Wade left. The toilets would be better company than this. You win some, you lose some, he thought, but this is ridiculous.
It was possibly the first time in his life that Wade St. John had actually had his feelings hurt.
—
CHAPTER 12
—WAKE, bid the voice.
Tom’s eyes opened.
IT’S TIME.
Tom sat up, then stood. He stretched and grinned.
“Master,” he whispered.
He knew everything at once—things no one else knew, wondrous, miraculous things. The knowledge was a gift, like his new destiny.
“Destiny,” he whispered.
He felt a surge of life reaching out from his brain. There was a big bump on his head, but it didn’t hurt. In the mirror he examined his reflection and saw the tiny bruise on his throat, like a bite mark.
“Thanks, Master,” Tom McGuire said aloud to his room. He threw his head back and laughed, blushing a great and overwhelming joy. And there was more.
There was a black dot on the wall.
It was beautiful somehow. It was like art. A pendant hung around his neck, he discovered. It, too, was black and equally beautiful. He touched its warm cruciform shape and shivered.
I can do anything, he thought.
He started with the small stuff. He crimped coins with his fingers. He bent a pair of scissors in half, crushed a metal file drawer like an accordion. Concentrating, he punched a hole into the center of his desk, then he picked up his History 202 text, History of a Free People, and tore it in half.
At once the Supremate’s voice was in his head, like a chord:
—OURS IS A SACRED MISSION, MANIFOLD IN DESIGN, HOLY IN PURPOSE. WE NEED YOU TO DO WHAT WE CANNOT.
“I am your servant forever,” Tom said to the air.
—I GIVE YOU STRENGTH, WISDOM, ETERNAL LIFE.
Tom couldn’t resist. “Your wish is my command.”
The Supremate’s voice steepened in silence. —JOIN US NOW IN A GREAT DESTINY. YOU WILL BE WORSHIPED SOMEDAY.
The word slipped around his head, fine as brandy in a snifter. Worshiped, he thought. Like a…god.
“I will do anything…”
—WORK STEADFAST AND ALONE IN THE DAY, AND WITH MY DAUGHTERS AT NIGHT. THEY WILL GUIDE YOU INTO THE REALM OF AN IDEAL THAT KNOWS NO FLAW.
Tom could only nod now, bliss choking out his words.
—TOGETHER, TOM, WE WILL MAKE HISTORY.
««—»»
Lydia Prentiss jerked out of sleep, not terrified but shaking from some monumental despair. She grimaced at the clock: 6 P.M.
Gradually stabs of her dreams re formed. She’d dreamed of dead, bloated animals. She’d dreamed of anthracene headaches, fingerprint tape, and blurred vision from too much UV light. She’d dreamed she found Sladder’s arm. It was withered and gray, the hand drawn into a claw. She’d been injecting glycerin under the fingertips to distend the ridge patterns when the arm twitched to life, its claw hand snatching for her throat…
The sweat on her skin felt chill when she got up. She always slept nude for it made her feel less lonely—often she’d wake with her arms wrapped about the pillow, a stuffed dummy for a lover.
She purged herself in the shower. The water felt wonderful. White had given her a couple days off; he wanted her out of the way until the people from the state left. He would downplay it all, to believe the safest scenario. White was a horse wearing blinders.
Forget it. Think about something else. She soaped herself, imagining someone else was doing it. Some strong beautiful man’s hand glided the sudsy bar around her breasts and stomach.
She gave in, closed her eyes. Then the fantasy showed Sladder’s hand on her flesh. She rushed out to dry herself, grimacing.
“You know what your problem is, Lydia?” she asked the mirror. “You treat everyone like garbage because it’s easier than facing the fact that you’re a rotten, detestable cunt. No wonder nobody likes you. No wonder you don’t have any friends.”
The mirror didn’t argue.
It was all true, she knew that. She pictured herself going from job to job, place to place, with no one. She would grow old and die alone—a wizened wretch.
