissed him, to have asked him to make love to her, to have seen him in that moment where he had lost all control of himself. An utterly useless rush of power filled her.
His desire hadn’t been faked—this realization that had been simmering under all the other overwhelming facts rose to the fore.
Was that her leverage? Did he still want her—or was she simply the spoils of war, a convenient receptacle to carry his future dynasty?
She licked her lips and saw his eyes flare.
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “I have spent all morning resolving ridiculous disputes pertaining to goats and cattle and what not. Do not test my patience, Amira.”
“If you have one of your lackeys draw up a list of dos and don’ts dictating my behavior with you, I shall learn it by heart. What is it that you expect me to provide you with?”
“Other than the obvious?” He moved into the tent with an economic grace that meant Amira couldn’t help but stare. A dangerous glint appeared in his amber eyes.
He ran a finger over her jaw so gently that Amira instantly closed her eyes to savor the feeling.
Fiery heat claimed her skin though the temperature fell rapidly with the sun setting outside. Because even with the chaos he had brought to her life, not one single night had passed when Amira had not wished for him beside her on the bed.
Instead, she moved away from him. “I see the speculation in the maids’ eyes. Move me to a different tent.”
“You give orders like a queen. And they only look at you that way because I haven’t yet declared that you’re their future sheikha.”
She tilted her chin up. “Believe me, that’s the last thing I want to be. If I had known who you were that night, I would’ve screamed the palace down to get away from you. I would have—”
“You’re telling yourself lies. But since it probably makes you feel better, I shall leave it so.”
The infuriating, arrogant beast! Was he right? Would she have been attracted to him even if she had known what a powerful man he was?
When she had learned the truth three days ago about his identity, she had been in shock, disbelief. But now she wondered how much Adir had really wanted her that night? And how much had been the need to humiliate Zufar?
She sighed, realizing even now that she was looking to put a romantic spin on that night.
“I ran away with you because I needed a way out. But now that the wedding day has passed—”
“He will not take you back, Amira. I have received news.”
Amira thought it was a throwaway comment, meant to shame her again. Meant to remind her that she had turned her back on Prince Zufar and that life.
But beneath his penetrating look, something else lingered.
Where was the man who had been so kind and approachable that night? Whose eyes had been full of pleasure and warmth?
“From...the palace? From Khalia?”
“Yes.”
For two days, all she had seen of Adir was in discussions outside her elaborate tent. Two women had always been with her and a battalion of guards outside the tent. And as of an hour ago, ten men had been whittled down to one.
That same look—a sense of victory—gleamed in Adir’s eyes.
He had been guarding her, she realized now, against Prince Zufar. Assuming he would come to take her back. He hadn’t been willing to take the chance of her returning to Prince Zufar and Khalia.
What did that mean? Did he truly want her? Or was she still only a prize he had stolen from Zufar?
“Is there any word from my...my father?” she asked, even knowing that he must loathe her by now for everything she had thrown away, for what she had cost him.
“No. It seems he has washed his hands of you.” If there was any tenderness in his tone, she didn’t let it move her. Pity was not a good substitute for anything genuine like respect or affection.
“Prince Zufar...is he...?”
“He has replaced you with, of all women, a maid. The man who called me a dirty stain on the name of his house, the King of Khalia, is now married to a palace maid.”
Zufar had been forced to marry the maid to save face? What had he thought of her running away with Adir? Had Galila worried for her?
Amira plopped down onto the divan, her knees giving out. For so long, her every breathing moment had been to prepare to be queen. Her fate had been tied to Zufar’s.
Of course her disappearance mere hours before a dynastic wedding would have repercussions. At least Adir had made it clear that she was leaving of her own accord.
The connection had been severed the moment she had decided to jump out of the window with Adir, yes, but now...it was as if a crushing weight had been lifted.
Amber eyes locked with hers and any relief she felt was forced out of her.
Arms at his sides, powerful legs sprawled in front of him, he was very much king of the desert.
Heavy, sluggish warmth pooled low in her belly.
Waiting. Watching for every nuance on her face. In that penetrating stare, Amira saw that he wasn’t sure of her. His question next confirmed it.
“Are you regretting running away with me? Giving up the queen’s life?”
For three days, she had contemplated the question and come up with an answer: no.
The scales had fallen from her eyes but she still couldn’t regret running away with him. Couldn’t regret that night. Maybe she was as foolish and useless as her father had always called her.
She sighed. “Prince Zufar replacing me with any woman is not a surprise. I’m just...relieved that my foolishness didn’t cause him unfixable damage. His indifference toward me did not deserve the humiliation I helped you wreak on him.”
“It is a little late to show loyalty toward him.”
His fingers closed over the engraved handle of a knife and slowly he peeled off the skin of a piece of fruit. When he sliced a small section and handed it to her, Amira shook her head.
