Bile rose from her stomach. She had no recollection of coming here. Sam had never blacked out before. Sure, she’d had instances where she’d lost bits and pieces of memory after drinking too much, but never hours erased from her mind. It terrified her to think of what could’ve happened to her. Alone and drunk in a town she barely knew.
She went back inside and searched the drawers for a pack of matches, stationery, anything that would give her the name of the inn. She located her purse beside her discarded pile of clothes on the bathroom floor. Stuffed inside one of the interior pockets, she found a receipt from The Ashley Inn Bed and Breakfast for $181.69. It was time stamped 12:09 p.m. She powered on her phone and, ignoring the texts and voice messages that came flooding in, googled the address of the inn.
She texted Moses: “I’m in trouble. 201 Ashley Avenue. Charleston. Please come alone.”
He responded: “Be there in 45 minutes. Don’t move.”
She texted Jamie: “I’m sorry for worrying you. I’ll be home tonight. I’ll explain everything then.”
She didn’t wait for his response, couldn’t bear the thought of him being angry with her. Or disappointed. She stripped naked and stepped in the shower, letting the steaming hot water wash away the day’s drunkfest.
I’ve got to get ahold of myself. Forget about Eli and Allen. Focus on Jamie. What kind of example am I setting for him?
She dressed in the same clothes, sans underwear, which she balled up and stuffed in the wastebasket. She dried her hair and put on a little mascara, eyeliner, and lip gloss.
When Moses texted that he was in the lobby, Sam hurried downstairs to meet him.
The girl behind the check-in desk greeted her with a snide, “Are you leaving so soon?”
Sam slapped her room key on the counter. “I just needed a little nap. Thanks.”
Moses offered his arm and Sam accepted it, grateful for his steadying force to guide her down the front steps.”
“How much do you know?” she asked Moses, once they were tucked inside his compact car.
“Only that you disappeared for most of the day without a word to your family. They are worried sick about you, in case you’re wondering. Judging from the smell of alcohol on your breath, you spent part of that time in a bar somewhere.” He started the car. “Are you hungry? When’s the last time you ate?”
“I ate dinner. Last night.”
“Then I’m taking you to my new favorite restaurant.” He sped off down Ashley Avenue.
“Who called you?”
“Faith and Jamie both called me,” Moses said, taking a left onto Calhoun Street. “I was at Sweeney’s when I got the text from you.”
“I figured as much. That’s why I told you to come alone.”
She stared out the car window at the people strolling down the sidewalk, out walking their dogs on a pleasant summer’s evening. Why couldn’t her life be so uncomplicated? Maybe she needed to get a dog.
“Was Annie at the market?” she asked, and braced herself for the answer.
“Yes, why?”
“Because she knows.”
Moses took a right onto E Bay Street, drove a few blocks, and then whipped his car into a parking space in front of 167 Raw. “What does Annie know, Sam? I can’t help you until I know the whole story.”
“Do you ever think about coincidences, how ironic they can be sometimes? It turns out that Annie isn’t a stranger after all. She and Jamie share something in common. They have the same father.”
“What?” Moses placed a finger to his ear. “Did I just hear you say Jamie and Annie are half brother and sister?”
“Yep. Small world, ain’t it?”
Moses placed his big hand over his face, rubbing his cheeks and chin. “Wow. That actually explains a lot about a lot of things.”
“I can’t believe we’re eating at a raw bar,” Sam said, opening the passenger door. “Oysters on the half shell aren’t exactly my idea of hangover food.”
They entered the restaurant, and Moses asked for a private table in the corner. The hostess greeted him with a smile of recognition, as though he’d been there many times before.
Once they were seated, Sam said, “I like the vibe of the place.”
Perusing the menu, Moses said, “If you’re looking for something that will stick to your ribs, the lobster roll is the best I’ve eaten. Po’ Boy is not a bad choice either. And, they have great craft beer on tap.” He winked at her.
Her face took on a green tint. “The thought makes me want to vomit.”
Moses set his menu down and reached for Sam’s hand. “Why didn’t you call Megan?”
“Because, Mo, I only just met the woman yesterday. I didn’t want to scare her off with all my problems.”
“She’s a veteran sponsor. That’s why I picked her for you. That’s what the whole sponsorship program is about. You know this.”
Sam hung her head. “I made a lot of bad decisions today. I was already feeling vulnerable after breaking up with Eli. Then Eli was held hostage with a bomb handcuffed to his arm. Then Mack had his heart attack, and I was terrified we would lose him. When I saw Allen lying in that hospital bed, with Annie at his side, I just lost it.”
“Wait a minute. Allen is sick?”
“Yes, he has some sort of cancer. Probably liver, judging from his sallow-looking skin.”
The waiter—a young man about twenty with muscular tatted-up arms—arrived to take their order. Moses ordered a dozen crab claws with iced tea and Sam opted for the lobster roll and a diet coke.
After the waiter left, Sam filled Moses in on what little she knew about Annie and Allen.
“Knowing how you feel about Jamie’s father, I can only imagine how hard this is for you,” Moses said, when she’d finished talking.
