by Debra Kayn
She'd blame her lack of responsibility, her rare moment of drinking, her family living with her, her need to give Dukie a stable home life, and her job of managing the bar. He thrummed his thumb against the steering wheel. Throughout everything she'd throw at him, he'd be there. He wasn't leaving.
Chapter Nine
Raelyn walked out of her bedroom, rubbing her eyes, and tried to get her body to wake up fully. Stopping outside Dukie's bedroom, she pushed the door fully open and turned on the light, blinking against the throbbing pain in her head.
"Rise and shine, little man." Raelyn cleared the gruffness from her voice and walked closer to the bed. "It's camp day."
The covers were pulled up and tucked in. Instantly awake at not finding her son in bed, she hurried out of the room. "Dukie!"
"He's fine," said Mel from the other room.
She rushed into the living room and stopped. Mel sat on the couch, his sock encased feet on her coffee table, a mug of coffee in one hand, and the classified section of the newspaper in his other hand. The silence of the apartment crept into her, and she shivered.
"Where's my son?" she asked.
"At camp." Mel set the newspaper down beside him. "Your mom is downstairs getting the bar ready—she apparently has worked in a bar before because she rattled off everything she planned to do and it sounded a lot like what I've seen you do. Grandma June walked down to the senior center to check it out. Carl left about an hour ago, I never asked where he planned to go. He's old enough to take care of himself."
"W-what time is it?" She reached out for the chair and sank down on the edge of the seat, trying to grasp what was going on.
"Almost noon."
She looked down at her bare thighs, her skirt, her shirt. "I'm wearing the clothes I worked in last night."
"Yep." Mel put his feet on the floor and grabbed his boots.
"I..." She pressed her hand to her head. "I was drinking."
"Mm hm," said Mel.
"I was with you." Raelyn stood and swallowed the wave of nausea hitting her at remembering him having sex with her on the desk. "Oh, my God. I was with you."
Her stomach fluttered, heightening the symptoms of her hangover. She glanced over at Mel expecting to find a cocky grin on his face and received a serious interest in her reaction. His gaze intensified as she remembered the way he'd spread her out on the desk and he'd held off her orgasm until she lost control and exploded.
H-he'd showered her with attention.
She'd begged him.
They'd...oh, my God.
She buried her face in her hands. She'd never crossed that personal line with any of the Ronacks members. Mel had been Duke's MC brother. He was her friend. Her head pounded. What was she supposed to do now?
"There's coffee. Do you want a cup?" asked Mel.
She lowered her hands and nodded. "I need something. I'll need to open the bar in an hour."
Mel walked into the kitchen and returned with a mug. She avoided looking in his eyes, embarrassed over him witnessing her moment of weakness last night. She and Mel had done everything together in the past, except have sex. When she'd had the flu, he held her hair behind her while she lost the contents of her stomach in the toilet. He'd babysat Dukie when she had a dentist appointment every six months or just to give her a break. He'd seen her kick each step going upstairs in anger. Cry over pictures Dukie had drawn for her. Curl up on the couch from period cramps.
She had no excuse for her behavior. "Mel?"
He sat down on the couch, closest to her. "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry." She inhaled deeply, testing her stomach. "I have no excuse for what I did, except I'm pathetic."
"Stop."
"No, I've been..." She blew out her breath. "Lately, it seems like I don't have control of anything."
"You're horny," he said. "I get it."
"No, you don't." She leaned forward and grabbed his hand. "You're my friend. You're part of Ronacks. I should never have let myself...feel."
He stood, tipped her chin, and leaned over and kissed her. "You, more than anyone, deserve to feel."
"I can't breathe when I feel." She pressed her fingers to her lips, and her legs trembled. Through her hangover, her embarrassment, her body was aware of Mel, his touch, his scent, his voice.
He'd just kissed her again as if it was normal. It wasn't normal. It was so rare it should've gone in a museum.
Mel's mouth softened. "You can breathe when you feel. I promise."
