by Anna Hartman
“You want to be on your own?”
“No, I want to be with you, but I want to do this alone.”
Brockley was not a man you was used to get his offers declined.
“Ok, if that’s what you want. Rosalind, I am a very busy man and this means we won’t have much time together”
“I know, but I need to do this to be happy and fulfil my biggest dream.”
“You could just come to London to study and I’d invest in your label.”
Rosalind shook her head, he really didn’t get it.
“Brockley, I love you but I don’t want to be dependant on you.”
Although Brockley was disappointed that Rosalind wouldn’t return to London to be with him, he also admired her guts and independence, it would only be a year and they could see each other often, who knows maybe it would keep the flame alive not living in each other’s pockets. With Alice they had pretty much lived together from the day they met and married within six months too, and that had not worked out very well at all.
The rest of the week Rosalind and Brockley tried to keep an air of normality in the office, but as soon as they closed the door behind them every evening they became lovers, spending nights of passion at the Plaza or in Rosalind’s apartment, going to fabulous dates around the city and enjoying each other.
One of the secretaries pointed out to Rosalind that she had clearly taken Brockley’s suggestion seriously and asked her boss on a date now that he was officially single.
Rosalind blushed and laughed but didn’t admit anything.
When Brockley flew back to London on Sunday they were both so smitten with each other that being apart seemed like an impossible task. Rosalind stretched herself, she was naked underneath the 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets Brockley had bought her. He leant down to kiss her goodbye.
“In a fortnight I’ll be in London in for a whole month” She said
“I love you Rosalind”
“I love you too Brockley”
Brockley picked up his suit carrier and walked out of the bedroom.
CHAPTER 17
Rosalind spent her last two weeks in New York looking for an apartment to live in as a student from September as she would have to move out of the BGH flat which was only ever supposed to be temporary. At work she was busy finalising the hotel project. It was agreed she would work part time on the launch plans and then just do occasional work in the New Year.
She arrived to London on a hot and sticky August day and the month that had seemed so long beforehand actually flew by. Rosalind wanted to spend every night with Brockley, there was no time for sleep, they had Sunday lunch with Lady Langley every week, she was delighted they had finally got together.
When the day of her return to New York came she was upset but excited, Brockley drove her to the airport and after they parked the car they sat on the front seat kissing for half an hour before they could pull themselves away from each other. Brockley walked Rosalind to the check in carrying her luggage and afterwards Rosalind walked upstairs to departures, he stood there looking at her but she didn’t turn around. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she knew if she did she would not be able to go.
Once she got settled in New York Rosalind was so busy with school and work that she didn’t have time to miss Brockley, it suddenly felt like another life. The luxury and glamour of Brockley’s world was a far cry from her student life in New York, the tiny little apartment in the shabbier end of upper west side.
She was enjoying school and had started to source materials and sketch designs for her final show which would take place on the back of New York fashion week in March.
Her collection was called Phoenix. Inspired by the mythical bird. She had wanted to create something even more beautiful rising from the ashes of her past. First there would be stern grey functional clothes, then move into more chaotic colourful beauty and finally a wedding gown so intricate and spectacular that it would leave the audience breathless.
Brockley could feel a distance growing between them, not just the geographical distance but an emotional one. Rosalind was always busy, she has not been to London since the start of the semester and often during their phone calls she seemed distracted. When he travelled to New York she always seemed pleased to see him, the sex was as good and passionate as ever, but when he tried to whisk her away for a weekend or plan some other surprises she always declined as she had work to do, a lot of the time she seemed distracted.
Christmas was coming up and Rosalind would be coming to England to spend it with her mother, Brockley was invited for Christmas day lunch at Lady Langley’s cottage too. As was Chris Johnstone who according to rumours seemed to spend more time in the cottage than in his own London flat and has recently started to work remotely a lot. For New Year’s he had planned to spend it at the Langley House hotel, where it all had started a year before.
Brockley was all set, he had summoned Abigail’s help and sourced a beautiful antique engagement ring, arranged them to stay in the same suite overlooking the lake they had spent that amazing passionate night the year before, the night that had started it all. His divorce from Alice was finalised so he was free to propose and marry. The ring in her finger would make her come back to London as Brockley’s business was very much based in there and he didn’t want to move to New York. Rosalind could easily create an amazing career in fashion here too, she didn’t have to be in New York. He would fund her own business, use his contacts and do whatever he could to help her build a successful business.
Brockley arrived early on Christmas day morning to Lady Langley’s cottage, he had bought lady Langley a first edition of Mrs Beeton’s book of household management, he knew she would love it with her now thriving business and newly found domesticity. For Rosalind he was going to give a pair of earrings that matched the ring she would be getting on New Year’s eve.
Rosalind was still in her dressing gown, ever since she was a little girl she had woken up at dawn and crept down the stairs waiting for her parents to come down and join her to open the presents. Whilst waiting she made herself a cup of tea and curled on the sofa to enjoy the beauty of the tree and the elegantly decorated room.
