“If it helps,” Rebecca said. “I can take Dani out for a while on Sunday. Let you two have some time with Davey.”
Brooke nodded her thanks and turned back to Tess. “We’ll get through it.”
Tess smiled doubtfully. “I really might need that distillery,” she looked at Rebecca, sending them both into earnest laughter.
Brooke shook her head at the pair. “I don’t want to know.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“They’re both asleep,” Brooke told Tess. Tess nodded. Brooke smiled at her reassuringly. “This is not your fault, Tess.”
“I don’t know,” Tess said. “Whose fault is it?”
“No one's.”
Tess disagreed. “I know they all have their growing pains. I just hate…”
“Loving him so much and wanting to scream at him so badly?” Brooke asked lightly. Tess nodded and finally sighed. “I get it,” Brooke said. “Look at it this way, after the twins we will probably have been put through just about everything parents can think of,” Brooke said. Tess arched her eyebrow skeptically. “What?” Brooke asked.
“Somehow, I think that theory might be flawed, love.”
“Well, we can hope.”
“Yes, we can—hope,” Tess agreed.
Brooke sat down on the end of the bed and watched Tess thoughtfully. There was something more ticking in Tess’s mind. Brooke could see the wheels turning in Tess’s eyes. She looked at Tess lovingly. “Tess?”
Tess pulled her gaze back to focus on Brooke. She smiled unconvincingly and took a deep breath before closing her eyes.
“Talk to me,” Brooke prodded her wife cautiously. “I know that you are upset about Davey. So am I. There is something else bothering you; I can tell.”
Tess opened her eyes and immediately began to cry.
“Tess… Please don’t cry,” Brooke reached over and brushed the tears from Tess’s cheeks. “It’s not that bad. He’s a good kid. It’s a phase. That’s all. We’ll get through it.”
Tess offered Brooke the hint of a genuine smile. She always felt comforted in Brooke’s presence. It was a feeling that Tess could recall from almost the first real interaction she and Brooke had. Brooke’s eyes held a glimmer of compassion that always shined through. Even in moments of playfulness, Brooke’s eyes communicated a sense of understanding and gentleness.
“Please?” Brooke urged Tess again. “Did something else happen?”
“No,” Tess said. “And, yes.”
“Okay? If I am supposed to follow…”
Tess reached out and took Brooke’s hand. She took a deep breath for courage and let it out slowly. “Brooke, I…”
“What?” Brooke began to grow nervous. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. I guess I just don’t know what you are going to think about what I am about to say.”
“You can say anything to me,” Brooke replied without hesitation. “You know that.”
“I do know that. That doesn’t mean that I always expect you to like what I say or to agree with it,” Tess said. Brooke waited for Tess to continue. Tess squeezed Brooke’s hand and took one last deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about what we are going to do when this baby comes.”
Brooke was puzzled. “What do you mean? Like who gets up at night? Or… I mean, I thought we…”
Tess giggled. “No, love. Who is going to be here to take care of him?”
“Well, I thought… You know, I will have a full eight weeks. That’s what Rach took. You have that ability, so we could overlap for a couple of weeks and then you would be…”
“No,” Tess said. “I don’t mean just for the first few months,” she told Brooke. Tess could tell that Brooke was still not following her train of thought. “I mean… What about after that. We haven’t talked much about that.”
“Oh,” Brooke said. “Well, I mean… I figured we would hire somebody for when we are at work,” she offered. “Didn’t you figure that?”
Tess nodded and then sighed.
“Tess?”
“I… Brooke, I…”
“Tess, what?”
Tess bit her lip nervously. “What would you think if I left my job?” she asked in one quick breath.
Brooke’s gaze narrowed. She wasn’t sure that she understood what Tess was suggesting. She tipped her head in questioning.
“You don’t want me to…”
“No,” Brooke said. Tess nodded and hung her head. “No,” Brooke chuckled uncomfortably. “I mean, no, that’s not what I meant.”
