by Brad Raylend
The next morning Todd and Luke woke early and prepped their horses. They loaded their supplies into the saddlebags and tied their camping rolls to the saddles. The two then went inside and had a quick breakfast. The conversation was light and Todd could tell that Sarah and Jack were not happy to see the two of them leaving. Over the past few days, Todd had become so involved with this family that he had almost forgotten the reason why he was here. He started returning to the mission mindset. He looked over the ink map that Luke had given him and studied it religiously, taking into account key terrain features and danger areas like deep gorges and ravines. It was far from the quality of the terrain maps of the future but more useful than the MTX’s imagery as it was current and had towns and trails labeled. He used York’s journal to jot down a few notes about the route and put it in his pocket.
He threw on his long duster and clipped the 1911 to his leather belt just behind his right hip. He placed his spare magazine caddy on his left hip. He stuffed the MTX down into his boot and pulled his trousers over the long neck of the aged leather.
Luke walked in from the kitchen and gave him a nod.
“You ready?”
The brim of Luke’s big hat curved up on the sides towards the crown and flattened out over his eyes. He wore a dark red bandana over his grey button-up blouse, and he carried two Colt peacemakers, one on each hip. Todd nodded in return and leaned down and picked the hat that Luke had given him.
The two walked out to the porch just as the sun was cresting over the horizon. Todd could see each breath in the brisk morning air. Sara and Jack stood on the porch, Sarah looking concerned. Luke kissed her and then wrapped his arm around her, his other hand holding a Winchester rifle. He pulled back and smiled at her.
“You be safe, ya hear,” he said.
She smiled and said, “It’s you two I’m worried about.”
Luke knelt and hugged Jack. “You be good.”
“I will, Papa,” he said, his little arms wrapped around Luke’s neck.
Sarah walked over to Todd and hugged him. “You two stay out of trouble.”
Todd smiled, gently patting her on the back. “We’ll be okay.”
“Tell that brother of yours I said hello, and that he is more than welcome to have supper with us,” Sarah said, putting her hands on her hips.
Todd smiled. “For your cooking … he might just change his ways.”
Luke walked over to his horse and untied the reins from the porch post. He then mounted it and adjusted in the saddle. Todd knelt down and held out his hand to Jack, who took it slowly, a sad expression on his face.
“When I get back, I’ll teach you some more of those weird words … okay?”
“… Okay,” Jack said softly.
Todd patted him on the head and then stood up and walked over to Esprit, who was tied to the other side of the porch. He mounted the mustang and pulled the reins to the right, making the horse dance in a half-circle.
“We’ll be back in two days,” Luke said.
Sarah nodded, putting her arm around Jack. Then the two men rode out of the yard towards the distant buttes. They both looked back and waved to Jack and Sarah, who returned the gesture.
“I still think you should stay with your family, Luke,” Todd said, bouncing up and down atop the horse alongside him.
“They’ll be okay, Todd. I want to meet this asshole brother of yours.”
Todd chuckled. “Well, let’s go find him.”
The two spurred their horses and they broke out into a gallop, racing out into the dark horizon, the rising sun at their backs.
* * *
January 2, 2016
I stood looking at myself in the mirror in my room. I deserved the scars, I deserved the pain.
My arm had taken months to heal from the op in Pakistan, and now that I had recuperated, it was time to make the final jump. I had spent the weeks prior to this planning a bogus op in Iraq in order to get Odin prepped. Tomorrow I will alter the course and say goodbye to this life forever. As a kid, I had always been fascinated by the Old West. It was a place where a man could truly be alone and free. I could live out the rest of my days there and not have to worry about altering the timeline … or rather fucking it up any worse.
A knock on my door broke me out of my daydreaming. I recognized the soft knock immediately and opened the door to Kara. Those damn eyes of hers … they could bring me back to reality no matter the circumstances.
“Yes?” I asked, sounding a little more impatient than I had intended.