On New year’s eve they danced and laughed and talked excitedly about their future plans. Their table was full of friends and some of Brockley’s business acquaintances. Just before midnight Brockley led Rosalind upstairs to the suite and. as the fireworks went off Brockley kneeled in front of her.
Rosalind started crying.
“I can’t yet, Brock. I love you with all my heart, but I have to do this first, I have to finish school and start a business and make my own way. After my father died I decided I never want to rely on anybody else but myself for money and I need to do this for me”
“You can still do all that, I won’t stand in your way”
“I need more time, I’m sorry”
Brockley, the man who always got what he wanted couldn't believe his ears. There was the woman he loved, who loved him back and she didn’t want to marry him.
“I - I need to go” Brockley got up and walked out the door leaving Rosalind sobbing quietly in the big armchair.
Brockley walked straight into reception and asked them to get him a car to London straight away. While he waited he ordered a brandy.
Rosalind didn’t sleep, she sat motionless in the armchair and watched the sun slowly rising across the lake with the cold grey winter light.
At 8 am she got out of her dress and showered for a long time. She knew she had done the right thing but she loved Brockley with all her heart.
After getting dressed she walked down to her mother’s house and as soon as Lady Langley saw her walk in the door she wrapped her daughter in a hug and held the sobbing girl for a long time. She didn’t say anything, didn’t ask any questions, just held her daughter in her arms rocking gently.
After half an hour Rosalind finally spoke. “Mum, Brockley asked me to marry him but I can’t”
“
Why can’t you? He is a good man”
“Because when daddy died and we had to go through all the heartache and financial trouble i promised myself never again to count on a man to provide for me, I want to make something out of myself”
“I understand, and I feel the same but you can still accept love and companionship from a man you love and who so clearly loves you back.”
“Not yet I can’t, I need to make something out of myself first”
Her smart, stubborn daughter had made up her mind. Sylvia just hoped that Brockley wouldn’t give up on her as they were so good together. But she knew the type of man Brockley Graham was, used to getting their own way and not known for their patience. So no matter how much she liked and respected Brockley, she couldn’t really see him fighting for her daughter. He’d go back into dating pretty starlets and building his business empire, burying any heartache in his work.
That night Lady Langley cooked Rosalind her favourite meal, ran her a bath and helped her pack for New York. Rosalind was going through the motions like a robot.
The next day Lady Langley drove Rosalind to the airport for the flight to New York. It would be her final semester at Parsons.
CHAPTER 18
On her return to New York Rosalind buried herself in work in order to forget about Brockley Graham and her own broken heart. She missed him and was struggling to visualise a life without him, but Rosalind knew she had made the only possible choice. If anything the last three years had taught her to become self reliant, to make sure she had a career and a life to fall back on when things didn’t got to plan. Now that her mother was happy and settled in her new life, Langley house was sorted and taken care of she had all the time in the world to put the effort required to her own budding career. Rosalind believed she was talented and stood a chance to make it in fashion, but as in any creative industry to be successful in fashion wasn’t just about talent and hard work, a bit of luck was also required.
Rosalind’s final student show had been a success and she was snapped up by Tia O to design their new diffusion line. That meant Rosalind would stay in New York and not return to London after graduation as she had planned.
Her salary was so minimal that she decided that the best thing would be to stay in the apartment with her friend and flatmate, plus it was nice to have company. New York city could be a lonely place.
Occasionally Rosalind met up with Nick but made a point never asking about Brockley, sometimes his image popped up online with business news or gossip columns when he had turned up with some model or actress to an event. Every time Rosalind felt a physical pain but knew that she had made the only decision she could have done.
Summer that year was particularly hot but Rosalind had to work so a holiday in much cooler England wasn’t an option. Then her roommate Grace suggested she’d join her family for a weekend in the Hamptons, they had a house there and every year organised a huge party for the 4th of July.
The last working day before the independence day holiday was boiling hot. Manhattan wasn’t at its best during the hot summer months. The city was stifling and everybody who could escaped to the Hamptons for at least the weekends. So Rosalind found herself feeling quite giddy and excited as she waited to board the Jitney with Grace. She had packed lightly, just some beachwear, a simple summer dress, a pair of shorts and a couple of short sleeved tops. Flat sandals and sneakers and a long strapless dress for the party.
“I’m so glad you are coming this weekend. You are going to meet my parents, my gorgeous brother and his friends and experience the party of the season. This is like the third generation of Henning’s hosting an annual independence day party.@
“So you’ve had the house for ever then?”
“Yes my grandmother grew up there and then made it into their summer home when her parents passed on and she moved to New York. It’s a lovely house, not particularly grand but the location is fantastic and it’s really homely, my parents had it extended when my brother and I arrived. But it’s still only four bedrooms, instead of a McMansion, that the rest of Hamptons seem to be full of”
They chatted away and watched the city turn into a highway and then eventually the lush greenery and sparkly blue sea of Montauk.
They got off the bus and walked to short distance to the Hennings beachfront house. As they turned the corner from the main street toward the beach Rosalind was stunned by the beauty and movies scene like quality of the house. A faint blue clapboard house behind a white picket fence, with white shutters, a wraparound porch and behind it the beach.