“You chose me. Over him.”
“Haven’t you crowed about it enough?” She rolled her eyes and the beastly man simply smiled.
Amira breathed harder, faster as he pushed off the chair, another piece of apple held in his hands.
He smiled and in that pure devilish movement, she could see her downfall.
He lifted the piece to her mouth, slow desire making his eyes shine with a brilliant glow.
Here was the answer to her question.
Mesmerized, Amira opened her mouth. He slid the piece between her lips. The pads of his fingers lingered over her lips. She licked his fingers. The sweet and tart taste of him flew like liquid lightning to the place between her thighs. The spot he had touched that night, the spot she had tried to find to relieve the ache he caused...the spot that was throbbing now.
Trembling with need, she sank her teeth into the pad of his thumb.
His chest fell and rose as she sucked the tip into her mouth. His eyes darkened. And when she sucked it between her lips, a sound escaped his mouth—the same low, throaty growl he had made when he had spent himself inside her that night.
Amira jerked away from him, her heart racing. Her breath still uneven.
He wasn’t gloating when she looked at him.
She stood at the window, looking out into the red expanse of the gorge and valley beside her when he started talking again.
“See what happens when I simply come near you. You forget all your objections. You look at me as if you’re desperate for my touch, eager for me to be inside you.”
He said it in such a matter-of-fact voice. As if they hadn’t been ready to tear each other’s clothes off.
While she...she wa
s still shaking from the depth of her need.
Of course, she and Galila had talked about sex—without mentioning her brother specifically because that made the both of them nauseous—and how a woman’s libido could be just as strong as a man’s. But it all had been a theory.
She hadn’t ever thought that those urges would overwhelm even her mind.
“This attraction between us...it is an added bonus,” he said almost thoughtfully.
“An added bonus?”
“I like sex and I like to have a lot of it. But I also intend to remain faithful to my wife. From what I remember of that night, and from the way there’s a spark in the air every time I come near you, you’re explosively responsive, and like everything else, you’re extremely curious about this. The things I could teach you, the things we could do together... The kind of chemistry we share would last a long time. Enough to keep me interested.”
She turned instantly, disbelief skating through her.
He looked back at her steadily, his lean face a study in beauty.
If her heart beat any faster, it would jump right out of her chest. “What are you saying?”
“That we could have a more than satisfactory marriage. Zara and Nusrat couldn’t stop singing your praises, even though they’re prejudiced about any woman that is not from the tribes. Even Humera is impressed by you and she has never given her approval to a single woman in the tribe.”
“Humera is the old woman—the midwife who came to see me?”
“Yes.”
“Zara told me she never ventures out of the camp. Why did she come here?”
“I asked her to take a look at you.”
“Why?”
“Because you look pale and unwell.” His gaze swept over her, but this time there was no mocking smile or taunting desire. A flash of concern shone in it. “You have dark shadows underneath your eyes, and I could break you with one hand.”
When he raised a brow, she hurried to reply, “I do not want to be seen as a victim. Whatever my father did, I never let it change me. It shouldn’t change how you see me.”
He nodded, granting her a privilege. “After two minutes with you, no one could think you were a victim. Amira, I would have you enter this marriage with an open mind. You wield your silence like a weapon, your hurt like a...shield for all the world to see. Vulnerability like yours...”
Longing ripped through her. Here was a man who saw her, who...understood her. An urgency like she never knew gripped her. As if she had to grab onto something before it disappeared.
“I thought you were no different from Zufar or my father. I was wrong.”
The hesitation in his gaze made her cover the distance between them, a glimpse of the vulnerability she’d seen that day pulling her like a rope. “How am I different?”
“Zufar couldn’t care less whether I was happy or sad. As long as I did my duty and didn’t cause scandal, I could do whatever I pleased. My father, as long as I presented myself befitting the status of the prince’s betrothed, he could not have cared less if I was rotting with misery on the inside. But you...you care that I am happy about this. Admit it, Adir, you feel guilty for deceiving me. Admit that you felt something that night.”
“You’re determined to see me as a knight in shining armor. I’m not.”
“And you’re determined that you will kill whatever you felt for me.”
“Enough, Amira! Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve. Your vulnerability is a weakness. A naive, trusting sheikha is a dangerous thing. There will be many who will court your goodwill, who will use that against you. For a woman who has been brought up by a beast of a father intended for a royal life, you’re far too innocent. That is the only downside I see in this.”
Her heart sank. “The only downside?”
“In marrying you.”
If he had slapped her, she would probably have been hurt less. “Then don’t. Don’t marry me. You can still see our child. I’m sure there is no shortage of women queuing up to be your bride. In fact, I’m surprised. Doesn’t a powerful man like you have a girlfriend or two tucked away?”
“I thought it was tacky to mention my past relationships.”
