by Brad Raylend
York grinned. “Do you remember when we fell from that tree in the backyard? That old one that Mom wanted to have removed?”
“Yeah … I remember.”
“I don’t even remember falling, I just remember waking up and seeing the rock my head … our head had hit, covered in blood, and Mom rushing us to the hospital.”
Todd exhaled with a smirk. “Yeah … apparently, Mom heard us crying from inside the house. I don’t remember crying either.”
“You know Mom was supposed to be at work that day? She was home because she had been laid off for a DUI. If she hadn’t been there we probably would have died, just bled to death while unconscious and never would have even known. We were so young; do you remember much of life before that day? How easy would it have been if we had just slipped away; we wouldn’t have had to live through what was to come? How many people would be alive right now if we had never existed past that day … hundreds of thousands?”
“Millions …” Todd replied softly. His eyes shot up quickly to York, immediately regretting his words.
The grin on York’s face faded away, and he put his hands in the pockets of his black coat. “What were you doing when they found you?” York asked.
The question made Todd’s heart skip a beat. He knew the answer would not be good news to York. He knew it was the last thing he wanted to hear. But he wasn’t going to lie to him. He wasn’t going to try and persuade him any longer.
“I was dying,” Todd replied.
York’s eyes widened and his heart sank. The slightest bit of hope that he had held onto, the thought of his younger self having a better life in a safer world, had now perished.
“H—how?” he asked, looking back up at Todd with teary eyes.
“I was suffering from several wounds, and …”
“And what?”
“ … and I had just launched eleven nuclear missiles from outer space at the Eastern seaboard of the United States … killing millions.”
York looked at him in horror. His eyes began to dance around Todd, and his jaw flexed. “My God … we are an abomination … aren’t we? We were destined to destroy this world. Us, not mankind, but specifically us … me.”
“York …” Todd said firmly.
York sat down on the hay bale and continued. “In the end, it wasn’t politics, it wasn’t the government or the governments of others … it wasn’t an evil dictator or the scum that follow him.”
“Listen, York …” Todd pleaded.
York continued as if he didn’t hear him. “In the end … it was me. I set in motion the events that would bring an end to everything. I’m the anomaly, the glitch in the timeline that doesn’t belong.”
Todd knelt down in front of him. “York … where is your suit?”
York didn’t look up. “So that’s why you’re here, to ensure I can’t travel through time. They want to make sure I can’t fuck anything else up.”
Todd tried to reason with him. “That’s not …”
York interrupted. “Kara, the students. They don’t give a damn about me. They only want their technology back.”
“No,” Todd snapped. “They want you back.”
“They only used me … like an experiment for their science project. And now that it has failed, they want to remove me from the equation all together and start fresh. And now they will use you … use you until you have nothing left. Until you have nothing left to give, then they will push you aside and find another.”
Todd licked his lips. “You’re the one who ran, York. They didn’t abandon you, they didn’t throw you away. They aren’t trying to condemn you here … they just want to ensure the technology doesn’t end up in the wrong hands.”
“I’m already condemned here,” York whispered. “I destroyed the technology when I arrived. It’s gone, it can’t be used by anyone, anymore.”
Todd let out a quick breath. He looked at York who stared at the floor. The darkness engulfing him. “Please, York. Come back with me.”
York slowly looked up at Todd. “I can’t go back … I belong here.”
Just then, Luke walked in through the back door of the barn. York’s eyes shot up and stared at him like daggers. Luke gripped his pistol tightly.
“It’s okay, Luke,” Todd said, turning around and motioning towards York. “This is York … my brother,” he said, looking at York with a glare, telling him to play along.
Luke holstered his pistol and gave York a friendly nod. York looked back down at his feet.
“So, you won’t come back?” Todd asked, standing above him.
“No, I deserve this,” York replied softly.
Todd stepped away and walked towards Luke, who stood in the large doorway. He paused and looked back at himself. It was heartbreaking to finally meet his same-self only to find that he was a broken man, sad and alone, blaming himself for the evil in this world. There was no changing his mind; this was who he was. This was what the world had turned him into. Although Todd didn’t agree with him, he also didn’t blame him. How could one man bear such a difficult task? It made Todd question whether or not he wanted to continue with the mission himself. He knew once he returned, preparations would be made in order to send him back in time to continue altering the present day. Part of him knew that if he went through with it, he would end up just like York, sad and alone.
“I’m sorry, York,” he said.
York stood up slowly, presenting his appearance to Luke, who couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The two men were identical. York walked towards them, his walk all too familiar, yet his left arm swung slightly different than his right. No doubt a result of his injury in Pakistan. He approached Luke and Todd and stood a few feet from them.
“Don’t be sorry, you go back … continue your pointless escapade. Dedicate everything you have to it, and in the end, when you’re burnt out and hate yourself … I’ll be waiting for you here.”
Todd didn’t respond. Luke looked at the two men, not fully understanding what they were talking about, but he understood enough to know that York was not coming with them. York clearly was not the man he used to be. Whether he was a good person before, this was who he was going to be for the rest of his life. The look in his eyes told Luke that he was beyond repair. His soul was long gone; he had permanently been lost in the darkness.