Tess looked up hopefully. “I don’t want you to think that I am trying to…”
“I’m just surprised,” Brooke admitted. “Is that really what you want to do? You have always been adamant about your job.”
“Yes, but we weren’t having babies then.”
“True. You worked when you had the D.’s,” Brooke pointed out.
“I did, but I had Gram then. Then I had Jackie and Gram to help. By the time Gram was gone and Jackie left, the kids were in school. The twins always had someone close to guide them when I wasn’t there. Someone who was family to me—to them,” Tess explained. Brooke smiled. “I don’t want some stranger raising our kids. And, face it, Brooke. We can’t live on my salary alone. You have the career that…”
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Brooke asked.
“Yeah, I am,” Tess said. “I’m not saying that I like the idea of not contributing. I don’t.”
“Not contributing? I would think that being home and dealing with three kids would be considered a monumental contribution.”
“You know what I mean,” Tess said seriously.
“Yes, I do,” Brooke admitted.
Tess was incredibly proud, and as much as she loved Brooke, Tess remained fiercely independent in many ways. She prided herself on being able to contribute emotionally and financially to their family. Brooke had suggested a few times that Tess drop back to working part-time and take some classes. Tess had always refused. It had taken Brooke time to understand Tess’s reasoning. It had required Brooke’s mother providing a bit of perspective for Brooke for Brooke to let go of her ideas.
The twins had been a surprise in Tess’s life. For Tess, no matter how much that surprise caused upheaval in her life plans, her children had been a welcome surprise. Not everyone had reacted with joy to Tess’s pregnancy. Her decision to become a mother at a young age had caused tension in her family and had set Tess’s life on a drastically different course than she had originally planned. Tess had done everything and anything she could to provide a stable and loving home for Dani and Davey as a single mom. From Brooke’s point of view, Tess had been immensely successful. Right now, Brooke was sure that Tess was questioning her decisions. Davey’s behavior had rocked Tess more than she wanted to admit. Brooke knew that.
Tess’s relationship with her parents had improved dramatically, but it was still not without its moments of tension. Tess’s mother could, at times, be a harsh and vocal critic of Tess as a mother and as a person. While Brooke knew that Mary Sinclair acted with the best of intentions, her words and actions often caused Tess pain and frustration. One of Mary’s biggest criticisms of Tess had been the revelation that Tess was a lesbian. That had quelled considerably over the last year. But, Mary’s years of critical exposition had led Tess to be completely open and honest with the twins about her life, including her sexuality.
Brooke had partaken in more than one conversation with the kids about the reality that they were being raised by lesbian parents. Tess had always been honest and frank with the twins. She had made it clear that at some point she suspected they might get teased about their mother’s life. And, she had been clear that no one had the right to judge another person in that way. In fact, Tess had continually encouraged dialogue with Dani and Davey about anything and everything that concerned them. There was not a doubt in Brooke’s mind that Davey using negative language regarding sexuality had not only infuriated Tess; it had hur
t her deeply.
Brooke could tell Tess over and over again that Davey didn’t mean it; that this was part of a phase he was going through. Tess knew that. Brooke had no doubt that rationally Tess understood. Each day, Brooke learned more and more that being an adult and being a parent did not bequeath a person with all the answers to life. It also did not shield a person from getting their feelings hurt. For many years, Brooke had only been someone’s child. She had, without realizing it, always assumed that parents hurt their children’s feelings, but somehow parents were strong enough to be immune to the hurt that their children’s actions and words could cause. Falling in love with Tess and the twins had changed Brooke’s perspective entirely.
Davey knew that his actions would strike a nerve with both his mother and Brooke. Brooke also understood that Davey had no concept of how deeply his actions and words had the power to cause pain. He was ten. And, Brooke wanted to be sure at this moment that Tess was not making a decision about the future based on the pain in the present.
“Tess, I just want to be sure that you are sure. I know that the last couple of months with D. have been…”
“Yes, they have been,” Tess stopped Brooke’s thoughts midstream. “They’ve been hell at points. And, I won’t lie to you, I do feel guilty…”
“See, I don’t…”
“Let me finish,” Tess told Brooke. “I do feel guilty for not noticing things that I should have. So much has been going on. Maybe I would have seen more if I were home more.”