He grabbed his vest off the back of the couch. "I'm going to head downstairs and then check in with Battery. Everything should be ready to open the bar. The cleaners have come and gone."
She stared at him. Simply stared, because she had no idea what she was supposed to say or take from the conversation. She hadn't seen Dukie when he left for camp. She hadn't said she loved him. She hadn't made sure he wore a pair of jeans without any holes. She hadn't made sure he ate a proper breakfast.
Mel had stepped up and taken her responsibilities over while she slept in bed. She set her mug on the coffee table and went to the bathroom to shower. Each step, a pleasant reminder of her activities last night and had her thinking about Mel. He'd been wonderful. Better than she'd ever imagined.
His attention to her continued from last night into the morning. He'd cared for her and Dukie as if it was his job. She stripped her clothes off and forced herself to shed one of the most wonderful times in the last five years from her head. She couldn't make a repeat of last night. As much as she wanted Mel again, she'd made a home for her and Dukie with Ronacks and wouldn't jeopardize her son's happiness.
She swallowed the lump of emotions choking her. Having sex with Mel meant she was over mourning Duke. She'd always love him, and she missed him terribly, but she could see past the darkness. Mel had given her the freedom she desperately needed to push beyond being Duke's widow and Dukie's mom.
Showered, dressed, and semi-together, she went downstairs to open the bar. She approached her mom from behind and hugged her tightly, laying her chin on her mom's shoulder. It was rough when her mom showed up with Keith, planning to live in a motorhome and move far away, but she was glad to have her family here now.
"Thank you," she whispered to her mom.
Her mom patted her hand. "You needed the rest, honey."
She backed away and walked to the cash register. Not sure how many hours she'd slept. She wasn't sure how much rest she gained or what time she went to bed.
With the hangover hanging like a black cloud around her, she couldn't wait until Dukie came home from camp and she could see her son and apologize for not being here this morning to see him off. She also couldn't wait until two o'clock in the morning when she could climb into bed and go to sleep.
"What should I wear tonight?" Raelyn's mom sat on a bar stool. "Do you think the customers would like the singer to dress up or keep it relaxed and wear a pair of jeans and maybe my white blouse that scoops with the ruffles?"
Raelyn groaned, remembering she'd forgotten to call Battery and gain approval first before having her mom sing to the customers again. "Hold that thought."
She walked back to the office and sat down, grabbing the cell phone she used for work. There were probably six other things she was forgetting because her routine had been interrupted by her poor choices. She connected the call and put the phone against her ear.
"Everything okay?" asked Battery.
She smiled. He answered the phone the same way every time she called. "Yeah, everything is great. I wanted to run something by you if you have a few minutes to talk with me."
"Shoot."
"My mom, brother, and grandma are staying upstairs at the bar temporarily," she said.
"The upstairs is there to do what you want, Raelyn. Family is family."
"I know, but I wanted to let you know." She straightened the mess on her desk, highly aware of why everything was scattered. "What I was wondering about is how you feel about having a singer come in and entertain the c
ustomers?"
"I think the sports crowd would bring in more money."
"I understand that and wouldn't think of taking that away from the bar." She stopped the pen from rolling toward the edge of the desk. "But most evenings, the game is over by seven o'clock. Eight at the latest. I have someone who can entertain during the late-night hours and be flexible in case the Super Bowl or the World Series is on. And, before I get ahead of myself, I want you to know I'm talking about hiring my mother. Before you think I'm partial to her singing voice, she had a little impromptu routine she performed last night. The crowd loved her."
The flick of a lighter came over the phone. "Keep her under twenty hours. No benefits. We'll give her two weeks to see what kind of results we get from adding entertainment and reevaluate."
Raelyn sat back in the chair and smiled. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. Let's see what she can do for the bar first." Battery paused. "Is that it?"
"Yes. Thank you so much." She glanced at the clock. "I'll let you go. Doors open in ten minutes."
"No problem," said Battery. "Your heads probably pounding."
