by J. S. Cooper
I parked in my usual spot and pulled out my phone and sent her a text message. “Maddie, I’m outside your house. I will be slamming the door down in ten minutes if you do not call me back or come out. I’m not leaving until you come out or the police escort me away.” I hit send and waited. I stared at the house I had sworn I would never visit again and prayed that I would see her walking out the door to come and see me. Just as I was about to text her again, a car pulled up in front of the house. I peered over my steering wheel and watched in shock as Joey jumped out and walked around to open the passenger door for Maddie. She got out slowly, and I saw her laughing about something. My heart constricted as I watched her smiling at Joey. She looked beautiful and happy. She was wearing a white summery dress, and her long dark locks were flowing in the breeze of the night. My fingers gripped my cellphone so tightly, I thought I was close to breaking it as I watched them standing there, talking. I thought I was going to murder someone when I saw Joey lean down and give her a kiss on the lips. It wasn’t long, but those few seconds were like the cruelest torture. I felt as if the world was ending, and I was getting to see my worst nightmare play out in slow motion. I let out a huge breath as I saw Maddie pushing him to go in the car, and I grinned to myself. That’s my girl, I thought. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if she had let him go into the house that night. I might have committed murder, and then he’d never have been able to orchestrate the sale of the Bugatti. Jared and Vincent would be stuck with a stolen Bugatti in the front yard and a brother in jail. And I still wouldn’t have Maddie.
I jumped out of the car as soon as Joey passed me in his vehicle, and I ran up to Maddie as quickly as possible so I could intercept her before she went inside. “Maddie,” I called out as she was opening the door. She looked at me with a frown and paused.
“What are you doing here?” she hissed, and all I wanted to do was swoop her into my arms.
“I need to talk to you.” I smiled hopefully. “I’ve missed you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” She shook her head and made to open the door again. “Just leave me alone.”
“Listen to me, please, Maddie. Give me five minutes, please?” I pleaded with her.
“No.” She shook her head and she avoided eye contact with me. I walked closer to her, and stopped right in front of her.
“Look at me, please, Maddie.”
“No.” She shook her head and looked over my shoulder.
“Look at me, please.” I sighed and I reached my hand over to her face and lifted her chin up, so her eyes would look directly into mine. “Maddie.” I said her name slowly, as she finally made eye contact with me. I froze as I stared into her hurt, wide eyes. My heart felt as if I had just run a marathon and emotions ran through me as I took in her appearance hungrily. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. “Maddie.” I said her name again. “I’ve missed you.”
“You don’t get to say that.” She bit her lip and turned away from me. “You don’t get to come here and pretend everything’s okay.”
“I came to apologize.” I took a deep breath. “And I came to explain.”
“I don’t care. I don’t want to know.” She shook her head, and looked away from me again. “I don’t trust you anymore.”
“I love you, Maddie.” The words tripped out of my mouth and I saw her jaw drop as she looked at me uncertainly. “I love you.” I said the words again and laughed. “I didn’t think I’d ever say those words.”
“I don’t care.” She shook her head, but I could see her lips were trembling.
“Please, Maddie.” I reached down for her hands. “Can we just speak?”
“No,” her voice broke. “I can’t do this anymore, Logan.” She shook her head vehemently. “I knew it was going to be hard, getting to know you and trying to break through. But I can’t deal with this anymore. I can’t deal with you. You don’t trust me and you never will.”
“I didn’t see your invitation until the day after the party,” I interrupted her. “I didn’t know, Maddie. I thought you were just—”
“It doesn’t matter.” She pulled away from me and shouted. “It doesn’t matter when you saw the invitation. You should have had faith in me. You should have trusted me. You should have known me better than to think I was ashamed of you. You broke my heart, Logan. Not because you fucked me and set me up so my father, my own father, would hear and see. But because you did it because you didn’t trust me.”
“I wasn’t thinking, Maddie. Please.” I looked at her with distraught eyes. “You have to understand, I was just so hurt, I couldn’t think straight. I messed up, I know. But I do trust you. I love you. I will never doubt you again.”
“I can’t just forgive you, Logan.” She shook her head and there were tears rolling down her face as she looked at me. “You betrayed me and my feelings.”
“Don’t you love me, Maddie?” I grabbed ahold of her and pulled her towards me. “Don’t you love me?” I crushed my lips down on hers and tried to kiss her. She pushed against me, but I continued, trying desperately for her to remember the connection we had. Our chemistry was unbeatable and I hoped that the feel and taste of me would awaken her from her numb state.
“Stop it.” She pushed me and broke her face away from me. “You can’t just kiss me. It’s over, Logan. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“You told me once that I was the man you were going to marry.”
“I got it wrong.”
“You told me that our story was like that of a movie.”
“So?”
“So the guy always gets the girl in movies.” I stared at her. “That much I know.”
“Well, maybe it’s a different guy who gets the girl.”
“No.” I shook my head. “When two people are fated for each other, no one can break them apart.”
“We aren’t fated for each other.” She shook her head. “It’s over, Logan.”
