by Brad Raylend
Jack looked up at Todd, who was watching Luke ride hard out into the sunrise.
“What’s uh dude?” he asked curiously.
Todd looked down at him in confusion. “Where did you hear that?”
“You said I was a dude earlier, Mister.”
Todd thought back to his brief encounter with him. It hadn’t even registered when he said the word to him. He had used the term quite often and it had become part of his vocabulary.
“Shit, uh …” Todd thought for a moment. “It means, like … you’re cool.”
Jack looked puzzled. With his little hand, he reached up and touched his forehead.
Todd chuckled “No, buddy, it’s like … someone who is relaxed, easy-going, they handle themselves well.”
“I dunno, Mister,” Jack said shaking his head, “Mama says I’m like uh chicken who don’t wanna go in its cage.”
Todd laughed. “You’re a just a boy, it’s normal. I was a lot like you when I was a kid. Always running off into the hills, making my mother worried.”
“What about your pa?” he asked.
“He was never around. My mom left him when I was very young.”
Jack seemed confused by this. He had never heard of such a thing. “You didn’t have a papa?”
“I guess not,” Todd replied, thinking back to his actual father. He had little recollection of him. He had had many father figures in his life, most of them being team leaders or commanders. They had taught him everything from military tactics, to schooling, even to social skills. He had learned a great deal from them and over time had completely forgotten about his fatherless childhood. There was no doubt in his mind, though, that if he had had a father, his life would have been drastically different. At least it would have helped his mother. Hell, maybe she would still be alive if his father had been around.
“Everyone should have a papa,” Jack said sadly.
Todd smiled. “Thought you didn’t like yours.”
Jack looked out at his father, who was racing across the wide-open plains. His eyes showed clear affection towards him. Todd could tell that there was admiration in the boy. He would just have to grow up a little before he realized how much he meant to Luke.
“He’s just mean sometimes,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“Because he cares about you, and he wants you to grow up strong and not expect the world to give you everything.”
Jack did one of his obnoxious sighs. Glancing over at the house, he replied, “I guess so … it’s just ‘aggovating’.”
Todd chuckled. “Yup, it is ‘aggovating’.”
Luke came riding back, a big smile spread across his face. He hopped down from the horse and opened the gate. He led the horse back in and closed it, then walked up to Todd and Jack. Dust clung to his facial hair and sun-baked face.
“You two gonna hop on any of ‘em?” he asked jokingly.
“Well, I’m scared to death now,” Todd chuckled.
“Eh, there’s nothing to be scared of. It’s just a seventeen-hand, thousand or so pound horse made of pure muscle.” Luke grinned deviously.
For the next few hours, Luke ran Todd through the basics of horse knowledge. He taught him how to lasso first. Using a fence post, Todd threw the loop over and over until he ringed it. He backed up a little and tried again. Luke then went over the saddle, its nomenclature, and how to properly mount, and sit on a horse.
Todd started out on Luke’s personal horse. It was a golden Quarter horse, with pearl white mane and tail. It was extremely tame and was well-used to having a rider atop it. Todd found it difficult at first to steer with the reins. It seemed as if the horse just ignored him initially. But as time passed, it started to come together, and Todd found it amazing how responsive the horse was to the slightest tugs in either direction. The first time he went into a full gallop he clinched his legs around the horse’s body tightly as it sprinted across the open field. He felt timid, at the mercy of the powerful animal.
As the sun began to set, bringing an end to a long day, Todd and Luke both worked the remainder of chores around the farm. They started with the horses, grooming them, picking their hooves, and then feeding and watering them. They then went to the chicken coop behind the house and scattered feed for the obnoxious birds to pluck at. Once they were done, they made their way inside and washed up for dinner.
Sarah had made a stew with the leftovers from the prior night. Todd was extremely grateful to eat home-cooked food and was extremely happy that there was more than enough for seconds. Jack sat staring into his bowl, pushing the contents inside around with his spoon. Sarah sat up straight, eating very properly. She looked over at Todd, who was devouring the food in front of him.