“Wow, this place is amazing!”
“Wait til you see what’s inside, come on I’ll show you around” Grace took Rosalind’s hand, they dropped their bags on the porch. As they opened the door they were greeted by two big dogs going crazy with excitement and an amazing smell of baking.
“Mom, we’re here!” Grace shouted, like anybody could have missed the loud noise the overexcited welcome parade made.
Anne Henning walked through the kitchen door, wearing an apron and with what looked like flour on her face.
“Oh darling, so lovely to have you here, Leo will be here any minute now, he is getting a lift with somebody. So you must be Rosalind? I’ve heard so much about you. Welcome to Hamptons.”
“Thank you for having me Mrs Henning.” Rosalind gave her the bottle of champagne and Pierre Herme macarons she had brought with her.
“Oh, thank you! you shouldn’t have and please, call me Anne.”
“Girls, do you mind sharing a room, we have pretty much a full house this weekend?”
“No of course not, it’ll be fun”
“Great, go get settled and then come down for dinner, we’re just going to have a barbeque tonight”
The girls picked up their bags and walked up the stairs to Grace’s bedroom. It was two floors up, under the sloping roof of the attic, all girly and feminine like a pre-teens dream.
“Sorry, I last had this decorated when I was about 12, so it’s a bit princessy” Grace laughed and pointed to the ornate white iron bed with a mosquito net above it, next to it Anne had made a trestle bed for Rosalind. One of the walls was painted pale pink and there was still some much loved teddybears on the armchair.
“How about you take the big bed and I sleep on the spare one, after all you are my guest”
“no don't’ worry, I’m perfectly fine here and I think the room is lovely. Funny to see you weren’t always this sleek minimalistic New Yorker” ROsalind lifted her bag on the bed and started to unpack.
“Do you guys dress up for dinner?”
“No, never. So just wear what you are wearing or change if you want, I was just going to put on a looser fitting dress and get rid of these city clothes!
20 minutes later the girls walked down the stairs just in time to see Leo walk in and whoever had dropped him off driving off the driveway.
“Leo, didn’t you invite your friend in for a quick drink?”
“No mom, sorry he had to go but he’ll be coming to the party tomorrow night”
“Right, ok. Have you met Grace’s friend Rosalind before?”
“I believe she has kept her away from me and now I can see why.
Grace laughed, “of course I’ve kept this English rose away from my smarmy brother. Nice to see you big bro” Grace stood on her toes to give this tall handsome man a kiss.
Rosalind was about to shake his hand when he pulled her in a bear hug.
“Grace’s friends are my friends, welcome to the crazy house”
All Rosalind knew about Leo Henning was that he was an architect and obviously very handsome.
They walked outside to the beachside terrace where Guy Henning was already lighting up the barbeque. A few other people were standing by the pool glasses in their hands and chatting.
“To my parents, just family means whoever happens to pop by, so there’s always uncles, aunts and random neighbours stopping for pre-dinner drinks. Once I swear some dude that no one kn
ew turned up and by the time my parents realised that he was just some passer by they let him stay for dinner as he was very entertaining”
Rosalind laughed, although her family had always done a lot of entertaining, it had never been this casual. She picked up an Aperol Spritz from a tray Anne Henning was carrying and wandered down to the sand, kicking her sandals off en route.
She was so pleased that she had ended up sharing an apartment with Grace Henning, she was a lovely girl, really relaxed and fun. She came from a nice family, they were by no means rich, Mr Henning was an academic and Mrs Henning a literary editor. They lived in the village in a perfectly nice street but back in the day they had bought their apartment it had been a rundown area and the only place they could afford.
It was a fun and relaxed night but as they all knew tomorrow would be a busy day and a very late night they called it a night by midnight. Grace and Rosalind helped clear the table and then lied awake giggling like teenagers for ages before they finally fell asleep.
CHAPTER 19
The next morning Grace, Rosalind and Leo decided to head to the beach for a couple of hours before coming back to help the Hennings organise the party.
As she was splashing around in the sea with Leo, Rosalind felt like somebody was watching her but when she turned to look she couldn’t see anybody in particular, just a lot of families enjoying a day on the beach.
They stopped for lunch at the beach cafe and then headed back to the house to help get it ready for the party.
Anne Henning insisted in doing most of the catering herself, she just had some waiting staff and barman for the evening
As soon as the girls enter the kitchen they are given little tasks, Grace is decorating cupcakes and and Rosalind chopping vegetables or the salads.
“So how many guests are we expecting?” Rosalind asks whilst chopping tomatoes.
“Well we’ve invited about 30, so probably anywhere between 50-70” Anne Henning laughs. Everybody always brings friends and we don’t mind, the more the merrier, so I always make sure there are enough food for at least 60 people. Well thank you girls, after you’ve mixed the salads just go upstairs and get ready, the waiting staff will be here soon so I can let them finish off, let’s gather for drinks at the back at 6:30.”