“You are always there for the kids,” Brooke said honestly.
“Yes, but maybe that needs to be more tangible than it has been,” Tess said. “And, Brooke… What I told you about this baby… I don’t want some stranger raising our child. I can’t bear that thought, to be honest. I can’t stop thinking about it. I just…”
“You don’t have to convince me,” Brooke said, a smile returning to her face.
“Yes, but I also want to be sure that it is something you want.”
“Why wouldn’t I want that?” Brooke questioned.
“I don’t know, maybe because I don’t want you to resent me for being home with the kids when you are working.”
Brooke smirked in amusement. She leaned in and kissed Tess on the cheek. “Not going to happen,” she assured Tess. “We both know that you are better at being still. I have to keep moving.”
Tess laughed. “Love, I don’t think you would be still very much at home with an infant and the twins,” she said.
Brooke shrugged. “Are you really sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, I am.”
“When are you thinking?” Brooke asked. Tess bit her lip again, and Brooke leaned forward to urge her to answer.
“When do you think?” Tess replied with a question of her own.
“Oh, no. As far as I am concerned you can quit tomorrow,” Brooke said. “I told you a long time ago that if you…”
Tess held up her hand. “No. I am not doing this to go back to school, Brooke. If anything, I want to look for some way to keep contributing.”
“Because raising three kids and taking care of everything you already do is not enough of a contribution?”
“You know exactly what I am talking about,” Tess said.
“I do, but I don’t agree, and you know that. You deserve to have something for you…”
“Brooke, this is as much for me as it is for them or for you. That is the one thing that I can never seem to make you understand. If I could have stayed home with Dani and Davey, I would have in a second. I didn’t have that option. Don’t get me wrong; I have loved my life with them—with you. I do love my life as it is. But, in a few months, all of our lives are going to change. And, I need to change with it.”
Brooke nodded. One of the things she loved the most about Tess was Tess’s devotion to the people she loved, most of all to their family. Tess thought that Brooke didn’t understand. Brooke did.
“I understand,” Brooke told Tess. Tess arched her eyebrow doubtfully. “I do,” Brooke chuckled. “You think I don’t, but I do. I know you. I know that the most important thing to you is being Mom.’
“It’s one of the most important things,” Tess agreed.
“One of?”
“Yeah, one of. It’s not more important than being your wife,” Tess said.
Brooke smiled. “Good to know.” She placed a kiss on Tess’s lips. “I am guessing you want to do this sooner than later?” Tess’s lopsided grin was the only answer that Brooke required. She pulled Tess into her arms. “I’m all for it,” she said. She heard Tess sigh and knew Tess’s thoughts had traveled back to Davey. “He really will be okay, Tess,” Brooke promised.
“I know.”
“To tell you the truth, I’m kind of relieved that you brought this up,” Brooke said. Tess looked up at Brooke. “I am,” Brooke chuckled. “I mean… To tell you the truth... Well, I…”
“You are rambling, love. To tell me the truth, what?”
“You’ll laugh,”
“No, I won’t,” Tess promised.
“I’m a little…”
“Scared?” Tess guessed. Brooke looked away. “Oh, Brooke… Of course, you are.”
“I don’t just mean that something will happen again,” Brooke mumbled. “I mean… I mean just about all of it. Stupid. I bring babies into the world every day. Not like I don’t know what to expect along the way.”
“You don’t know,” Tess said flatly.
“I…”
“No, you don’t. You know what to tell people. You can recall what you have observed. You haven’t experienced it. Of course, you’re afraid,” Tess said.
“I mean being a parent too. You know, it’s different with the twins than with this baby.”
“How so?” Tess asked cautiously.
“They had you. I mean, you gave them their start. What if I suck?”
Tess smiled and cuddled closer to Brooke. “Never happen, love. Not unless you fill his bottle with that crap from Fukushima you drink.”