She sat down naked on the bed, already bored. Television was useless, she hadn’t watched it in months. On the nightstand, next to her Colt Trooper Mark III, yesterday’s Marlboro stood on end. She’d been too tired to smoke it, so tonight she could have two, which mildly excited her. The cigarette thing was the only promise she hadn’t broken. The others lay in pieces about her life.
Absently she looked down at her feet, her legs, her clean pubic hair and belly button. She had a nice tan already. No one knew that lying on the apartment roof was the bulk of her social life. She always wore a minuscule string bikini. She jogged every day, worked out with dumbbells, and did lots of sit ups to keep her stomach flat. Why she worked so hard to remain physically attractive mystified her: she showed her body to no one, and hadn’t in years. She presumed she was attractive but was unimpressed by the presumption. She’d read in Cosmo that women who felt ugly on the inside compensated for that by making themselves beautiful on the outside. The idea distressed her.
She glanced secretively at the blinds. They were closed, not that anyone could peep in at her on the third floor. She felt silly. She parted her legs, then gently touched herself with her finger. Why should she be embarrassed? Everybody did it, didn’t they? She’d also read in Cosmo that even women with active sex lives masturbated regularly. Well, then…
She filled her head with pictures of muscular men. Broad hands roamed her breasts and thighs, hard penises rubbed against her. Mouths kissed her neck and sucked her nipples. In her mind, she was penetrated and humped by a gorgeous, curved cock. But…
Nothing. Perhaps so much conceit had turned her the other way. She thought of women making love to her but flinched at once. No, this was no good at all. Her finger slackened; the inlet of her supposed passion felt as cold and unresponsive as the rest of her.
She knew the reason. No one liked her because she didn’t like herself enough to let them. The one lover in her life she’d chased away with her sarcasm and ridicule. She was awful to everyone. It was easier that way, wasn’t it? Easier to just be awful.
She’d been awful to Wade St. John, and she’d delighted in it. What was wrong with her? How could I have said those things to him? He was just a harmless punk kid and she’d gone after him like a shark to blood, as if by natural response.
At once she was disgusted with herself.
Lydia Prentiss stood up. Isn’t this ridiculous? A college-educated twenty six year old nude female police officer making promises to a wall? Yes, it was ridiculous, but just the same, to the wall she made her vow: “I am not going to treat people like garbage anymore. I will not look down on others, and I will not be unkind. I am going to be a good person, and I’m going to start right now.”
She heard the world laughing.
««—»»
And as Lydia Prentiss made promises to a wall, a girl named Penelope blinked and breathed and fidgeted, jammed immobile and plumply swollen in a sheen of some hot, mucoid slime, her face stupidly collapsed against what was now her home.
Her big, squashed eyes stared out, aglow.
—
CHAPTER 13
“Hey, Jerv,” Wade greeted. “Am I interrupting something?”
Jervis turned guiltily. “Uh, no,” he said. There was another guy in Jervis’ room—greasy hair, gaunt face, tacky sports clothes. He looked like a bookie. He gave Wade a fast once over.
“If you have any problems,” the guy said to Jervis, “call me.”
Jervis nodded. The guy slipped past Wade and left.
“Who was that slimeball?”
“Just a friend,” Jervis said. “Have a Kirin.”
Wade got the message that Jervis didn’t want to talk. He opened a Kirin from Jervis’ fridge. The Japanese made beer of notable quality, like their tor
pedo bombers. “Missed you last night, man. Tom and I went out and had a few beers. We were a little worried.”
Jervis sipped his own Kirin from his desk, inspecting something that looked like a pocket radio. “I was studying at the library.”
Right. Studying. Never mind that classes don’t start till next week. “Well, we’ll be partying again tonight, so you can catch up.”
“Can’t make it tonight either,” Jervis said.
“Why the hell not? We got bad breath or something?”
Jervis went to the fridge for another Kirin. He was acting…funny. “I got some personal business, that’s all.”
“Oh,” Wade said. He wandered to the desk, picked up the radio. A sticker on the back read: “49MHz Simplex Receiver Unit. Not for commercial use, not for sale.”
“Jerv, what’s this ridiculous thing?”