"Excuse me?" She glanced around the office.
"You laid one on last night. You were barely standing when I saw you this morning." Battery sniffed. "Drink some tomato juice. It'll help."
"I...okay." She caught her lip between her teeth.
"See you later."
"Bye," she whispered, disconnecting the call.
Battery saw her this morning? She squeezed the bridge of her nose. That was imposs—
She stared at the top of her desk, remembering all the Ronacks members at the clubhouse. Battery looking at her. None of the women were there. She'd gone with Mel.
Why would he take her to the clubhouse after having sex with her and knowing she was drunk?
"Raelyn?" said Grandma June.
She looked up and found her grandma standing in the doorway of the office. "Hey, Grandma June."
"Customers are starting to come inside and your waitresses..."
"Gia and Heather." Raelyn stood and brushed off her hands. "Bethanee will come in and work the night crowd with us."
Grandma June tapped her cane against the floor. "I'll remember their names eventually. They're all ready to work."
She rubbed Grandma June's arm and squeezed past her to go out into the bar. "How was the senior center?"
"Full of old people." Grandma June walked behind Raelyn. "I think I'll hang out at the bar. The people are more interesting, and the men are better looking."
"Don't be getting any ideas." Raelyn glanced behind her and raised her brows. "Mom keeps me busy enough pushing the men away from her. I couldn't handle playing mother to anyone else."
"Maybe you should take some lessons from your mom." Grandma June paused at the entrance of the bar. "You need to lighten up. A good man would put a smile on your face and an extra swing in your hips."
Raelyn turned around, cocked her hip, and scowled. "I've got plenty of swing. I don't need anymore."
Grandma June cackled. "Oh, honey. A girl can never have too much swing."
Raelyn shook her head in amusement and instantly regretted the movement when her headache increased. "On that great grandmotherly advice, I'm going to work. Let Peggy know when you're hungry and tell her to put your lunch on the house."
Wanting to jump into work to keep from overthinking the situation with Mel, Raelyn spoke with the waitresses, and everyone split up to work their assigned tables. Raelyn manned the counter, which usually remained less busy than the room until after the dinner crowd left later tonight. Then, she got her exercise keeping up on the drinks the customers ordered.
Paige and Emily from across the street at the second-hand consignment store waved as they walked in. Raelyn waved back and said, "I'll be in next week. I have a bag of Dukie's clothes upstairs to bring over."
"Drop it off anytime." Paige pointed to the table. "This one okay?"
"Perfect. Gia will be with you in a second." Raelyn filled two water glasses and set on the edge of the counter for Gia to take with her to the table.
A heady scent of smoking barbecue drifted through the room, signaling the backdoor opening. Raelyn swallowed hard. After drinking too much after the bar closed last night, food was the last thing she wanted to deal with today. Hers or anyone else's.
Her mom walked up to the bar. "Are you feeling better, honey?"
"I’m fine." Raelyn smiled. Come kitchen fire or broken keg, she would muster the bravery to deal with the consequences of letting herself lose control for one night. No regrets.
"Dukie will be back soon." Her mom lowered her voice. "I know you have a babysitter, but do you mind if I go spend time with my grandson?"
"Mom." Raelyn reached across the counter. "I would love if you spent time with him."
"I wasn't sure." Her mom squeezed her hand back. "After wanting us to go away, you seemed upset."
"Because of Keith." She softened her voice. "I worry."
"There's no reason to give yourself an ulcer. I'm done with men for good." Her mother brushed her hands together.
She'd heard that before. After every breakup, her mother swore off men until the next one came along and promised her the world.
"I have good news for you." Raelyn pressed her hand to her upset stomach. "I talked to my boss earlier, and he's agreed to let you sing in the bar for two weeks. After that, he'll evaluate if you bring more business to the bar or not, and make a decision on whether to keep you."
"Ah, Raelyn." Her mom stood taller. "That's wonderful news."