“So … Todd,” she said, smiling, “do you have a lucky young lady waiting for you back East?”
He looked up, surprised at the question.
“A handsome young man like yourself must have swept some girl off her feet by now.”
He looked over at Luke, who smiled, no doubt curious as to what the answer was. Todd scratched the back of his head, his cheeks reddening, and felt like he was under a microscope with the three looking at him.
“No,” he replied. “There’s nobody.”
Sarah tilted her head to the side, looking at him in disbelief. “I find that hard to believe. Maybe you just haven’t been looking hard enough.” She gave him a wink.
Luke wiped his mouth and smiled at Todd, who stared at the table. “Aw to hell with that, when the times right, she’ll come to you,” he said with a chuckle.
Sarah looked at her husband with admiration. He placed his elbows on the table and leaned in close to Todd. “Trust me, son, the ones ya find yourself are usually the ones you regret.”
Todd smiled slightly and looked down at the table again.
“Excuse me if I am being too forward,” Sarah said sternly, “but … were you formerly …?”
Todd answered quickly, “No, there hasn’t been anyone for as long as I can remember.” He rubbed his shoulder and continued. “It seems like the last twenty years of my life have been just far too busy for things like that. Too focused, too … consuming.”
“Nothing is more important than love,” Sarah said.
“He’s a young man, Sarah,” Luke said in a hard tone, “but he knows what his priorities are.”
Sarah seemed almost offended that Todd did not have a woman in his life. It was as if she expected Todd to be on track with such things as love and was unpleased with his current relationship status.
“They don’t always just come to you,” Sarah said to her husband with a slightly correcting tone. “No matter how big and tough some men are, they cower at the sight of a lady.” She looked at Todd, and the look in her eyes eased. “Surely there must be someone you fancy?”
Todd felt ashamed of the way his relationships had always panned out. He saw himself as a lonely, self-absorbed grouch who didn’t deserve the love and care of a gentle, noble woman. He tried to convince himself that he had yet to meet a true noble woman, that the majority of females he had been in relationships with only craved attention, and only showed interest because having him was like a trophy for their social status. His mind began to turn on itself, blaming himself for the loneliness that lingered in the dark corners of his heart. The loneliness that presented itself during the late hours of the night when Todd sat eating alone. He had had friends along the way to keep him company, but the void was never truly filled. His thoughts then turned to Kara. He wondered what she was doing at this very moment, if she was reading a history book, or maybe reading his messages from the past. He liked to think she was sitting in Odin, thinking of him. The idea of someone thinking about him, caring for him, maybe even missing him, put a warm feeling in his heart. It was something he had never known during his time in the military. The realist in him told him that she was thinking of York and hoping that she would soon see him again. Todd was nearly an afterthought.
“She loves someone e
lse,” he said, doing his best to fight the grimace in his face.
Sarah’s eyes widened and lit up. She smiled briefly at the fact that Todd was interested in someone, but then eased her expression due to the latter part of his confession.
“Who’s the dumb bastard she thinks she loves?” Luke asked, anger present in his voice.
“Luke!” Sarah snapped.
“What?” he replied sympathetically. “I want to know who is making this good man’s life a livin’ hell!”
“My brother … York,” Todd said with a small smile but somber eyes. “She loves him.”
Luke leaned back in his chair, shaking his head angrily. He crossed his arms, breathed out and grunted. “I’ve never met this brother of yours, Todd, but I can tell you right now that you are twice the man he is.”
Todd shook his head. “That’s not true, he is a far greater warrior than me.”
“I didn’t say warrior,” Luke said firmly, “I said man. I’ve met plenty of ‘warriors’ in my time who could kill a hundred men without breakin’ a sweat, but couldn’t differ right from wrong if it were staring them in the face. Some men become so enthralled with the unpleasant nature of their life, so used to killin’ and survivin’ … that they lose sight of who they are.”