“Just a transistor radio.”
“Oh, yeah? Forty nine megahertz? That’s not a very popular station—it’s off the dial.”
Jervis frowned. He pulled the end off a Carlton and lit up.
“Jerv, Jerv,” Wade said. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“It’s still this Sarah thing, isn’t it? I don’t know what you’ve got cooking, I don’t know what this thing is, and I don’t know who that scuzzy looking guy was. All I know is my best friend is weirding out. You’ve got to let Sarah go.” Every time Wade said “Sarah,” Jervis winced. “You’re starting to scare the shit out of us, man. We think maybe you’re cracking a little.”
Jervis smiled like a ghost. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“All right, I get the message.” Wade got up, “You seen Tom?”
“I saw him leaving earlier, couple of hours ago, I guess.”
Great, Wade thought. I’ll be drinking alone tonight. “Later.”
“Hey, Wade…don’t worry about me, okay?”
Wade stopped and turned at the door.
“I’m not cracking up. It’s just that I’ve got something going right now. A quest, a cleansing. Like the Sartre novel.”
Not that Sartre shit again, Wade fretted. The fucker’s been dead ten years and he’s still fucking up people’s lives.
Jervis gulped smoke and continued. “Don’t worry about me. You and Tom are my best friends. Just trust me on this, okay?”
“Sure, Jerv. We’re always around if you want to talk.”
Wade went back to his own room. He didn’t like any of this. It was bad enough to lose a friend to outside forces, but inside forces were worse. They were the ones that tore you apart.
He felt depressed. The whole day had been depressing, cleaning toilets, mopping floors. Being shit on by Officer Prentiss hadn’t exactly livened him up either. He was getting himself a bottle of Adams when he heard footsteps in the hall.
He ducked out and saw Tom disappear into his room.
“Hey! Hey, Tom! Are we…”
Tom’s door closed. Had he been carrying something under his arm? It looked like a briefcase or something.
Wade strode down the hall, pushed open Tom’s door. “You must need a hearing aid. Are we going downtown tonight or what?”
Tom wasn’t in the room. Wade looked around slowly. He was sure he’d seen Tom enter, or at least he thought he was sure. He checked the bathroom, the closet. Tom wasn’t here.
Wade sputtered back to his room. The hall was dark; maybe Tom had gone to the exit stairs at the end of the hall, or maybe it had been someone else, a new student coming on. Or maybe—
Or maybe Lysol fumes are making me see things, he finished.
He had to find something to do tonight—there were only a few more days before classes started. Call up an old flame, he decided. Shit, he had enough old flames to start the Chicago fire. There were lots of girls who’d drop everything this minute to go out with him. He called Melissa over on the Hill, a gal who really knew her stuff. “Melissa, baby! This is Wade. Sorry I didn’t return your call the other day, but you know how it is.”
“No, Wade, I don’t. So tell me. How is it?”
“Well, you know, babe. I’ve been busy.”
“Yeah, I heard. Sorry, I don’t go out with toilet cleaners.”
“I—I—”
Click.
Next number. Wendy. Yeah. Real hot stuff. “Wendy, baby! This is Wade. You want to go out tonight? Dinner, a few drinks, a little cruising around in the Vette?”
“Well,” she said. “How about…no?”
“What do you mean no? We went out a lot last semester.”
“You didn’t clean toilets last semester either. What gall!”
Wade hung up. Don’t get discouraged, he thought slowly.
Wade got discouraged. Quickly.
He tried six more girls and struck out six more times. Nobody wanted to go out with guys who cleaned toilets—they’d all read the paper. In one day he’d gone from status symbol to comedy symbol.
The phone rang, a further mocking shrill. “Toilet Cleaners, Inc.,” he answered. “You flub ’em, we scrub ’em.”
Silence like reluctance stretched across the line. Then a dryly sexy woman’s voice inquired, “Is this Wade St. John?”
“Yes, it is, or what’s left of him.”
A long pause. Then: “This is Lydia Prentiss.”