York looked Todd in the eyes intensely. “You can’t change destiny, Todd. In the end, you will find yourself in the same place where you started, dying … and alone.”
He stepped past him and walked out of the barn. Not looking back, not saying another word. So, this was how it would end between the two Todd Yorks. It saddened Todd to think about leaving him here, but there was no changing him. Todd looked up at Luke with sad eyes.
“I’m sorry, Todd,” Luke said. “Don’t blame yourself, son. That’s what this world will do to people. If he has any chance of being brought back to light, it will have to be someone else who shows him the way.”
Was it the fact that he had let down Kara and the students? Or was it that he feared what York had become? Maybe it was both. He couldn’t believe how different of a person York was.
* * *
York sat atop his pale horse, looking down at the town from the hills above. His other self, Todd York, only a few hundred meters away, heading back to the saloon with his companion to retrieve their horses. He felt something inside him. Something deep and unshakable. Something that made a chill shoot through his body every time his thoughts turned to it.
He was the cause of everything he had hoped to change, and though he had planned to remain alone in the West for the remainder of his life, he felt something gnawing at him. Something needed to be done.
Todd and Luke mounted their horses and slowly began heading out of town, back east from whence they came. Todd didn’t say a word to Luke. He felt an empty spot in his soul that he feared couldn’t be filled. What if York was right? What if him going back in time would only further ensure the destined apoca
lypse? Would it bring upon his own self-destruction? He was beginning to feel like there was little reason to continue on. Why push on knowing that he would end up just like York?
Luke was deeply worried about him. He glanced over at him periodically as they road next to each other into desert. Todd’s grim expression showed his apparent distraught feelings. The sun was beginning to drop behind them as the small town slowly disappeared into the orange layers of light. They quietly rode along, not saying a word. The clomping sound of hooves on the desert floor became accompanied by the sound of crickets and howls of wild dogs in the distance. Soon the sky was dark and the desert became an endless transit of thought and sounds. They continued riding for several hours in the cool night breeze, trying to decrease the distance between them and home.
MOVING ON
Todd couldn’t take his mind off of York. He couldn’t believe he had come all this way only to find that York was far too damaged to come back, both physically and psychologically. Like the night prior, Todd and Luke had set up camp for the night. They picked an elevated spot that was at the base of a menacing butte.
The light from the fire glowed on the walls of the orange rocks’ smooth surface, casting the two men’s shadows up on it like a primitive projector. The two sat in silence, listening to the dry wood pop in the hot flames. Todd stared at the glowing coals beneath the roaring fire, thinking of his future to come. He feared the coming years, beginning to feel hopeless and lost inside. Returning to the future was becoming more and more of a damnation to him. The more he thought about it, the more he concluded that there was no reason for him to return. Nobody cared for him, nobody needed him. The only people who seemed to care for him was the McWilliams’ family. Why leave them when he had no reason to, no reason to return to a place that would bring him nothing? He was beginning to think that everything he needed was here.
“Luke,” Todd said softly.
Luke looked up from the fire, surprised to finally hear Todd speak after an entire afternoon of silence.
“Would it be alright if I stayed with you guys … just for a little while longer? At least until I can find a place where …”
Luke smiled big, interrupting him before he could finish. “Of course, my friend.”
Todd looked down at the ground. “I don’t want to be a burden, it’s just … I don’t think there is anywhere else for me to go.”
“Todd,” Luke said in a fatherly tone. “My home is yours.”
Todd’s mouth curved up, and he nodded.
“Forget about him, Todd. He will find his way eventually, it may be many years from now … but eventually he will forgive himself and he will find happiness. It may be at his very end when it happens, but someday he will,” Luke said.
“Have you ever met somebody who you believed it was simply too late to save?” Todd asked.
“Only one man,” Luke said firmly.
Todd bit his lip, looking back at the flames. “What happened to him?”
Luke’s smile disappeared, but his eyes remained soft. “It wasn’t until I killed him that I saw something change in his eyes.”
“Your mentor?” Todd asked surprised.
Luke nodded solemnly. “I thought he was the coldest man on the face of the earth. I saw something in his eyes the day I killed him. Something … good.”
“If you had never met Sarah … do you think you would have ever changed?” Todd asked.
“I don’t know, bud. All I know is that the man I was … was eventually going to die, one way or another.”
Kara could tell that the news wasn’t good. Kevin peeked into her office. She looked up quickly, hoping for news of him. Her excitement quickly faded when she noticed Kevin’s expression.
“He found him, Kara,” Kevin said softly.
She stood up quickly and followed him out to the main cabin, where the majority of Odin’s occupants worked. The large screen at the front of the room displayed the communications screen; a recently received message was displayed on the inbox. Her heart sank as she read it.
-SITREP-
I found York. I spoke with him briefly and after several attempts at trying to change his mind, I am afraid he does not wish to return. I tried, I want him to come back as much as you all, but he is not the person he used to be.
I am sensing serious psychological issues with him, no doubt symptoms of Post-traumatic stress disorder, among many other wounds that cannot be healed in one conversation. I believe that in time he will slowly forgive himself for the horrible things he believes he is responsible for, but as of now he is a lost cause.