Todd looked down. He tried to take in Luke’s words and use them to help ease his troubled mind. Deep down, Todd felt that he and York were exactly the same person and would make the exact same decisions given the same circumstances.
“It’s just … the thing is … I don’t exactly disagree with his reasonings for why he ran, and I fear that we are so much alike, that given the same circumstances, I would have done the same thing,” Todd said.
“You’re a good man, Todd, whether you choose to believe it or not … you are. No matter what you’ve done in your past, no matter how many bad things you’ve seen. In the end, you will be judged by who you’ve become, and I think you are on the right path, son.”
Todd nodded and worked up a smile. Luke’s large hand patted him on the shoulder and a warm feeling erupted in Todd. Sarah smiled at him and stood up to collect their plates.
For the first time in his life, Todd felt like he was part of a family. Jack laughed and fought to stay on his chair as his father tickled him relentlessly. Sarah hummed as she washed the fine china plates. Todd stood up and took some of the load off her hands. She thanked him and he thanked her for taking him in on such unusual circumstances. He felt as if he had already overstayed his welcome, but the McWilliams said they’d keep him around as long as he could stay.
As the night grew late, the conversation at the dinner table came to an end as Luke nodded off in his chair. Todd chuckled at the sight of the large man snoring with his arms crossed. Sarah walked over and gently woke him. His eyes shot open and he looked around with bloodshot eyes, not realizing he had dozed off. He stood up and said goodnight as he and Sarah walked down the dark hallway to their bedroom.
Todd walked out to the living room to lay down. It was dark in the house and he carefully felt his way to his fur pallet on the floor. He sat down and pulled his boots off. As he was about to lay down he noticed a small lump in the buffalo pelt blanket. Jack had fallen asleep during Todd and Luke’s endless chatting. Very gently, he slid his arms beneath him and picked him up, doing his best to not wake him. Slowly, he rose to his feet, cradling the little boy in his arms. He walked softly down the hall towards Jack’s room. As he walked toe to heel, trying not to wake him and his parents in the adjacent room, something dawned on him. A sudden realization that made him stop in the dark hallway. Holding Jack in his arms made him think of the journal entries York had written. He thought of Suong and the horrible things that had happened to her. He imaged York carrying the little girl through the dense jungle, running from her burning home. He looked down at Jack and wondered what he would do if his life was ever put in danger. A chill went up his spine as he came to terms with the dark truth. He gently set Jack down in his bed, then stepped back. Jack curled up into a little ball on his bed, his long hair splayed out on the pillow. Todd walked to the door, stopping to look back. He couldn’t imagine what he would do if something bad ever happened to this little boy.
* * *
May 2, 2011
The city was quiet, except for the occasional bark of a dog. I moved down the street with my weapon up, scanning the doorways and corners. My HUD showed the compound was only forty meters away. My aiming reticle danced around the possible danger areas, bouncing up and down with each step. I could see the high walls surrounding the three-story building on the other side of the field that lay in front of me. The soft dirt had been plowed most likely the day prior and my feet sank deep in the soft dirt.
I pulled a small shrub out of the ground and used it as a broom to sweep over my footsteps as I sidestepped towards the compound walls. When I finally reached it, I tossed away the shrub and skirted the walls around the west side until I found a metal gate, which I used to climb up and over the wall. My feet hit the ground on the inside and I froze down on a knee, ensuring I had not been heard. I waited for the crickets to resume their noise and then I slowly rose and walked towards the small prayer room that was separate from the main structure. I was almost positive that there wouldn’t be anyone in there considering it was several hours until prayer time.
I took a quick peek inside just to make sure, then made my way towards the side door of the main structure. The door was sealed with an outer gate which was firmly locked. I came out of cloak and pulled a small charge from my web gear. I had planned for this mission to go loud early on. Several teams of guys from my unit would be here shortly; originally they would suffer a helicopter crash which would have led to a significant delay resulting in Bin Laden’s escape. This time, however, they would most likely take the credit for the killing of Osama bin Laden. Me and Bohden had discussed the gritty details of the mission behind closed doors at the facility.