“Very funny, Diana. There is nothing wrong with Gatorade.”
“There is in a bottle.”
“That’s how they sell it,” Brooke quipped smartly.
“I meant one with a nipple.”
“I’m not opposed to those.”
Tess pulled away slightly and shook her head at Brooke. “You’re not opposed to bottles?” she teased. “I thought you wanted to breastfeed.”
Brooke wiggled her eyebrows. “I like nipples.”
Tess smacked Brooke lightly on the arm. “You are impossible,” she laughed.
“No, I’m just really happy right now.”
“Oh? You’re happy with a ten-year-old boy who is in trouble, a ten-year-old girl who won’t speak if he’s in the room, and a day ahead with a house full of equally moody ten-year-olds?”
“Yep,” Brooke said.
“I’m calling your father.”
“Why?” Brooke asked.
“You have some brain trauma or something. He’s a surgeon. He’ll know what to do.”
“Cute,” Brooke said, pinning Tess beneath her. Tess started giggling when Brooke tickled her. “What’s wrong?” Brooke asked. “Trouble breathing?”
“Brooke!” Tess tried to catch her breath.
“Oh, do you need a doctor? I know one.”
“Brooke… Stop,” Tess gasped between her fits of laughter.
Brooke stopped her tickling and leaned in as if she were about to kiss Tess. She heard Tess’s breath catch in anticipation, smiled and pulled herself up.
“Where are you going?” Tess called after her.
“You need a doctor. I’m going to go get Mom.”
Tess picked a pillow up from the bed and hurled it at Brooke.
“Violence?” Brooke turned back playfully.
“There will be if you don’t get back here and finish what you started, Dr. Campbell.”
Brooke stopped and grinned. “Really? You would hurt a
pregnant woman?”
“No, but I’d throw out her bottles.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Brooke said.
“Try me.”
Brooke pounced on the bed. “Don’t make me angry, Diana. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry,” she teased.
“I’ll take my chances,” Tess replied, pulling Brooke down and into a heated kiss.
Brooke instantly lost her breath. She did it again. How does she do that? Turn the tables on me in a second?
Tess giggled. She could guess where Brooke’s thoughts had traveled. Tess whispered sensually into Brooke’s ear. “Did you forget, love? You are married to Wonder Woman.”
Oh, yeah.
***
“Oh, my God. How many of them are there?” Rachel asked Tess in horror.
Tess laughed. “About twenty.”
Rachel shook her head and stared at the horde of kids running through Brooke and Tess’s yard. “This is my nightmare come true.”
Tess kept laughing. “Good thing you only have one,” she observed candidly. “That should cut the numbers in half for you. Only ten.”
Rachel looked at Tess and shuddered. “At a time anyway,” Rachel mumbled.
Tess lifted her brow suspiciously. “No way! You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Tess guessed. Rachel shrugged sheepishly. “Shit, Brooke is going to flip,” Tess laughed. “How far?”
“About the same as Brooke.”
“Oh, boy. You know, she is going to freak out if you can’t be the one to deliver this baby,” Tess said.
“Well…”
“Well, what?” Brooke came up behind the pair.
Rachel jumped at Brooke’s voice behind them. Tess hopped in to save Rachel. “Nothing. I think the mass of pre-teens has traumatized Rach,” Tess explained.
Brooke shrugged and took a sip from her bottle of water. She was enjoying watching the kids play their impromptu game in the backyard, though she wasn’t exactly certain what the game was supposed to be. Currently, it involved a soccer ball, a playground ball, and what seemed to Brooke like a whole lot of running in no particular direction. She laughed at the display. At least, the twins appeared to be getting along. She was sure that Tess was as grateful for that as she was. And, Brooke wondered what the twins were going to say the next day when she and Tess sat them down to tell them the news that Tess would be at home starting the end of the month. Brooke was fairly sure that Dani would greet the news with exuberance. Davey’s reaction, on the other hand, loomed as a question mark in both Brooke’s and Tess’s minds.
Late Arrivals (Special Delivery Book 4) Page 7