“I thought I’d put this business with Allen behind me a long time ago. But all the pain and loneliness came rushing back to me today. With something new mixed in—jealousy.”
“And that’s totally understandable. When Allen abandoned you, he stripped you of your self-esteem. You’ve never been able to devote yourself to anyone else, because you don’t see yourself as worthy. And now you feel jealous not only that Allen picked someone else to marry but that he’s parenting someone other than Jamie.”
The tension drained from Sam’s shoulders and she slumped back in her seat. “No wonder I pay you the big bucks. You’ve just solved all my problems.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” Mo wagged a beefy finger at her. “I’ve identified your problems. Now you and I need to work together to come up with a solution on how to work through them.”
“I was afraid of that. What did you have in mind, Dr. Ingram?”
Lacing his fingers together, he placed them on the table and settled back in his chair. “You can start by going to see Allen.”
“What?” Sam’s forehead shot up to her hairline. “Are you crazy? No way.”
“I’m not crazy at all. I’m dead serious. And you need to do it tonight.”
Twenty-Two
Sam
“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Sam asked on the way to the Hollings Cancer Center an hour later.
“Because, Sam, you’ve made some assumptions about your relationship with Allen that may or may not be true. Those assumptions have controlled your emotions all these years.”
“Are you saying the truth will set me free?”
“In the end, yes. How long it takes to travel the road to freedom depends on Allen’s reason for leaving you. Maybe he joined the Marines for a tour of duty in the Gulf, planning to one day come back and claim you as his bride. Which, to me, would be admirable and easier to forgive than if he got cold feet because he didn’t like the way you styled your hair.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “Both seem highly unlikely to me.”
“Of course I’m exaggerating, but you get my drift. Either way, you and I will face the reality together, and you will begin the process of healing.”
&
nbsp; “Did I ever tell you how much your logical approach to everything irritates me?” Sam propped her head against the window. “I wish I could go home and crawl into my bed.”
“You tried that already today, and it didn’t work out so well for you.”
Moses pulled up in front of the cancer center. “I’ll let you out here, then go park the car.”
“You promise you’re coming in?”
Moses placed his hand over his heart. “I’ll be waiting for you in the lobby with my cell phone in hand. If you get in trouble, all you have to do is text me.” When she reached for the door handle, he grabbed her arm. “One more thing before you go. You need to know the details about Allen’s disease before you talk to Jamie. You can’t ask Jamie to donate an organ when you don’t even know which organ he needs to give.”
She swallowed hard. “I understand.”
Sam made her way to the third floor of the cancer ward for the second time that day. She’d been too preoccupied earlier to notice that Allen had a roommate, an older man who was currently puking his guts up into a bedpan.
Sam wanted to help him, but she didn’t know how. “Can I call the nurse for you?”
Wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his robe, he shook his head. “Nothing she can do. But thanks.”
Sam pulled the drape tight to allow the man his privacy.
Allen gestured toward the chair beside the bed. “I’m surprised to see you again so soon.”
“My shrink insisted I come,” Sam said, her tone more hostile than she’d intended.
“Ouch.”
Sam softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. It’s been a long day.”
“For the record, this organ donor business was not my idea. Once Annie gets something into that stubborn head of hers, it’s hard to shut her down.”
“What kind of cancer is it?”
“Liver. Even if Jamie turns out to be a match, my guess is, it’s too late for a transplant. The doctor won’t admit it, but I can hear it in his voice. I’m dying, Sam.”
The sudden lump in her throat surprised Sam. She’d spent the last twenty years wishing ill will on Allen. Shouldn’t she be happy to find out he was going to die? “Does Annie know?”
“I’ve tried to break it to her as gently as possible. Deep down inside, I think she understands what’s happening. She’s just too darn bullheaded to accept it.” Allen traced the pattern on the quilt covering his legs. “She made this for me. Lord knows where she learned how to sew. Probably from watching some program on TV. ” He pulled the quilt close to him. “The truth is, I didn’t discourage her from going to Prospect. I wanted her to meet Jamie. No matter how you feel about me, my daughter has a right to know her half brother. After I’m gone, she’ll be all alone.”
“Where’s Annie’s mother?”
“Long gone. She took off when Annie was a baby.” He looked pointedly at Sam. “I know what you’re thinking. I deserve every bad thing that happened to me because of the way I treated you.”
“I won’t argue with that. So you married her.”
He nodded. “But I didn’t love her. Not like I loved you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Sam.”
“Then why did you? I thought we made a good team. We were ready to set the world on fire.”
A smile parted his lips. “You were ready to set the world on fire. I never had that kind of drive and determination. You are the best person I’ve ever known in my whole life, Sam.”
“I don’t under—”
He held up his hand. “I wasn’t good enough to be your husband. Or your child’s father. I had in mind to make my mark on the world, and then come back for you. But it didn’t work out that way. I realized pretty darn quick that I would never be anything but a poor, dumb fisherman.”