Utilizing some of Bohden’s assets, we were able to utilize satellite thermal imagery in order to predict where he was in the house. We knew that explosive breaches would have to be used in order to gain entry. Thus, making me go in cloaked was practically pointless. I stacked up on the door, my weapon against my shoulder. The MTX counted down from five. When it reached zero, the charge detonated, blasting the locking mechanism through the door jamb into the house. The door swung open and I raised my visor and burst into the house. I could already hear a woman screaming within the home and the racking of the bolts of AKs. I began clearing rooms, my movements quick and decisive.
My weapon stayed trained in front as I swept. I raised the muzzle at the ceiling in the high ready as I rounded corners and opened doors. When I reached the fifth door, I found myself looking at a man and woman, who fumbled in the dark in fear. The man reached for his rifle and I fired three rounds into his chest, then did the same to his wife.
I continued through the bottom level, encountering another couple who I put an end to quickly. I heard movement behind the last door on the first floor, and I kicked it open to find a group of children huddled together in the back corner. Anger burned inside me. Fucking Bohden! He said there wouldn’t be any goddamn kids. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my rifle. My palms began to sweat and my body began to tremble. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t kill them. But what did it matter? I had already smoked some of their parents. They would grow up remembering this night, and it would haunt them forever. Change them and twist them in ways that would be irreversible.
FUCK! Why … why does it always have to be like this? Why does it always have to be innocent lives? I didn’t give a fuck who they prayed to, or what they called God. I especially didn’t care that they had a deep hatred for Americans. Yet here I was, torn between what was right, and what was best. The two options in front of me were blurred and I began to wonder what the difference was. The end would come anyway, the world was as fucked as it had always been. Maybe I’d delay the deaths of innocent lives by killing the m
an who lived two floors above where I currently stood. Did it really matter? I concluded that I was already here. People were going to die regardless, and the man I was here to kill was responsible for orchestrating the terrorist attacks on September 11th.
I stepped back to the door, staring at the tear-filled eyes of the children. They clung to each other and cried loudly, scooting deeper against the wall to further the distance between them and me. I began to sob uncontrollably. I leaned up against the door, dropping my rifle to the ground, and buried my face in my gloved hands. “FUCK!” I screamed as I punched the wall repeatedly, deepening a hole into it. I collapsed beside the door and shook as I cried. I looked up at the dark ceiling, as if to look to some higher power in hopes that my pain may be eased. I braced myself against the wall and stood up slowly. My knees shook beneath me. I looked at the children and reached for the door with tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I said.
I shut the door and reached down for my rifle. As I was about to stand up, the muzzle of an AK47 raked downward across my face, knocking me down to the ground. I shook my head, rattled from the hit, and looked up to see the muzzle leveling on my forehead. I shifted my head to the side quickly just as he fired off a burst of rounds. The bullets flew past my head and cut through the door, and the children on the other side screamed. I stood up quickly, grabbing the barrel of the weapon with my left hand. I forced it into the wall while with my right I smashed my elbow into his nose, causing him to release the rifle and fall backwards. I orientated the rifle into my shoulder, racked a fresh round, and fired two into his chest and one in his head. I checked down the hall for any more hostiles, then I looked back at the door that led to the children. The rounds had hit the door square in the center. I could hear the children crying in horror. I pushed the door open and my heart felt like it stopped. Two of the ten children lay dead on the ground in a pool of blood. I felt the familiar burning of anger and hatred brewing inside me. My body shook and my jaw trembled. I backed out of the room, dropping the AK. I grabbed my rifle and sprinted to the stairwell. With no regard for tactics I ran upstairs, where I encountered another man with a rifle. I rounded the corner and nearly ran into him. I hit him with the stock of my weapon and shot him multiple times. I then ran to the top level, doing a magazine exchange on the move.