As for my primary objective; his suit and MTX were destroyed. He disposed of them upon his arrival in order to prevent himself, or anyone else from using it. I am beginning my journey back east towards Durango. I will keep you posted and will notify you when I am ready for extraction. I am deeply sorry everyone. I’m sorry, Kara.
~Todd
Kara turned to notice several sets of concerned eyes staring at her. They quickly dropped to their monitors as she looked around the room. Amber stared at her with a look of utter shock. She couldn’t believe that her good friend had no intentions of returning to them, returning to Kara. She walked up to her slowly, wanting to comfort her. Kara turned and walked down the hallway towards her office, closing the door behind her.
HOME SWEET HOME
Luke let out a relaxed sigh as he began to recognize the familiar terrain around the two of them. The sun was setting behind them, casting long shadows that pointed towards the distant ranch. The horses sped up slightly at the familiar smell of home.
Todd leaned forward and stroked Esprit to thank her for her hard work during the past few days. She had mellowed quite noticeably through the long hours that they had spent together, yet there was no doubt she still had an ornery side to her, as she wouldn’t let anyone else but Todd touch her. The night prior, she had been acting strangely as she neighed and stomped loudly, waking up Todd and Luke. It took Todd several minutes to calm her down, as she continued to snort and shake her head. “Must’ve seen a ghost” Luke had chuckled. She eventually settled down, allowing the two men to fall back asleep. Since then however she had seemed quite relaxed.
The two men bobbed up and down atop their horses side by side. Todd looked over at Luke, who had an uneasy demeanor.
“You okay?” Todd asked.
Luke shrugged slightly, looking forward at his vast lands. “I just feel bad for ya, bud. Ya came all this way to help your brother, only to find him not wanting any help.”
“I didn’t come out of this empty-handed, Luke. You are a great friend. Meeting you and your family was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.” Todd’s mouth curved up.
Luke grinned. “Like I said last night, you will always have a home here.” His expression turned to curiosity. “What will you do next?”
“I don’t know. I guess I will return to Durango eventually.” Todd shook his head, not wanting to return to the future. “I made a promise to some people there.”
Luke nodded. “I understand.”
The two came to the back of the house and rode around the side towards the front, where the stable was. Jack had no doubt been watching from inside the house as he came running out of the house in excitement.
“Mama! They’re back!” he called out as he ran towards them.
Luke stepped down from his horse. Holding the reins with one hand, he knelt and wrapped his other arm around Jack and kissed him on the top of his head. Todd smiled and led Esprit into the stable. He opened the gate to her stall and tried to pull her in, but she pulled away from him, shaking her head.
Todd chuckled. “Come on girl, it’s just for the night.”
She continued to pull away and started to neigh loudly, pulling against the reins relentlessly. Todd’s smile disappeared as he observed her unusual behavior.
“What is it!” he snapped.
Just then, Todd noticed something from the corner of his eye. He
turned slowly towards it. The fading sunlight made it hard to see. Standing in the dark corner of the barn was York. Todd’s heart leaped into his throat, startled at the unexpected visitor. His dark clothes helped him blend into the shadows. Todd could faintly see the reflective surface of a polished Schofield revolver in his hand. Todd looked at the entrance to the barn; he could see that Luke had temporarily hitched his horse and had walked into the house with Jack. Todd swallowed, then spoke calmly in an effort to sound unsurprised.
“That was a good tail; had no idea you were following us,” Todd said.
“Where is it?” York said coldly.
“Where is what?” Todd asked.
“Your suit.”
Todd’s fists clenched down at his side. He couldn’t go for his 1911, York would no doubt recognize the movements and would shoot him before he would be able to draw it. He remembered that Luke had his Winchester on his saddle. He needed to get to it.
“It’s in the house,” Todd replied.
“Do they know you’re from the future?” York asked, his voice low and sounding aggravated.
“No, I lied to them. Told them I’m from Durango, and that you’re my rotten brother that I’m here to save him from himself.”
York scowled and raised the revolver, pointing its black muzzle at Todd. “Give me the suit, Todd.”
“What do you want with it?” Todd asked, his hands out to his sides, palms facing York.
“I have to fix this,” York said softly.
Todd looked at him in confusion. What did he mean by that? Todd’s heart pounded in his chest; he couldn’t believe this was happening. “This isn’t you, Todd. You’re a better man than this. Just come back with me …”
“It’s too late for that,” York interrupted. “I have to set things right, I need the suit. You’re going to give it to me.” His voice was low and heartless. Todd could tell that he meant what he was saying.
“Okay,” Todd said, nodding. “Let me go get it.”
He side-stepped to the front sliding door of the barn. He relaxed his hands and walked out of the dark building. Luke’s horse partially blocked the entrance. He would use this to his advantage, act as if he was trying to move around the animal and get to its right side where the rifle was. York followed him out of the barn, holding the gun trained at his back. Todd walked around the horse; he could see the wooden stock of the Winchester in its leather sheath. Just then, Luke came out of the house, his smile fading at the sight of York. Todd’s eyes widened, trying to tell Luke to stand down.