“Todd … I was hoping we could talk,” she said softly. She was so damn gorgeous, I hate myself for the way I was to her. Always ignoring her, acting as if she wasn’t even there half the time. I was now thirty-eight years old; she was twenty-seven. I still felt it wasn’t right. I especially couldn’t do that to Brian. She is like a daughter to him, and he would die for her. I think he and I both would agree she deserves the best. Not me.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, a little gentler, trying to make up for my blunt greeting.
She said, “I have this … feeling. I don’t know what it is, but I feel that if I don’t do this now … I may not have another chance.” I could tell she was nervous. I wasn’t sure where this was going, but my heart started to thump in my chest. “I want to show you something,” she said.
I followed her out of the mess room and down the main corridor of the facility. She opened the main door and grabbed my hand, pulling me out into the frosty night. She let go of my hand and began pacing out steps, looking down as she carefully measured out her paces. I noticed then that she was wearing one of the suits beneath her long coat. Obviously, there were multiple suits in the facility in case one became damaged, but I had no idea that they had female versions. She stopped walking and turned in a tight circle to face me. She pulled off her coat and revealed the tight suit that complemented her figure. It was made entirely of the same black, flexible material that mine was beneath the armor. Hers did not have any armor plating. It seemed as if it was meant solely for time travel and not combat.
She held her hand out to me. My heart pounded in my chest as I stepped towards her. She took both of my hands and gently pulled me in close to her. She looked into my eyes and I felt the world around me slow down. She then looked down to the flexible touchscreen device that curved around her wrist. The time wheel on it was far different from the one on the MTX. Instead of four wheels that were labeled in years, it had ten wheels on it. I could faintly see the number that the wheels were set on. I counted at least nine digits.
I remember looking at her in shock as I had no idea what she was doing. She tapped “initiate” and stepped into me, taking my hands. The cables on her suit lit up with a bright light that lit her face. I could hear the familiar surge of electricity running through the cables. The light became brighter, and I heard the boom of the worm hole.
We continued staring at each other while the time changed around us in a rush of turquoise lights. The transition to the past was longer than I had ever experienced. She stared into my eyes the entire time, her hands atop mine. I ran my thumbs over the top of her soft gloved fingers. The transition stopped and the air became still, and all around us was darkness. The ground below us was too dark to see, and the horizon seamlessly blended into the star-filled sky. Her face was lit by a distant light in the sky, a single white light that looked like neither the sun nor the moon. Yet it cast a thin beam of light across the horizon. I turned back to her. I wanted this moment to never end. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. The dark world; void and without form around us.
“Kara …” I said softly. I tried to stop myself from telling her the truth, but I couldn’t lie to her. It had to be done, she needed to know. “I’m leaving, Kara,” I said. Her eyes instantly became saddened, and I could see the tears building up in them. It hurt, beyond anything I had ever felt. I couldn’t stand the feeling of being the reason for the look she had.
Softly, sh
e asked me, “Why?”
I told her. “I can’t take it anymore, I can’t stand to watch the world crumble around me because of my own actions. It was wrong to believe I could change what was meant to happen. No man should have that power.” Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she stared at me. Her head lowered, and she closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, Kara. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish I could be someone else, someone you deserve. But you can’t change destiny. I care for you, and I want you to be happy … which is why I must go. It’s the people I care for who always pay for my selfish actions.”
I tried to hold her, to comfort her the best I could but she gently resisted, tears rolling down her face. I shook my head. I hated myself for that. I still hate myself for never telling her how I felt. It hurts to think of the last time I saw her. I wish it could have ended on a better note, but as I have so grimly learned, life has a harsh way of taking away the people you love.
This journal is for whoever Brian chooses next to wield the power of time travel, as he no doubt will find someone shortly after I leave. I wrote this so that you will know what the past will bring you, and how much responsibility will be bestowed upon you. Whoever you are, and wherever you come from, know that no matter what you do the world will never change, and honestly … I don’t think it is worth saving.