“You don’t mean that.” I ran my hands through my hair. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
“I’m just a silly, spoiled schoolgirl, Logan.” She sighed. “You knew that when you first met me. You were right. I’m fickle, I’m capricious. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. I don’t love you. I’m over you.”
“Liar.” I shook my head, refusing to believe it.
“I’m over you, Logan.” She shrugged carelessly. “I don’t care if you believe me. You need to go. This is not a good place for you to be.”
“I love you.” The words came out bitterly, and I laughed. “Ironic that now that I’ve met the love of my life, she doesn’t want me. Seems to be the story of my life. Once a loser, always a loser.”
“Get over yourself, Logan Martelli.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the front door. “You need to leave, and I need to go in, or my parents will wonder what’s going on.”
“Come talk with me in the car.”
“I have nothing to say.” She made to go in the door, and I grabbed her arms and held them up so she couldn’t move.
“I won’t let go until you come to talk with me in the car.”
“Let go of me, or I’ll scream.” Her eyes bore into mine.
“Scream then.”
“The police will come.”
“I don’t care.”
“You’ll get arrested.”
“I don’t care.”
“Fine.” She squirmed away from me. “Just let go of me. I’ll give you five minutes.” We walked to my car quickly, both of us breathing rapidly. My head was a flurry of emotions and I felt as if I was going to break down and shout. I had to get her to give me another chance or there was a real possibility that I was going to do something stupid. We got into the car in silence, and I turned to face her with a weak smile.
“You look beautiful tonight.”
“Thank you.” She nodded without smiling.
“You’re dating Joey now?”
“No.” She shook her head and looked away. “Kind of.�
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“I see. That was fast.” I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my voice.
“He asked me to dinner, and I said yes.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve known him all of my life, our dads are best friends, they always hoped we’d date. I figured it couldn’t hurt. I needed to figure out some stuff.”
“I’m glad you decided to date someone in your league,” I spat out bitterly.
“We’re not dating, and I don’t know what you’re talking about when you say ‘league.’” She sighed, and I watched as she played with her fingers.
“I don’t trust him.” I leaned towards her. “I don’t want you to date him.”
“Are you joking?” She laughed. “You don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t date. And trust me, I know who I can and can’t trust.” She rolled her eyes and said something under her breath.
“Maddie, I love you. I made a mistake. A big mistake, and I hurt you. Please give me another chance.” I leaned forward to kiss her again, and for a moment I felt I had gotten through to her. Her lips melted against mine, and she kissed me back. My tongue slid between her lips eagerly, anxious and happy to taste her again. I felt like I was inhaling manna from heaven, and I moved closer to her, so I could run my hands through her hair. I felt her fingers in my hair, tugging on the strands as she kissed me back. I slid my hand to her breast to caress it, and then she jumped back and broke the kiss. Her eyes looked at me feverishly and my heart dropped as she shook her head and grabbed my hands.
“Listen to me, Logan.” She spoke slowly and steadily, and I sat there staring at her, wondering how I had could have ever doubted her. “You are a special, wonderful, brilliant man. You’re not less than anyone. You are handsome, and kind, and funny, and you are loving and sweet. And my heart will always have a place for you, but I’m not the one for you.” She shook her head slowly. “I love you, but I can’t do this.”
“Give me another chance,” I begged her, my head caught up in the wonder of her words. “I fucked up. I know. I will do anything to prove myself to you.”
“I can’t do this, Logan!” she shouted at me, and the tears ran down her face more quickly this time, smearing her mascara. “I just can’t do this. Please. You hurt me. You are so quick to think the worst of me. I will do anything for you. But I just can’t do this. What you did to me the other night, it hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt in my life. You crushed me. Do you understand that? You crushed me!”
“Your dad used to be best friends with my dad.” The words coming out of my mouth sounded robotic. “Your dad was upset because my dad was smarter and got my mom. Your dad set my dad up with the police. My dad’s life was never the same.” I knew I was mumbling and not making sense, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted her so badly to understand. “I grew up hating your dad because my dad hated him for ruining his life. We came to this house every week for years and just sat outside, and my dad would tell us about his dreams and his goals before your dad screwed him over. And then we would go home to our squalor, and we’d lay in bed hungry and cold, and we hated the family that lived on Manor Road.” I paused to see if she was listening, and I saw the dismayed shock on her face as she stared at me. I continued and lifted up my shirt, “You see this scar? My dad stabbed me one day when I asked him to take us home. I was fed up of hearing the story about what your dad had done. It consumed his life. He was a drunk. He is a drunk.” I paused and banged my fist against the steering wheel, unable to look at her as I spoke. “I hate him so much, I hate who he is. He’s a sorry drunk who hit his wife and his kids, and I hate your dad for making him that person. I’m a jumble of emotions and I don’t even know what to say.” I turned to look at her to see how she was reacting, and she ran her hands down my chest and over my scar. She looked up at me with more tears welling in her eyes and I continued, this time, grabbing her hands and talking. “My whole life has consisted of hating your dad, stealing cars, and trying to make a better life for my brothers. I never wanted to meet a girl and fall in love, and I certainly never wanted to meet you.” I rubbed the tears away from her face as she cried. “When I saw you that night, I wondered who you were, this calm, cool and beautiful car thief, and I took you to the field because we had instant chemistry and I just liked how I felt when I was around you. And then you were so spunky and confident, and I was intrigued by you. When we made love, I felt like my body was on fire. But then you told me who you were, and I hated you. I hated myself for being with you.”