How was it possible for twenty years of hurt and anger to dissipate in a matter of minutes? If only he’d talked about his feelings instead of walking out on her. If only he’d reached out to her, contacted her, she could have helped him.
Is this what it feels like to be set free?
Sam smiled. “I come from a long line of fishermen, remember?”
“Yeah, but Oscar Sweeney had something I never had. Smarts.” His face grimaced with pain when he repositioned himself against the pillows. “Annie is smart like that. She takes after her mother.”
“I have to admit, I’m curious about Annie’s mother. Tell me about her.”
“There’s not much to tell. I met Sandra a few years after I left Prospect. I married her when she got knocked up with Annie. I’d already run out on one innocent child. I couldn’t bring myself to abandon another. I’m not surprised Sandy took off like she did. She always had her heart set on making it big in Hollywood.”
“Did she? Make it big, I mean.”
“I honestly don’t know. We haven’t heard from her since she left.”
“I know what that feels like.”
“I deserved that.” An awkward silence filled the room and they heard the man in the bed next to Allen retching. “As you might imagine, I’ve spent my life jumping from one fishing boat to the next. I managed to keep Annie in school, but she hasn’t had an easy life. Most of the time we barely scraped by.”
The misgivings Sam had initially felt toward Annie subsided. “She’s a good kid, Allen. You did right by her. She’s a hard worker and easy to get along with. She’s not like most teenagers I know.”
He shrugged. “I’m a lousy provider, but it turns out I’m not such a bad father.” He hesitated, as though trying to decide whether to continue. “I know I don’t have any right to ask, and I understand if you say no, but I’d really like it if you’ll allow me to meet Jamie.”
When Sam entered the lobby, Moses rose from his chair and she walked straight into his arms, his powerful muscles giving her the strength she needed to hold herself together.
“How’d it go?” he asked, his chin atop her head.
“As you predicted. I’ll fill you in on the way home.” She took a step back from the giant. “But I want to check in on Mack before I leave, if that’s okay with you. I need to see him now.”
“Of course.”
As they exited the Hollings Cancer Center and walked a block to the parking deck, Sam told Moses she planned to come back to MUSC on Sunday and bring Jamie to see his father depending on how her son received the news.
“I’ll get the car,” Moses said, “and wait for you in front of the Heart building. Give Mack my best.”
As Sam retraced her steps from early that morning, she thought about how much had happened during the last sixteen hours. With all the issues she needed to work through, she would undoubtedly need Moses to help her in the days and weeks ahead. Part of her felt ready to flap her wings and fly. Allen had left her all those years ago—not because of his feelings for her but because of his own feelings of inadequacy. The other part of her felt tethered to the earth, burdened by the blow she would soon deliver to her son. She had no idea how to tell Jamie that his father suddenly wanted to see him after all this time, that his father was also Annie’s father, and that his father would die if Jamie didn’t undergo an organ transplant to save his life.
The attendant at the information desk in the lobby gave Sam the room number and pointed her to the elevators leading to the fourth floor. She was relieved to find Mack alone. She wasn’t in the mood to explain her day’s whereabouts to her mother and sister.
“You gave us quite a scare, you know,” she said, approaching Mack’s bed. His appearance shocked Sam. In addition to the tubes and wires covering his face, arms and chest, his eyes, now cloudy, were sunken and his skin translucent. Sam thought her old friend looked as though he was on death’s doorstep, like he’d aged ten years in the last twenty-four hours.
“I even scared myself this time. All those damned cigars finally caught up with me.” He reached for her hand. “I have to admit, the idea of fishing the great big ocean in heaven with Oscar Sweeney sounds appealing.”
“Stop being morbid, Mack. It’s not your time.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” He brought her hand to his cheek, his prickly gray whiskers rough against her skin. “You just missed your mom and Jackie. I sent them down to the cafeteria for dinner. Lovie, bless her heart, has been fussing over me all afternoon. I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Let her fuss. She’s grateful you’re alive. We all are.” Sam lowered herself to the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?”
“Like a cargo ship crossed my chest.” He peeled his hospital gown back and showed her the angry incision marching down his chest.
“Ouch, you poor man.” She patted his arm. “I’m not going to stay long. You need your rest.”
“Don’t go just yet.” He gripped her hand tighter. “I’ve been lying here for most of the afternoon, thinking about how blessed I’ve been to share my life with the Sweeney family. You and your sisters are like daughters to me—the children May and I were never able to have. Your father was the best friend a man could ever ask for. And Lovie … well, I always had a bit of a crush on her, even when we were married to other people. The past year has been one of my happiest.” He was quiet for a minute, the sound of his shallow breathing mixed with the beeping of the monitors. “I wish I’d gotten the nerve sooner to tell your mother how I feel about her. But I kept those feelings to myself for fear of betraying Oscar.”
It scared Sam to hear Mack speak with such melancholy. “Dad would never have wanted Mom to be alone. Who else to take his place but his best friend?”
“I realize that now. Now that it’s too late.” He looked away, staring out the window for a long minute before returning his attention to her. “Don’t let that happen to you, Sam.”
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