"Even better news is the job pays. Not much, but enough you can put your money away and save for a rental." Raelyn spotted Swiss and JayJay entering the bar from the back door and waved over her mom's head. "I better get back to work."
Her mom shooed her away. "I'll go up and fix a snack for Dukie for when he gets here."
She smiled. Her son would love the extra attention showered on him with her family here. Maybe it would distract him from her slacking on the mom job this morning.
Swiss sat down at the bar and JayJay joined him. Raelyn poured two beers and set them in front of the men. "Burgers?"
"Sounds good." JayJay knocked on the counter. "By the way, congratulations, sweetheart."
"Um, thanks." Raelyn scribbled the order on her pad. Obviously, news of her mom singing at the bar already made the rounds within Ronacks.
"Yeah, congrats," added Swiss. "Happy for you."
"Whoa, guys. What have I done to receive all the good wishes?" She ripped off the order and stepped toward the kitchen.
"Your marriage with Mel." JayJay planted his elbows on the counter. "Best news of the day."
She stepped forward again and whispered, "My marriage to...?"
Oh, God. Mel had taken her to the clubhouse. She hadn't imagined being there. Her stomach rolled, and she clamped her hand over her mouth. He wouldn't have. No. He'd never do such a thing.
"Mommy!"
She flinched and lowered her hand not wanting her son to find her sick or for him to overhear the others. The club had made a simple misunderstanding. Soon as Mel came back to the bar, she'd talk to him. They couldn't be married. It was impossible.
Ignoring the bikers staring at her in concern, she rounded the bar and stopped Dukie from running into her.
"Hey, mister." She scooped him up, even though he was getting too big for her to carry, and used him as a shield from the concerned gazes from Swiss and JayJay. "How was camp?"
"We made paper airplanes." Duke wiggled wanting down now that he'd received his hug.
She set him on his feet and walked him to the kitchen. Out of sight from the others, she swayed on her feet. Peggy rushed over to her, and she shook her head. She would not fall apart in front of her son.
"Can you do me a favor and take him upstairs. My mom is up there, and the babysitter will be right up." She barely heard Peggy answer or aware of Dukie letting go of her hand and walking away.
Mel had taken her to the clubhouse and claimed her as his woman in front of everyone.
She leaned against the wall gasping for air. Ronacks Motorcycle Club honored a biker's commitment for life. In some ways, it was easier to get a divorce from a legal marriage than it was to dishonor another person within the club.
She slapped the piece of paper she'd crumbled in her hand on the table and walked back out to the bar. Swiss opened his mouth, and she held up her hand stopping him from saying another word. She would deal with Mel when he came back to the bar.
They couldn't be married.
It had to be a joke.
There's no way Mel would do such a thing to her.
Chapter Ten
A cheer rolled over the group of men clustered in front of the big screen television at the back of the wall in Pine Bar & Grill. Mel scanned the room from his seat on the bar stool looking for Raelyn again. It was unlike her to leave the room for longer than five minutes when the place was full.
He'd stayed at the clubhouse helping LeWorth with some security work, ran a couple of errands, and had expected to be back earlier to talk to Raelyn. With the bar already full, he'd need to wait until closing before he had a chance to get more than two minutes alone with her. If he could find her.
Heather approached the taps and brought out six mugs and placed them on the tray. Mel gathered the empty mugs in front of him and carried them behind the counter and set them in the dirty dish tub to help out.
Returning to his seat, he said, "Where's Raelyn?"
"Out." Heather concentrated on the flow of beer coming from the tap.
The only place she'd go during open hours was outside the back door where the large grill ran continually during dinner. He'd parked in the back lot, and the only person out there manning the meat was Brady. "Where?"
"Not my business to keep track of her. She's the boss. Besides, the only thing I worry about is how long it'll take me to get to the bathroom." Heather patted her baby bump.
Taken aback by Heather's lack of answers and her refusal to look at him, he rocked his boot against the foot rail on the stool. Heather always seemed open and honest. When she gave attitude, it was always in fun. There was nothing amusing about her answer.