Now it was Wade’s turn to pause. Hang up! Hang up! his thoughts barked. Don’t talk to the bitch! Hang up!
But he couldn’t. Somehow, he simply…couldn’t.
“You’re lucky you caught me,” he said. “I was just about to go out for some ‘joyriding through life on a silver platter.’ You know, a ‘spoiled rotten rich brat’ like me tends to keep active. Must be all that ‘family money and bullshit’ keeps a guy slick. This is quite a surprise, though. I didn’t know the ‘bottom of the barrel’ had a listing in the phone book. What can I do for you?”
Her voice faltered in snatches. “Mr. St. John, I’m calling to…” She sighed, almost forlornly. “I feel terrible about the things I said to you this morning.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, I really do.” She actually sounded choked up. “I don’t know what got into me. I had a really bad day in the first place. I got in an argument with my boss, then you walked in and I took it all out on you. I’m really sorry.”
“In other words, you’re…apologizing?”
“Yes,” she said.
Hmm. This could be interesting. “Well, it just so happens that I’m a very forgiving kind of guy, and, yes, I accept your apology.”
“Thank you,” she uttered.
“But of course apologies are just rhetoric, just talk, and talk lacks meaning. Don’t you agree?”
“Well—”
“And the best way for you to prove the meaning of your apology is to go out with me. Tonight. So what time do I pick you up?”
Now her pause raced for an exit. “I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”
“Oh, I see,” Wade said. “You’re just apologizing to clear your conscience.”
“It’s not that. It’s—”
“I know. You’d sooner drink your own urine than go out with me. Who writes your stuff, by the way? Rickles?”
“No, please. I…”
“That’s all right, I accept your apology anyway. Good night.”
Wade calmly hung up. He dropped his empty Adams bottle into the trash compactor and got himself another. When the phone rang again, he answered, “Joe’s Used Silver Platters. May I help you?”
“I’ll go out with you,” Lydia Prentiss said.
“Smart girl. Where do you live?”
“I’ll just meet you someplace.”
“All right. The Exham Inn? Nine o’clock?”
“That’s fine,” she said. “I’ll see you then.”
Confidence returned. He busied to get ready. Who knew? Perhaps the day wouldn’t be a complete catastrophe after all.
««—»»
The dark office tingled in the Supremate’s
influence. Tom liked that. He liked the dark and its dim silver edge.
Hope this is the right stuff. Botching his first assignment was no way to begin an eternal relationship. Eternal. The word seemed to glow. I give you strength, the Supremate had promised. Wisdom. Eternal life.
Besser hadn’t been pleased with Tom’s methods. “Sloppy,” he complained. “We can’t afford that, not this early.” He grumbled further, flipping through the folders. “Be more careful in the future. At this stage, an influx of police would cause problems.”
Tom didn’t understand. “Who cares about the police? The Supremate has made us immortal.”
“You, yes. But not Winnie and me.”
Tom gave that one some thought. It didn’t add up.
“You’re one to talk, Dudley, about being careful.” Winnifred Saltenstall sat back in a chair. She looked bored. Her hand moved idly beneath her dress. Is that all she ever does? Tom wondered.
Besser’s hog jowls tensed. “What do you mean by that?”
Winnie laughed. “Look at the mess you left at the agro site. Talk about sloppy. You left footprints, bloodstains. You didn’t even pick up the empty bullets. I heard my husband talking to White about it. He’s got that new police officer working on it. She used to be an evidence technician.”
“White’s just pacifying the dean,” Besser argued. “He’s a brownnose; the police have nothing, and even if they did, White would bury it. He knows a campus murder would jeopardize his job.”
“You better hope so, Dudley—”
Tom smiled at their silly bickering.
“—and would you please send that thing away,” she was saying.
It took Tom a moment to catch on. She means me, doesn’t she? Send that thing away. Me.
“Don’t be unkind, Winnie. Tom’s part of the family now.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s unnerving,” she fussed. “Tell it to go.”
Tom didn’t like being called an it or a thing. He looked at her very blankly. He wondered. He just wondered.
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