“That’s why you hurried me home.” She spoke softly, and I nodded. “I think I understand it now.” She sighed. “I’m glad you’re finally opening up to me. I guess I understand why you wanted to hate me.”
“But I couldn’t stop thinking of your sweet smile and confident manner. And you kept coming back for more, and you seemed to get me, to understand me, to know and like me. You saw the real me. The me inside of the shell. You saw the real Logan Martelli, and I couldn’t stop myself from falling for you.”
“I thought it was the sex.” She made a little joke and I felt my heart leap as she finally cracked a smile.
“Well, the sex was amazing, but that was just a bonus. You made me start to believe that there could be a happy ending for someone like me.”
“But you didn’t really believe it.” She shook her head, sad again.
“No, a part of me didn’t believe it.” I sighed. “And when I got to the party, with my heart in my hand, and you told your dad I was a ‘friend’ after everything, I thought to myself, it was all a lie. She doesn’t love me, she’s not going to always be there for me. And I just couldn’t take it. I needed to make you hurt, as you had hurt me.” I paused and closed my eyes. “And I regretted it as soon as I saw the look in your eyes when you realized I had opened the door.”
“You wanted to hurt me.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I have never wanted to hurt you.”
“And you didn’t trust me.” She bit her lip. “I would do anything for you, Logan, and my heart is broken about my father. I’m shocked and devastated, but I—”
“Do you love me?” I interrupted her, not wanting her to reject me again. She nodded and my heart soared. “Do you think I would hurt you on purpose?” She stared at me for a long time and shook her head. “Do you believe I love you?” My voice cracked as I said ‘love’ and she nodded, her eyes darkening. “I think we deserve to give each other another chance.” I stared at her, hoping to convince her to give me one last chance. “For the sake of love, give us one last chance.”
“Okay.” The sound was so low, I wasn’t sure that I had heard her properly.
“What?” I asked, not daring to believe the words I had heard.
“Okay, I’ll give you another chance.”
“No more dating Joey.” I grinned at her and she rolled her eyes. “And no more kissing him either.”
“I didn’t kiss him.” She laughed and I pulled her towards me.
“I saw him kiss you tonight.” I frowned at her, as I started to get jealous again. “You didn’t say no.”
“He pecked me, Logan.” She giggled. “That’s hardly a kiss.”
“Don’t let him do it again.”
“Okay.” She smiled and stared into my eyes. “I’m sorry about my dad.”
“You believe me?” I looked at her with a worried expression, scared she doubted what I had said.
“Yes.” She nodded. “I know you wouldn’t lie to me. And from some things my mother has said recently,” she sighed, “well, I think she was trying to tell me that my dad wasn’t or isn’t the man I think he is.”
“What did she say?” I looked at her curiously.
“You can ask her yourself.” She smiled at me. “We’ll go to lunch and she can tell you everything she knows, if you think that would help you.”
“I’d love to know more.” I nodded. “I feel like I don’t know everything. Maybe she can help me piece it together.”
“I don’t even know what to think about
my dad.” She bit her lip and looked at me sadly. “I still love him, and it makes me feel so guilty. I just don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” I kissed her. “I still hate him. I don’t think I’ll ever stop hating him, but I’m not going to let that stop me from loving you with all my heart.”
“Do you really love me?” She grinned happily.
“If you love me.” I laughed easily now.
“Tell me again,” she whispered against my lips, almost shyly.
“I love you.”
“Why?” She looked at me in wonder.
“I love you because you’re spunky and brave. I love you because you’re the first person I think of in the morning and the last person I see before I go to bed at night. I dream of you and live my days thinking about how I can be a better man for you. I don’t know how I lived without you in my life, Maddie Wright.”
“I love you, Logan Martelli.”
“Why?” I held my breath as I waited for her response. A part of me still didn’t feel worthy of her love.
“I love you because you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in my life. When you smile at me, a part of my heart explodes with happiness. When you look at me, I feel like you are seeing every part of me, and you care about what I have to say and what I do. I love that you appreciate that I’m a smart, loud, confident woman, but you also allow me to be your special someone, and you protect me, and keep me warm. I love that you like to take charge and dominate me, and when I feel you inside of me, I feel as if the world has stood still and there are only two people left.” She gasped as I slipped my hand up her dress and caressed her inner thighs. “When you touch me, I feel like my skin is on fire and only you can quench me.” I licked her lips and grinned against her mouth, laughing softly at her low moan as my fingers slipped into her panties.