Live for yourself, don’t become so fixated on changing what is, that you forget about you. I don’t fear the future anymore, and not because I know I will never see it again. I feel like I never left.
GHOST STORIES
Todd and Luke had ridden nonstop the entire day, racing through the winding hills that rose from the desert. Side by side, their horses snorted as their hooves pounded into the soft dirt. As the sun slowly dropped below the horizon, the two slowed into a trot and eventually came to a stop in a small clearing between some shrubs and boulders.
The two laid out their sleeping rolls and began building a fire. The music of the night began to amplify as they settled onto their mats around the fire. Todd stared into the flames as Luke rolled a smoke and licked the thin paper. The howl of a wild dog in the night caused Luke to look up into the star-filled night.
“Do you think we will make it to town by tomorrow?” Todd asked, trying to break the silence.
Luke didn’t answer; his eyes dropped from the night and looked down at the fire. “It wasn’t wild dogs,” he said softly.
Todd canted his head in confusion. “Huh?”
“The night I met Sarah … it wasn’t dogs that had cut my arm open,” he said as he studied the thin cigarette between his fingers.
Todd sat up, staring at Luke. The vague story from earlier that day had left him with assumptions, but he had accepted that he would never know the full story. He had sensed from the beginning that something in Luke’s past was weighing heavily on his conscience.
Luke breathed out slowly, then licked his lips. “When I was a boy, my father left me and my ma to fend for ourselves deep in the Arizona desert. The heat was as harsh as the animals that lived in it. My mother passed away when I turned fourteen, and it was then that I realized just how helpless I truly was.” He took a long drag on his smoke, then let it out. “I took the only good horse and began headin’ north in the hopes of finding a future. I had no plan, no idea what to do. I just chased the horizon from sun up to sun down. About two weeks into my journey, my horse finally collapsed, and I continued on foot. I was a scrawny kid. My knees wobbled as I staggered through the endless desert. When I ran out of water, I ran out of hope, and I felt my mind dying with my body. I collapsed and waited for my inevitable death.”
Todd listened intensely. He sat motionless, watching as Luke spoke and gazed out into the dark night. “What happened?” Todd asked.
Luke grinned and shook his head. “I remember nothing but the calm wind rustling the dry brush around me. The unforgiving sun … blinding me through my swollen eyes. Then I heard the sound of spurs and boots drop down from a horse. I looked up, and standing above me was a grizzled-looking man with a black hat and two polished pistols. He knelt down and looked at me; his eyes were squinted hard, and he was unshaven and dirty. He held his canteen out to me and waited for me to take it. I remember leaning my head forward, waiting for him to put the canteen to my cracked lips, but he just held it there.”
“Why?” Todd asked
Luke chuckled and looked up at Todd. “He stared at me with those hard eyes, not budging, and very grimly he said, ‘If ya want something … you have to take it.’ It took all of my strength to reach out and take if from him, I remember nearly drowning myself with the water, and he just watched, his eyes not leaving me. As time passed I began to learn more about my new acquaintance. He was a criminal; he had been running from the law in Arizona when he found me. He took me in, taught me how to survive, how to live outside the law, how to fight. He became my mentor and my only friend. As I grew older, I became more involved with his way of life … thieving, running, even killin’. When I was seventeen I killed my first man while robbin’ a general store for something to eat. The teller tried to stop me and I shot him in cold blood. At the time, I thought nothing of it. I felt proud to be more like my mentor, but yet, he always seemed so cold and distant.”
“What happened to this mentor of yours?” Todd asked.
Luke blinked then went on. “By the time I was twenty-five, he had put together quite the gang of thieves and gunfighters to assist him in his bad deeds. I was just a pawn in the posse, the bastard child of our fearless leader. I had killed many men by this time; most of them lawmen. My soul had been lost. I was an empty shell of anger and hatred. I thought with my guns and my greed. I didn’t care who was affected by my actions, nor did I care for myself. I saw humanity as a bunch a’ blind sheep who were enslaved by a system forced upon them.” He paused for a moment, his eyes intensely trained on the fire. He sat against his saddle, his arm resting on his knee, his other hand holding his smoke down at his lap.