“You’re the one who keeps reminding me to leave fantasy behind and live in the real world. I have accepted that you’re a flesh and blood man with clay feet like the rest of us. So tell me, Adir, how many mistresses will I have to deal with?”
His jaw tightened, and anger flashed in his gaze for the first time. Only then did Amira realize how flat and unemotional he had been so far. “I told you I intend to be faithful to my wife. And I will expect the same, Amira.”
When she didn’t answer, he tilted her chin up. “I will not tolerate even the thought of you straying.”
Even as he commanded her, vulnerability shone in his eyes. This was important to him. This was personal.
Amira met his eyes, searching for that man who had laughed with her. Wondering what lay beneath that command and duty. “Do you really believe I’m the sort of woman who would cheat on her husband? One who would bring such...discord, and invite such pain into so many lives?”
Her breath hung serrated in her chest while he studied her. “You spent a night with me while betrothed to him.”
Amira felt as if he had slapped her. Tears rose to her eyes and she struggled to blink them away. “Wow. You will use that against me again and again, won’t you? For the last time, Zufar was chosen for me. Zufar didn’t even know me. He had no right to my feelings.”
“And I do?”
She nodded. As much as she didn’t want to. “More fool me, but yes. Even before I learned that there was to be a baby. I don’t think you’ll ever realize what you meant to me that night. Just that night.”
His hands fell on her shoulders, his gaze so serious. “Amira, all I mean is that you could fall in love with some man later and justify your affair. Love makes people weak, it makes them hurt others. With no thought to consequences. It’s the same for men and women.”
“You speak as if you have seen this.”
He shrugged and looked away. Amira had the eerie sense that she had been close to learning what made him so...remote. So cynical. So alone, even. As if a bright glittering star had been within her reach and she had let it slip without even knowing.
“As little experience as I have with it, that is not love,” she said. “That is...selfish indulgence.”
“For someone so young and untested and so...innocent...” his knuckles ran down her cheeks, sending a thread of warmth through her “...you have very decided opinions.”
“I just know there are some lines I wouldn’t cross. Things that I could never live with. And since you insist on this wedding between us, it would be nice if you knew that, too.”
“No, you would not be a wife who would cheat on me. You might, however, twist a knife in my gut if I did.”
It looked like he knew her well enough after all. Amira laughed and automatically leaned toward him to kiss that sexy mouth.
When he stilled as she leaned toward him, she caught herself. And looked away.
And because she didn’t want this awkward moment stretching any longer, she said, “So what about your history of lovers?”
He cleared his throat even as his eyes danced. “The tribes are very conservative socially. The last thing I could do is import a girlfriend from the city just to satisfy my...needs. Neither could I carry on with a woman from the tribes because that’s a blatant abuse of power. So I have always kept my...associations short and un-messy. A man like me has no allowance to be emotional in his personal life anyway.”
And with that pithy sentence, he revealed so much of how he saw himself. Amira frowned. He made it sound as if it were a necessity to be alone to be a ruler. As if relationships were nothing but weaknesses. “You mean you have never had a girlfriend?”
Every word out of his mouth was a tempting pitfall. Every look he cast her a tug on her senses. Her heart should not race like one of her father’s thoroughbreds at the thought of being his wife. At the thought of spending all her nights in his beds. But the foolish muscle did.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
“And I make it a worthwhile...proposition? Is this your way of wooing me?”
He shrugged, putting paid to any such notions. “You were bred to be a queen. You’re beautiful, sophisticated, a consummate asset to a businessman in the outside world. Education, polish, your charity work, even your career, everything about you is an asset to a man in a powerful position. Especially me.”
“Especially you? Why?”
“I’m forever caught between progress and tradition and you understand both. You’re manipulative, just like me, maybe just subtler in the way you go about it. You’re a survivor, Amira.”
He didn’t even see his actions toward her as wrong. He thought she would be an asset. As if she were a piece of equipment or an accessory.
“I will be an asset as a sheikha. I will give you a good time in bed. I will be a good wife. And what is it that you give me, Adir?”
His usually cynical gaze was filled with confusion and a bitter laugh fell from her mouth.
“It seems all the benefits are yours. What do I gain of this marriage?” Chin tilted up, shoulders square, she faced him. “Why would I exchange one ruthless man for another? One prison for another? Tell me why you would make a good bargain for me. Why I should throw myself into this?”
A dark smile shone in his eyes. He seemed to admire her show of backbone, her clinical reduction of this thing between them into a transaction. He took her hand in his and before she could think to object, pressed a soft kiss to the underside of her wrist. Sensations sparked inside her. “I should not forget one fact.”
“What?”
“That you’re a fast learner.” The wealth of meaning in those words sent her hurtling into a rush of remembered sensations and words so intense that she burned all over.