“It was 1867, and as usual, we were runnin’ from the law. We crossed the Texas border into New Mexico to outrun their jurisdiction. We rode for days, hard into the cold dry desert. Not looking back. We had just robbed a bank in a small town on the border and had taken the lives of four men in the process. During that time, I had begun to question what we were doing. I started to see us as petty thieves who killed the innocent rather than idealistic outlaws. It was always a small peaceful town or village, and once we came through, it was left it in chaos and disarray.”
Luke blinked a few times and pinched the bridge of his nose; his eyes were clamped shut. “One day, we came upon this small house. We decided to stop and try and get some food and water from whoever lived there.” Tears began to pool in his eyes and he gritted his teeth. “I remember … she reminded me of my mother. It was just her and her little boy. She knew who we were and told us to leave, waving a shotgun at us. The men in my posse drew down on her, and her child ran to her. I heard the hammers cock on their six shooters and I drew my pistols on them. I couldn’t let them do it. It reminded me too much of me and my ma … out fending for ourselves, alone in the desert. When I drew on them they laughed, and my mentor looked at me in confusion. Things escalated quickly, their confusion turned to anger, and our disagreement turned to fighting. One of ‘em made a sudden movement and I started shooting. I just kept firing until both cylinders were dry, then I went for my knife. The last man standing was none other than the man who had taken me in … had saved me. He was confused and angry. It seemed like he wasn’t giving it his all. He sliced up my arm, never really going for the killing blow. I took it from him and stuck him in the gut.” Tears rolled down Luke’s cheeks. “I pulled back, and I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. He looked as if … he was proud of me. I dropped him to the ground, and the mother and child watched me in horror. I remember riding off without saying a word.”
Todd rubbed his face, trying not to break a tear at the sight of Luke. He could see the regret and remorse
that Luke felt. He wanted to try and cheer him up but couldn’t find the words to do so. Luke sniffed and wiped his eyes.
“It was late that night that I found my haven. My horse was a reminder of my past and bad deeds, and I let it go, wanting not a single part of that life to follow me. I clutched my arm and stumbled through the night for many miles. It began to rain, and I began to lose hope. It was then that I realized … it was exactly what I deserved. This life had left me the exact same way I had started … alone and helpless.” He licked his lips, blinked his teary eyes and looked up into the black horizon. “I came upon a small town. It was dark, all but one building. I remember not being able to think straight. Even if they knew who I was and turned me in, I was ready to face the consequences for the life I had lived. I knocked on the door, half-expecting it to open to the muzzle of a gun.” His eyes widened and the corners of his mouth curved up. “But instead, I found myself looking at the most beautiful girl in the world. And little did I know, she would become my way out, my reason to live. She didn’t just save me from the cold or my wounds … she saved me from that life. She brought out another side of me, and I knew very quickly that I couldn’t live without her.”
Todd’s lips tightened and his narrow eyes went to the ground, watching the firelight shift on the sand. He rubbed his sore hands that rested on his belly and took in a long breath. He found it somewhat ironic that regardless of how drastically different his and Luke’s lives had been, they shared a similar guilt. Todd had struggled with it for many years. In the future, many innocent people had died because of Todd. Collateral damage was an ever-present element of war, which Todd was all too familiar with. For many years, he had been able to look past the deaths of the innocent that had occurred around him. He now however was incapable of blindly shrugging off the notion of people simply dying because of their unfortunate timing. Todd was responsible for the deaths of over sixty million people, regardless of how someone might look at his situation, since those events in the future had basically never occurred. To Todd, that had still happened, and he would have to live with it for the rest of his life.